Fuck You I'm a Dragon Meme

[mothertrucker]

<sub>Dragons have always been and will always be popular. Everyone loves dragons.
If somebody tells you they don't love dragons, they're either lying or wrong.
Nearly every culture features dragons and so do thousands of movies, books, and tv shows.
But sometimes, sometimes those medias DON'T have dragons. It's time to fix that.

Play your favorite dragon or AU your character as the fire-breathing terror lizard they were always meant to be!</sub>




DRAGON GENERATOR
Need some dragon PBs? We got that.
Make you a goddamn dragon.

DRAGON RNG
Also works for non-dragons.

DRAGON PROMPTS
Try to specify if you're playing a dragon or non-dragon and what kind of interaction you'd like but you could also not. I'm not the boss of you. Live your dreams, you beautiful motherfuckers.

1. What was that noise? Protect your hoard from nasty little hobbitses!
2. Time to kidnap some princesses (or princes!)
3. Burninate the countryside. Burninate the peasants. Nobody can stop you. Or can they?
4. Your character wasn't a dragon before, but now they suddenly are. GOOD.
5. All good things must come to an end. You are the last dragon. What now?
6. Your dragon is trapped, injured, or ill! Will someone come to their rescue or finish them off?
7. You are a dragon and a dragon rider. Go have adventures!
8. You know what wins an argument? Fire.
9. Wizards and shit I don't know. Go oldschool fantasy AU.
10. Extra extra! Dragon in New York City! Drop your poor lizard into a world of technology! You aren't on your dragon turf anymore. Shit.
11. Maybe your dragon is good! Chase down some bullies for a nerdy little boy or something. Eat them.
12. There is a website called Bad Dragon for a reason.
13. A super serious dragon war is happening.
14. Maybe your dragon doesn't WANT to be a dragon. What a loser.
15. The crowd cheers as your opponent enters the ring. Are you the reigning champion or dragon chow?
16. Rush out the door with a half-chewed knight in your mouth! You're late for dragon school!
17. You sure do love humans, you wish they were real! You think about them all the time and even play a nerdy game called Highways and Humans. But one day you MEET ONE!!!
18. You've found a dragon egg and now it's hatching! This could be adorable or end horribly.
19. I literally can't think of anything else I'm so tired.

_{Please steal this dumb meme and enjoy it till your heart's content!}

Comments

[goldeneyeball]

<sub>[Lady dragon? Not lady dragon? JW don't care, what matters is he's seen them from his rock perch and for once his first thought wasn't: ugh somebody else in my territory I'm going to have to smog to death.]

[It was: DAMN. Look out, Sideswipe, you have a multiple public bus-long serpent making his way toward you down the cliff face. He could fly but that takes energyyyyy.]</sub>

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Honestly, whatever species Sideswipe is, he could probably go either way. Usually he went by "he", but that's hardly important right now.]

[What is important is the fact he'd seen something shiny flickering in the rocks. And needed it. Badly. So he'd started digging. Ironhide would have been so proud of him if he brought it back -- ]

[-- his head jerks up at the sound of a body moving over rocks. And then it's all about posturing. Making himself look bigger and scarier. Rar!]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[Sideswipe just makes it worse for himself because those rings on his wings just catch the noodle beast's attention more. And also the size of them. JW's are comically small. Once he reaches the grey dragon, JW stands up on his hind legs which puts him several several feet above the intruder so he has to arc his neck down in order to say hello.]}

Hey baby, wanna see some real treasure?

[stabbywheelfeet]

[... what.]

[Really. Did he seriously hear that. Was this guy seriously trying a line? He puffs up a bit more, trying to get his plating to stand up.]

What?

[goldeneyeball]

_{[This beast is totally serious. Once his feet are on the ground, he turns his broad side (if you could call it that) toward Sideswipe and fans out his wings and the little sail along his crooked back. Look! Look how handsome he is! Look what good health he is in!]}

Don't usually get prospectors in these parts but you've struck gold!

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Sideswipe takes several skeptical steps backward. And then makes a show of looking around. Up and down.]

[Skeptically.]

