💍

[sneaks]

why should i marry you? 💍 meme

Imagine, if you will, a world where you must convince someone to marry your character. What do they bring to the hypothetical table that is sure to win all comers?

That world is this world. It's this meme. You have one shot to marry off your character. ONE subject line. The rest of their life depends on it. Their life depends on it!

(Am I implying they'll die if they don't get someone to marry them? Well. I'm not-not saying a painful end will come their way...

Don't hold me to anything. Just plead a case! You don't have time to worry about the specifics, do you?)

how to play:
- What it says.
- Why should ANYONE marry your character?
- Put it. Go ooooon. Put it.
- So. Volunteers? Anyone out there?

Comments

Have insomnia? No, you don't. She also glows in the dark, loves all music, and forgives you [cont.]

[innerbeauty]

for that thing you did.

Good cook who will tell you everything is alright and that you're loved, also 10~x stronger (cont.)

[doesntmeatthecriteria]

... than the average man and can fly while carrying you in her arms. Also milf monkey alien.

[Why...?]

is a demon whose tear gems bring megabucks on the black market.

[snowmaid]

[ But why would you make your wife cry, jerk? ]

[postboy]

[ His protective instincts have immediately kicked in. ]

That's a terrible reason to marry someone. In fact, I'd say if you want to get married, it has to be someone who can protect you from the types who would want you for that purpose. A strong fighter with no material attachments.

You like magic. You like animals. You like magical animals, possibly more than you like people.

[newtral]

[ And you have a high tolerance for awkwardness. ]

You wish the Satanic Panic had been for the right reasons, actually.

[ratsman]

If you find yourself in danger, she will stop at nothing to save you.

[revengeisalie]

[essence_of_survival]

Charming, but danger tends to follow me. You'd have your work cut out for you.

They can make your La Croix taste good with a whistle

[whistlestoptea]

If your man can't remember the Great Depression, you don't want him.

[unbucky]

[havenomercy]

Well, why would I?

Technically space royalty, so there's that.

[zabiprince]

[Main downside is that he's set to inherit a dictatorship.]

[pyonpyon]

"Technically?" Like in some cousin twice removed kind of way?

...would saying 'come on, LOOK at him' be too gauche?

[numetals]

[ He hopes so. ]

In this situation, it might not be...

[unholyterror]

Pretty and well dressed are always a good start.

Loyal, good cook and cleaner, strong, attached to anyone who shows any real kindness to him, [cont.]

[catsgothistongue]

... protective. For an added bonus, just add water.

[nightskyslight]

You don't have enough marriage problems without lying?

They know how to work a microwave with great proficiency

[digsthroughtrash]

[bluebolt]

I mean, technically that's a good selling point.

[They know their way in the kitchen better than Sonic does already.]

She's a better sniper than you are. Plus she will eat anything as long as it isn't poison.

[wasteland_101]

[Underneath is also written Also has neat scars. Will protect with that sniper rifle.]

only if you think evil schemes = flirting.

[hisfaithful]

Can unzip anything. Anything.

[winzip]

[ And he's a good man. ]

You will never go hungry. She can also (probably) kick your ass. Overall a 10/10 housewife.

[oxen]

[rephase]

It's not up to me to decide what you deserve, but if it were, I would say you deserve the world.

Smart, loves his mom, interested in botany, would never be anything less than an upstanding citizen

[kitfromarose]

heir to an entire realm*, has the most supportive** family, will always top you LOL***

[sinne]

*she just has to liberate it first, or else there'll be war if she's declared queen under odin's nose
**also the most chaotic, but that's beside the point!! WHO DOESN'T WANT LOKI FOR A FATHER-IN-LAW???
***no kidding LOL

[outwears]

We should consider combining realms some day.

Rich Baldurian Magistrate, handsome, wonderful personality as a bonus.

[pale_elf]

[This is what he can and will tell anyone, at least. What? As soon as he gets his marriage certificate he's not planning to stick around. There's a lot to unpack with Astarion.]

Devoted eternally to you, upward climber, lots of money if you're into that

[gopackers]

But it has been my experience that I can't buy the sort of affection I want.

[deltastrike]

From my own observation, those easily swayed by such material gestures are not impressive company regardless.

You shouldn't.

[misanthroes]

[Points for honesty?]

the idea of someone sewing you different outfits for every occasion sounds like paradise.

[berrybloomers]

Your bond? Unbroken. Your bloodline? Unbroken. Your bones? Possibly broken.

[gothmother]

Waltzes. Wine. Strolls along the beach as the stars die out. Romance, ruin, rot.

cooks, cleans, obliterates your enemies with her mind.

[prayercloset]

[ Assuming a future/adult AU where she actually survives and overcomes the Stephen King life bs. ]

Possibly the sweetest, most caring man in existence, loves to take care of you in and out of bed,

[brightestmoon]

perfect if you have a praise kink.

[curtains]

Who else would you want to marry?