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the only one who can fuck me is me.

would you fuck your clone?
a crack meme for pondering the impossible...

A question as old as time, or at least as old as Buzzfeed. How many intellectuals over the years have pondered the very same question you're being faced with now? Did Socrates wonder about the moral quandaries that accompany clone sex? Did Plato? Does a dilemma so complex have a right answer? If so, does your character know it?

how to play

1. Your character has been posed the question, 'Would you fuck your clone?' Top-levels should be responses to this question. Blank top-levels will be deleted.

2. Chat around with others and debate over the ethics of engaging your hypothetical clone in such a way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Normally I don't respect honesty, as the god of lies, but in this case I'm grateful for the heads-up, so kudos for that. I shall keep you politely at arm's length. [But it's been a good conversation so far, so no complaints there.]

This is purely hypothetical, but if someone were cloning problematic mischief deities and malignant narcissists with the ability to...apparently destroy entire civilizations? The entire point would almost have to be reality-bending chaos. Either that or a Battle Royale situation that they think they can control but can't.

Would you? Ta. I'm really trying not to kill anyone today and it's just so much easier if all your vital organs are out of reach. [There's no menacing tone or vicious expression to reinforce this. If anything, it sounds pleasant and cheery. She has nothing to prove to him; powerfully indifferent to whether anyone believes a word she says.]

"God of lies", you said?

The Mistress. Missy, for short. Formerly the Master. I'm one of those weirdos who do exactly what it says on the tin. Enchanté. [Since they're social distancing, she just waves 'hello' instead of offering her hand.]

As to your hypothetical, sure. You'd hope if they were going to risk the timeline collapsing into a big spaghetti mess, they'd have grander ambitions than playing matchmaker.

[He can't not laugh at that, appreciatively, even though he's perfectly willing to believe she'd shank him given the opportunity.] The same thing gets tedious after a while, doesn't it? Even if it's murder.

[And killing is actually not his thing, but gallows humor very much is.] Yes. I am Loki, god of lies, mischief, generally making bad life choices, et cetera.

[He bows gracefully, not too deeply, because you don't want to give someone who calls themselves the Mistress/Master too much of an ego boost, but polite and rather gallant.] There are definitely lunatics out there who'd mangle the multiverse for a laugh.

Absolutely, it gets tedious. How can I call myself a lover of chaos if I slaughter people at predictable intervals? [A fox-in-the-henhouse smirk answers his laugh because she's genuinely pleased by it. Almost nobody gets her sense of humour, except her best friend/arch nemesis, who has to pretend not to find her funny for some stupid moral reason or another.]

I like a good laugh as much as the next gal, but mangling the multiverse? I would never. The civilisation I'm from was very particular about their rules for travelling time, space and other realities. I'm nobody's rule-follower, but even I have my limits. Some of the old lessons stuck.

Think it through, that's all I'm saying. We can't rule over nothing. We can't wreak merry havoc in the unfathomable void where all universes once were.

Thank you. [He makes an emphatic 'see, YOU get it' gesture, and anyone witnessing this should be very concerned.] People always say 'oh, Loki, you lie so much less than I thought based on your reputation' but I mean what's the point of lying predictably? If I wanted to be predictable I'd just tell the truth.

[Likewise, he approves of there being some lines a person won't cross. He has those too, although they're probably not where she draws them.] It's all well and good to rebel, but nothing happens without consequences. At least, not unless you do unravel the multiverse and cause and effect cease to exist.

[He gestures and in turn she shrugs affably, as though it's not that hard of a concept and she has no idea why others don't follow.] You're a god after my own hearts, Loki. Correct me if I'm wrong, Your Mischievousness, but the truth is often necessary to build up to a big lie. Without the hope of honesty, there's no hurt at deception.

[They do seem to have some troubling commonalities.]

Be a rebel without a cause, not a rebel without causality.

It's a good thing the fabric of space-time is actually sturdier than most people think. It has a way of correcting itself.

[Hearts, plural. That's an interesting detail.] I can't correct you, because you're not wrong. I always tell the truth when it's beneficial to me. Also, thank you, Your Mischievousness may be one of the best things anyone's called me for centuries.

[--oh, damn it, that other bit's even better!] Be a rebel without a cause, not a rebel without causality. I need that on a t-shirt. Or the back of a leather jacket.

I would love for you to tell the Time Variance Authority that. There's probably no point now, though. [And it would be a clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks.]

You're welcome. Shocked to hear it's been centuries. You don't look a day over a hundred. [She means well with this. Compliments aren't her strong suit, is all.]