I don't see any gold.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[BEHOLD, SIDESWIPE. A creature totally lacking in shame and common sense. JW puffs himself up as much as he can and holds his breath. Please. Please notice him. He's so lonely on this shitty cliff.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Sideswipe... stares. For a long, long moment. And then sits down, curling his tail primly around himself.]

No more bad pickup lines.

Do you understand?

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The edges of the long dragon's jaws twitch.]}

I threw my back out, I can't do any feats of strength for you. This is all I've got.

[stabbywheelfeet]

... Threw your back out.

How does a dragon throw his back out.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW blinks at this new dragon and looks back at his own long curvy spine. It seems obvious to him.]}

Wind turbulence.

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Sideswipe snorts, and stands, starting to circle the stranger. It's more of a prowl than walking, really.]

From what? Don't tell me you can actually fly.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The cliff dragon works his long snout into a pout before unfurling his wings again. He isn't a powerful flyer like those with broad, sail-like wings, but by gods he gets off the ground. His long body stretches out and ripples as his weak natural magic pushes the air around him. It lasts for only a moment before he drops back down with a thump and a grimace. Oh, his poor back.]}

Ta daaaa.

[stabbywheelfeet]

[Sideswipe looks up, then down, and ends up tilting his head skeptically. Flicking his tail.]

[That'd look a lot more impressive if the other guy got way off the ground.]

You should have someone look at that, if you ever want to impress anyone.

[goldeneyeball]

Find me a dragon doctor and I will.

_{[With a low hiss, JW resorts to plan B. He slithers his way back up the rock face, making airy little hops as he goes. He isn't gone long though. His beaky snout reappears over the cliff and something shining is caught between his teeth--a shield that once belonged to some foolish scale-less creature. It is set with gems that catch the noon sun.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

I'm related to one.

[Namely, Ratchet. But getting his other parent involved in this whole business is not ideal. Because Ratchet would be all over this, babbling about pheromones and mating rituals and--]

[And Sideswipe perks up, sitting up taller.]

[Why yes. He is interested now.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW sticks his head out further and once he notices he actually has the other dragon's attention, he starts bobbing his head, sending colored beams from the gems down over the rocks. It wasn't as impressive a light show as it would have been in the caves his kind normally inhabited, but it's what he has to work with.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[It's sort of like showing a laser pointer to a cat. Sideswipe sort of hunkers down, staring upward.]

[Whole body starting to wriggle like he's preparing to pounce.]

[goldeneyeball]

<sub>[The ridge of fur along JW's cheeks stands up and he darts out of sight. COME AND GET HIM.]

[He doesn't so much run as skitter along the top of the cliff and his wings lift him a few feet off the ground, making him look like a windsock that got loose some how. He's clamped the shield flat again, angling his head as he scurries and sending scattered light among the cacti and rocks.]</sub>

If you can catch it, you can have it!

[stabbywheelfeet]

[... oh JW. Don't say that.]

[Sideswipe is many things. Slow is not one of them. Without warning, he launches upward. Wings helping, long limbs scrambling. No, he's going to get that. That shiny thing is going to be his.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[He grins to himself when he hears talons scraping against rock. The long dragon lurches left and suddenly disappears down a narrow hole between two rocks only to pop up several feet away like some sort of horrid gopher, the shield still in his mouth.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[It takes him a minute to stop his forward lunge. His claws scrabble at the ground frantically, trying to keep from bashing his face into the rock.]

[There's a bubbling snarl in his throat, and he tears at the hole.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[JW watches this with a grin plastered all the way across his snout. He takes the shield in his claws and stretches his neck out long enough to deliver a quick bite to the very end of Sideswipe's tail.]}

[stabbywheelfeet]

[That tail whips around. Like a literal whip, moving to try and slap him upside the head while Sideswipe yowls and scrambles backward, hissing.]

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The long dragon lets out a honk of surprise as his shit is slapped. He wiggles backwards rapidly and snaps up the shield in his teeth. Only this time, as he disappears down the hole, he's holding the shield at the wrong angle and it becomes lodged against a rock right at the entrance.]}

Shit shit shit TIME OUT!