bakerstreet | like it's hard?

[Oooh, a game? He loves games! And guessing games can be fun, even if this is...well.

Embarrassing, to put it mildly.

Byt let it be said that he never backed down from a challenge!]

Praise.

[Oh, Yugi. Yeah, this is definitely... a game! Guess it could be worse??]

Am I that easy to read?

[Because he sure is a sucker for being told he's doing a good job.]

[Oh, but Yuugi isn't much better. Look at how happy he is...

For a moment, until he turns away slightly, red-cheeked and embarrassed.]

A-a bit, yeah... but that's okay! There's um. Nothing wrong with that, you know?

[Oh boy... two blushing nerds. What a pair they make.

But hey, doesn't mean they can try to have a bit of fun, even if they're a bit embarrassed.]

Ah, that's true. I mean, it could be a good thing! That way if I ever find someone, they won't have to wonder what I like.

If you find someone, huh...

[Oop, those are twiddling fingers and eyes that can't reach Izuku's.]

Wh... whoever it is, they'd have to like telling you how amazing you are, right? Because I always thought you were really cool and strong. They'd have to think that, too.

Yeah, being a Hero is my main goal right now, so I don't exactly have a lot of time for romance.

[Poor clueless boy totally fails to notice Yugi's fidgeting, being so preoccupied with his own.]

O-Oh! Well, I-- I would really like that, yeah. But thank you! If I can say so, you're someone that's cool and impressive, as well!

[Ooop. That's a much deeper blush and more fidgeting. Did someone end up pinging Yuugi's own weakness for praise?]

Ah...haha, that's... thank you. That means a lot, coming from you.

A-after all, you're training to be a hero; that's amazing! You work so hard every single day!

[Yuugi's weakness: strong people.]

[They're so silly, honestly. Couple of dorky dorks.]

Hehe~ I do, but you've got such a sharp mind when it comes to games and strategy, I can't hope to compare! I'd like to be half as skilled as you one day.

[He's seen Yugi play and can't help admiring the way in which he gets out of tight situations.]

[The dorkiest!

Yuugi's eyes lit up and he spun around, hands moving and excited as he spoke.

You said the magic word, Izuku.]

You already have such a strategic mind, though! The way you analyze every situation and can break down your enemies' abilities is transferrable, you know?

You get better at games the more you play, and I know that you would give me a run for my money if we played anything together!

You can even consider it hero training, since a lot of these skills are transferable to the field!

[Oh no. You've got him started. Next thing you know he'll start designing games to help heroes train without putting them in harm's way--]

[They can dork together!

Uh oh, he's got him riled up, huh? Not that Izuku can go and say anything, given how he gets.]

That's a great way of looking at it...! We both analyze our situations and use the knowledge we've gleaned to overcome our opponents and other obstacles.

Maybe we could work together to create a game in which Heroes can train not just their bodies, but their minds as well...! Something to reward critical thinking and planning!

[Don't worry, Yugi, Izuku's right there with you! He's loving this idea!]

[Stars are practically glowing in his eyes, okay? S t a r s.

You said the magic words and it even involves collaboration! His favorite thing other than games!]

That's... that's perfect! And with this kind of game, it can both train future and current heroes and help keep them safe!

It can even have multiplayer components so that groups of heroes or students can work together and improve their teamwork! And since it's a game, they can have fun while doing it!

[Oh geez, he's bouncing on his heels. Look at how excited he is!]

[Two of kind, these two! Two of a kind!

What's better than games than working together with friends, after all!]

Yeah!! That'd be a great way to build camaraderie between everyone while honing their skills!

You're a genius, Yugi! Now we just need to work out the details...

[That's... gonna be the tricky part. Overexcited dweeb.]

[Yuugi reached out his hands, grasping Izuku's in his. No thought, just excited handholding.

Look, he did it with his friends all the time! Do you know how often Jonouchi put him in headlocks? His other friends hugged him?]

I wouldn't be able to pull this off without you, Izuku! Don't count yourself out! If I'm a genius, then you're magnificent!

[Aha. Details. Yes.]

I have a few game prototypes that I can customize into this sort of concept! Like I have one that's a VR Roguelike strategy RPG, but the roguelike elements can be switched out from fantasy elements and magic to quirks and things that heroes would face in the real world!

Like...consider a player having to work with their ability sets in order to deal with randomized challenges. A combat hero would have to use their abilities to solve rescue situations, and rescue heroes would have to be clever to use their less combat-oriented skills to deal with combat situations, and...!

[Ooops, he's off to the races.]

[Thankfully Izuku's just as excited and happy to hold hands!

They really are two of a kind, being a pair of excitable, good-hearted nerds who don't mind physical contact.]

O-Oh, wow, thank you...! That's high praise coming from you of all people! Can you imagine what we could accomplish together?

[Once they hash things out, hehe.]

Ooh~ That sounds brilliant--! Quirks are often compared to fantasy magic in old-school fiction, so that seems very fitting! We could even go up against some of the most common quirks or the ones of wanted villains to prepare for facing them...!

Yes, yes! It's exactly what we need to better hone our skills and make sure we're all well-rounded heroes capable of dealing with any situation that arises...! With your ability for planning and strategy, you could give those in the Support class a run for their money!

[There they go...]

Well, looks like tacos do it for you nowadays.

Funny. Why do you have such a hate boner for my shield, Barnes? Afraid you might actually like it?

Why the hell would I like it? It's a stupid shield.

Because it's a great shield.

It's a dumb shield. It's barely even a shield.

I think you should apologize to the shield, Barnes. You've been pretty relentless about it lately.

Please, like the shield can't handle a good bashing.

You still call it a shield, don't you? Then it can handle whatever I throw at it just fine.

Oh, it can handle it. But even the shield needs a break every now and then.

Really? Ain't heard of anything like that before. Steve's shield didn't need any breaks.

( are they really talking about shields still? who knows. )

This isn't Steve's shield. This is mine and I like to take it easy sometimes. [ they have never been talking about shields, bucky. keep up. ]

( amused, ) Speaking for the shield, are we?

( excuse you, he's still talking about shields. )

Well, I suppose you are the most familiar with that one in particular.

I mean, someone has to advocate for it. [ john shoots back with a smile. ]

If it didn't make me sound so goddamn pathetic I'd call it my best friend.

Jesus— ( that makes bucky laugh proper. )

I seriously hope not. You and Yelena are close, aren't you? Sorta.

( and bucky and john are getting there. gradually. almost out of the acquaintanceship and into the kinda friendship. )

[ john seems to puff up at bucky's laugh. yeah, he liked that. he'd like to make bucky laugh again, actually. ]

Yeah, she's... she's good like that. [ despite how vicious she can be, he knows she means well. he knows she cares. ]

My son is probably my best friend. [ he adds softly. ] But Yelena and the shield are close seconds.

Ah.

( there's a hint of a fond smile, though only just. ) That's sweet, actually.

...and I'm glad.

( he assumes it means he's at least working on fixing that relationship, maybe even the one with his wife. but certainly for his son, it's valuable, bucky thinks. and john deserves that, too. )

[ john's not getting olivia back. he knows that much but he can be in his sons life. ]

He deserves a dad that puts him first. [ john says, remembering the shame of bob's reminder. ]

Sometimes I think you must really like humiliation, as often you set yourself up for it.

I mean, not necessarily but... sure? [ he's just sort of had the worst happen and now everything else is... ez mode. ]

[it's honestly more of a jab than any actual serious suggestion, but his 'sure?' earns a small laugh.] Subjecting yourself to the military all those years, I'm sure they ingrained that whole 'sir, yes sir' thing into you real well too.

[once again, more of a poke than anything.]

You know, you got me there. I do like being told what to do. [ he says with a snap of his fingers on the first 'do'. john smiles and looks her up and down. ] By some more than others.

Ah, interesting. [and maybe not at all what she expected, because he certainly gave the first impression of being the one that wanted to call all the shots. which certainly ruffled against her preference to work solo, without answering to anyone.]

So if. I told you to drop, and give me twenty...

[ john's military. he knows what it means to take orders. he also knows what its like to give them and sometimes, he likes to give up control of that aspect. especially with a super hot woman not afraid to kick his ass. ]

I'd ask what's in it for me? [ well, he is still an opportunist and an asshole. ]

I'd let you take off one piece of my suit, of your choosing.

But only if you let me sit on your back while you do them.

...feel like ice cream has gotta be one now.

( well, not directly as such, but obviously he's reminded of. stuff. )

You know, I didn't expect it to be but... yeah, a little.

Yeah. ( a short laugh. ) Yeah, I get that.

( obviously. )

Knives've gotta be another one, right?

[ arousal stirs as she remembers the sticky sweetness of the memory. ]

Oh, obviously. I'm only human.

( a little messy, but everything just clicked. yeah, difficult not to have an association, now. )

Admittedly, I'm short on other ideas. We do keep it pretty vanilla. Not that I mind.

( like he knows shit about most kinks anyway. besides, lena is sweet, and he adores her endlessly. )

I like control. [ she says after a moment, meeting his gaze. ] I like to watch men on their knees beg me to fuck them.

We can try more, if you want. See what you like.

That. Can be arranged.

( he tries to offer a cheeky smile but it tinges slightly shy. )

I'd like that. If we tried more. I guess it never really mattered before, what I liked or not, so. So it feels kind of important. Knowing what I actually. Want. Right?

Do you want to beg me, James? [ yelena's movements are purposeful as she steps closer but very pointedly keeping space between them. ]

If you're a good boy, we can try anything you want. All you have to do is ask for it. [ she shifts again, from commanding to soft as she cups his face in her hands. ] Knowing what you want is the most important thing to me.

( he's biting he lip as soon as she takes a step, trying hard to hide his pleased and still shy smile. god, if she can't always read him perfectly...

as she softens, bucky turns to gently press a kiss to the palm of her right hand. )

Yeah. I know. ( gently. but then in his regular tone, ) You know I'll be good for you, dorogaya.

( which he barely manages without blushing, still blushing after a few beats pass. )

Edited 2025-05-22 03:21 (UTC)

[ bucky can be inscrutable sometimes and other times so obvious she wonders how he's made it this far. she loves this side of him though, open and vulnerable for only her.

the gentle hands at his face move up to his hair where she tugs softly. ]

On your knees. [ she says quietly, pulling down on his hair. ]

( that few are let so close is the answer. she's had the privilege of seeing his walls come down, even without choice at times when a particular nightmare rattles him to his core. but she's never left. many others would.

there's a quiet but pleased hum at the tug, a sharper bite against his lip as it blooms red. he fights off the urge to glance down and instead keeps his eyes locked on hers as he slowly kneels, hands ghosting along her sides reverently.

once in position he says nothing, instead remaining looking up, lips parted, as he awaits the next order. )

[ a thrill of gratification and arousal shoot through her as he slowly gets to his knees. yelena swallows hard.

one hand pulls at the back of his head, tilting it up to her. she takes him in; eyes wide and reverent, mouth open... her free hand grabs his chin, runs a thumb over his bottom lip. she leans in to kiss him and stops and whispers: ] Good boy.

[ her thumb lingers on his lip before she slides it into his mouth. ] Tell me what you want.

( he sighs with relief when her lips meet his, licking his lips immediately after to try and taste her only to catch her thumb. close enough. )

I wanna— ( huffing suddenly, head dipping slightly forward to try and stifle a shy laugh, he looks up again after a brief moment, trying to hide a smile. ) Um. I wanna kiss you again.

( ...yes, he knows, okay, he's bad at this cause he's a cheesy romantic, that's why he's trying not to laugh at how bad he is at this! )

[ yelena can't help but throw her head back and laugh. god, sometimes he's so fucking cute she can't handle it.

when she looks back down at him it's with an incredible tenderness. she nods her head. ]

Yeah, [ she says softly. ] We can do that.

[ yelena leans in again, placing a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth first and then on his lips. ]

( he chuckles to himself, pleased despite ruining the eroticism of the moment. when she leans back in, he's reaching up with is hands to hold her face fondly as he leans in to kiss her properly.

...well, thoroughly, rather, as he's using tongue and isn't being remotely coy about how much he loves kissing her deeply. maybe they can still get back on track, here. )

[ she really does like kissing him. there's something sweet and exploratory about it. she's never been kissed with such intent before bucky. her fingers relax in his hair, becoming gentle.

yelena indulges his kisses for several long moments, almost losing the thread of their conversation. she pulls away suddenly. taking a deep breath and looking down at him on his knees. ]

What else? [ she asks a little breathlessly. ]

[ previous cr or canon cr preferred as he's pretty uptight about sex in general. ]

( he stares for a good, unnerving few minutes before leaning back in his seat and saying casually, )

Bet you're a rope guy.

[ do you really think steve's at all affected by your stares, bucky? please. his words? definitely tho. definitely because steve almost instantly starts to sweat. ]

Ropes? For... what?

( he doesn't think you're affected. he just had to think on it for a while. )

For tying you up. What else?

