bakerstreet | Romantic Attempt

Hahahaha!

[Ugh, what an awful, relieved laugh! But this horrible skeleton that has ensnared him in a dark prison of passion is so cute that he can't stop himself. He doesn't mean to squeeze his fingers and start swinging his arm like they had during their drunken misadventures, but he's blushing so furiously and the morning air is so crisp and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

but now Papyrus talking about how he doesn't need that much to impress him oh no, what this was going to be too fancy?? Did he have to call the restaurant back up again and tell them to turn it down? He already put the fear of termination in them; he can't take that back!!]

W-well, the GREAT Papyrus deserves something great, doesn't he? It's the least I can do for such a loyal and dedicated fan!

I'm still your biggest fan! But I'm also happy to just be with you! We're clearly both great and amazing people! I don't need things like... huge LED screens with my face on them broadcasted everywhere! Even though actually I would really like that. But that's not the point!

I'm a very humble skeleton. My desires are to see your smile!

[Nooooooooooo he's so sweet! If it was anyone else, MTT could have said it was just fluffing his ego for the sake of getting close, but with Papyrus? He meant it! He was amazing and Mettaton was amazing, so why wouldn't they just be happy to spend time together being amazing?

He can tell he has an embarrassingly stupid smile to match the one Papyrus is making, so he pulls him closer as they trudge through the snow and to Waterfall.

vrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

I can do that as long as you'd like me to~. Anything to make my sugarskull as happy as he makes me.

[They're both disgustingly infatuated with each other and they've only been dating for five minutes. Eat it, every other couple ever. Even if he's now still questioning just how the skeleton will react to the restaurant. UGH. He knew he should have called Burgerpants to do it! He would underachieved to the greatest of mediocrities!

Hmph.

...It strikes him that he knows about the romantic dinners and cuddling and awkward bed wrestling, but he honestly has no idea what to do in between. Most movies... sort of go straight from the first to the last in the span of their run-time. This is a romantic, leisurely walk, so there isn't any time for dancing or paintball or playing hilarious pranks on burglars...]

...so. How. are things? [He's one step away from asking about the weather. This is great.]

Edited (I THOUGHT OF A THING, CAN'T STOP ME) 2016-01-12 01:32 (UTC)

[Hand holding? Pah! That's for people who AREN'T DATING. Now, arm-linking, that's where it's really at. So that's what Papyrus does! Links arms with his giant robot now-boyfriend. ...They are boyfriends now, right? Maybe he should ask that. Maybe he should wait until after the date? Oh no, he doesn't know if it's too late to ask now, and if waiting until the end of the date is definitely too late!!

If only they could enter into the annual Nose Nuzzlers competition, but alas, Papyrus has no nose, and they would be disqualified on that alone. What a curse it is sometimes, to be a skeleton...]

How... are things?

[Hmm. MAYBE he can get Mettaton to say they are boyfriends or something before Papyrus has to ask.]

Well! I'm going on a date, so I think that's a pretty positive thing! And before that, I was cleaning up for a while, and I'm just now realizing I think I left the vaccuum out... But I did my chores as new Captain of the Royal Guard today, so I don't have to worry about that at least!

But generally, everything's going well!

... So how are you?

[Linking arms, are they? How forward! The robot wraps his noodle arms around the skeleton's in response. Finally being able to experience touch made you a little touchy-feely, alright?]

Ohoho! I forgot that I'm dating a Captain! [Well. All the Guard did now was plant flowers, but the title was still an important one! And what's the point of doing anything you aren't going to be ranked by how amazing you are at it?

Swooning. Just a little, in that breathless-but-not-just-because-he-doesn't-have-lungs sort-of-sighing way.] You must be very impressive at what you do.

And I'm splendid, sugar. My new sound-designer and I are working on a brand-new album inspired by the human that came through. It's a concept album! Very high-brow. I couldn't be more excited! And best of all, I'm with you!

[Eugh. As romantic as dimmly lit caves are supposed to be, they were at one of the actual waterfall parts of... Waterfall. With all of Undyne's "rock-traps". No style at all. But not wanting to wade through all this water would give him the opportunity to really stretch-out these dating muscles!] Hold on to me, will you?

