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Atonement is, in your eyes, a Sisyphean task. You'll never be able to redeem yourself, no matter if what you did was against your will and only allowed you to survive in a cruel world. Who could understand what you've done or think you could be forgiven when it comes to all your friends? Certainly you never believed redemption, so far away already, could come in the form of a person...or a romantic relationship.
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