I don't know, I... never thought about that. [ but he is now. ropes? i mean... ]

Well, what do you think, then?

( now that you're thinking about it, rogers. )

I'd... try it. W-with someone I trusted. I think. [ steve's looking down at the ground, cheeks burning. ]

Would you look at that blush, huh. Absolutely filthy. ( teasing. he tries not to look too pleased about it. )

Sounds like you'd like to just let someone else take the reins, though. When you trust them, I mean. Got a lot on your plate on the regular. Want a break from it.

Yeah, I get that.

Ah, shut the hell up. [ steve says with a laugh as he shoves bucky's shoulder. he's still blushing but the tension seems to release a little. ]

I mean... sure? I spent so long being helpless and then being relied on... I don't know. It might be nice.

( a laugh is expected with the shove, the grin hard to suppress. )

It's okay, I get it. Really. And hey, it's okay if you don't really know. We're just.

( he shoves steve's shoulder back lightly. )

We're just yappin', y'know? Let's see. What else is there... What about. Risky stuff? Like. Gettin' caught.

[ steve's nerves are amped up to 11 at the conversation and the touch and bucky. but he doesn't quite get why. he nods his head, trying to shake the anxiety. ]

Yeah, I know but... hard to get used to talking so freely about this stuff after how we were raised. [ at least, how he was raised. steve was never apart of the guys club. he was raised by his ma and never really had many friends past bucky. ]

Absolutely not. [ steve says with zero hesitation. the thought of it makes his skin crawl. hard enough being captain america as it is. ]

Hey, don't sweat it. We're pals, right? And all it takes is a lil practice. I ain't here to judge you one way or the other, y'know? ( which is easy to say, obviously, but as far as he's concerned, there really isn't anything to be worried about. steve's his best guy. that'll never change. ever. ) Just tell me if it's too much, and we can talk about anything else. Whenever.

( with how steve answered the last suggestion, he's more than fine with skipping past responding to it also, humming as he taps his chin playfully in thought and considers his next suggestion. )

Let's see, then. What about sensory deprivation? Blindfolds and such.

[ bucky seems to placate steve and he relaxes. sometimes he gets so on edge when they talk about this stuff and he doesn't know why. but bucky always seems to know how to calm him down. he smiles and nods his head. ] Thanks, Buck.

[ steve looks thoughtful and tries to imagine what it might feel like. he finds there's a small thrill at the thought, like it might be fun. he nods his head again. ] That... yeah, that could be interesting.

( hey, who knows you best? he'd never leave you hanging, no matter how uncomfortable anything might get. til the end of the line, right? )

So blindfolds specifically? What about earplugs? Where you'd hafta hear only yourself? ( ...he doesn't think it's a thing but these are his shower thoughts. that's just how it be. ) Or touch denial?

[ til the end of the line. ]

Blindfolds, yeah. [ he nods his head and then considers earplugs and makes a face. ] I don't know about that... Feel like havin' to listen to myself would just turn me off. [ steve says with a laugh. ]

W-what's touch denial?

( yeah, bucky isn't fond of the idea of only hearing himself either. he only wants to hear what he's doing to his partner. but alas. that's not how that works. )

It's twofold, I'd say. Touch denial in general, and then like. Never touching your dick. First layer is like, uh, well she's touching you real nice but stops. But you want more. Like really bad. Maybe she makes you beg for it or. Decides to wait a little after teasing.

Second layer is similar but when you're really needing some contact or your about to get off. Or you wanna get off, but she ain't letting you yet. It sounds kinda mean, but it's actually like release when she touches you, even if you aren't coming yet.

( #justcasualguytalkthings )

Oh. [ steve can feel himself getting warmer as bucky goes on. all of that sounds... very interesting. he feels a little shamed at the fact that he's getting turned on and he collapses in on himself again. shrinking away. he clears his throat and nods his head. ]

Yeah. [ he says, his voice almost squeaking. ] I, uh, I th--think that I'd like that. All of... that.

( oh, dear. poor steve. bucky tries to knock back some of his amusement, patting steve on the shoulder again before withdrawing his arm entirely. )

You want me to give you a little space? I can head out for a bit. Grab something from the corner store.

[ steve feels... embarrassed. he covers his face and shakes his head. ]

That-- [ steve starts and then stops. he pinches the bridge of his nose again. bucky leaving would make it worse. so much worse but now he can't stay either. ] I'm just gonna-- [ go die under a rock. he turns to leave, yes. he must go sit in shame somewhere in the dark. ]

( laughing, bucky reaches to grab steve. ) Hey, what—

Come on, it's fine. Where are you going? I'm not gonna kick you outta your own apartment, man. ( tugging steve back, he ends up bumping steve while tugging. ) Don't make this weird for me.

Leaving makes it weird, Bucky! Jesus! [ steve stops but he's still got his face in his hand. god he hates this. this is why he doesn't talk about sex. it always gets weird. ]

Okay, okay— You could just said— ( he sighs faintly with a shake of his head, stepping around and pulling steve into a hug. ) Come on. It's okay.

I'm not going anywhere, alright? I'm right here.

[ steve wants to shove bucky away for a moment, like the physical contact might make things worse but then it doesn't. and for a moment he's confused by it. steve hugs him back after a moment, exhales a sigh. ] Guess I'm still not ready for these kinds of conversations.

Hush. You're fine, Steve. ( bucky rubs his back gently, similar to how he used to when trying to soothe steve through harsh illness. ) There's nothing you have to be ready for if you don't want to. I mean it.

Just tell me to shove it next time, okay? I'm sorry, pal.

I just... [ steve doesn't really know. he doesn't have the words to express himself. not right now. he just sighs and shakes his head. ] Sorry, I don't-- Think I gotta work on some stuff, you know? Write it out and try understand what all of this stuff means.

[He can't help but be curious because this isn't a thing they'd ever talked about. At least not that he can remember.]

Being in control.

[ if he knew the terminology, steve would feel like his body just took a screenshot. he tenses up and shrugs. ]

S-sure? I... [ he shrugs. maybe? he doesn't know. he's never really tried anything other than... missionary. ] guess?

Hey -- you don't gotta -- it's fine. We can talk about something else.

No, no, it's fine. I just... [ he shrugs, still uncomfortable. ] It's apart of life, right? People are more open about it these days... I gotta adjust.

Still weird for me, too. [He's not exactly comfortable right now either.]

Do you wanna talk about something else?

We can. But we can talk about this too. [Even if it's awkward and uncomfortable. There's been...a lot he hasn't been able to talk to anyone about since before the war, frankly. He doesn't know how to start talking about things again, but...if it's going to happen, it's probably going to happen with Steve.]

Yeah? We don't gotta but, I don't mind it. A little awkward but... you've definitely seen me at my worst. [ steve says with a smile. he's thinking of all the times bucky had to get him through a particularly bad cold or flu. ] What's a little sex talk between friends, right?

[Well that's fair. And Steve's definitely seen him at his worst. Or pretty damn close to it, anyway. In the brainwashed assassin way.]

Right. Exactly. So uh, what are you into?

[Yep, he is horrible at this game.]

You weren't far off with the control thing... [ steve says with a shrug. he's still tense but a little more relaxed. ] Think I'd like to give it up a little more. Especially after... everything.

Yeah, okay, that -- actually makes a lot of sense.

[As much as the fact that the very idea of not being in control -- again -- is terrifying to think about to Bucky.]

What else? [He's just going to grab them a couple beers.]

I just... I like the idea of not having to worry about it. [ terribly put but it's all he got. ]

Uh... Praise? [ he shrugs, god this is getting weird. ] I like being told I'm doing a good... job.

[Bucky bites his lip as he grabs beers out of the fridge and hands one to Steve.]

Right. Yeah, I get that. [That is absolutely one they have in common, even if hearing things adjacent to praise makes him squirm.]

So are you -- keeping an eye out for the one? [He hopes so, even if that'll hurt. He hopes he's not still pining over Peggy, at least.]

[ steve takes the beer gratefully and offers a tight smile. he furrows his brow and shakes his head. ]

Nah, [ he says easily. he's not pining over peggy... per se. but he is stuck on what could have been if he'd stayed. ] Not really. I mean, if she comes along that'd be great but... not actively trying. [ steve takes an awkward sip of his beer. ] And you, are you looking?

Edited (coding fail) 2025-05-25 08:01 (UTC)

[He's chewing the inside of his cheek, but shakes his head. He's not looking, because there's no point. He can't have who he wants. He's known that since he was a teenager.]

Nah. Don't think that whole dating thing is for me.

Have you even tried? [ he asks, genuinely curious. ] You deserve that kind of attention, Buck.

Yeah. I had -- one of those apps for a little bit. Wasn't for me. [He makes a face.]

No? What turned you off it? [ steve's overwhelmed by them but sometimes he just doesn't open it. although it sits in the back of his mind like a spider on a wall. ]

Honestly, people were super strange. Quick to send some -- sort of disturbing pictures? And I guess I just...don't understand this century's dating culture.

Oh, yeah. I've gotten a couple of those. [ titties and dick pics both. steve simply unmatched and continued on his merry way. ]

Not much different than ours at the base of it but... I know what you mean. Sometimes I delete the app when I get overwhelmed.

Fair enough. I deleted it, too. {But now he sort of wants to redo it and see if maybe he just did something wrong on there? He doesn't even really want to date. But curiosity is a hell of a thing.]

Think you'll download it again? [ steve's not really sure what he's even doing on the apps. what he's looking for but it helps give him something to do in idle hours. ]

Eh. Maybe. If I get bored enough. No active plans at this point.

Do you.... have one?

...Yeah. [ steve shrinks ever so slightly. he's not used to talking about sex? let alone the things he likes about it. ] I think.

[God, neither is he. At least they're on the same page about that? Or maybe unfortunately. But here they are.]

Is this a more recent thing, or....?

[ steve shrugs. even though he knows the answer. ] Yeah, I guess.

[ he hasn't experimented much but he's not a total prude. he has sex. sometimes. ]

It's just... growing up I had so little agency and then I had it all. Whole world of responsibility on my shoulders, you know?

[These days maybe Bucky is the prude. Steve has probably had more sex than he has since being back.

Not...that Bucky ever thinks about it.]

Yeah. So- what's your kink then? Having total control, or losing it?

[ steve's not exactly out there fucking anything that moves but there have been a few women here and there since he defrosted. ]

No, nothing... that extreme, [ he feels self-conscious and awkward. like voicing what he wants might mark him as wrong or bad. ] I like... when women take control. I like being able to give it up every now and then, that's all. [ steve's still looking away, red faced. ]

Yeah I didn't mean it in an extreme way. I meant it.... Pretty much like that.

[Based on what Steve has said, and just how he thinks he functions in this world.

Steve looks so embarrassed by it though. That part he's not so sure about.]

Women are really into that these days.

[ he wants to be more confident in what he wants but that 1940's religious guilt goes deep. steve's had trouble fitting into the modern age but none moreso than with the sexual liberation. ]

Yeah, they... are. [ he speaks from experience here. first time he was with someone since defrosting she took the lead and guided him. it felt nice. ] Makes things a little easier too, you know? Being told what to do.

[Bucky would like to think he's more open about it, but it still throws him all the time.

The leaps and bounds that have been made are also hopeful though. Hopeful to someone who has been pining for a very long time.]

Especially if your the one in charge all the time.

Something like that, yeah. [ steve smiles and nods his head. after being in the lead... as quickly as he'd taken to it, steve's still that kid from brooklyn sometimes. the one that followed instead of lead. ]

[ Bucky doesn't remember Steve ever really following. He was always the one with his fists up, leading the way, and Bucky was always the one trying to drag him away. Bucky looked up to him. Always followed him. He took his place next to Steve, but never in front of him. ]

I think that's okay. I mean- not that it matters what I think. Or that a kink isn't okay. I'm not even sure if that's a kink though. Is it?

[He can't believe this is a word he is now saying repeatedly.]

[ the world made steve feel small. insignificant. relevant only when bucky was around. he fought for his place at any table every single day. he had to or he'd be forgotten. now... he's known as a hero. the experience doesn't go away though.

sometimes steve wants to let someone else take over. he wants to relent to the commands of another. ]

I mean, it matters to me what you think. [ and it does. more than anything. ] I think so? I really... I've tried doing research on it but some of these websites are little too much for me.

[ Bucky knows Steve went through a lot when he was younger. He was always there by his side. Steve did it all with his head held high. Bucky thought of him as the strongest person he knew, long before the serum.

That's why this makes sense. ]

I think it's good to go after what you want.

[He nods at that, grasping Steve's shoulder.]

Same here, pal. I try not going on there as much as I can.

Yeah, s'why I'm trying. You know? Figure out what I want.

[ steve laughs because, he doesn't often feel old by todays standards but the sexual liberation of the 70's still still something he's grappling with. let alone the 80's and 90's. ]

You used to love all that tech stuff, [ steve says, remembering their final day in new york together. ] It's not so bad, I definitely like being able to research so easily.

