bakerstreet | Fuck You I'm a Dragon Meme

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Fuck You I'm a Dragon Meme

_{Dragons have always been and will always be popular. Everyone loves dragons.
If somebody tells you they don't love dragons, they're either lying or wrong.
Nearly every culture features dragons and so do thousands of movies, books, and tv shows.
But sometimes, sometimes those medias DON'T have dragons. It's time to fix that.

Play your favorite dragon or AU your character as the fire-breathing terror lizard they were always meant to be!}

DRAGON GENERATOR
Need some dragon PBs? We got that.
Make you a goddamn dragon.

DRAGON RNG
Also works for non-dragons.

DRAGON PROMPTS
Try to specify if you're playing a dragon or non-dragon and what kind of interaction you'd like but you could also not. I'm not the boss of you. Live your dreams, you beautiful motherfuckers.

1. What was that noise? Protect your hoard from nasty little hobbitses!
2. Time to kidnap some princesses (or princes!)
3. Burninate the countryside. Burninate the peasants. Nobody can stop you. Or can they?
4. Your character wasn't a dragon before, but now they suddenly are. GOOD.
5. All good things must come to an end. You are the last dragon. What now?
6. Your dragon is trapped, injured, or ill! Will someone come to their rescue or finish them off?
7. You are a dragon and a dragon rider. Go have adventures!
8. You know what wins an argument? Fire.
9. Wizards and shit I don't know. Go oldschool fantasy AU.
10. Extra extra! Dragon in New York City! Drop your poor lizard into a world of technology! You aren't on your dragon turf anymore. Shit.
11. Maybe your dragon is good! Chase down some bullies for a nerdy little boy or something. Eat them.
12. There is a website called Bad Dragon for a reason.
13. A super serious dragon war is happening.
14. Maybe your dragon doesn't WANT to be a dragon. What a loser.
15. The crowd cheers as your opponent enters the ring. Are you the reigning champion or dragon chow?
16. Rush out the door with a half-chewed knight in your mouth! You're late for dragon school!
17. You sure do love humans, you wish they were real! You think about them all the time and even play a nerdy game called Highways and Humans. But one day you MEET ONE!!!
18. You've found a dragon egg and now it's hatching! This could be adorable or end horribly.
19. I literally can't think of anything else I'm so tired.

_{Please steal this dumb meme and enjoy it till your heart's content!}

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There's "different" and then there's ... "dumb".

_{[James flares his dinky little wings and the spines on his back stand on end again.]}

I DIDN'T PICK IT.

[Oh no, JW don't react. You're just going to make Sideswipe want to do it more.]

But still! Out of all the names! You have a human one!

_{[His tail winds behind him like a distressed snake as he tries to come up with a good comeback. Instead of words, he reaches out to snatch up a small emerald that was still within gobbling range of the silver dragon and cradles it close to his shallow chest. SO THERE.]}

[Sideswipe lifts his head and returns that hissing with one of his own, inching forward in a crouch.]

[And then reaching forward to bat at it like a cat.]

_{[JW bunches up over top of the emerald with all his quills and coils and lets out a loud ugly sound not unlike that of a seagull slowed down about four times.]}

There's plenty more where this comes from but you're not getting so much as a pearl unless you lay off my name!

Fine!

[He hisses it back, bobbing back and forth to try and get in closer to the gem. Dammit, no, he needs that. It doesn't matter that his insides are rattling like a piggy bank.]

[He wants that one gem in particular.]

_{[It's only then that JW notices the noise. He lifts a brow ridge and tries to puzzle out where it's coming from while still keeping the emerald out of Sideswipe's reach. The end of his tail snakes around and jabs experimentally at the silver dragon's stomach. Wow that sure is a thing.]

[He snorts. Then he starts snickering, losing his grip on the jewel.]}

Are you sure you need this?

[Oh JW. No one ever warned you about clawed animals lying on their backs, did they?]

[At the poke, it's like a steel trap snapping shut. Sideswipe jerks up, bringing back legs and forelegs up to latch onto that offending tail, biting at it. Five of his six ends are pointy when he lies like that, didn't you know?]

Shut up!

_{[JW lets out another loud seagull squawk and freezes up instantly. No more poking!]}

So you can dish it, but can't take it. Alright.

No! That's just -- that's not for you to poke!

_{[He tugs on his tail knowing he isn't going to get it back unless Sideswipe lets it go but that is part of his spine and he NEEDS THAT.]}

Sure, fine, your piggybank is off limits, let go. Here.

_{[He shoves the emerald toward him.]}

[He hisses again. He doesn't let go of the tail until the emerald is well within reach. And then he pounces on the gem, ignoring the tail completely.]

You don't get to touch it until you put a ring on it.

_{[At that, he only blinks.]}

Isn't that a human thing? How would you get a ring on over your wings?

You don't put it on your wings, you put it in one. Of course. That way, it heals over and you can't take it out again.

See?

[Sideswipe not everyone knows your weird dragon society traditions okay.]

_{[JW scratches at what he can reach of his neck with his front foot.]}

Oh. I was imagining you wearing some kind of golden Forever Belt.

That makes me sound like a dog, and I am way too gorgeous for that.

[He puffs up again, flicking his wings all disdainful like.]

_{[JW's eyes flick over to the movement. Big wings. Hnngggg.]}

That you are.

[He cocks his head to one side, before flicking his wings again. More slowly.]

_{[The olive dragon quickly turns his head and presses his own tiny wings flat against his back. He almost wishes he didn't have them at all.]}

Welp, it's getting late.

_{[It's noon.]}

[Pause.]

[Blink.]

What, are you nocturnal or something?

_{[JW shuffles his front feet awkwardly and turns to start the long process of slithering all two and some schoolbusses of himself down into his cave.]}

Yup! Past my bed time!

...

Well that's just lame.

[Not moving, nope.]

_{[His voice echoes from below.]}

I can't hear you! I'm sleeping!

Fine. I'll just go home. And never come back to your mountain.

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