Dear fangirls;

[theinfamous1412]

Ever have something you wish you could say to your fangirls? Well now you can! Post whatever you'd like to about those ladies, doesn't matter if it's flattering or downright rude.

Sometimes you just gotta get it off your chest.

1. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR COMMENT BLANK
2. Start with 'Dear Fangirls/fanboys'
3. Comment to others with sympathy or laugh at their misfortune.
4. PROFIT.

Comments

[theinfamous1412]

Dear Fangirls,

While I adore your continued support and love I would like to point out that many of you have made a grievous mistake in some of your theories. You see, I have not ever been romantically involved with anyone- this includes and is by no means limited to;

Hakuba Saguru
Kudo Shinichi
Hattori Heiji
Edogawa Conan

The fact that I even have to mention that last one is quite... worrying.

Thank you all for your time and I look forward to seeing you all at my next Heist.

♥

[topsseifer]

Isn't he like still in diapers or something? Man, I feel you. Rad monocle by the way.

[arealgem]

Dear Fanboys (and girls AND Winchesters),

I am not gay.

I was not having great lesbian sex with Lilith while conspiring against the world.

In fact, working for that bitch was horrible.

Glad we could clear this up, if I hear it again I'm going to start cutting throats, one fan at a time.

Sincerely,
Ruby

[xx_deathstarwolffox97_xx]

im suuuuuure you can find it in yourself to luuuurve if you just try though!

u to could have so much fun slittng throats together!

[brewglory]

Dear Fangirls / fanboys (?),

To whom it may concern,

- It is not silky as kitten fur. It's excessively oily, and I insist all attempts to make me more presentable cease and desist immediately.

- I do not simply need the tenderness and care of a good woman (or man) to turn me into an acceptable romantic, doting life partner. My mundane has made the attempt. It turned me into a paternalistic, paranoid, obsessed git in a dissonant and controlling relationship.

As one might imagine it would.

I am not a Lothario.

- I am not married to anyone on the astral plane. I have never been to the astral plane, and if I were there, I would not marry a harem of women I have never met.

- My nickname is not now, nor has it ever been 'the Slytherin sex god'.

- I am not interested in my students. Full stop.

- I am not Harry Potter's lover. I would hang myself first. Neither am I his father.

- I am not engaging in sexual conduct with Lucius Malfoy. Lucius is relatively happily married to an attractive witch of the finest calibre. If he tried anything of questionable propriety with that cane of his, I would hex him on sight.

I find these assumptions about my character and activities insulting. Allow me to assure you: insulting the sensibilities of an ex-Death Eater is in no way a mean feat.

- S. Snape.

[chaoschildofgod]

You probably should have added 'not a closet crossdresser'. Then again, the person thinking it over here is not quite a fangirl, just... A very strange girl.

[aboot]

DEAYUH FANBOYS AND FANGIRLS

THERE HAVE BEEN MANY ASSUMPTIONS REGARDING THE INTEGRITY OF MY COMRADE PHILLIP AND I AND IT IS ABOOT TIME WE CLEAR THIS UP ONCE AND FOR ALL!

THE ONLY OPENING WHICH I HAVE EVER PRESENTED TO MY PARTNER IN A SEXUAL MANNER WAS WHEN I FARTED THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IN HIS MOUTH ONE FRUITFUL EVENING.

THIS FART WAS PROMPTLY FOLLOWED BY A POO WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A MUCH GRANDER FART WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A MUCH GRANDER POO. I BELIEVE IN THAT EVENING, I ACHIEVED THE WORLD RECORD OF POOING AND FARTING IN ANOTHER MAN'S MOUTH.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOYALTY AND UNDERSTANDING

YOURS TRULY

TERRANCE

[oot]

TRUE STORY

[wearyheadtorest]

Dear Fangirls/Fanboys,

He's my brother, that's sick.

Get the hell out of here with this,
Dean Winchester

+1

[saved]

[aviophobia]

Dear fangirls (and fanboys),

No. Whatever you're thinking, whatever you're thinking about thinking, whatever ideas might be a gleam in your eye.

No.

Stop that.

- Dr. L.H. McCoy

[captaincocksure]

No more fanfiction, then, huh?

[/trollface.jpg]

[captaincocksure]

Dear Fangirls and Fanboys,

The only place I put socks is on my feet.

Just pointing that out.

&etc,
Captain James T. Kirk

[aviophobia]

And here I thought I'd go all day without throwing up.

[the_new_sexy]

Fangirls:

You repel me.

[thedominatrix]

But the fanboys are fine?

[ferries]

Dear fangirls,

My, you are a creative bunch, aren't you? Keep up the yaoi featuring members of a certain team good work!