That's good. You deserve to find what you want.

[Steve didn't stay with Peggy back in time. He's back here, and Bucky feels guilty about it. But if Steve can be happy in other ways, he wants to help him- even if he's not a part of it.]

The internet is.... it's a whole different kind of thing. The computers are great, the phones are incredible. It's the stuff inside that's weird.

You do too, you know.

[ steve stayed because the alternative was selfish. in a way he could never live with. and he didn't fight for bucky to leave him alone in a future they might never have had otherwise. ]

It can be weird, yeah but... We couldn't even dream of stuff like this back then. [ steve sees the use in it. even if it can be weird. ]

I think I'm good on that front. No kinks and things for me.

[He tries to say it jokingly, but he's not joking about that at all.]

Only in my scifi magazines. The crazy thing is, almost everything from those magazines is true now.

Doesn't have to be kinks, Bucky. You deserve someone in your life like that.

[ steve, true to form, takes it too literally and some how hits the nail on the head still. ]

Never thought we'd live to see that... But I'm glad we did. Despite... everything. I wouldn't want to do all this without ya, pal.

I uh.... I don't think that kinda thing is for me. Not anymore.

[He tried the whole dating app thing to try and move on, but- here they are.]

Real glad I don't have to do it without you either. And you know- that's good enough for me. Just being here with you.

There are a lot of good people out there, Buck. People who you might like, if you let 'em.

[ he doesn't like the idea of bucky being alone. i mean, he never will be because steve will be there. but what if steve finds someone? ]

Yeah? [ steve smiles softly. he won't ever leave bucky. ] Me too, actually.

It's complicated. And I know that sounds like bullshit, but it really is. I've got... A lot going on, you know?

[If anyone could possibly understand,it would be Steve. So why's it so hard to talk about even with him?

Well...maybe especially with him.]

Our movie nights are epic.

[He's learned that new word, are you proud of him?]

Look, I get it but... don't let that be an excuse for too long, you know? [ steve offers a smile. he does get finding yourself. he's doing that now. he's trying. they both are. ] Life's always gonna be busy and complicated but finding someone doesn't have to be something you avoid.

They are pretty... epic. [ steve lets the word sit for a moment. they're so modern, now. ] It's nice just to spend time together.

Edited 2025-05-28 00:33 (UTC)

I don't think it's meant for me, Steve. Not after everything. There are things that I... I don't know. I can't get past. And even if I could.... [He shrugs] I don't think the thing I want is gonna happen for me.

Spending time with you is the most important thing to me right now.

You can't say that, maybe the feeling will pass. Maybe things will change, [ ever the optimist, steve always has hope. especially when his friends don't. ] Nothing stays the same forever, right?

What do you want, Buck?

It's not just a feeling. It's- [he sighs, sitting back] Things that happen because of what they did to me. The nightmares, the dissociation. The way how sometimes all I want is to... be touched, but sometimes the thought of it makes my skin crawl. How can I put that on anyone?

I want...

[He can't. He knows he shouldn't. Not even Steve. Which is why he rethinks his next answer. He can't go there.]

I just want a peaceful life. I want us to get to know each other again.

[ steve reaches out and holds bucky's shoulder. he can only imagine how hard it is for him to deal with all the stuff hydra did to him. ]

The right person will be patient, Bucky. Love isn't just about what you can offer but what someone else is willing to offer in return. You don't know that someone won't accept all that if it means having you too. And you're pretty great, someone else will see that too.

[ steve waits patiently, let's bucky work through what he needs to work through. he knows he's holding back but he doesn't push. ]

Yeah? I think that's doable.

[ Bucky looks at Steve, leaning into that hold a little. There are so many things he wants to say- but he can't. He doesn't want to ruin things. Those words, though- they make him feel further away from happiness than he's felt in a while. He knows it won't happen for him. ]

Yeah, maybe. I guess we'll see. Anyway this is supposed to be about your thing, not mine.

[He tilts his head a little, looking at Steve.]

Then I'm good. I'm set.

Think we moved on from that a while ago. But if you're curious I'll answer the best I can but I'm still figuring all this out too. [ steve says with a shrug, because he is. he doesn't know what most of his feelings mean or where they come from or why. ]

[Steve's gotta have some handle on his feelings, doesn't he? He's been a person living out of the ice for a while now.]

Well I don't know how we moved on from that to me. You've got more experience with this lately than I do.

I don't know about more experience but I have been trying. [ he's gotten a few dates under his belt and he's even had sex. but anything more serious hasn't cropped up for him. ] I guess I just haven't been thinking about the whole kink thing, when did sex become this complicated?

More experienced lately. Since- you know. We both came back from the ice.

[Bucky hasn't been trying all that much. He doesn't think he can. He has a whole slew of problems he doesn't want to put on anyone. Especially ones who might not understand where he's coming from, or what's wrong. And then there's the other thing.]

It's good if you know you like it, though. It's good to know what you like.

I ask myself that every day. One thing leaves me more confused than the other.

( he mentioned it twice — maybe three if you count "bondage", so let's say two and a half.

so jack's gotta say, ) Ropes.

( ...jackie boy. how dare you. )

You mean like rock climbing?

( an eyebrow raise. )

So, agoraphilia with a dash of danger, too?

What? No. Jesus, I didn't even say I was into rock climbing.

( he prefers bouldering, tyvm. )

Ropes, though. You are into that?

( he prefers bouldering huh 😏 )

So what if I am?

( ...that's not confirmation, he's just. saying. )

( he shrugs, nonchalant but open-minded about the confirmation. )

Any specific rope you prefer?

Hemp.

( ...he has no clue, actually. why do you think he knows anything about this??? he's got the bluest balls, man. )

( he frowns. )

Hemp? I think hemp ropes are too rough on the skin. Now cotton ropes... those are more comfortable. ( spoken as a man who has been tied up on many occasions. )

But you do you.

You.

What?

I've never been tied up before, much less by ropes, man. I don't know the first thing about what makes a good...bondage rope. ( ugh, why does that feel so dirty to say??? )

You telling me you're actually into it?

( he shrugs again. )

If it's done by a hot woman. ( or guy. jack's confident enough in himself to admit that. )

But 95% of the time, I'm tied up because I've been taken hostage, or arrested, or — or, people don't trust me enough not to poke through their stuff so they tie me up.

( which is fair. he should not be trusted around other people's stuff because he will poke through. )

( damn jack for whetting his appetite with the thought and now a known mutual approval. yes, he was being dodgy about liking the idea, but he doesn't know the first thing about it otherwise.

bucky is also very familiar with jack's natural inclination to snoop, though, so this makes a decent segue. )

Well, now I'm gonna get some cotton ropes for my apartment, I guess.

( that's not a threat. it's a promise. )

( he grins, widely and smugly. )

Nylon, please. Soft, durable, and easy to clean.

( don't worry, buckster. he already snooped through your things 😀

kidding. there's nothing in bucky's apartment that interests jack. except the occupant. )

Eye contact.

( oh, no, not him immediately glancing away. shit. )

What makes you say that?

( he manages to keep himself from awkwardly clearing his throat before looking back. just barely. )

[oh, baby girl, ]

Aren't humans always going on about soul-windows? [give him a second to settle back out of smugness and into (or, well, toward) sincerity.] You've always struck me as someone who understand the difference between being seen and being seen.

( ugh. not that he can ever be mad about it, with loki. )

Seems like something we're both well versed in, darling. ( almost coyly. )

Dunno if eye contact alone is a kink, though. Seems...I dunno. Situational.

Something we can both enjoy, then. [so, you know. wink wonk.

more importantly, this feels like a good time to fuss at bucky's collar like it needs fixing etc.]

Is there something sensational to guess, for you?

Ha. ( cheeky. but he's chuckling anyway, watching loki's face as he fiddles with bucky's collar )

Mm. Well, I can't say I've had opportunities to really explore much. But I also suppose what's sensational depends on what you'd define that as.

What's the baseline for normal, in Asgard?

[up go his shoulders, head tilting thoughtfully for a moment.]

Altered, I suppose. [also apparently a good time to actually study bucky's collar, eye contact kink or no.] With adrenaline. Or drink. So it can get a bit... experimental?

( bucky hums, still studying loki's face. each curve. each bone. )

Well, the wildest I can think of is knives. ( or daggers. ) Off the top of my head. Pretty sure that's seen as pretty weird, on Midgard.

Edited 2025-05-23 01:26 (UTC)

--knives? [ok, back to eye contact it is, because otherwise the brows shooting up won't be appreciated properly.] Have you ever had sex without a knife on hand, elskan?

( a full bodied shake of laughter bubbles from bucky's chest. oh, what a response— )

Yes, ( he manages between laughs, calming himself more before he continues. ) There was a time when I was just a normal man, and I definitely didn't understand the value of blades, back then.

( canting his head slightly as his voice lowers more soberly, ) After that, it made sense to keep them nearby, since it was the war.

( an attack could happen at any time. a woman could be waiting to kill him just the same. and then he didn't have sex for decades, so the rest doesn't matter. )

[good luck, really, that it's so easy to shift his hand from bucky's collar to bucky's chest. there's something quite thrilling about being able to feel someone else's contentment shuddering out of them.]

I see.

[maybe it isn't ultimately a warm thing, but it feels warm here. so many things seemed to, with bucky.]

And have you used them? Or only kept them nearby?

( it's warm for bucky as long as it's with loki. while the little nest here may be of aid, it's in each other that they find true refuge. )

There was once when I had to use it defensively, but I suspect that's not what you meant. Beyond that, only kept nearby.

( his right hand finds loki's cheek, cupping gently before his fingers rake back through dark locks. )

Didn't have much chance to use them in the way you mean, but I know of their effect because I've felt it in battle.

[isn't this better, in a way? isn't being allowed close, touched softly, met eye to eye infinitely better than a wild tumble?

it's quite a close race, anyway.]

And? You'd like to try?

( humming gently, his thumb strokes the curve of loki's cheek. )

I want you content, most of all, my darling.

I haven't really thought about who we are beyond this— ( a slight nod, toward them, this beautiful symmetry. ) —but I'll happily explore whatever else you'd be willing to join me in.

Content?

[loki isn't sure when it became so comfortable not to worry about schooling his features. it's a good thing, even, if bucky sees the brief flicker of surprise, followed by uncertainty, followed by the quiet easing back into the quiet comfort of clear trust.

his own arms shift to curl around the soldier's waist.] Am I joining you in contentment?

( ah. the view tickles his chest pleasantly with warmth. fondly, ) I would hope so.

( closing the gap, their foreheads meet, light but connected, as they often find themselves of late. )

I could never bear to leave you behind.

[safe. easy. content.

wrinkled, briefly, by the knowledge that he'll be the one to leave--the way he always has when his heart gets too close to full. panicked, for a moment, by the thought he might not deserve yet another chance to be better.

best to bury himself in the sensation of being here, present, together. his nose bumps against bucky's on the way to a needy kiss, arms curling tighter.]

( he won't ever know what you never share, yet his faith remains in you, loki.

sighing through his nose, he eagerly meets and returns in full, chest swelling with emotion he hasn't felt so thoroughly in so long. his fingers curl and grasp onto locks, pleased with anything given and even nothing at all, just that this man that understands him so thoroughly is with him will always be enough.

his left hand sets against loki's lower back to steady their balance as he tilts his head further and leans back in with his tongue dabbing lightly against loki's lips. only if loki wishes, as bucky makes no demand by the act. )

[if he let himself, it could be maddening to consider why this chases everything back from the front of his mind. it's just a kiss. it's just being held and chased gently. it's all his thoughts can hold for a moment as his lips part and one hand snakes to find bucky's hair to curl against.

this is real and now. this will hopefully stay real and now despite loki shifting to take a lurching step to start dragging them both toward the nearest wall.]

[oh boy the repression working overtime here]

Handcuffs. Which, by the way, I happen to have the Chitauri kind of.

Well, it's less about the cuffs. And more the anti-phasing properties they come with.

[but isn't it convenient that they're cuffs.]

... How long we got until he realizes they're missing?

I'm good with both of those things.

They're not missing. I borrowed them.

As absolutely curious I am in how you managed to convince him, I'm far moreso interested in what you're planning now that you have them.

I thought we could experiment and see just how well these actually work.

Got to catch me, first.

Then let's get going.

[with a smirk, she vanishes. reappears only for a moment behind him, to taptap playfully on the shoulder. and then she's off. but considering she wants to be caught, shouldn't be too difficult to figure out where she's off to.]

Not fair, Ava.

[He sets off in the direction he thinks she's going, a light jog to start. No one really needs him racing around at top speed.]

[oh, who said anything about fair? but she leaves a disembodied giggle for his sake, so he knows he's on the right direction, toward his room.

when he gets to the door of it, she shoves him up against it from behind. surprise more than strength in her favor, but she doubts for long.]

[It takes him by surprise. He takes a few deep breaths and then he recovers.]

Like it rough, huh?

[a slap right on the ass.]

Don't like anything easy.