[Not only does the Guard only plant and water flowers now... but Papyrus is literally the only member. Which is... well. Not exactly what he had in mind, but... it is the title he wanted.]

Oh- well! I do my very best! And since I'm naturally so good at so many things, I'm sure it's very impressive to witness. Those gardens don't weed themselves, after all!

[And he pleasantly nods along with Mettaton's talk of a new album, whatever a "concept album" is. He'll buy it, of course, and he'll love it, per usual, even if he has no idea what it is.]

Right, the human!

[His friend.

Nope!! No need for frowns on this date!!]

Hmm?

[Hold onto him? Oh, there's a lot of water around here. As a robot, Mettaton probably shouldn't get wet. Well then!]

Of course!

[And with that, he gladly tries to pick up Mettaton to carry him bridal style across the deeper parts of Waterfall's puddles.]

[And surprisingly, even though Mettaton weighs a metta-TON, he's surprisingly light! Right now! Even Papyrus is a little taken aback how easy it is to carry the robot across the deeper water.]

All that training with Undyne must have paid off! I feel a lot stronger right now!!

[LOOK AT HOW EASY IT IS TO CARRY IS MAYBE?BOYFRIEND!! He feels so triumphant.]

[Honestly, it's a shame Papyrus never questions the album further. Mettaton would love to explain it. Concept albums. It's like... a concept, man. All the ideas are down, but only in concept. It's very fascinating! And apparently very popular on the surface!

Humans sure know how to make things interesting.

But oh! He's being picked up!!]

Oh! [Not what he meant, not what he meant!! He was going to stretch his arm across and pull them along like he'd seen that cartoon robot do, but now--

Papyrus would have broken something if he doesn't, so the robot floats. Literally floats in order for the skeleton to "pick him up". It's a trick most ex-ghosts retain and one he doesn't like to use without disguising it as just flame boosters, but for Papyrus' sake...]

Haha! You... sure are strong! What great big muscles you have.

[ Maybe he'll ask more about the concept album over dinner!!!!!!! ]

I know, I work out every day!

[ Oh, is that what Mettaton planned? Well, Papyrus sure didn't pick up on that, and is now gracefully wading through water with Mettaton in his hands. Kind of. It almost felt like he wasn't even there. Further proof of how much he's worked out!! Soon enough they're back on dryish land, and Papyrus 'carefully' puts Mettaton back down to his feet. ]

There you go, nyeh heh heh!!

[There's a thunk when MTT's heels hit the ground, almost like he's gone back to weighing a metta-ton.

He pats Papyrus on the shoulder and offers another kiss on the cheek.]

My hero saves me again.

[Ah, now it's time to wade through grass. Suddenly, Mettaton remembers why he never takes the scenic route in Waterfall anymore. At least he can link arms again. That's romantic!]

You know, Alphys actually has all this grass under protection? She says its for scientific research, but I know her. She's making [hair flip, this is such a great word] gelato. I could ask her for some, if you want.

O-Oh! W...well, I... Ahem! Yes! I did!

[ EYEBALLS HAVE MAGICALLY APPEARED IN HIS HEAD WITH HOW SHOCKED HE IS AT BEING KISSED ON THE CHEEK this is the greatest moment of his life, right here. Except maybe it was second greatest, because being Captain of the Royal Guard was pretty great. Also he got to pet a dog the other day, and that was amazing- wait, shit, no this is not the time.

Linking arms and walking again with Mettaton, they continue. ]

That sounds wonderful! I would love some!!

...

What's gelato?

Edited 2016-01-13 04:16 (UTC)

[It's so nice not to be the one falling over himself anymore. It's amazing what confirmation on your attractiveness and charm can do for you!

At least this patch of grass is short. Now it's to the least effective puzzles ever. Ignoring the water blossoms of whatever they were called, Mettaton opts to wait at the edge so they could leap over the gap together.]

Ahaha! Oh, sugarskull, it's just a fancy way to say ice cream. [No, it's really not, but nice try, MTT.] There's so much about human culture I have to teach you! You need to know these things if we're going to be DATING, after all. You're great, but life isn't worth anything if you don't inspire to be GREATER.

[Well, keep charming the pants off of him (even though he is not wearing pants) and he'll certainly be more embarrassed than Mettaton at this rate.

