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Post: a picture or description of your character’s crush or significant other. If they don’t have one, tell us their type, ideal gf/bf, or make up a celebrity or fictional crush for them! Headcanon your heart's desires.
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Comments

[outplayed]

... You're making it sound like I don't have your permission to date, Ness.

[ that was an important comma for the clarity of that statement which probably isn't quite as clear-cut when the words are being spoken out loud. still yeah, ness is right about all of that too! 10 points out of 10. ]

[simpings]

[ it does take him a second but thankfully, common sense tells him there's a comma there. ]

Well? You don't.

[ a beat, smiling then. ]

I'm saying this as your manager, of course.

[outplayed]

You do a little too much given what I pay you.

[ every day kaiser lives with insufficient gratitude that ness will probably never realize that if he asserted himself with a bit more forcefulness on the matter, kaiser might actually listen, a thought which disgusts himself! ]

Fine, then under what conditions will I be relinquished from this dating ban?

[simpings]

[ he knows — he knows kaiser inside out, of course he knows he responds to roughness. ness actively chooses not to, because...... ew?? kaiser listening to others??? it disgusts both of them ngl. ]

...Do you want to date?

[ wait. he needs names. he can't kill noa with his own hands but yoichi's doable if it comes to it. he's thinking of a plan already. ]

[outplayed]

[ true! he deserves to live the independent life of a deranged and unsocialized cat that somebody found in a dumpster. ]

You answer my question first, then I'll answer yours. 'Cause you're making it sound like it depends on who I say I want to date...

OUGH u saw nothing......

[simpings]

Then... I guess you're right.

I don't think I want to lift this dating ban at all, no matter what. Dating won't benefit you in any way, after all.

yes mr wizard boy my eyes were closed

[outplayed]

What if my performance deteriorates because I'm frustrated and horny?

[ if this implies something unflattering about what he thinks the point of dating is: no it doesn't. ]

[simpings]

[ ...............wow. ]

Deal with it the same way other single people do.

[ WIH YOUR HANDS. ]

[outplayed]

One night stands?

[ he's kidding. probably. ]

[simpings]

...Sure, one-night stands.

[ rolling his eyes (mentally). ]

I'm sure that's what Isagi does, too.

[ OBVIOUSLY he gets laid (eyeroll x2!!!!) ]

[outplayed]

You said it, not me. [ and why are YOU thinking about isagi getting laid... no, he shalln't say it. ] So who am I permitted to have one night stands with? As my manager.

[simpings]

[ okay he's starting to Not Like this topic at all. ]

You can't have any. And you'll be fine without it.

[outplayed]

[ yes... but kaiser is starting to really enjoy it. ]

And how could you possibly know that? I've already compromised so much [ by saying he won't do things he wouldn't have done in the first place, ] shouldn't you do the same?

[simpings]

...Kaiser.

[outplayed]

Ness...

[ "why are we saying each others' names? kinda gay tbh" says the guy making it gay. ]

[simpings]

...If you don't want me to be your manager, I don't have to be.

[ that's... easier to say than "stop telling me you want to sleep with other people please" :( ]

[outplayed]

I'm being very manageable right now and asking, aren't I? Is that not what you want?

[ very demure... very manageable. definitely not dangling a juicy piece of bait. ]

[simpings]

[ .......yeah. maybe isagi isn't so bad. maybe passing to him one day won't be the worst, actually— ]

...I don't want you sleeping with anyone.

[ happy? ]

[outplayed]

Mmhm. [ because he knew that, yeah. ] Is that it? Nothing else you want from me?

[ just checking! ]

Guess I'll have to get a fucking cumrag or something... [ he's kidding. ]

[simpings]

I don't know what you're expecting me to say, but yes, that's it.

[ and don't tell him about the cumrag either??? who do you think cleans his room smh ]

[outplayed]

Nothing in particular... it's just that if you say something that I don't expect, then I at least want it to be in response to something I asked.

[ because it's the least likely circumstance to catch him by surprise... ]

[simpings]

If I told you what you wanted to hear, it would lead nowhere, and it'd be awkward, so instead you should trust me with our... friendship.

I'm doing everything I can to keep it as it is, since that's what's most convenient for you. And for me.

[ the last part might not entirely be true, but if he didn't add it, he'd run the risk of kaiser asking "what about you". at least this way he covers all his bases. ]

[outplayed]

Hmm... I wonder what in the world you could possibly mean by that. [ don't make him laugh like for real... it ruins his image to give off the impression he can feel genuine joy. ] Sometimes you can be so fucking precious, Ness.

[ you know, like cute (derogatory). ]

Sure. Let's say that's the most convenient for you and for me, then.

[simpings]

[ he's used to being talked down to, but not in this way. this way kind of pisses him off. ]

...Okay. You know best after all, Kaiser.

[ calling kaiser smart as an insult, maybe. just a little. ]

[outplayed]

What's your problem, huh?

[ in contrast to the aggressive choice of words, though, kaiser just seems... pleased with himself. he's smiling in a smug way, the kind of expression of somebody who thinks they're about to get what they want. ]

I'm doing what you want. That's all I've been doing this entire time, it's really praise-worthy being this amenable. [ crazy that he would insist he deserves a compliment for this behavior! ]