Then you should have run farther.

[But he's got her now. He twists around to grab her wrists, spinning her so her back is against the door.]

Now play nice. No phasing.

No phasing? [a mischievous grin.] If only you had a solution for that.

[staying pinned between him and the door is quite tempting, and she does arch right up into him, little tug of her wrists to test just how strong his grip is...

and then vanishes right through the door. because what she really wants is probably best done behind it than in an open hallway.]

If only.

[And then she's gone.]

Dammit.

[He opens the door and locks it behind him. Definitely best done in private.]

I think I'm going to have to use them.

[she's sitting at the edge of his bed, already wrestling with loosening the straps of her boots so she can slip them off.]

You never said how long we have.

It's not like he wants them back tonight.

[He figures it's best to see how this goes and then decide if they even want more time.]

Good, or he'd have to come pry them off himself.

[because as eager as she is... it's also not something she wants to be under some pressure to rush through.

she tosses one of the boots at him.]

[He dodges easily, but still gives her a look.]

You're such a brat.

[Toeing off his shoes, he sits beside her on the bed but gives her enough space.]

You'll have to let me know when you want them.

I've been called worse. [she closes that distance to lightly bump shoulders, or as close as she can manage since she is quite a bit shorter. especially without the extra couple inches the boots give her.]

Guess it'll have to be when everything else comes off. Or, you know, it'd make it some Houdini trick.

[after the boots, she fiddles with the various straps up her sleeves, loosening the gauntlets, unclipping the portion around her wrists so she can pull her gloves off, one finger at a time, to reveal surprisingly neatly manicured nails, painted black.

having her hands free is nice, but they're always one of the most essential parts of her suit to ensure that she can keep a steady grip on things. she wiggles her hands, fingers blurring with the motion. at least it's less of an erratic glitching she used to experience. at least it no longer hurts quite the same.]

Nothing will be more accurate.

[He's nervous about this, but it's not as awkward as he was dreading. They have a good rapport. He actually likes her a lot. It's how she views him that he's not sure about.]

You okay?

[it's tempting to snap back with some remark, like she always does. to deflect. but. no, it's a genuine question and she's trying her best to let her guard down. emotionally and... physically.]

Just a bit nervous, yeah. [she places bare fingertips gently to the side of his face, lightly brushing them back and forth over the stubble of his beard in appreciation for being able to feel at all.] Was wondering what that felt like.

It's okay to be nervous.

[Her touch is light, but electric. He stays as still as he can, not wanting her to draw away too quickly. He won't mention Olivia hated his beard.]

Prickly, right? It's an acquired taste.

[a nod, both of them use a lot of overconfidence to hide behind. right now doesn't feel the time for that.]

No, I like it. It's... [she leans in, eyelashes fluttering, thumb stroking closer to the corner of his mouth as she parts her own.]

[They're all overconfident, but probably he is more than most. You have to be to try to take over the legacy of Captain America.

He's well aware of what she's doing, whether she knows it or not, and closes the distance to press his lips gently against hers. Nothing too scary.]

[not too scary at all, despite the prickly sensation of beard as she presses her mouth hungrily into his. her eyes do flutter shut, and she shifts even closer, one hand still steady on the side of his face as she starts working at the latches of her belt. it's complicated, but luckily so routine now that she can do it one-handed with the distraction.]

[She tastes and smells amazing. He's not sure how that works, but he likes it. A hand rests on her thigh as he shuffles closer, the kiss deepening.]

[it's funny how for so long she thought the inexperience would be such an obstacle, an impossible skill gap to overcome. but it turns out kissing really doesn't seem that complicated at all. just all the feelings involving it. moving her mouth against his comes so naturally, teeth grazing lightly over his bottom lip.

slowly different bits and pieces of her suit loosen as she methodically works her way up one side of her body and down the other. the various straps up her arm, the sides of her chest plate. the harness slung diagonally across her shoulder falling off to the side as it gets unclipped.]

[Feelings are the worst of everything, though he's not worrying about that right now. It occurs to him that she's undressing and he should probably be paying attention to that. His hand moves up her thigh to her side and he pulls back just barely.]

You sure you're ready for this?

What, you think you're more than I can handle? [but yes, there is a waver of nerves still in her tone, pausing her fidgeting with a buckle. yes, part of it was to expedite the process, the rest of it to keep her hand busy.]

Look, I... [a hush:] trust you.

No, it's just that I'll understand if you don't want to go through with this.

[His body might not understand, but he can deal with that.]

Good. I'm glad you do. But we're not doing anything you're not comfortable with, okay?

No, I do. God, I've thought about it enough. I just never thought, with- [the limitations of her body, that being intimate was ever really in the cards for her. and she had convinced herself that was fine, because she didn't want to deal with anyone touching her anyway. but.]

I'll let you know if I don't like anything, okay?

Okay. We'll take it slow.

[But then he's kissing her again, tugging her in against him.]

[she allows herself to be pulled in, rather than putting up that usual edge of resistance against things that she wants. pressing up against him, undressing herself is forgotten for the moment. he is so very distracting, and now she's playing with the straps and buckles on his uniform instead. a bit more fumbling, since she's less familiar with them.

honestly, with all the layers between them, this constitutes as slow...]

[It was a really stupid idea to wear his suit. He should be in something more casual, easier to remove. Then again, he didn't realize this was going to happen so fast. not that he minds.

He starts to help her with his buckles and belt and at least manages to get the upper part of the costume off. Progress!]

Well. We're definitely working for it.

[she'd complain about it more if she didn't find him absolutely devastatingly handsome in that suit despite how much she thought it made him look like some patriotic ass when they first met. the cut of it emphasizing his broad shoulders, the stripes of red across his chest... yet she appreciates the removal of it even more. her eyes roam his bare chest, and then her fingers reach out too, hesitantly at first to make sure it's okay to touch.

and she leans in to place light fluttery kisses along his jaw, still very much enjoying the prickly sensation of his beard against her face.]

Feels well worth it, though. Here. Help with mine. It comes apart at the sides. [which she has already loosened, and she reaches up to unclip the attachment of her hood so she doesn't strangle herself in the process of wrangling it all off. the chest plate is hard and bulky shell separate from her sleeves and skirted tunic, and sorry Walker but she is indeed wearing even more underneath.]

[She can touch all she likes, he's not going to stop her. His breath hitches when she kisses his jawline, his eyes closing briefly. Somehow, it doesn't feel as strange as he thought it might with someone new.]

You wear too much. Way too much.

[But she's right; it'll be worth it. He does as asked and helps remove her chest plate, setting what he can to the side.]

What next?

Have to. Better it's sturdy and keeps me safe and all in one piece, hm? [though it's not nearly as defensive the first time they commented upon her suit being such an inconvenience, tone soft and flirty as she traces a finger along his chest muscles with a quirk of her mouth.]

This whole top layer... [that she starts wriggling out of, lifting her arms if he wants to help pull it off. the sleeves take some tugging, but slide right off too with some maneuvering.

all the pieces are indeed quite stiff, with complex tech running through them. and then she's just wearing a very thin grey undershirt beneath, with a built in bra, one of those athletic compression sort of fabrics to help absorb sweat and keep her cooler and reduce the chafing.

she feels so fragile like this, stripped out of her shell. tries not to look so uncertain, assessing his gaze.]

Safe and in one piece is for the best, yeah. [He watches her face as she touches him, how her mouth quirks, and he licks his own lips wanting to taste her again.

But there’s more important matters. She wants her top off and damned if he isn’t going to do his best to help her. It takes the two of them but the suit is half conquered. He sits back and just stares at her.]

You have to know how beautiful you are.

... It's always been difficult, feeling that way. [but she's not outright disagreeing, doesn't want to make this some awkward back and forth where she's rejecting his compliment because her own confidence is very shaky in this area. it's quite unknown territory, anyone viewing her with want.] Haven't always had the best relationship with my body, you know.

[a small nervous inhale, as she reaches for his wrist, wrapping fingers delicately around it, guiding his hand toward her chest in permission for him to touch back.] But I want to. Feel beautiful. Want to feel you.

I guess you wouldn't.

[He doesn't need to be asked twice. He places his hand at her waist, then slowly draws it up her side. His thumb brushes over her clothed breast, stroking gently at the outer edge. He's waiting for her reaction before he does more.]

Tell me what you want.

To feel something other than pain... [a soft breath, trying not to shiver too badly under his gentle touch with so much repressed want. she's starved for this, but also so nervous that she's going to fall apart if she lets down her guard.

but she knows there's really only one way past her insecurities. Ava leans in to stroke appreciatively down his chest, lower, as she places a kiss to his shoulder, up his neck.] Make me yours.

I won't hurt you.

[A promise he hopes he can keep.

She's definitely nervous and so is he, but they'll figure this out together. His hands reach for the hem of her slip of a shirt and moves to take if off her.]

I should get those cuffs.

... I'm not fragile, John. Don't have to be too careful.
[and she's been in such excruciatingly constant levels of pain for most of her life, her tolerance is fairly blown at this point. she just never imagined her body being able to feel anything but

because she never imagined anyone would have the interest or patience to peel back all these layers, figuratively and very much literally as she raises her arms so he can peel the last one away. her skin is remarkably smooth, unscarred despite a lifetime in such a profession. she looks so deceptively healthy for a woman suffering, until she flickers. more from the rush of cold air against her exposed nipples.]

Yeah, probably, or this is going to be a little... tough.

[He has to get up now to get the cuffs, because if he waits much longer he won't be able to leave her. Taking the opportunity while he's up, he takes off the rest of his costume, leaving him in his underwear only. Then he's back beside her, setting the cuffs to the side for now, then turns his attention back toward her.

He draws her in for another kiss. A hand goes back to her breast, kneading the flesh gently as his mouth continues down her neck.]

[it's difficult not to protest when he does get up despite agreeing that he should, the temporary loss of contact at least satisfied by watching him strip further down. she doesn't even have to pretend that she's not looking, the way she used to steal side glances at him. now it's with rather open desire.

she wants him badly, knows where all this is meant to be heading because she might be inexperienced but she's not completely clueless. but is still so uncertain of all the steps in between to get there. she hates going into things unprepared, without a full plan. but at least she trusts John enough to follow along with his lead. for once. funny how much things have changed between them.

the kiss is sweet, the taste of him lingering on her lips as his mouth works downwards and she tilts her head back to expose more of her neck to him. she shivers, though not from the cold this time. her skin feels so overly sensitive to touch as it is, not used to direct contact at all and certainly not something as pleasant as this, the squeezing of her breast earning a bit of a surprised gasp.

she almost forgets she has hands of her own for a moment, before wrapping arms around John, fingertips exploring the broad expanse of his back, cupping at his shoulder blades. she flickers in and out again, as she loses her focus.] You're so warm... and smell so good...

I know this, but I'm not gonna say it.

... By implying, aren't you basically saying it anyway?

Not really, no. It's just not saying it.

Yet you're making sure that I know that you know.

Well you put up a sign to guess your kink, didn't you?

... Thought you'd opt out after the last "team bonding" exercise mishap.

I'm not really interested in opting out of things anymore, let's just put it that way.

Except openly admitting you know what Walker plans on doing with those cuffs you allowed him to borrow.

Hey, I wasn't about to call a lady out. But he wasn't exactly subtle about it either.

Is the lady in the room with us?

Because I'm sure you demanded a reasonable explanation for his request.

You're a lady, aren't you?

I wanted to know and he told me. There wasn't anything hostile about it. We had a real good conversation, actually.

Not in the sense that would require any guise of propriety.

As long as I was not the topic of it. Glad you two are getting along. [because she'd prefer to be the only black leather-clad brunette assassin with pent up tension with Walker, thanks.]

It's hot nothing to do with propriety.

It was about multiple things.

[He's working on less tension. Working really hard.]

Not calling me out has everything to do with propriety, I'd imagine.

... well, I appreciate your contribution to our cause.

It has to do with being respectful, actually. A lost notion in this day and age, apparently.

Sure, no problem. I uh- hope it goes well. Or went well.

You're all lucky I have as much manners and consideration for others as I do.

If you want a fully detailed report, you'll have to ask him.

Like I said, lost notion in this day and age.

I don't want a fully detailed report. Not at all.

"In this day and age" as if my entire lack of proper socialization is the time period and not the fact I spent the entirety of my formative years hooked up to machines.

Does that mean we can't respect each other?

No, it means my framework for what respect even looks like is going to differ from yours, and what you believe is a lack of it does not register to me at all because I have never had any expectations of such considerations.

Which is why I explained my intentions in the first place. But when you tell me we're lucky we have it at all, that tells me there's a realization right there. That's all I'm saying.

Your perceived lack of respect or consideration doesn't bother me in the least.

Yes, lucky, because I could have just as easily have left. And I figured you all preferred me around than not. That's why you all continue to put up with me despite my shortcomings.

Nevermind.

We're not putting up with you, Ava.

I think you're misunderstanding me. Or I'm misunderstanding you. Either way, I'm saying you're doing just fine.

