bakerstreet | The Texts From Last Night Meme

The Texts From Last Night Meme

the TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT meme

1. post with your character and their name/canon/pref in the subject.
2. either post with a TFLN or just wait for someone.
3. respond to people's texts or tag them with your own.
4. SHENANIGANS.
5. have fun!!

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If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?" It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"

Just talked to Teto. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.

I saved myself a memo titled 'cake' and all it says is 'I love it so much'. ヾ(´･･｀｡)ノ"

this all bein a mass text brothers
ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE MOTHERFUCK I AM?
:o?

Edited 2012-01-15 12:40 (UTC)

-a guy finally used a line that wasn't a fire pun. i think i have to sleep with him on principle.-

My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days

Why am I wearing your shoes? They're kind of hideous.

new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made Rin help me look for it for 2 hours.

sick fucks of a feather flock together.

You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

ill call him whatever I please
including flaccid dick on forehead guy
but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

im sitting in the corner of the bar with a pool stick in case a brawl breaks out
some crazy shit is going down and im trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock

I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this

I guarantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.

I chugged a 8eer while I was riding him, and he told me it was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. This 8oy knows class when he sees it.

A lesson I learned in the hospital... When you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

No, i don't care what u think. I am not dressing as a dog so you can jerk off to it.

D --> She just 100ked down there
D --> And said, "I breed hoofbeasts
D --> This is better than anything I've ever seen"

how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time

When humans say 'stick shift', it's not what you think it means.

After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?

Edited 2012-01-15 19:16 (UTC)

There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs

He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.

does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?

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Nekomura Iroha | Vocaloid

no subject

Hatsune Miku (Curiosity Core) | Vocaloid Portal AU

Gamzee Makara ♑ Homestuck ♑ Aged up

no subject

no subject

Dr. Irabu | Kuuchuu Buranko

Emi Ibarazaki | Katawa Shoujo

Frank Castle (Punisher) | Marvel 616

Cornelia li Britannia | Code Geass

Dave Strider | Homestuck

no subject