Love,
Botan

[xx_deathstarwolffox97_xx]

finally someone who appreciates meeeee ;u; ur my favorite 5ever!!!!

(｡≧◡≦｡)

[nharmonic]

Dear fan people,

I'm very flattered, but I think you're expecting too much from me socially. I've barely even learned how to have friends yet. I certainly can't initiate a romance.

Yours,
N Harmonia.

PS: The exception to my being flattered is "Harmoniashipping". Stop doing that IMMEDIATELY.

[xx_deathstarwolffox97_xx]

it's okay u can skip all the boring romancing stuff if you want

just jump black's bones already. u know u want to ;)

[arc_wrench]

Announcement: Fangirls:

I think I have spotted one of you.

Request: Please move one point three meters east. It will place you directly in front of the window. I have a surprise for you.

[ruthless_hunter]

Taking 'em out just means more of you for Lockdown.

[ruthless_hunter]

Hey fangirls,

Keep setting me up with Prowl, that's some fun slag right there.

To those who think I need to "mend my ways" or keep insisting I ain't such a bad mech after all, c'mere and meet my flamethrower. Also, if I had myself a protoform, I'd just as sooner sell it for fuel credits.

[xx_deathstarwolffox97_xx]

u have goodness inside ;u;

its okay u dont have to be afraid to admit it we luv youuuuuu~

[consultmybooks]

Dear, um, "fangirls",

I question your mental well being, good sense, and basic decency to ever believe that I would pursue a romantic relationship with any of my friends. Most particularly Buffy and Dawn. Might I remind you that I have needed to be physically held back from anyone with the audacity to suggest otherwise?

To those of how holding less fond opinions of me, I have met a great many Romanians more capable of writing in a British style. At least our languages are on the same spectrum. It's embarrassing when I find myself sounding like the adolescent girls who attempt to write me.

[lastfencer]

Sounds like you've got a real stick up your ass, old man. Live a little.

[creidim]

Dear fangirls and fanboys,

I've noticed there's a lot of.. fiction out there of me doing... well, sexual things with my friends. Ginny, Hermione and Harry - in particular.

While I'm all for creativity, and it's very flattering to know I'm liked - I'd like to remind you all that they are all my friends. I only feel that way for them and only ever will.

The amount of writing and the sort of well, detail, you do with me and them is starting to get a little worrying and I'd appreciate it very much so if you would stop.

Love,

Luna Lovegood.

[astounding]

[Oh dear. He didn't see Luna or wouldn't have mentioned her.]

That is most unfortunate, Miss Lovegood.

[knows_better_than_that]

Dear Fangirlies,

Thanks a bunch, but your sugary type snacks make my teeth hurt and give me a headache. Not like I need 'em anyway. I'm just always like this. You really think I'd munch on weird human snacks to give me a pick me up when a bit of flyin' would do just as well?

Also, I'm just as likely to knock yer block off as give anyone a hug. I like me mates just as much as anyone, but there's no call to be goin' soft around 'em. They knew that when they met me - a slap on the back means just the same, right?

Oh, and Touya's great an' all, but I like 'em a bit taller than that. And a bit less icey, o' course.

[pretty_little_liar]

Dear Fan-people,

I wouldn't like to point some things out to you.

First, I wasn't simply made recently. Not to mention I clearly was onlined with every concept of how to 'interface' with others.

Next, I simply adore my fellow clones, really I love them all. Especially Sunstorm, I enjoy every moment of his simpering complements that obviously aren't over exaggerated in the least.

As for that mech who clearly isn't my creator, Starscream, I have always wanted to touch him so intimately, really.

I have no thanks for you reading this,
Not Ramjet

[lastfencer]

So you robots are touching each other intimately? To each their own, I guess.

[angeoudemon]

[Le sigh.]

Dear... ladies. [Yes, because he knows there are more girls than boys who think so.]

My comrades.
My Goddess.
My brother. [Emphasis on the last one.]

I hope it is clear enough.

Gemini Saga.

[lamb_of_gold]

My sympathies.

[naive_messenger]

Ignorant humans,

Angels do not have sex.

[angelbob]

Wanna bet?

[silverbellchild]

Dear Fangirls/fanboys,

Leave my brother ALONE!

~Mary Weather Hargreaves

[incesteyes]

Post-script:

Also please leave Riff alone. We are appalled by the amount of penny-dreadful murder-of-prose written about us.

Thank you, dear Mary Weather.