No, but this is what I mean, okay? Communicating, getting along. It's hard for me. But I'm trying.

I get that. I know you're trying. I think- it's hard for all of us. There's gonna be times we misunderstand each other.

Voyeurism.

... I'm a spy. It's just the nature of the business.

If it's turning you on, it's not just the nature of the business.

There would be more concerning aspects, certainly.

Since you're "spying" on me and not killing me, I think we're both okay on that front and my point is proven.

In my defense, it was accidental at first. And I had no idea how prolific you all were.

Accidental AT FIRST. So you admit it is no longer accidental. Oh, I think I am going to regret this, but I have to know. How many people are in this 'you all' that you are now intentionally watching be 'prolific?'

Edited (dumb bitch hours are all day today, don't mind me) 2025-05-23 14:07 (UTC)

... I've narrowed it down. [to the ones that seem to mutually enjoy it. two fingers up.]

Mm. Okay. As long as I am in rare company, I can live with that.

It's, you know. Two very different learning experiences.

... I really do not need any more details, to be honest.

Just in case you think it's some sort of competitive thing, I mean.

I wasn't, but now I'm wondering [worrying] if it is.

...

I mean I'm not rating anyone's performances.

Okay.

Is this... Do you want to talk to me about the other person you're watching? Is there something you're curious or unsure about, about their - version of activities?

There's just... other parts involved that I'm even less familiar with. The whole... how it ends bit was surprising. I mean I knew in concept, but witnessing it...

[just kinda gauging Yelena's reaction to the subject, because she can shut up about it if need be.]

What about how it ends was surprising? How messy it actually is or the pleasure of it?

Yeah, messy. How sudden it seemed. And then how it's just... over? Compared to when you go about it, it's more drawn out. Is that a typical thing?

Yes and no? It is generally easier for it to be quick for men, but I could get it done much quicker if I wanted to as well. It just wouldn't be as enjoyable, or as good a show. Like many things, the more time you take with it, the better the end result you get, and the better the orgasm, the longer the afterglow sensation tends to last.

Ah, so you do take longer on purpose? To keep me there? [because she doesn't sound like she's complaining at all.]

I take longer on purpose for multiple reasons. That is a factor, yes.

I... always gave up after a bit. Couldn't quite get it to feel good enough to keep at it.

[which is to say Yelena is indeed an inspiration.]

Trust me, it took plenty of trial and error to figure out what I liked and get past that stage. Like anything, practice helps.

I haven't worked out the whole list yet.

How long has it gotten?

Confirmed or theory?

I do like your theories.

Now you do.

Potentially, up to 20. I don't have enough data yet about what exactly draws the line between a turn on and a kink, or how many of these you like enough to put them in the second category. More research is still needed.

... Twenty?! [okay she didn't even realize there were that many possible options to begin with. but it's true, she has no clue where that line is drawn either.] That's including... subcategories and such, right?

The list included a lot of things that I did not think counted.
Yes, those were all under different headers: General Acts, General Types & Locations, Clothing, BDSM, Misc.

Not counted for me or as kinks?
... Locations and clothing? What do you have on there?

Not counted as kinks.
Clothes still on, uniforms, semi-public/chance of being caught.

Oh, no wonder there's so many. Those are all just the default circumstances we're working with.

... I do appreciate your uniform, though.

The rest are not default circumstances.

I like yours, too. Am I allowed to say that?

Edited (omg) 2025-05-24 01:08 (UTC)

Such as?

Yes, I actually had some amount of say in the design of this one. For as much time as I have to spend in it, I did want it to be something I liked.

If you want more answers, you are going to have to earn them.

You did a good job. It looks very good.

... Do I have a chore list?

I like the skirts. So much of the suit is purely functional. But I wanted something that was just to look nice. Since I can't really wear anything else.

Something like that. Actually eating a hot meal will earn you two. Three if it includes multiple vegetables. [Hypocrisy, thy name is...]

It looks really nice. You should do a spin.

Multiple vegetables? Are we going to get scientifically particular about what qualifies and isn't technically a fruit?

... [a perfect spin upon her right foot, the type of move that she usually finishes off with a kick to somebody's head but refrains this time, the skirts dramatically flaring out around her, swishing back into place after she settles. yes she looks rather pleased with it.]

Nope. If you want to go for some cannibalism instead, that's acceptable.

That's one of the coolest things I've ever seen. [Can you hear both the sincerity and the grin (only a little at her own terrible joke) in her voice? Hopefully.]

... [processing.] Hey! [she can't even be mad about that one.] But alright, I'll figure something out.

[aw but sincere compliments can be a bit difficult, and she resists that urge to deflect or twist it into some backhanded comment instead. simply shuffles slightly and nods. aw.] What's your favorite element of yours?

Good kitty. [Now the satisfaction there is definitely audible.]

Favorite element? [If Ava had asked simply for her favorite thing about it instead, the answer would have been simple, immediate, and depressing. But element specifically feels like a different question.] The way the mask retracts and returns.

Do you need to see that I licked the bowl clean too?

... I do like how yours opens up like that. It's much more convenient when it's retractable, right? I used to have a mask that I had to remove manually. And then Ant-Man punched me right in the face and shattered it.

Now I do.

It's so much more convenient. Bitch to clean when blood gets on it, but what else is new.
So he owes you money.

The licking itself, or the aftermath?

Why I changed from white to black.
Nah, they paid me back in far more important ways than money.

Both.

Better for stealth, too. Usually. Sucks if you accidentally get bleach on it, though.
Okay. That's good.

Two whole vegetables and I'll provide proof. And then you better have some satisfying answers. Ones that aren't so generic as "breathing" or "existing."

Yeah. They helped heal me to the point I'm no longer... actively coming apart. Not a complete cure, but better than what I had.

Apparently breathing IS a kink, but okay. I'll keep my end of the bargain.

So then I owe them.

How does that make any sense? Heavy breathing in somebody's ear?

I wouldn't go that far, it all makes up for the fact they're indirectly responsible for the lab accident in the first place and that I tried to kill them. It's complicated.

That, or asphyxiation.

Everything is complicated like that. I'd thank them, at least.

... Oh. OH.

They're fairly... interesting. I don't think you'd dislike them. Other than Pym can be arrogant and Hope can be a little intense. Now that his wife is back he's chilled out some in his old age.

So many accidental deaths.

Oh, no. I can't even be in the same room as arrogant and intense people. (/deadpan sarcasm.)

... I guess horny overrides judgment.

Look, there's plenty of times I wanted to drop them right out the window.

Lots of things seem to override judgment.

Okay, but is there anyone you haven't wanted to drop out a window at least once?
Besides Bill.

Why I tried to minimize distractions and things that might confuse my priorities, for so long.

Mm, Janet perhaps. I wanted to drain her of her energy which was likely to kill her. But it wasn't out of irritation.

Do you ever miss that strategy?

Now I have to meet her.

No, but habits are hard to break. Especially when stressed, default back to old ways of thinking.

She's lovely. No idea how she ever married that arrogant insect of a man.

Yes. Habits are very hard to break.

It seems like it is very easy for arrogant men to get married, actually.

Any that you're trying?

... feels like a trap.

Trying to break? Standing motionless in corners for hours at a time.

If you care enough for it to be an option, might as well step in.

Probably a good one. Back when I first got out of the labs, it was hard to know what to do with all my free time not just sitting around in the labs waiting for my next assignment anymore.

... Eh.

I do think I'll still do it sometimes. Just to freak people out a little bit. That part is fun.

Eh?

Oh absolutely. I'll set up a camera to catch the reactions.

Not sure I'm sold on the concept, really.

We can crop me out and put them on the internet.

Okay.

The new tiktok challenge.

... I don't want to feel as if I 'belong' to a man.

That'd be funny.

[...] Ah. Yes.

... That's what we were talking about, right? That marrying men is a trap?

I didn't realize we were being that specific.

Oh. I thought that was the subject. Arrogant men managing to get married despite all their glaringly negative qualities that women subject themselves to for some reason or another.

[...]

You're right. For some reason, I applied the trap comment more widely.

But also I guess I've never been around anyone that's been happily married? [john? divorced. valentina? divorced. scott? divorced. hank? talks to ants and wife trapped in the quantum realm for decades. alexei? whatever the hell that was.]

I mean, I think my parents were. Or they were very good at hiding any of their problems from me. But even that still ended poorly.

I don't think I have, either.

Was that related to their marriage, though?

You know, when I was younger I didn't want to think he did anything wrong at all. Felt unfair to blame him, it was an accident.

But did he pursue his obsession at the expense of his family...? [a shrug.]

I'm sorry. That seems like a lot to have to carry.

At least I know he- [loved her, which feels like way more than Antonia's father ever did. whose obsession for power didn't just come at the expense of his own family, but destroyed so many. she swallows down a bit of discomfort, at feeling like such an asshole to ever complain.]

I'm sorry too. That your father took a more active role in your suffering.

[Despite her best efforts, there is an instinctive, instantaneous stiffening. She neither knows what she really wants to say to that - those particular pieces of baggage she currently doesn't intend to touch even with a 20-foot pole - or what is socially appropriate.

She goes with the only thing she does know: your father grates against her ears.] I don't claim him.

[an uncomfortable sort of nod, knowing she said the wrong thing on such a sensitive topic, but glad that antonia at least corrected it.] You shouldn't, you're right. I won't refer to him again. Other than I'm glad he's rotting in hell.

[That is easier to hear. She's not sure if she actually believes in hell, but she hopes there is one just for him, at least.] Me too.

[Oh he's gonna love this one]

Missionary. But at the foot of the bed. Or! Or! Standing up. [ yes, she's very pleased with herself. ]

Standing up? How?

[He can't even picture this one. He hates that he even has to.]

Too kinky? You're right. I don't know why I went so advanced. On the couch?

[ don't make her describe in detail, because she will. ]

What the hell does kinky even mean? Like, what does it encapsulate?

[They might as well start there.]

It's the weird shit people are into sexually. In this case I am making fun of you for being an old man and a prude. [ she grins at him. ]

Yeah.... I figured you were making fun of me. You're not real subtle you know.

I'm not a prude.

[ she feigns a gasp. ] You take that back, I am a very subtle.

No? So you're just desperately uptight and unfucked for fun?

As subtle as a brick to the head, sure.

How do you know what I am?

Ouch. I mean, fair but ouch.

[ she shrugs. ] I'm going based purely off vibes so like, add an asterisks to all this. I'm willing to be proven wrong.

I doubt you're offended by that either way.

Don't really think that needs to be a thing I've gotta prove to you, but sure.

I could be, you don't know that for sure. [ he's right. she's not. ]

Ok, so you do have a kink? Hmmm, is it feet? No, that's more of a fetish but it is kinky...

Yeah I do.

I didn't say that I had a kink. Not everyone has one.

Please, everyone has a kink. It is human nature. It doesn't even have to be explicitly sexual in nature. Maybe you just haven't discovered it yet.

Isn't the whole thing of having a kink sexual in nature?

Hmm, no. Not really. I mean, the thing can be nonsexual but then the kink makes it sexual.

I'm gonna regret asking this, but- like what?

[Beware of manga-only spoilers]

Is it having your drinks paid for?

[It's worked for everything else he's wanted, so it must be the answer here too!]

Wh- I'm not just easy for drinks?!!

[Yikes! Getting called out that mercilessly right out of the gate!?]

[ Wait.... ]

[ A-hem ]

Akira-kun, can you please not make it sound like I'm only after free dinner and drinks? Cherishing the friendship with my precious alumni is way more important than that...

~~[Somewhere, a certain crow is cackling.]~~

I got it wrong? But I thought "stimulating your brain directly to induce a forced state of arousal" might not be compatible with your youkai magic, so it seemed like the next best guess...

[... Oh. No, wait,]

So it's only when there's dinner, too?

[How is any of that any good?]

Akira-kun.... Remind me to have a serious word with Makoto-kun about your morals again. Generally it's never good to have "forced" and "arousal" in one sentence. Unless you are looking to widen your horizon by being arrested by the police.

[ ..... ]

5 star menu, full courses, and there better be some more-than-first-class luxury bed and breakfast included as well. Then I'll consider it. While we're at it, throw in a private pool as well.

Do you think he'd let me try out his handcuffs??

[But shouldn't it be fine if it's just brain surgery? ... Maybe they're not on the same page anymore. ~~As if it was ever the same book to start.~~]

That sounds easy enough to get, but, Principal, you must have a hard time if there's so many factors to meet all at once. Is it a hormonal imbalance? I don't mind running a few tests to find out. Free of charge, of course.

I'm honestly more amazed that you haven't done that already.

[Good on Makoto-kun for being able to say no and put his foot down, tho. (Sorry doctor, for whatever weird reason there's no volume of Gray's Anatomy in Douman's porn library.)]

Thanks, but this is just me being picky in my old age. I'm willing to be flexible if some other conditions are met, but overall I just like to get as much out of a good thing as I can. It's just a Nurarihyon thing. [~~Easy to say if you're the only one.~~]

[That.. makes sense, actually.]