Oh right, this place. This sure was an easy puzzle literally anyone could just step right over! Except maybe Sans, but he had his own way of doing things. Anyway, since it's such an easy place to go through, he figures he won't need to pick up Mettaton this time, and instead they'll simply leap over the little streams of water. You know, the jimpity jumpity joodle.]

Oh, is it??

[Not like he would know the difference.]

Right! Of course, please educate me in human culture as much as you can! I want to know everything there is to know!

[Even if they aren't true things!!]

I always aspire to be greater every day!!! That's almost my life motto!! Except phrased a little differently.

[They're both ready. Initiate the limpity lompity leap! It's romantic?]

Where to even BEGIN? The surface is different and amazing... Did you know they don't try to hinder their own progress with puzzles? They actually encourage travel without it! I know it's a controversial concept down here, but that's why the MTT Resort prides itself on its lack of puzzles!

[And another jump. Honestly, who was this puzzle even supposed to challenge? The littlest tiniest babies?

At least from here, it's to the wishing room. That's actually where the robot wanted to go.]

They... don't like puzzles in their way, at all?

[ This was not only mind boggling, but deeply upsetting to someone who is a self-proclaimed master puzzler. Infact, even hearing that the MTT Resort doesn't have any- ]

Do... you not like puzzles, Mettaton?

[ If humans didn't like them, and Mettaton wants to emulate humans as much as possible, it only stands to say that there's an obvious answer here. And the obvious answer is one that would cause Papyrus' eternal smile to fade, just enough to be noticable. ]

[Ah! The wishing room! Of course, none of its fake stars shined quite as brightly as the star on Papyrus' arm, but it was so romantic nonetheleeeeeeeeeeee what is he asking?

Oh... this must be what the humans called a "loaded-question". Like "does this dress make me look fat" or "how many bullets did you say you brought with you".

Sans said to be honest. Sans said it worked for Alphys. If this does not work, it is Sans' fault and no one else's and he is a dead skeleton.]

No, not really. They were... [Pointless? Never an issue? When he was a ghost, he'd just float right through them and never think much of it.] Never challenging to me. Of course, that isn't to say I don't enjoy inflicting puzzles on others as a source of entertainment for any of my wonderful programs!!

It's just. When someone has already gone through anywhere from 12 to 37 puzzles on the way to my resort, they probably don't want another one to get their room. [That there are no keys for and lock electronically behind you. Hey, he's still working on it.]

Oh, okay. I guess since you can fly away from all your problems, a puzzle wouldn't be too much fun to bother with.

[It's ... a little disappointing, but at the same time, is it right to expect Mettaton to love all the same things he did?]

I can understand keeping the Resort puzzle-free! After all, I don't puzzle-rig my house!

[Mostly because Undyne hated visiting when she had to solve a sliding puzzle to open the door. Seems like honesty worked, after all! Good job, Mettaton!! Maybe now he can be honest about the rest of- who are we kidding.

And here they are in the wishing room! It's really nice in here. It feels... hopeful. You know, for being a wet, dark cavern.]

I love this room!

[ Why do they all refer to different parts of the underground as rooms? Who knows. They all do it. What is wrong with Monsters? ]

Don't you?

[Sans lives to pun another day.]

I do.

[Sigh. Being real is hard.]

...you know. Be...fore I was the Star of the Underground, I'd actually spend a lot of time in here. They're just so... inspiring. They aren't even real stars and look how much hope they give everyone! All of monsterkind entrusts their wishes and dreams to these beautiful, glimmering stars. I promised myself when I made my dreams come true, I'd be the one inspiring everyone. I'd be the one holding all their wishes and dreams.

[He knew he lost sight of that. Frisk was good enough to remind him, but that didn't erase all the hurt he'd done. But what's the point of dwelling when you can get better?]

So. What dreams of yours can I make come true?

Which dreams of mine...?

[ Well, he's got a lot of dreams!! He's already accomplished the Royal Guardsman one, so... the others...? Well. He wants to have a car and feel the wind in his hair while he drives (well within the speed limit) on a long highway! He wants to own a store- that sells fire! Because everyone needs fire. He also wants to be able to wear so many pairs of hotpants, all at once.

