Fuck You I'm a Dragon Meme

[mothertrucker]

<sub>Dragons have always been and will always be popular. Everyone loves dragons.
If somebody tells you they don't love dragons, they're either lying or wrong.
Nearly every culture features dragons and so do thousands of movies, books, and tv shows.
But sometimes, sometimes those medias DON'T have dragons. It's time to fix that.

Play your favorite dragon or AU your character as the fire-breathing terror lizard they were always meant to be!</sub>




DRAGON GENERATOR
Need some dragon PBs? We got that.
Make you a goddamn dragon.

DRAGON RNG
Also works for non-dragons.

DRAGON PROMPTS
Try to specify if you're playing a dragon or non-dragon and what kind of interaction you'd like but you could also not. I'm not the boss of you. Live your dreams, you beautiful motherfuckers.

1. What was that noise? Protect your hoard from nasty little hobbitses!
2. Time to kidnap some princesses (or princes!)
3. Burninate the countryside. Burninate the peasants. Nobody can stop you. Or can they?
4. Your character wasn't a dragon before, but now they suddenly are. GOOD.
5. All good things must come to an end. You are the last dragon. What now?
6. Your dragon is trapped, injured, or ill! Will someone come to their rescue or finish them off?
7. You are a dragon and a dragon rider. Go have adventures!
8. You know what wins an argument? Fire.
9. Wizards and shit I don't know. Go oldschool fantasy AU.
10. Extra extra! Dragon in New York City! Drop your poor lizard into a world of technology! You aren't on your dragon turf anymore. Shit.
11. Maybe your dragon is good! Chase down some bullies for a nerdy little boy or something. Eat them.
12. There is a website called Bad Dragon for a reason.
13. A super serious dragon war is happening.
14. Maybe your dragon doesn't WANT to be a dragon. What a loser.
15. The crowd cheers as your opponent enters the ring. Are you the reigning champion or dragon chow?
16. Rush out the door with a half-chewed knight in your mouth! You're late for dragon school!
17. You sure do love humans, you wish they were real! You think about them all the time and even play a nerdy game called Highways and Humans. But one day you MEET ONE!!!
18. You've found a dragon egg and now it's hatching! This could be adorable or end horribly.
19. I literally can't think of anything else I'm so tired.

_{Please steal this dumb meme and enjoy it till your heart's content!}

Comments

[stabbywheelfeet]

[That tail whips around. Like a literal whip, moving to try and slap him upside the head while Sideswipe yowls and scrambles backward, hissing.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The long dragon lets out a honk of surprise as his shit is slapped. He wiggles backwards rapidly and snaps up the shield in his teeth. Only this time, as he disappears down the hole, he's holding the shield at the wrong angle and it becomes lodged against a rock right at the entrance.]}

Shit shit shit TIME OUT!

[stabbywheelfeet]

[There are no time outs in this game. Time outs are for babies. He darts forward, scrabbling around for the shield despite the fact he probably can't reach it.]

[He wants that damn shiny shield okay.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW has almost worked the shield free when a set of talons grabs hold of it. His head is yanked topside but he refuses to let go. He does, however, give Sideswipe an obnoxious grin around the shield.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Holding it in hand... that just means his head is free. For biting. Which he does -- biting at that smug grin.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The long dragon lets out a loud goose-like sound in surprise. He can do nothing to stop the bite and really, he's not sure if he wanted to in the first place. He's going to count this as a win. Finally he lets the shield go because as fun as this is, Sideswipe has a lot more biting power behind those jaws than he does and the grey dragon seems REALLY SERIOUS about this game.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[With the shield in his mouth, it's hard to crow in triumph. But he tries. He tries a lot. It comes out more as a gurgle. BUT A VICTORIOUS GURGLE. And then he's wrenching his head back, standing up on his back feet in a victory pose.]

[He hunkers down with the shield then, chewing at it like a cat with a mouse.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[Properly defeated, JW snakes his way out of the hole and doubles himself up to sit in front of Sideswipe and watch him gnaw on his prize. He doesn't understand why this other dragon is...eating it...instead of admiring himself in its reflection but.]}

So you like it?