I see. So for some of us, our species' influence even reaches that far! If we take common stories into account, an interest in freeloading could be seen as a biological imperative for you. It would be unusual if you didn't enjoy it.

[But do the available records really predate and drive the principal's actions, or are they all just stories of him? ... With the latter being more likely, maaybe he'll hold off on asking for now. Instead,]

I wonder if being a first generation affects the strength of your instincts. It's something I can't experience for myself, so I'm curious. Even though I'm a dodomeki, I wouldn't say I'm particularly aroused by the idea of digging up-- [... That's not true.] I mean, I haven't put too much thought into my own preferences. I wonder if I have any kinks! How did you discover yours? Can you tell mine?

[Can anything qualify as one, when he's so equally excited by everything at once?]

F- I'd consider it a taste in luxury and being a free spirit, rather. .... [Damn, talk about being called out right again -!! He's just an opportunist, is that really so bad??

Thank god Akira-kun doesn't launch into full examination mode for once. Although now that he's thinking about it, that's also somewhat worrying. ~~What are you planning, doctor?~~]

....I was told that my drive is something else, even before I was turned- Before I became a youkai. It was never really about money, though. [The only use most luxuries have for him is to establish his social rank and to finance being able to support those dependent on him. Which is quite a sum, considering how huge his school has gotten.] If I had to guess, maybe it's learning about new things for you? You always seem the happiest when there is a new unknown that you can delve in.

I realized mine mostly by becoming unexpectedly happy when doing something.

[Will be slow until tomorrow, but will tag back for sure since I'm trying to get back into the groove with him! Cross-canon and media welcome!]

[He loves guns and always smells a little like blood, but that's it. He swears that he's normal.]

Hmm... maybe wrestling? I could see that. Has roughhousing ever got you goin', Epel ~?

[ Don't see through him so easy!? ]

... Maybe.

[ He crosses his arms. ]

You probably like your ears touched or something.

[ Oho, nailed it. But he's seen too much of him at club practice not to know; the kid's got spunk! ]

Weeell... "maybe".

[ One of those ears gives a little flick. ]

Depends who's doing the touching.

[ Epel wishes his face warming up in a flush wasn't completely giving him away. ]

What makes a difference in the who?

How well I know 'em. Even then I wouldn't want somebody grabbin' one outta the blue, but I think that goes for most beastmen.

[ He refocuses on Epel's reddened face, and his teasing smile rises into his eyes. ]

... You want a feel, huh?

[ It's not like he was gonna randomly touch it but he'd been thinking about it so he still feels mildly chastised. ]

Yeah... I mean I'm curious if they feel as nice as they look.

Heh. Flattery won't get you everywhere, but in this case...

[ Epel's being a lot cuter about touching him than, say, one of his Pomefiore seniors was. Ruggie angles and inclines his head slightly to offer an easier reach for his ear. His soft, furry ear. ]

You can find out as long as you keep it between us, alright?

[ He doesn't need it going around that he gives out freebies! ]

[ Epel looks surprised but then he smiles brightly reaching out instantly to give his ear a good rub. ]

I won't tell anyone that they feel this nice.

[ He's that happy about getting to pet him, huh. Before Epel's hand even makes contact the targeted ear turns itself slightly, but not to escape. Ruggie remains still as it's rubbed, the stimulation sending a tiny, almost imperceptible shudder of pleasure over him. ]

... mh, thanks, but I meant the part about me letting ya touch. Don't wanna give anyone ideas, y'know?

I won't tell anyone, I promise.

[ Epel doesn't really want to let go of the ear, rubbing it a little longer. And he does pick up that Ruggie did seem to like it. ]

I really like how it feels.

[ All things considered this is probably a gimme. ]

[Prior CR only, plz.]

Edited 2025-05-22 03:19 (UTC)

Me.

[ Simple, short, sweet. Confident and matter of fact about it. ]

Can a whole person be a kink? [He's grinning, only barely containing a laugh.]

Sure, because you're mine, too.

[ He cannot overstate exactly how much he does not want to fuck, unless it's Bob. The shit he says for appearance change nothing. That's a kink, right? Who cares if it's a wholeass person. ]

Edited 2025-05-22 03:29 (UTC)

I... can admit- [He nods and shrugs a bit, throwing his hands out in a wide shrug.] to being a little obsessed with you.

Yeah? Good.

That kind of self reflection always gets a treat.

[ A tilt of his head, with a slow smirk he can't stop - as if he's trying to. ]

For being a good boy.

[His eyes cut over toward Josh, a shy smile flickering across his face.]

What kind of treat?
Are there different options to choose from, or is it just a surprise?

You could always ask for what you want. Be specific about it.

As long as you're pretty and a little pleading, I can't see me not giving me whatever the fuck you want.

[ And the first part? It's not like Bob has to try, in his opinion. ]

You know I'm not good at being that direct. [He rolls his eyes and huffs a soft, amused note with a slight shake of his head.]

You really think I'm pretty? [Beat.] Besides the abs?

Sweetheart, your face could win a thousand wars. Troy was lost over much less.

[ He'll let the rest drop - or at least not press for the demanded behavior. But he does touch his cheek. ]

You're not good at being direct, but don't ever hesitate to ask when it's important. I would give you the entire damn universe.

Sto-op. [He whines playfully, trying to hide the blush crawling across his cheeks.

He leans into that hand cupping his face without a second thought, though, ever-eager to soak up all of the affection he can.]

You’re a walking pick-up line, you know that? [He doesn’t try to hide the smile that brings to his face. He reaches up to frame Josh’s face with both hands, closing what little space remains between them with a soft, sweet kiss.] Just… stay. Stay with me.

See, you tell me to stop and then you blush like that. What's a guy got to do? Restraint ain't the way here.

[ Is he a walking pick-up line? He just likes earning a reaction, especially the good ones. And that kiss is definitely one of the good ones. ]

Staying isn't optional. I'm doing that no matter what, you know?

[ No, he probably doesn't know, because they are so damn similar and it took him so long to accept that Bob wasn't leaving, either. He decides to show rather than tell, holding him really close without hesitation. ]

Why do you like it so much? [He presses his forehead against Josh’s and grins.

That grin softens at the edges when Josh wraps around him.] Good— then, we’re on the same page.

[He can't resist the impulse to kiss him again, so he steals a quick one.]

Hey, I don't know. [ Asking him to explain why he likes something? You might as well ask him about some astrophysics shit, too. You'll get just as competent an answer.

But if Bob was betting on that kiss staying quick, then he didn't consider Josh, because he lingers as long as he's allowed. He can tease him more in a second. ]

[The lingering earns him a soft hum, and then he sinks further against Josh, fingers curling into the material of his shirt, as if to be sure he can’t go anywhere— even if they have already established that’s not on the table for either one of them.

One hand snakes up his shoulder and the back of his neck and into his hair, fingers seeking short ends to twist among themselves. ]

[ That sort of need to cling to him, be in his presence? After a lifetime of the treatment he's gotten, it's absolutely intoxicating. Maybe he's trading one addiction for another, but he didn't care about being addicted to substances and alcohol, he doesn't mind this, either.

Especially because it comes with the benefit of being able to uplift someone who seriously deserves it. He continues the kiss, thinks about the way their bodies match together - he has to break it off for a breathless, giddy laugh. ]

You know what you're turning my kink into? Tall men who don't know they can use it against me.

That sounds… like a very niche sort of kink. [He nods a little, grin split across his face.] Very specific.

Really, more people aren't into this? Seems like a problem for them to deal with.

[ He leans in again, close enough to share breath, hooking two fingers into Bob's belt loops and idly tugging. ]

I know what I'm not missing out on, even if nobody else does.

I don’t know- [He chuckles lightly and lets it get lost somewhere inside Josh’s mouth as he closes what little space was left between them.

His fingers seek whatever he can grasp— hand, jacket, shirt collar, he just wants to be closer, somehow, impossibly.]

I know. I know it better than I've known anything in my entire fucking life, because I know you, and I'm never going to do anything but love that for me.

[ He considers the shared sentiment they have of wanting to be closer, and regards the wall that just happens to be nearby. Before he's even aware of what he himself is doing, he's putting strength into something between crowding into him and a shove, trying to put Bob right up against it.

Yeah, that'll work. ]

Knowing you has been pretty fucking exceptional for me, you know? [Oh, it'll work just fine, indeed.

Hmm. Yes. He likes this one- he likes it a lot, actually, if the way one of his legs curls around the back of Josh's knee is anything to judge by.]

Hi... [He breathes out softly in greeting. He smiles, a little shyness crawling into it now; he can't escape that too-watchful gaze at all now, not this close.

His tongue darts out across his lips and he looks up at Josh through his lashes.] Your eyes are so pretty...

I guess? [ He can't help but chuckle at that, low in his throat. ] It's probably fair if I have one pretty feature in exchange for all of your everything.

[ He keeps the hand he used to shove right on Bob's shoulder, but the other one goes up. He touches his face, caressing along the cheekbone. ]

Long lashes, cute face. [ His fingers trail down slowly, then trace the shape of his lips. The touch is light as a feather. ] Everything's perfect - you really don't understand you change my world with a smile.

[ He pulls his hand away and leans in, pressing their foreheads together. ]

Hey there, gorgeous. Having a decent day?

[He leans into that hand at his cheek like a plant seeking sunlight, soaking up all of the affection that he can every single time it’s presented to him.]

You flatter me too much. [He murmurs softly, a quiet little huff of amusement escaping him.]

All that, from one little smile?

[He resists the urge to whine at the loss of contact when Josh drops his hand away from his cheek. He replaces it by crowding his space and pressing their foreheads together and Bob can’t help the small smile that cracks across his face at the question.]

Can’t complain- [He grins, stealing a kiss from him because he’s too close not to now.]

Little? Not exactly, not when every I see it, I feel like everything is went through might have been worth it. Because if I hadn't, we wouldn't have met in that damn place and I wouldn't get to see every time I make you even slightly happy.

[ He's not going to complain about that kiss. But with such close proximity, more than they've managed before, he's feeling the stirs of a certain beast inside. The only thing keeping it at bay is all the sentiment feelings, but when the kiss is over, he can't resist what he's always trying to not give into - pushing his face against his throat and inhaling.

The noise he made at that wonderful smell was probably criminal. An inner chant swells in his thoughts: don't bite, don't claim, keep the silly mood going.

It's probably too late for that. ]

[He can’t help being so eager to kiss and touch and tease and explore because— god, this man knows exactly all the best right things to say to turn him into putty in his hands. It’s so nice to hear all of that charm directed at him and know it isn’t just a line, no matter how Hollywood his mouth is sometimes.

When Josh presses his face into the hollow of his neck, he earns a soft gasp from Bob, fingers reaching, seeking purchase on whatever he might be able to immediately grab– arm, hand, jacket… just has to keep going, keep touching and holding and keeping him tied right here with him. ]

If it’s… permission you’re waiting for— [He murmurs his words right into Josh’s ear, breath warm and ghosting over the shell of his ear as he speaks.] Don’t draw blood? But… you can bite me— [As if to punctuate the point, he nips playfully at Josh’s ear.]

[ He makes a surprised nose at the nip, he's more than a little into it. Now that the permission has been given for him to use his own teeth, there's no possibility of resisting anymore. He grunts, low and deep and dark like a coffee. ]

Gonna have to be careful... Could tempt the beast that way.

[ Could he just lose all control? He knows he always comes back later, but that doesn't change the things done while he's not really him. He exhales in both frustration and pure want. ]

Here?

[ He draws his mouth above his pulsepoint, then comes at it with something that definitely resembles the bite of a creature. He licks over the area with his tongue, to soothe it, then bites a little harder once more.

There's no blood. He's careful to follow anything Bob asks of him. ]

I'm not scared of you. [He reaches up to drag his fingers through Josh's hair.] I trust you.

[He gasps softly and closes his eyes, a soft hum of approval when he asks- words do not exist for him right now, he couldn't even tell anyone his own name if asked.]

[ Is his mouth being very 'Hollywood' right now? The thing keeping him from going too far into that other side is being aware of how much he cares about this man. But he's definitely into what's happening on some primal level that doesn't belong to his original species.

But his mouth has been mentioned, simply because teeth are getting a little sharp, a little more present. The left side of his mouth is starting to be split by new ones, appearing going all the way into his cheek. He doesn't notice. It's something approximate to this.

So he doesn't hold back when he bites a pattern, he's not aware of the differences so he's not accommodating them. It's surely a different feeling to receive this than it was a second ago. ]

Edited 2025-05-24 17:38 (UTC)

[His mouth is being very distracting right now, actually. So it could be argued that is very Hollywood of him, if arguments were a thing he could make at all right now. As it is, he is far too focused on the press of Josh's body against his, on the scrape of teeth against skin.

Teeth that feel... different, suddenly, he realizes.]

