bakerstreet | drunk as a skunk

drunk as a skunk

meme

Them rule things
1. Post with your name and fandom and preferences
2. You (or the responder or both) are drunk as a dunk
3. RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR
4. Stay cool, you crazy cats.

SCENARIOS
1. Dragged away from the bar
Dude, it's totally time to put that glass down ok. And because I am an awesome friend, I am going to do you the favor.

2. Strip poker
Yeah, well. There's been worse ideas hasn't there?

3. Gone streaking
So you're feeling groovy and hot because you are hot, duh. Time to let it all hand out, man.

4. Friendly Terrorism
What's a little eggs and toilet paper on your best friend's car hurt?

5. Bar fight
YOU KNOW WHAT, SCREW YOU BUDDY. I WANT ANOTHER ROUND.

6. Obligatory one night stand
Yeah, well. Shit happens.

7. Dancing in the streets
Like streaking except more ridiculous unless you're David Bowie and Mick Jagger.

8. Terrible Karaoke
You knew this was coming.

9. Chug off
ACTUALLY I AM NOT DRUNK ENOUGH SO BRING IT

10. WHO KNOWS
You're just drunk, man. Roll with it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[ Seeings as amnesia isn't immediate grounds for house arrest, he's not opposed to going out and trying to figure things out on his own. Explore the town. See if anything clicks.

He wasn't expecting to have to try and pry the town sheriff (and apparently more to him, though the details are sketchy at best) away from what looks like the last in a long line of drinks. ]

Hitting the juice kind of hard there, aren't you?

[It was smart, going to The Rabbit Hole instead of Granny's. Emma feels like she fell down one now, because it's clear that her life has been turned upside down by the constant bullshit and bickering with Regina, and there's no sign that the bitch is going to stop anytime soon. Gold doesn't know (and doesn't care) how to fix it. Regina is gleeful to have gotten a rise out of her.

If she's keeping score, it goes something like this; Neal - engaged. Graham - dead. August - ceased to exist. Jefferson - amnesia.

So yes, there's alcohol. And no, she hasn't had enough of it. She knows the voice as soon as she hears it, though the tone is just a little off. Jefferson would be concerned, but this guy is just curious. She barely glances his way before she shrugs.]

I'm fine.

[Now go away.]

Yeah, you look it.

[ He's a little concerned, but the lady is the sheriff, and wears that 'I'm a bad-ass now out of my way' vibe like a favorite dress. She can handle herself, or he's going to assume she can. It's her business if she's going to drink herself into a pile on the floor.

Doesn't mean he can't stick around and watch. ]

I take it that whole going-to-talk-to-people didn't go all that well.

You're right, it didn't.

[But she wasn't expecting it to, she just thought it might make her feel better to try. It didn't, she feels worse knowing how hopeless the whole thing is. If Gold could fix it, Belle would have her memories back, and he's as depressed about his girlfriend as she is about Jefferson.

They'll find a way eventually, and until then, she'll just have to learn not to care.]

There's nothing new to report.

[Now take the hint and leave while she knocks back another shot.]

I didn't really think it'd be a one-day fix.

[ He watches her slug back that shot before motioning to the bartender. He'll take what she's having. Hell, he's here. He might as well. ]

[She stares into her glass while he orders, still expecting him to down it and walk out. That would be the only thing that would make her night a little easier.]

How'd the fact-finding go?

[She's not going to pretend she doesn't know what his first move was.]

Find out you're fictional yet?

I've heard a lot of crazy things today. That wouldn't be the strangest.

[ No, no one's told him that he's the Mad Hatter. Most people in town seem a little unsure of who he is, despite having seen him around more recently as of late...and in the company of one Emma Swan. All these paths seem to lead back to her. ]

What would be the strangest? The magic thing?

[She has had too many to care about telling him any of this gently. Now that he's here, now that she's apparently not getting rid of him, he can listen to what he wants to and leave when he's had enough.

She calls for the bartender and orders beer just for the sake of slowing herself down.]

Anyone else confirm that?

Sorry, that one has to go to the nuns who are actually fairies. I think that trumps pretty much everything else I've heard.

[ And there's his shot. Tipping it towards her briefly in salute, he downs it. This actually might not be a bad idea, considering how his day has gone. ]

The magic thing, I could understand. There's all sorts of New Age, self-empowerment books that talk about it, so why not? Fairies, though. That's new.

They were fairies before they were nuns, and they were probably nuns because Regina has something against good magic.

[It felt like a good idea until he showed up, now Emma is sticking around out of stubbornness. She's not going to leave just because he's here.

And all of this hurts a little less with every sip.]

I'm the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Lost princess deal.

Princess-turned-sheriff.

[ At this point, he's just letting it kind of bounce around in his head. It's crazy, impossible...but enough people seem to be corroborating her story, and certainly seem of the same opinion as she is about Regina, so why not? He doesn't believe, necessarily, but he's not going to argue the point. ]

Snow White, Prince Charming, and I've gathered Regina is supposed to be the Evil Queen...so who does that make me?

