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Answering Machine meme

☎ Post a comment with your character. This comment functions as their answering machine or voice mail. Include an IC message if you want.

☎ Other characters will reply to these comments to leave your character messages.

☎ Be creative, have characters leave messages when they're drunk/high/bored/being chased by a rabid T-rex, whatever.

☎ Your character can then call these people back and demand an explanation!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hi! You've reached the personal contact of Joanne Pauling. Just leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm not busy working. 'Though, that might be a while...

If this is the RED Scout, please stop calling me.

[well, the ad in the Teufort Reader said it was her, but let's be realistic here: that could have been anyone. Pauling sounds like a perfectly common American name, like Smith or Jones. this could be a completely different person.

but then the dial tone stops and oh Gott it IS her and wow, this just went from awkward to embarrassing real quick.]

Ah. Hallo. This is -

[the RED team's Medic? someone who just saw your personal ad? a creepy, mouthbreathing nerd?]

...Never mind. I think I have the wrong number.

[click.]

[The thing with being the right-hand woman to the Administrator, is that when keeping check on employees, you can't really mess up. So Pauling recognizes- or can at least check- numbers, as well as voices if she wants to.

She already recognizes his voice though, not really needing to check it up. She does double-check the number to avoid an embarrassing situation, however.

And then she returns his call. Whatever could he want using her personal contact?]

[After Ralph had seen a flier advertising spots in some game called Team Fortress 2 on a bulletin board in Tapper, he had found the bar's phone and attempted to call the number listed at the bottom.

It had taken him several tries to get the right number, the phone's keypad wasn't made for giant fingers.

When the answering machine finally picks up, Ralph leaves a hesitant message. If the people in that game knew he was a Bad Guy, they probably wouldn't want him.]

So, uh, I found a flier that mentioned you were looking for some Heavy guys for your game. I've, um, got a few questions about the job and your game.

I'll be at Tapper all night, so I should be able to get the phone if you want to call back here.

[With that, he hangs up the phone and stands by it awkwardly for several minutes. If the phone doesn't ring within that time, he'll take the seat closest to the phone and order a drink to keep himself occupied.

Even if he doesn't get a call back, he had planned on being here the whole night, there weren't many places that were friendly towards Bad Guys and he had no intention of going back to Fix-It Felix Jr. without a medal.]

[[ooc: Sorry if I've messed up anything, I've only got a passing knowledge of TF2 (which I need to fix one of these days!).]]

[The good thing about buisness answering messages was that she could actually answer them during work. Well, on the odd occasion that she wasn't already busy.

She dials the auto-recorded number, wondering why the possible suitor was ringing from a bar-game of all places. Although it wasn't unusual to get interest from the more dubious characters.

And then she waits for an answer.]

((ooc; that's fine! Shall we just say that TF2's an arcade game in this one? The movie didn't quite specify if you could jump systems- or at least I didn't catch it if it did.))

[Ralph's surprised that the phone rings, he wasn't sure that they'd call back. He scrambles to answer the phone, fumbling with his giant hands until he was able to pick it up after several rings.

He answers hesitantly at first, was it really them? Were they actually interested in possibly hiring him?]

H-hello? [Ralph clears his throat and repeats himself more confidently.] Hello? Is this the representative from Team Fortress 2?

[[ooc: Thanks! Sounds good to me! Yeah, I don't think there was any mention of it in the movie.]]

[She remains professional off the bat, but there's a kind feel to her; she's anything but one of those intimidating sorts... which is usually handy for her, considering she's... cleaned up messes a few times. Who the bad guys are is a very dubious- and not really cared about- concern in Team Fortress 2.]

This is Miss Pauling, speaking. I can only assume you're the man who inquired about the Heavy Weapons position?

[Even though she can't see him, Ralph can't help but nod when he answers her.

Miss Pauling doesn't seem like she's judging him, and he knows that she has no idea who he really is or what he looks like at the moment, so he relaxes quite a bit.

Was this really his ticket to getting a medal?]

Yeah, that's me! Is it okay if I ask a few questions about the position?

Mm-hmm. But I'll need to ask you some questions before you do.

[She needs to know he's right for the position before she knows what she can answer in regards to his own questions.]

How big are your hands?

[Very important.]

[Uh oh, here comes the moment of truth. Ralph looks down as he answers her question. He sounds dejected, there's no point in lying about it, they'd find out as soon as they saw him.]

They're enormous. [He sighs and glances at his free hand, slowly clenching it into a fist.] I've got giant wrecking hands.

[She sounds quite happy, suddenly perking up.] Great!

How are you with guns? And sandwiches, for that matter.

[Ralph almost drops the phone in pure shock when she sounds happy about the size of his hands.] R-really?!

Uh, no experience with guns, but I do like sandwiches! [Hey, two out of three things wasn't bad at all, was it? Especially if having giant hands was a plus, he had that down pat.]

[Oh. Sandwiches would have been okay to not like- there's still the chocolate- but guns...]

Ah. See, guns are quite a big part of Team Fortress 2... We could train you, but, well, you won't be able to respawn if something goes wrong.

[They don't have their own machines- well, okay, technically they do, but she can't promise Ralph won't be crippled for the rest of his life.]

You are aware that you can't respawn outside of your game?

[Ralph responds in an odd tone, a mix of determination and despair.]

I know.

That's the thing, I'm only interested in being in the game long enough to get a medal. I'll do whatever you ask until I obtain one.

So, does your game have any medals in it? If you do, are they shiny?

[Oh, so that's his game? Still, if his hands are as big as he says they are, he could be a brilliant build for a new Heavy...]

Not really. We do, but they aren't achievable through regular means. They're just code from other platforms.

[Medals for special players, or for mini-games not implanted in the arcade version.]

We mostly deal in hats.

[Ralph sounds disappointed in this information.] ...Is there any way at all I could get at one of those medals? I don't care what I have to do, just as long as I end up with a medal, that's all that's important to me.

Sorry, I've got no interest in hats. Not unless you've got a big, shiny one that says "Hero" on it or something similar.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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Miss Pauling | Team Fortress 2

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