Love me tinder

[lovemod]

the tinder meme Maybe you can't find a date. Maybe you don't want to find a date. Maybe this whole thing was set up by your well-meaning friends, or your prank-playing enemies, or your over-involved mother. Whatever the reason, you're on a swipe-based dating system. Call it tinder, cuddlr, e-harmony but for shallow assholes... you're on it. What's the worst that could happen?

FORMATTING
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Comments

[excogitating]

Are you financially capable of taking care of a child in this hellscape?

[malibu_farmboy]

I'm financially capable of a lot of things! Not that I'm fixin' to brag about that on here, but since you're cuttin' to the chase...

[excogitating]

You still have money? Is it the currency that they are all using now? Because I found nearly 2 thousand dollars in prewar money and we used it for kindling. It looks like they are using the caps of Nukacolas for currency.

If you are irradiated, I ask that you stand sixty feet away. Actually, have you been on the surface the whole time? Is your sperm count okay? ... I'm starting to think... I think maybe I've changed my mind on anymore body horror changes, thank you anyway.

[malibu_farmboy]

...Look, not that I don't appreciate the abundance of caution and all, but you gonna let me give my safety credentials or not?

Short version: It's all about who ya know. Some artists were able to make a living postwar, clinch a space in the shelters, befriend other groups and switch communities when things got tense, get some *ahem* 'sponsorship' deals with Nuka, things like that.

[excogitating]

I'm still adjusting to the sliding scale of trust that is going on up here. I realized I mentioned my reproductive organs, I was just restating what I had wrote in my presentation to the Overseer's committee so long ago.

...what I'm saying is, maybe I shouldn't have posted that here.

[malibu_farmboy]

Your trust is still on a sliding scale? See, this is what I mean by saying you're not all jaded and hard-hearted. As for your reproductive organs, well I guess it's better you found that out through talkin' to me than...wherever else that mighta come up.

If you want, I'll still observe the 60-feet rule on the first date.

[excogitating]

Date? I-

Uh

I recently got out of a relationship. He tried to kill me, so I killed him first. Did you give me your name? I think I misunderstood the assignment.

[malibu_farmboy]

Welp! ...Again, glad we could work that out in conversation before things got really awkward on this app for ya. Whatever you wanna call our first meeting, I think maybe we can both agree on standing 60 feet apart for mutual safety?

So anyway, I'm Jim. And as far as I know, my reproductive organs are intact too.