You got razor blades in there? [He asks with a soft huff of amusement; not that he thinks he's drawn blood, though the pleasure and pain receptors in his brain get pretty scrambled sometimes? So maybe he wouldn't notice as readily, anyway.]

[ Realizing what's happened is like a bucket of cold water being dumped over him, running icy tendrils over his spine. Quick check: has he drawn blood? No, and thank fuck for that, because he might actually lose it for a second if he did. Nobody needs that.

He stops using his teeth but doesn't pull away, just kind of hides his face against Bob's neck while he tries to concentrate on putting everything back the way it's supposedly normal. He has no idea if it's working. ]

...

[ There's nothing to say, really? Just only hoping he can assert things before he gets noticed too much. ]

[Luckily for Josh, the press of his face into Bob’s neck is practically divine right this very moment, a soft, contented little hum escaping his lips.

One hand slides out of Josh’s hair to slip down to curl gently around his cheek instead. There is a disconnect between what he had expected and what he was feeling against his palm and thumb as he drags it lightly against what should have been the high arch of cheekbone. It felt… rougher than he’d expected. Almost like the newly-healed wound where a scar was starting to form.]

Josh…? [Nothing is exactly put together— he doesn’t even really have the right pieces to make the proper picture— but it does feel… different. He doesn’t even know if wrong is the right word. Different is true and neutral without negative connotations attached to it at least… ]

... okay.

[ He can see that this isn't good back, not without any help. He exhales sharply and then settles back on the balls of his feet.

He looks almost like he's admonishing himself for whatever this is. It's a good guess to his inner mental state about what's happening, what he simply can't put away.

He's not a wolf or wearing a red hood, no 'my what teeth you have ' should be coming into play right now. Fuck. ]

I'm okay. Just a damn weirdo, as much as I've always been.

Hey… [He reaches idly to catch Josh’s wrist between his fingers. The tug is gentle, not enough to topple him or yank him back toward him, just enough to be a silent request to stay close.

Because this isn’t the moment everything starts to crash and burn like Josh may be expecting.]

We listen and we don’t judge… [Something he’d started saying as a joke, echoing one of his several therapists through the years, but somewhere along the way, it became a real thing he tried to live by.]

Talk to me… [He squeezes gentle where his fingers are still looped around his wrist, his thumb rubbing gently against the inside. A soothing, calming thing, done at an even, steady rhythm.]

[ Josh is quickly realizing it's not that moment but it doesn't stop his his heart from racing. Any adrenaline is bad at the moment and he places his free hand over his face to try to hide any further changes. Particularly ones where his face splits a little more or his eyes start to lose anything but being pure, milky white.

He doesn't pull away the wrist that's being touched. He couldn't bear to part from that right now, the simple connection is keeping him sane. ]

My parents fucked over an entire people. Their spirits got them back by taking their children, I guess?

How… did they do that? [It somehow doesn’t shock him as a possibility, only confuses him to try to figure out the logistics. Nothing he’s heard about anyone in Josh’s family besides the twins was good, really. They both drew the short straws on family. Gross.]

Taking you how? You’re right here… [Not completely human, but… who is, these days?]

Sure, I'm here, but do I look right?

[ He uncovers his face and - it's not great, but he's managed to stabilize it in some sense of the word. Sure, he's on the edge of wanting to taste blood from some source immediately. But as long as he makes sure to bite his own lip - and he definitely does this - the taste of his own blood kind of keeps it at bay. ]

I'm not the same guy you met in that group. Never gonna be again.

[As he drops his hand away from his face, Bob looks up curiously at him. He doesn’t let go of the wrist between his fingers, but with his other hand, he reaches up, carefully tracing his fingers over the fractured edges of his face. His touch is gentle and feather-light, but pleasantly curious as well.]

Does it hurt? [He asks, voice whisper-quiet.]

Edited (Icon lmao) 2025-05-28 13:17 (UTC)

Yeah.

[ He's not going to hide that fact, it would be counterproductive. But he still can't help but sigh and lean into that touch. ]

But a lot of the pain is because of what I can't allow myself to do.

So this… [That sigh seems to breathe straight through Bob, somehow.] is this what you meant, about a… beast? A- monster? [He continues to trace his fingers lightly against the new lines and breaks in his cheek.]

Things like… what, exactly? [He has a couple of ideas, just wants to see if he’s anywhere near right.]

Almost. This isn't really it. It gets a hell of a lot worse. But I'm constantly working on holding that off. I can't stand to see it and I'm not really in my right mind that way.

[ He shakes his head at the question, not sure how honest he can bear to be. But as long as he continues being touched, that helps, and the cracks are fading. ]

Bloodlust. Anger. Pure passion. Yeah, I even want to fuck like this, and hard.

That sounds… exhausting, if I’m honest.

But you do, control it, don’t you? Or is it more of a precarious balance than all that?

[He moves to twine his fingers with Josh’s— something about the contact seems to be helping. He slides a thumb gently against the side of Josh’s hand.]

Would it help to… you know, indulge a little? [“I’m literally battling bloodlust constantly.”
“Oh… want some of mine?”

Is probably not how Josh expected this conversation to go but here we are!]

[ He's torn between fighting his prime impulses and enjoying the feeling of those touched against his hand. It means he's so distracted, it takes a moment for what Bob said to kick in.

And even then, he doesn't really get it, as shown by the bewildered hesitant in his eyes and voice. ]

In - indulge?

[What interrupted him there was a noise somewhere between a stutter and an outright squeak. Goodness. ]

Yeah, like a snack to tide you over from being ravenous. [Yes, he did kind of just call himself a snack, thanks for noticing!]

You're extremely delicious, sure, but I don't want to hurt you.

And I haven't eaten anything in over two years, because I refuse to do this. It's not affecting me too bad, I think?

[ And suddenly there is an explanation for his particularly circumstances, all of his low body temperature and weight.

Anyway, he is clearly a man in denial of his own issues, or what he's actually been doing to himself. ]

I don’t think you would hurt me. [Maybe that’s a dangerous amount of trust to lay at his feet, but… it’s how he feels.

Things keep slotting into place now, piece by piece, giving him new perspectives on old information.]

Two years is a long time, Josh… is that really- yanno- sustainable? Don’t want you to just wither away. [He doesn’t question any of it. The fact that he isn’t human, the fact that he has somehow survived for two years without food. It’s just a new piece of information they Bob files away in the box in his mind labeled Joshua W..]

You're asking me to use you as a bit of a food source. How could that not hurt you?

[ He's so bewildered, down to his very bones. As for the rest, well - he smiles without humor. ]

Could be withering away. You haven't seen me without a shirt in awhile, have you? Maybe I'll show you and you can tell me if the change is as bad as I feel it is.

[ He shakes his head. No, he doesn't actually want to put him through judging that. ]

I've tried to eat. Anything processed comes up. Can't make myself eat a human. Feed Hannah raw deer I hunt but can't even cross that line myself - pathetic, honestly.

Pain isn’t… always necessarily a bad thing? [Don’t judge him thx!!!]

Only if you want to. No pressure, okay? [He reaches up to draw his thumb across Josh’s lips.] You never have to do anything you don’t want to… not ever.

You aren’t pathetic— [He follows the arch of Josh’s cheek with his thumb.]

We’ll figure it out. You shouldn’t have to starve yourself…

[ He's not judging. If anything, it's the one thing that might make this okay in his head. The comforting touches sure help a lot as well. ]

... If it might not be a bad thing...

[ Is he really going to say this? Damm, he's just going to blame those teeth, even while relaxing from the stress is arranging his face more back to human. ]

You'd have to promise to say the second it's too much. Fucking swear about it.

Of course, babe… I won’t let you hurt me… but I also trust that you just… wouldn’t, anyway. I know you, and I know that you’re pretty intense and maybe some people aren’t built for the kind of love you have for them. But… I was. I am.

I’ve never been as obsessed with someone as I am with you. Which isn’t exactly a… sane thing to say, but- I- just… tell the truth. That’s why people like me, I think, once they give me a chance.

'Pretty intense'. [ He has to laugh at that and the sound might just be a little hysterical. He forces it to stop bubbling out after a moment though and nods. ]

I don't care about what's sane. I care about having you and everything you'll give me. Maybe that means I'm intense, maybe that means you're obsessed to be willing to give it. Who cares?

We work. Every time you call me a pet name in return, every time you value me even a little - I just want to give you the entire universe and destroy all the people who hurt you before. It wasn't the truth telling that made me give you a chance, it was your eyes, and I've never regretted it once.

[ He fidgets with his own collar. For the first time in over two years, he's feeling hot and he's not sure what to do with it. ]

You know it was my birthday recently, right? I didn't really tell you. Felt like I was already getting everything good from you, it'd be greedy to ask for even one more drop. But if you're going to give me this -

[ Yeah. He's blazingly hot, he simply can't concentrate past the fact Bob's pulse is getting really loud in his ears. It should be his own, but he's not getting ready to make a taste of a meal from himself, is he? Damnit, he has to think. He expresses a rough, frustrated noise deep in his throat, like gravel. ]

Let's go somewhere a little more private. You pick wherever. Okay?

[ He can't think well enough to come up with a place. He's so overheated. ]

Edited 2025-05-28 18:45 (UTC)

Sweetheart, you’ve got all of me. Curves, edges, and perfect imperfections. [Maybe Josh can sound like a movie at the drop of a hat; Bob can occasionally speak lyrically when moments click together just so.]

I don’t need the universe. I just need you, and the team- everything else is just bonus material for me, okay? [He reaches up to drag his hand through Josh’s hair, twisting short ends near the nape of his neck between his fingers.

At the admission about what had first caught his attention, Bob gets a little bashful.] My eyes? Why- what’s special about them? [He knows, quite well in fact, that as a general rule, Josh is like… President and Creator of the Bob Reynolds Deserves Better Things Club, and has frequently told Bob that he is, in no uncertain terms or particular order: special, amazing, perfect, and other highly questionable adjectives that Bob could never accept coming from anyone else.]

No, you jerk- [He shoves his shoulder— a gentle, teasing thing with no real heat or intention behind it.] you’ve never told me when it is.

We get somewhere more private, I’ll try to make up for not knowing when it was your birthday. [He murmurs directly into his ear, a secret just for the two of them.]

What's so special about them? [ There he goes, repeating Bob's words again - but he's just so incredulous that the guy doesn't understand what's important about his own eyes. As the self declared President of every club that possibly involves showing Bob he deserves good things, he can't let this stand. But he's a little distracted by the whisper in his ear that follows, he's always weak to stuff like that. ]

May 25. Do you even know how old I am now? Hah.

Your eyes are special because you don't hide anything from them, you couldn't even try. I can read everything about you like a book, and a prettily illustrated one at that.

[ He considers that secret he was told again and he's just as caught on it as the first time. He grabs his hand firmly and, without any further thoughts or comments, is just shameless about trying to drag him to the room he's been given at the Tower.

It's nothing big or special, but it's his and has nothing to do with his family. Therefore it's a heavenly place to take this man that he loves. ]

[There's always this certain level of disbelief in Josh's voice when he realizes that Bob doesn't see the good, or the importance, of anything about himself, or his life. Like, he's just utterly shocked that Bob can't see the perfect Adonis that he is. It's... a little heady, in its own way.]

What- uh...no. I don't think I do... [He laughs a little and looks sheepishly at him.] I'm sorry, that's awful, I feel terrible. I'm such an idiot.

[As soon as the words come out of his mouth, he knows it will be admonished- he just can't help it. The defeatist self-talk is his default wiring after all this time.

He looks appropriately shy when the real answer to his question comes along.]

You talk like poetry feels- have I told you that before?

[He doesn't resist when Josh slides his hand into his, or when he starts tugging him along. He just grins and follows dutifully; there was never any other place he wanted to be anyway.]

Edited (html will be the death of me... lmao) 2025-05-29 03:19 (UTC)

If I talk like poetry feels, I'll apply it right now to help you know better than to call yourself an idiot.

You're not an idiot for not knowing something I deliberately didn't told you. Or did I miss that serum making you psychic? You should probably be a part of the X-men then, you think?

[ He stops walking and just takes the opportunity to lean on him, looking him right in the eye from up close. ]

I'm 23. It's weird to think about. I lost my sisters at 19 and everything went to hell since - but I got to meet and keep you, so I'm not changing shit.

Sure, I'd love it if Beth was here and Hannah wasn't whatever the fuck she is now. But you make taking another few breaths worth it.

[He laughs softly.] No- I'm not psychic. Not like that- though... I guess you could classify the Void Rooms as a sort of subset under psychic stuff?

[He will never get tired of the way Josh is so... tactile. Always finding ways, reasons, excuses to touch him, to lean against him, to just forever be in his space. Bob is pretty sure, at least in part, it is little more than heat-seeking behavior sometimes, but whatever it is? He likes it, and he hopes it never stops.]

So much has happened since then... [And so little still has changed, really, too] ...Does that mean I met you right after you lost the twins?

