bakerstreet | the island of misfit prompts.

(thank you

dyslexic for giving us this beauty)

Because sometimes you can't decide what meme to post to and you'd rather choose from a bunch of random prompts instead.

1. You're trapped in a McDonald's. It's only a matter of time until the McNuggets run out or the McFlurry machine breaks …
2. You're trapped in an elevator and it's like that M. Night Shamawhatever movie so the devil is haunting you in it and you're probably going to die.
3. You're trapped in one of those giant meat freezers and slowly freezing to death with the other person in the thread. Will you huddle together for warmth like Seth Green in that one move?
4. tfln. Every good random prompt meme needs tfln.
5. mpreg. See above. Aliens? Genetic mutations? That breeding stable meme redux? It happened, and now you've got to get your shit together.
6. You have a big secret to tell the other person and now is your only chance. You're probably on your deathbed idk.
7. You woke up naked in a hotel room with the other person and no clue how you got there. This is some The Hangover-type shit.
8. Kinky times. Because every random meme needs a smut prompt, too. Get your 50 Shades of Grey on.
9. Body horror. You and/or person b are mutating into a zombie/robot/vampire/furry/cthulu/etc. and it's freaky as hell.
10. Disney time. You and person b are now acting out the Disney movie of your choice.
11. Roadtrip! One car, one … cup?
12. Ghost, Patrick Swayze style. You or person b is a ghost, and now you're trying to communicate with them from the other side. (NO POTTERY.)
13. Human centipede. I'll leave this one up for interpretation.
14. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You and person b are both keeping huge secrets from each other, but one of you is getting ~~suspicious~~!
15. High school AU. What it says on the tin.
16. ZOMBIES!!!!!! Were you bitten? Are you hiding out in a shack somewhere in the middle of a post-apocalyptic wasteland?
17. A raccoon is trapped in the house and now you and person b have to figure out how the fuck to kill it.
18. You're dying a slow tragic death so you better get those last words the fuck out.
19. You're possessed by a ghost/demon/yeerk/whatever the fuck. Fight for dominance or … don't, no one actually gives a shit.
20. You're connected by a red string of fate to the other person and you follow it and find them ~~and hook up?~~

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[Sheila gets up from her seat shortly after Ash does, and she paces a bit, wringing her hands until he comes back.]

Flamethrow? [She stops in her tracks, head tilting to the side.]

[Ash just points to the grease-laden hose the kid's dragging behind him. That's years of deep fried fat,and all of it's gonna be expelled, flaming, through the hose and out the door, versus spilled all over the resteraunt.]

We use this and light it. That way the place stays whole and they go up like roman candles.

[That poor child. Sheila gives him a slight smile, one that's hopefully reassuring. She really doesn't know what else to do. Ash would whine if she verbally apologized for this insanity.]

Right. Of course. How shall I assist, m'lord?

[Ash takes the hose and approaches the glass.]

You get to light the match.\

[Her hand's small enough and less liable to be scorched when the counter dude lets 'er rip.]

Surely that is--

[Sigh. Whatever. Of course it's dangerous, but she just offered to help, didn't she? There's no backing down now.]

Aye, m'lord.

[Even though she oh so desperately wants to roll her eyes.]

[LIFE is dangerous, but he can't blame her for bringing it up.]

I'll be right behind you.

[Awkward gentle touching is awkward.]

[She knows how to use matches. Those are pretty easy. And it's not like he would let anything bad happen to her. The gentle touch is reassuring.

She just sighs and nods and holds out her hand for the matchbox. Once he hands them over, she'll take care of the rest.]

[No, he never would. ever.

He has to pluck it out with his metal hand, but he does manage to do it.]

Thank ye.

[She slips open the matchbox on her way to the front door, a look of pure determination on her face.]

C'mon then.

[And she strikes a match. Think of it as a test strike.]

[She's so sexy when she's thinky, okay? It gets her a look while Ash shoves the counterguy behind him before turning loose the hose.

It's worth noting that Deadites don't like burger grease.]

[This is dumb.

This is so dumb.

But the match is lit and she tosses it and - who's in the mood for Deadite BBQ? Delicious stuff.]

[Did you mean GLORIOUS, Sheila?

'Cause it's glorious.

He likes listening to them scream and may or may not be cackling manically while this goes down.

One stumbles into a parked jeep and manages to blow it up, pasting the entire group of them with gore, too.]

[No. Not at all.

She sighs, absentmindedly playing with the box of matches while she looks on at the truly horrendous scene. This is her life now. She'll never find amusement in watching things catch aflame and explosions and chaos and just - this. Ash and her are polar opposites that way.

Oh look - and now she's managed to ruin another dress.

An annoyed sigh.

She drops the matchbox and wordlessly trudges off to his car.]

[The counter kid is simultaneously pissing himself and puking; Ash slaps him on the back.]

Hey. Nice work. Uh...Might wanna go shut of the hose here...

[There aren't anymore Deadites - well - living Deadites. He has to wait awhile for the hose to die and the flame to do the same before rolling it up and putting it away. then he spies Sheila leaving.]

Wait up!

{The last thing he wants her to do is go alone.]

[It's not like she's gonna go anywhere. Sheila can't even drive. And the doors are locked. So she just stands at the passenger side door and pathetically tries to open it, pouting to herself.

She's just really upset about her dress okay.]

[Well, he keeps trying to convince her to, but she's never taken him up on the offer. Ash rolls his eyes when he catches up to her, then plunges the keys into the lock.]

D'you forget 'em at home?

Yes.

[Color her embarrassed. But - what's the point of having keys if you can't even drive? Everything is full circle here, man.

She'll just wait until he opens her door like the gentleman she knows he is deep down inside.]

[That doesn't matter to Ash - in his mind she ought to have them as a back-up. He does manage to unlock the door - from the inside.]

[Wordlessly, she slides into the passenger seat, not even bothering to fix her dress. It's as good as ruined so what's the point?

It takes her a moment, but she does remember her manners. She mumbles her thanks, clasping her hands in her lap.]

[It doesn't matter to Ash - he's more concerned about the interor of the car, which will have to be cleaned again. They're almost home when it finally occurs to him that she's pissed off.]

What's up your nose?

[Of course he cares about the car. Of course.]

Beg ye pardon? [She glances over at him, eyebrow quirking.]

[Hey, she's safe and not going Linda Blair on him. So naturally he's thinking of the car.]

Y'know, why're you so...mad?

[Eyes on the road, though he does take a microscopic glance at her features.]

Ashley, 'mnot... angry with ye. [Much.]

Just mourning the loss of yet another gown.

[Y'know. Just lady things.]

[Ash's features wrinkle.]

Yeah, well - I'll getcha a new one.

[Thongs and crop tops all the way, baby!]

Promise?

[Eyebrow.]

I can only repair clothing so many times.

(no subject)

boomsticking - 2013-10-16 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

ashsexual - 2013-10-16 04:08 (UTC) - Expand

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