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Because minerals are good for scales and potential offspring that's why. You can blame his dragon doctor parent for drilling that one into his head. But he pauses in gnawing on it long enough to peer up at the other dragon.]

... Do you have more?

[goldeneyeball]

Well yeah, I have tons of treasure. But you can't eat it. Treasure isn't for eating! It's for gazing upon and wallowing in.

_{[REALLY. Some dragons.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

My parents eat it.

[So there. He flicks his wings indignantly, even.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW puffs out a small cloud of foul-smelling smoke from his nose. An ore eater. Of course. He's going to have to compromise a little if his stupid daydreams of this bold silvery dragon grooming his mane with those wicked teeth are going to become a reality.]}

Wait here...my cave doesn't exactly have a guest entrance.

_{[Because he's awful and lives alone. The olive dragon disappears down one of the many holes dotting the cliff but soon enough returns with a small wooden chest in his jaws. When he drops it, it falls open, scattering old swords, golden cups, and strings of jewels across the sand.]}

This once belonged to the mayor of a small town. When I ate him, the townsfolk were so thankful, they gave me this.

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Don't insult his parents, JW. If you ever want that dream coming true. Sideswipe is very attached to his father. Even if he won't actually admit it out loud.]

[He settles down to keep gnawing that shield while JW leaves, hissing to himself. Yes, this is a good shield. He will be so damn shiny after this, he'll look like a mirror. He only lifts his head when he sees the treasure spill out.]

[Then he's pouncing on a golden cup, practically purring.]

Good. Eat more mayors. Get more of this.

[goldeneyeball]

<sub>[SORRY as a dragon who was raised on table scraps, eating rocks just sounds dumb to him.]

[He tilts his head and watches Sideswipe munch away at the treasure. They're probably going to be here a while. The noodle dragon settles himself down and circles his neck around a couple of times so that he can drape it over his front feet.]</sub>

Tch, all the mayors around here cleaned up their act after that. Which is well enough. Guy gave me indigestion for a week.

[stabbywheelfeet]

[He has half of one cup chewed away by the time he looks up, gold flecking his mouth like glitter. His tail lashes pleasantly.]

Eating people, yeuch. That's only a last resort.

[And he sounds so smug about it too. Even smirking, before launching back into the treasure nomming.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The little sail that runs along JW's spine goes flat at that smirky smirk. You're lucky you're so good looking, you overgrown pewter figurine. He puffs out a few more dark clouds from his nose.]}

So, where you from? I've been all over this mountain side for years and I've never caught sight of your scales before.

[stabbywheelfeet]

[He doesn't appear to notice the disgruntled nature of the other dragon. He's too busy moving on to inhale some gems and coins. If at all possible, he will literally devour all this treasure.]

[And damn, he'll look pretty afterward. Among other things.]

Not here. The desert. That's where everyone else is. But I got bored.

[Is this an entire helmet???]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[Distractedly, JW reaches out for a coin and tries to crunch it between his teeth. The cringe runs from his head all the way to the tip of his tail before he spits it out.]}

I can imagine. A desert doesn't sound like it as a whole lot to look at.

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Like a snap, Sideswipe snatches it up in his claws, tossing it down like it's a shot of liquor. Where do you even put all that treasure, Sideswipe? He settles back down to the helmet again, resuming where he left off.]

No. Just lizards and camels and spiders.

My fathers are going to be so mad.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[That gets a grin to cross JW's long snout.]}

You can't let your old men boss you around. You're your own dragon.

[stabbywheelfeet]

... You haven't met the old buzzard.

[Seriously JW. Ironhide is more overprotective than Ratchet. And Ratchet was the "mother" in this nonsense.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[He arches his neck in what looks like an uncomfortable way so that he can rest his chin on his knuckles.]}

Just how old are you? What's he gonna do? Come drag you back by your tail?

[stabbywheelfeet]

I'm an adult.

[He huffs, and puffs up his chest.]

...

Actually, yes. He's done that before.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW frowns.]}

Soooounds like you might need to let 'em know that. Nobody bosses me around.

_{[JW, you don't have dragons for parents.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

Okay, sure. You go ahead and tell him that when he storms out here.

[The helmet is gone. He moves on to a pile of gems -- though it's a little more sluggish than before.]