[astounding]

Dear fangirls/boys,

I died as a happily married man. I married her because I loved her, not because she was related to Sirius and he was dead so she was "the next best thing." If you would like to know much more than that about what sort of "love" I had for Sirius Black, I would like to point that Dora and I had a child and it makes two to do so. I did not die while overwrought with emotion from schoolboy experimentation that I never grew out of, crying in the corner.

Nor did I assault my wife, nor did she trap with me a love potion, nor was I under the Imperius Curse during the wedding. Yes, Teddy is my child. No, she did not cheat, nor did I refuse her. These things happen.

The students you refer to as "The Golden Trio" are all children I am proud to have watched grow and hope to have imparted something of worth and merit along the way. The pictures and the "fics" are really quite nauseating in most regards. The rest of the students are the same way, though not as fiercely as Hermione, Ron, and Harry. I am as unlikely to leave Dora and run off with Luna Lovegood as Hermione is to become Severus' housewife.

I would mention something about Severus and I, but you can refer to how I loved Sirius and muck up the words to make the point a bit clearer. The same goes for Lucius Malfoy and the other "named" Death Eaters. "Hate sex" is not something I would ever entertain, thank you.

Chocolate is excellent for changing one's mood, I do not have some sort of obsession past that.

I don't think I missed any other big things, so

Sincerely,
Remus J. Lupin

[fallenforlove]

It saddens me that they clearly do not know the love between human beings as it is expressed between a husband and his wife.

In that, at least, you and I have something in common.

[sightbeyondsight]

Dear...fangirls? And fanboys, I guess. [He's new to this whole "fandom" thing.]

It's great that you're drawing us, but...do you really have to draw things that make Tygra and I look like a couple? I mean, yeah, we aren't related by blood, but we still call the same cat "father". We pretty much grew up together as brothers. So, to be honest, it's...really weird.

And when he said he was going to "ring my bell" I'm pretty sure he didn't mean anything...you know. Like that.

Sincerely,
Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats

[purrloins]

Like what, Lion-O?

[I AM 8 AND WHAT IS THIS???]

[pervertedness]

DEAR FANGIRLS AND FANBOYS OF THE CHARMING AND SEXY SHIGUMA RIKA:

Rika know the series Rika is in has a lot of delicious doujinshi full of x-rated material involving fellow club members and sometimes questionable, scary men, but Rika has a request! So listen up here, fans of Shiguma Rika! Rika wants to set a quota of doujinshi and eroge games centered around her! Let your imagination run wild! Have Rika be the heroine in a mecha franchise and her true love Kodaka-sempai battle against earth and aliens in order for them to finally meet in person after years of being trained and told to kill each other! Make the love scene they have have mechas, missiles, and explosions go off as they both climax together and erupt in showing all their pleasure and-

UNIVERSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Thinking about such things makes Rika so excited and wet down there! Rika can barely contain herself thinking about such erotic adventures that could happen, and that's why Rika's fans need to get to work and draw, write, create, and share all things erotic about Shiguma Rika!

[glaringproblem]

You're worse than any of them, you know.

[sweet_riiiiims]

Dear fan fleshlings,

While yes I'm well aware what happens during my confidential doctor-to-patient sessions, I would appreciate it if it was kept confidential.

...unless you preferred I made a house call. And trust me, there are no benefits.

[littlebot_blue]

[Enter a naive gunner who has no idea what Knockout's really talking about.]

Wow, your fans actually spread that kinda stuff around? That's...I don't really know what to say about that. I mean, isn't that sort of violating doctor-patient confidentiality?

[Oh Primus, Blue. Pleas just stop right now. You're making it worse.]

...Why would anyone even be interested in that stuff anyway? I mean, I've helped Ratchet file medical reports before, and it gets really boring after the first few kliks, let me tell you.

[BLUE, BABY NO! You're giving the entire internet Knockout the wrong impression!]

[headedforhope]

Dear fangirls, fanboys, and fans in general:

Kindly don't put me on a pedestal. I know I encouraged that sort of behavior with Miki-san and Kaname-san - but as the audience, you should know better. "If only Mami were here"....isn't really something one should spend time wondering about.

Unlike my mun, I'll never find "head jokes" funny. Considering the circumstances, that should come as no surprise. Please stop making light of what happened to me.

[...clears throat.] The problems with involving me romantically with any of my fellow magical girls (or Witches, or Kyuubey) should be self-evident enough to not need elaboration.

Sincerely,
Mami Tomoe.

[peachhat]

Yes, I agree, shipping you with your fellow magical girls would be rather heedless of them.

[sandwormie]

Um... fans?

My uncle's not abusive. We don't always get along, yeah, and I guess that gets worse when I get older, but he does love me and he wants to look out for me. And I love him. I don't like doing the chores or whatever that much, but I do them.

They're just boring.