Grumpy.

[Oh, that shouldn't amuse her, but there have been plenty of days when he could have given Leroy a run for his money. She covers the laugh with her hand and takes a long sip of her beer.]

It's a different story, but you're the Mad Hatter. And you hate it when I remind you, because you're not mad.

You're hilarious, you know that?

[ Thankfully he gets that she's joking by the way she has to stifle herself, and he half-grins in turn. He doesn't think he's seen her smile, really smile yet, and it seems a shame. Of course, it's been kind of a shit day. Time for everything, right? ]

...that would explain the room full of hats I found. Also the alleged kidnapping and drugging. I think.

[ His brow furrows. ]

Does he do that in the books?

You do a lot of things that he doesn't do in the books.

[Or he had, now he's completely removed from the book and raising his daughter. She wouldn't call him mad, but she remembers what he was like before the curse was broken. Desperate, lonely, and afraid that would never change.]

And it was not an alleged kidnapping. You drugged me, restrained me, and turned my gun on me and Mary Margaret to make me do what you wanted.

[ He has the grace to look uncomfortable about that, at least. He can't fathom any reason he could possibly have to resort to such measures...or why she'd still be hanging around him after the fact. ]

...which was what, exactly?

I had to make a hat.

[It's true, and whether or not he believes it, her expression says as much. They didn't get to this point through some cute story about coffee and a scarf, that's for damn sure.]

You told me about the curse, I pretended to believe you. Then I beat you with a telescope to try to get away. We fought, Mary Margaret kicked you out of a window. It was an interesting night.

[ He takes all that as well as anyone could be expected to: with a blank stare and a motion for another shot to start coming his way. A hat? Okay, if he's the Mad Hatter, he supposes that's fair. And there's probably a reason in there somewhere that he'll dig for later. What he's really curious about, though... ]

So after all of that, you're still talking to me, why?

[At that question, she orders a shot of whiskey to pour into her beer. Getting into all of this tonight is a bad idea, but it's one in a series of them by now, so she'll live with it. At least she has no delusions about it bringing him back or sounding familiar this time.]

You were separated from your daughter, you just wanted her back. Was I supposed to hold that against you? I wanted Henry, too.

[It's more complicated than that, but he should know by now that most things are.]

And it's not like either one of us make the best decisions. Once we started spending time around each other, I don't know.

Time that didn't involve me drugging you or you clubbing me with heavy objects?

[ Oh, this sounds plenty complicated to him. Also strangely compelling. None of it sounded any more familiar than anything else, but it was strange, hearing all about these things that he'd done, putting together a clearer picture of who he was. Who they had been. His past didn't lack color, that was for damn sure.

He was almost a little impressed. Which would have been absolutely the wrong thing to say. Hello, second shot. ]

It's not all drugging and clubbing, Jefferson.

[It hasn't been for a while. She doesn't dwell on it, or she hadn't until now. The signs were there from the beginning; this could have never worked out. They should have been more realistic about it from the start, but Emma had gotten too comfortable.]

You brought me tea and soup when I was sick. Sometimes you'd play the piano for me. And that's not to say that it didn't start out with a bunch of mistakes, because in the beginning there were magical flowers, and too many drinks, and emotional situations that just got the better of us.

Seems like an odd way to start...whatever we were, that's all I'm saying.

[ He watches her for a moment, clearly struggling with all of this and the difficulty of it. He was spared the hurt by not knowing what he was missing out on. All of that now fell squarely on her shoulders, and it wasn't fair. None of this was, to any of them. ]

Does it make you feel any better that I feel like shit about the whole thing? I know, it's Regina's fault, you mentioned that part. It doesn't mean I don't feel like I...took that away from you, somehow.

You don't even know what she took away.

[So no, it doesn't make her feel any better. Nothing makes her feel any better except her drink, which she reaches for and takes a long drink of. She just wants to be numb, just for a little while. Tomorrow's a new day and she'll go looking for more information when it comes.]

Besides, it's not like we were Snow White and Prince Charming.

[And the kiss earlier had proven it.]

It's not your fault. Like I said, I'm fine.

Maybe not. But I can tell it was something important anyway. Not just because Regina took it away.

[ He watches her down that next swig of beer before turning to lean against the bar counter, to tilt in slightly towards her. ]

You and Grace are the only real hope I have of figuring this thing out. That's a lot of pressure to put on you. Either of you. But as much of this makes no sense at all, I don't feel lost with you around.

You could have just left me to it and cut free, and you didn't. Even though you're definitely not fine with it.

I told you I wouldn't do that.

[But she wants to, even if she won't. It's too much, it's too hard, and he may never remember to know that she didn't follow through. Still, her word means something. If she went to Manhattan with Gold for a deal that wasn't even fair, then she has to stick around now.

Emma has had too much to drink to fake things the way she'd like, so she only nods between sips, setting the mug down finally and tapping her nails against the bar.]

Emma Swan • Once Upon A Time

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