Basically, if it's a thought that sounds good for more than two seconds, it's a dream of his. ]

Well! You're making one of them come true right now!! I've always wanted to go on a date with a sexy robot!!

[That's...

That's so cute.

He's covering his mouth and doing that awful laugh again. How exceedingly simple!]

I'm glad I can grant it, sugar.

[Sigh. It's nice--being arm in arm with someone he admires as much as himself and watch the fake stars glimmer.

One day he'll see the real ones, but, for now...]

Ready to get going? We still have a great dinner ahead of us!

[ Mettaton's horrible dorky laugh is pretty great. It sounds like someone's sharply inhaling air the wrong way. ~~How can I NOT fuck him.~~ ]

Right! Yes, I am!

[ And then they fast-travelled to the Resort?? ]

[~~8 legs. 4 hotpants. :O~~

And then it was back to their adventure! There was a little more carrying and pronounced avoidance of Blook Family Farms. Mettaton even showed Papyrus his favorite trick to play with echo flowers.

But they were at the resort all to soon. This was it. The sight of his own, beautiful statue should not be filling him with dread as he led his date to the restaurant doors, but here he was! Dreading!! What if it was too fancy? What if it wasn't fancy ENOUGH? What if he hated the food? Or was insulted that Mettaton wasn't eating with him? What if he accidentally dipped his hand in their wine and set himself on fire??? What if he went to join the person playing the piano to serenade his crush and the piano player was Sans? What if...

He opens the doors. Oh no. Oh no. It looks like a royal wedding mixed with Hogwarts in here. There are balloons and crystals and fountains and rose-pedals and candles everywhere. They actually found the champagne fountain. Oh god.]

...W-well, beautiful!

[There are no more words. Just a nervous vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.]

[ The echo flower trick was hilarious. There were tears in his eyes, somehow, with how hard he was laughing at the high pitched screeching coming from such a small flower. He's definitely going to have to show it to Undyne, she would think it was amazing.

In fact, Papyrus even tries to get them to go up towards Undyne's house, if only to say hi- but Mettaton doesn't seem to want to go anywhere near there for some reason, and Papyrus agrees that it'd be pretty off track for their date to go visit a friend. Anyway!!

Here they are!! At the hotel-slash-resort-slash-restaurant! He's never been inside himself, but...

... Uh.

Wow it... looks... a lot different than he imagined a resort would. ]

...

It's...

Interesting!!

[ He doesn't let his unsureness show for longer than those initial few seconds. Since he's never been here, it probably always looks like this, as far as he knows. Champagne fountains. Uh... sure!! Just as long as he didn't drink. Hooooo boy. Definitely no drinking on a date. Even though Mettaton already knows what he looks, and acts like, when smashed... it's probably not a good idea. ]

I really like the rose petals! It reminds me of that movie you starred-in-slash-directed!!

[Oh no. oh no, papyrus hates it and, by extension, him and this is it, papyrus is going to leave and mettaton is going to die. Here lies Mettaton, loved by all and no one. He bequeaths his collection of diaries to Grillby so he may set them on fire and

...oh.]

Oh! Y-yyess, thank y-you!! [His voice is glitching. It's not very flattering, but he's dragging his date to a table anyway. Right in front of the piano! Perfect!] I w-wwwwas [STOP.] hoping you'd feel that way! You of all people can appreciate my aesthetic. Hahahaha!

The chef is already preparing our meals, so why don't we just sit and listen to this beautiful mu...

[No one is on the piano. No one is...

He's going to scream.]

W-why don't I just p-play you something, beautiful???

[ Wow, that's some sounds he's never heard Mettaton make before? Was he overheating? Or crashing or something robots do? Who knows, he's not a technogeek with a spreadsheet!!!! ]

Okay!!

[ Just lets himself get his boney ass dragged around to a table, sat down, and watch Mettaton nervously try to act as if it was his plan all along to play the piano. ]

I didn't know you could play piano! I only knew you were very skilled at lounging on them. Sure, I'd love to hear it!

sans entrapment

no subject

no subject

i can stop you. by not reply!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo my one weakness

1/2 as i wait for your answer on plurk before i tag with the rest

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject