bakerstreet

1. Are you seriously doing this over text message?

2. This date is awful. They're too boring to bang.

3. She bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before I left. I didn't think hair could be this soft?

4. Please don't ironically join a cult.

5. I could feel my liver failing just looking at that thing. How are you not dead?

6. Text him!

you're the third person to have told me this, and, look. the emperor is a beautiful, powerful woman. i've got eyes. it's obvious. we all know it. but just because she's a beautiful, powerful woman doesn't mean i'm gonna join the black eagle strike force, ironically or otherwise.

but i can still make jokes about it, okay? is making jokes really all that bad?

Jokes are all fine and good, but someone less knowledgeable about you might think you're being a traitor.

You're too valued of a member of our group to disappear just because the Emperor is on the more attractive side. Your words, not mine.

honestly, i already betrayed one country by siding with you. so, jokes or no jokes, i'd be surprised if people weren't expecting another betrayal from me at this point.

[A few seconds later.]

which means you've probably got a point there. i'll ease up on the edelgard jokes around mixed company. (and i'm not saying we're not pretty! don't put words in my mouth! we're the more attractive side, but she's an attractive woman!)

There are worse sides for you to have defected to, at least.

[ Admittedly, he'd been pretty surprised but relieved to see the red-head when he and the Deer gathered together. It made him feel a type of way he'll probably take to the grave before saying out loud. That and he can't entirely imagine how Sylvain feels--being up against his friends and all. Even if they were technically all against the Empire... Gronder was something he wished the knight had never had to experience. ]

If anyone gives you any problems, let me know. I don't appreciate them saying that sort of thing about any of us, but especially not you. You've done just as much for us as they have.

don't worry too much about it. really, i knew what i was getting into when i turned away from king and country, and this is more or less what i expected.

besides, i don't need a good reputation, i just need a good enough one to get things done.

all of that said i appreciate it, so thanks. really. i mean it. not everybody would go out of their way to look out for a guy in my position, but that's why i decided to fight for you, yeah?

Well, you chose to fight for me. So of course I'm going to fight for you. That's the obvious course to take, right?

[ But they're both the sort to avoid the awkward actual talks of things, so. He's relieved anyway. ]

Glad I can rely on you, even if you joke about letting Edelgard cut your head off sometimes.

well, you gotta admit it would be a pretty dramatic way of going out, so i could do worse in terms of deaths in this war? it's poetic and kind of ironic.

jokes aside, though, can't change anything if i'm dead, right? and what my father was doing wasn't working, and what you're doing is, so...you fight for me, i fight for you.

[He rereads his message, and then rereads it again, and then does a moment of bleak staring which, obviously, Claude can't see, but just know it's there.]

okay, do me a favor? pretend like i'm drunk right now and that was a two-pitcher thing i just said.

[ He can't help but think of the double meaning in that---sadly one he knows relatively well even if no one in the army actively knows it. A card kept close to his chest that always gave him some empathy. ]

Are you saying you aren't drunk right now? It's a nice night for a drink or two.

[ A pause. ]

If you want to, anyway.

you know, you're not wrong? it's an nice night for a drink or two, and drinking by myself would definitely ruin the mood.

tell me where to meet you and i'm all yours.

My first thought was a little too blasphemous, so how about the greenhouse? I need to pick up a few things there anyway.

I have some wine that Hilda thinks she hid from me, but if you have anything you prefer feel free to bring it along.

now i'm interested in your other idea, but you're probably right. it's a date! i'll see you there.

[Ignore the wording. It's reflexive.

Also, random scenario was very conveniently timed, so...]

Claude, I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

What do you expect me to do about this?

Maybe if you paid more attention to the person you're with and not texting me, you wouldn't be so bored.

[ Five years and you're still The Worst! ]

Hey, I've been paying attention! There's just only so much a guy can do... especially when there are so many more interesting people around.

It isn't even that I dislike her, I just don't think something like this should be arranged to begin with.

[ ... but he also just doesn't want to commit for quite a few reasons. But being bored doesn't help. ]

Then, by all means, go find one of those more interesting people you mentioned and ask them their advice on your coupling woes.

[ Maybe the 'arranged' bit pricks at a scab she spent years fussing at and never properly let heal. On the other hand, it isn't like she can leave a ~~friend~~ ~~former classmate~~ friend hanging. ]

Or is this your way of requesting a noble rescue?

I can't think of a better way to be rescued than by a wonderfully well-groomed knight and her pegasus. Can you?

[ Yes. ]

[ Sylvain regularly uses her for a ruse he calls 'Uncle Laurent is in the infirm', because neither Felix nor Dimitri have any patience for the indignity. Sighing in quite a longsuffering manner, Ingrid considers leaving Claude to his fate for a moment... and ultimately decides she can't. ]

Fine. Pick up and play along.

[ His device will start to ring almost immediately. ]

tfln

Claude von Riegan ➵ Fire Emblem

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