I kind of want to see those rooms but I also know I definitely couldn't handle it. I'm not doing that to either of us.

[ It's definitely heat-seeking, the way he's forgetting they were actually headed somewhere. He's just going to tuck himself under his chin, scoot in close and enjoy the warmth Bob is putting off. ]

Yeah. Maybe a few months at the most?

I don't want to take you in there, milashko. [He really does like the way that one feels in his mouth; he's glad Yelena had given him that one.

He nods a little; he thought as much. That just means he's never known a Josh who hadn't already lost the most important parts of his life. It's a little sad to think there's a whole other version of him that never suffered that, but Bob will never know him now.

He doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't bother trying. Instead, he simply circles his arms around him as Josh shifts closer. He tips his head forward and presses a kiss into the younger man's hair and just lingers there like that. He lets out a soft, slow breath and lets one hand slide across his back in a slow, soothing manner.]

Yeah, you're not going to take me in there. Feel free to take me anywhere else, though. Might be hot, depending on what you're capable of handling.

[ The one thing that hasn't changed is Josh cannot stop running his mouth. But the translation is he appreciates his presence and he shows it by curling into him and finally falling quiet, just taking a moment to breath.

This kind of affectionate touch? It literally makes him purr from somewhere deep inside, now that he's some kind of possessed creature. But he always filters it out, doesn't notice it for himself.

Doesn't change the steady, fond commentary of that engine no pure human has, though. ]

Shut up. [He chuckles lightly and cinches his arms a little tighter around him, a nice little squeeze accompanying this time.

Bob doesn't actually notice it much at first- there are at least, like, three cats roaming around this place, purring isn't abnormal to hear--

Wait.

He hides a smile by rolling his lips together and shifting to press his cheek against the top of Josh's head. Listening harder now, he can tell the sound is, in fact, coming from Josh.

Oh, no.
Evidence of his inhumanity probably shouldn't be thought of as cute, huh?
Whoops...]

...babe? I think you're purring...

...what?

[ He looks absolutely indignant at his own body for daring to do such a thing. What the hell? He tries to put effort into making it stop but unfortunately for him, purring can happen because of annoyance, too.

So it's just stronger than ever. ]

Take me out back and shoot me.

[ Just casually wishing for death, typical Josh things. ]

[He still has his lips pressed together in hopes of hiding the smile that hasn't left his face since he realized what the sound was, and where it was coming from.]

Abso-fucking-lutely not. [He laughs softly, circling his fingers around Josh's wrist and pulling him in again.] It's kinda... sweet, you know?

No way. What's next, you're going to have to buy me treats? Provide enrichment so I don't go nuts?

[ Wait, all of that is happening anyway, isn't it? Especially if he gets convinced to feed off him again. He covers his eyes with his free hand and groans. ]

What the hell am I becoming... It's embarrassing.

Aww, come on. [He laughs softly, trying to tug that hand down away from his face.] It's not embarrassing. You're fine. [He tries to pull him in again, too.] You're still my scary dog privilege, okay? I promise.

Why does that actually make me feel better?

[ Not enough to stop pouting, but don't point that out, unless you want him begging to be shot again.

He allows his hand to be pulled away, settling in closer to him again. If he listens, that whole purr thing seems to have slowed down? So he's mollified for a moment and just relaxes, enjoying being close to him.

Until that makes the motor start again. He definitely doesn't miss it this time and pulls away with a groan. ]

Come on, man. Really?

I dunno, but I'll take it. [He grins a little. He's cute when he's pouty, but Bob will keep that fact to himself for the time being.

He sighs softly as Josh settles back against him again and it kind of... feels like all is right in the world again for a second.

Bob can't help the laugh that escapes at his reaction to hearing the purring gain volume again.]

No, no, nope- [He grabs his wrist and yanks him back against him once more.] C'mere. You're not taking cuddles away from me because you're embarrassed by a little noise.

[ Josh very deliberately crosses his eyes at him in annoyance, but it's all negative feelings for his own body, none for Bob. He settles against him once more but he's definitely back to pouting. It's blatant as hell. ]

Make it worth my while to be embarrassed, at least.

Oh, but aren't you the one who told me once- just being in my presence is worth all the gold in the world or something over-the-top like that? [He's teasing mostly, but he also thinks the only way Josh gets used to it is to... get used to it, and desensitize himself to that cozy rumble in his chest.

Bob is personally never going to stop absolutely fawning over the whole concept, even if he has to keep it contained in his own mind to keep from embarrassing Josh over it.]

... sounds like me. And I would know, since I can pretty much get a lot of gold if I want.

[ He glances left, glances right, tries to judge how alone they are. ]

Okay, at least, let's go somewhere more private. Like I dunno, we could watch something in the cinema room. Then I can get distracted by some bullshit movie while you enjoy the hell out of this.

It does, doesn't it? [He grins and watches the way his gaze darts around- he's feeling so conspiratorial already.]

Sounds perfect. [He grins again and threads their fingers together as they move through the hallways and head to the, thankfully, otherwise empty cinema room. Even better.

He lets Josh fuss with all the movie choosing and set up. What they throw on, Bob cares much less about than curling up with his boyfriend in an overstuffed, oversized comfy chair. A chair he's already chosen in the sea of choices in the room, socked feet already tucked under him while he waits to be joined.]

[ Josh is a hyperfixating kinda guy, which means the movie he puts on is the same exact one he demanded from Yelena on his birthday. The movie he's loved all his life, because it has everything - The Princess Bride. Once it's on, he comes at Bob in his chair and doesn't hesitate for even a second before just wholesale plopping down right in his lap.

He makes a show of adjusting and getting comfortable. ]

Sorry, I'm so, so heavy. It's got to be a problem for you, even with your new onset of super strength.

[ ... He's lost more weight. It's really not that funny. But it's a way to avoid being awkward. ]

[A classic, and a pick that Bob will be delighted about once it starts.

He doesn’t have a single complaint about Josh dropping into his lap. His arms snake around him and he hooks his chin in Josh’s shoulder.]

Shut up.

[He worries about the weight loss, when does it become untenable? How long can he last the way he’s been going? What happens when he can’t go further?

All things he doesn’t want to think about right now. So, instead, he buries his face against Josh’s shoulder.]

You gonna make me?

[ He was really just joking around and trying to continue it, but he's getting more serious vibes off the way Bob is hiding his face. So he quickly changes his tune and drops it, putting a hand in his hair and petting gently. ]

Hey. What's up? You doing good?

Maybe.

[The quip comes so quick, he doesn’t even register the topic switch for a second or two.

He bites his lip. He considers waving it off, claiming everything is fine and… then he’s just feels bad about almost lying to him so: ]

You’re still losing weight, it’s- I’m just worried…

I'm trying, man. I can't eat anything processed. It's a fucking disaster that makes me look like I need an exorcism.

[ Okay, maybe not that bad, but. He sighs, hyper aware of his own body. He wants to cuddle into him, but he doesn't want to remind Bob of what he's worried about. Should he get up? He doesn't want to at all. ]

Pretty much the only success I've had is you. I can't just put you through that.

I know, babe… I’m just- you know me, I’m gonna worry even if I don’t need to.

[He tightens his hold on him at the sound of that sigh and presses his forehead against the back of Josh’s neck. He drops a soft kiss there while he’s at it.]

I’ll do anything for you, you know? And I heal so much quicker now…

I'm not going to say you don't need to worry about this, that wouldn't be very self aware of me. [ It's not like he doesn't see himself when he looks in the mirror - he's far from blind, especially now, especially at night. ]

I don't want you to get hurt for me. It doesn't matter if you're gonna heal fast, it's the fact its happening at all.

You'll do anything for me but I'm the same for you. That shouldn't include starving but the alternative feels worse.

[ Causing him pain was such a damn non option that it wasn't even funny. He simply makes a face and pushes the whole thing away from his conscience mind - or at least as much as he can manage. Which isn't very far, in the end. He might not be entirely human but he was like anyone else - far too concerned with the person he loves most to bother with himself much at all. ]

No, it wouldn’t be. Plus, it wouldn’t make me stop worrying, anyway.

[He sighs softly, frustrated at how little he can actually help, no matter how much he wants to. He mumbles: ] I knew you’d say that.

[He nuzzles some more at Josh’s neck.] I just don’t know what else to do, but we’ve got to find something that works… [His voice goes small and quiet: ] I don’t want to lose you…

[ Yeah, so that last declaration hits him a bit like a freight train and he's left thinking about the consequences of his own actions. With how uncomfortable this makes him, he mentally recoils right into trying to think of a solution. ]

So there is something that kinda works. At least I think it does? I've been keeping Hannah alive by feeding her raw deer. Shit I just killed for her.

I just don't eat any of it myself. It feels like combining hunting something and eating it would be the nail in the coffin of my humanity.

But maybe there's a way around it?

[He had wondered how he was feeding her, and it makes sense once he has an answer in hand- maybe this is actually something going in their favor for once?]

So maybe we give it a shot…?

I can't hunt it and eat it, I don't think. I can't cross that line.

And I can't really ask you to hunt it? That feels fucking terrible.

[ Look, it kills a little more of him inside every time the light goes out in the eyes of one of these animals. He's not passing the experience along. ]

Maybe raw cuts from a butcher?

[He doesn't know what other options there are.]

I don't think I'd be very good at hunting, actually.

I tried that with her. Even that was too old for her preferences.

Like, she'll eat it but it'll make her weak.

What other options are there, babe...? [He bites his lip and tries not to sound too worried. He didn't mean to turn the mood sour when they were supposed to be cuddling and watching a movie.]

Probably - just me hunting something down and someone being there to make sure I don't go too far and go after everything else?

[ 'Just'. Sure thing. ]

...is this the part where you tell me I'm absolutely not going to be the one that stays with you? Because I will. But it feels like a thing you're gonna argue against. [It becomes a matter of which thing Josh decides is more (most?) important, he thinks:

The trust he already has with Bob
VS
His (valid) concern about hurting him.

Bob has found that, even without being Sentry, some of the powers he has are a lot more... inactive than others? Like the healing factor. Which he hasn't forgotten about since he realized it was even a thing. He's going to use it to his advantage, he just... maybe has to find the right leverage to get Josh to agree to it.]

It's not like I haven't gone down this road of thought before. It's not new. But you're the only one who's seen any shade of what I could become and I don't want to risk hurting you.

So I end up deciding on nothing. But I can't decide that much longer, can I?

[ He's not committing, he's afraid to actually make the decision. He's going to need a little push. ]

It doesn’t seem like it, baby… [He hates it for him, wishes there was anything he could do to make it easier on him. But for now, he will do his best to help ease the pressure, and to offer distractions when needed.

He reaches up to draw his fingers through Josh’s hair. He keeps his rhythm slow and steady.] But you don’t need to do all this alone, okay? So, let me help. I’m here, and I think I’ve proven well enough I’m not going anywhere anytime without you.

I know. You don't need to prove it more.

[ He closes his eyes, leans into his touch a little. He just concentrates on that for a moment, and tries to keep his breath as calm as possible.

Hard with what they're talking about. Difficult with what he's about to mention. ]

I lost everyone else, you know? Outside this tower. Haven't talked to them in years. Hard when you grew up with the.

But I guess they figured me out.

( ...with all their late night texting talks, he has half a mind to think bob probably would just want to sit and talk with a stranger rather than do anything kinky, but sure, he'll. give this a shot. )

Um.

Probably something. Sweet? Like a praise kink. Or similar.

[It's honestly just habit at this point when he can't sleep to start asking his friends random questions. It's always an interesting time when he does.

He nods a little, musing that answer.] Praise kink tracks, honestly. I mean... [He shrugs, arms spread wide.] I'd want the Earth to swallow me whole while someone is complimenting me... but I think I'd like it?

Edited 2025-05-22 04:32 (UTC)

( bucky chuckles faintly, at the admission. ) Oddly relatable.

( though he doesn't intend to expand on what he means by that. )

I feel like you'd probably be into some pretty wild stuff also. ( offering an amused smile. ) Not that I'd be able to guess what, though.

Edited (idk why that was there still sorry) 2025-05-22 04:58 (UTC)

Yeah? [He huffs a soft, amused breath at that.] it’s just nice to be validated.

[He shrugs a little at that.]

What about me exactly strikes you that way? I’m just curious. [He’s not mad or upset, just amused.]

( he isn't sure if it's the validation alone, for him, but he's wary of admitting wanting anything too openly, as much as he has grown to trust that bob holds zero judgement and is always still willing to listen. for whatever reason.

that's not on bob, though. it's definitely more on him. )

Well, you carry a lot that you don't always talk about. Usually, that means there's something that you want but aren't willing to say.

( chuckling, ) I'm just assuming it's kinky, I guess.

I want to say something like... cock worship but I think you just like to be held.

like it's hard?

Izuku "Deku" Midoriya | MHA

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Let the awkward games begin??? Lol

Very much so haha;;

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john walker | mcu

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yelena belova | mcu

🍨

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steve rogers | mcu

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