As for me, [She does a very theatrical fake grimace, playing the part of a woman worrying about her advancing age. Outright asking how old she is would be ungentlemanly.] I'm somewhere in the region of two thousand. And proud to say I'm less mature and responsible than I was when I was eight.

It'd really suit you, that jacket. [She'd have to enjoy it vicariously through Loki because it falls too far outside the aesthetic she's chosen for this face of hers.]

Time Variance Authority? [Missy scoffs derisively.] I'm sorry. It's very hard for me to take these agencies seriously. There's literally time woven into my biodata. I've seen through all of it, and it's seen through me. My people were the fun police before it was cool. Time Lords, they called themselves, which makes me a Time Lady. Is this Authority falling apart or something? Because if so, they probably had it coming. Posers.

[Lucky for all concerned, that's a pretty solid compliment for an Asgardian. Loki was barely out of his school days at one-hundred. He gives her an appreciate chuckle.] Well, I'm a little over a thousand years old, as Midgard counts revolutions around the sun. I don't keep exact count, but I should be turning a thousand and seventy...two? Soon.

Perhaps your charisma has grown so fast your maturity simply couldn't keep up with it. [Two can play the compliment game!]

The TVA is a...complicated story. The idea was to preserve one particular timeline amidst a multiverse of infinite possibilities. Unfortunately, their entire mission was built on false pretenses. Dupes, rather than posers. It's actually a little sad, although it'd be sadder if they hadn't gone out and pruned so many variations in the timeline.

[The genuine history of her universe bears a striking similarity to the fictive propaganda touted by the TVA, right down to the catastrophic multiversal war and those Time-Keepers with their dramatic high-collared robes. If she didn't know better, she'd think someone took a little peak over the fence.]

Yep. Terra, Midgard, Earth sun revolutions — we're on the same page. You can express temporal values and measurements in any way that's natural to you. In fact, you can just say anything in any tongue, and I should hear it okay because of how I translate language and how mine is translated to you. If everything's working as it should, the translation's based on the speaker's intentions rather than specific words.

[It doesn't happen often, but every now and again she sounds almost like the other, kinder Time Lord. The one who can actually have travelling companions and friends without being a catastrophic hazard to life and limb. Loki makes it easy for her to play nice.

His flattery will go straight to her already overinflated ego. Her big smile and laughing face isn't a whole lot less sinister than her smirk. Hers is a witchy face, no way around that.] Oh, now who's being charismatic? [Her hands plant on her hips, looking at him accusatorily. All in good fun. But the moment doesn't last.]

Would you mind my asking what dealings you have with this TVA?

Oh, that makes me a little jealous. Asgardians have an innate ability to learn most spoken languages in a few words, but it has its limits. It doesn't always work across universes, for certain. [And his is a little quirky, since he's not actually Asgardian.

One thing Loki does find, with terribly dangerous people: it's easier for them to be their less-dangerous selves when you're pointedly refraining from judging them. Don't back people into corners if you don't want them to bite you.

Good people will take his more nihilistic observations as critique and blame him for being a nasty piece of work. Not-so-good people will take them as gallows humor and enjoy it.

He has his own preferences, so sue him. He winks at the accusatory look, but the question she asks sobers him.] At this point, it's a little hard to pinpoint my role, but I was plucked out of a timeline that I apparently fucked up by taking a chance to survive and running with it. My choices were annihilation or cooperation and I got talked into the latter.

It's gotten more tangled since, now that I've learned more about them...and possibly accidentally crippled their work...which I'm not entirely sorry to have done but I don't like the results, either. Basically, I can't seem to touch anything without breaking it, TVA included.

I haven't had the pleasure of visiting your home, but I can tell you that the Asgard of my universe is an absolute delight. It's a top-tier selfie spot. Features prominently on my insta.

[Neither of them are especially serious creatures by nature. That's the impression she has. If the humour dries up and their eccentricities become subdued, things must be very dire indeed.

Missy listens to Loki, actually listens, with a lot more investment than is typical for her. She has eyes fit for a stage-performing hypnotist, and they look brightly, sharply interested in what he has to say. It's not hard to imagine how easily that gaze could turn predatory, but never mind that now.]

Well. Ain't that a bitch. If you got yourself in trouble by surviving in the first place, I don't blame you for cooperating in order to survive again.

I'm inclined to believe that anything we can break must not be that important, or else we wouldn't be able to break it. If the work of the TVA is truly necessary, then it will continue in some form. Maybe with sweeping reforms and new management.

Is that so, really? I'm sorry, I'm imagining Heimdall having a fit while you take selfies in front of his observatory. That's made my day. [Sure, the chances of her universe's Heimdall being much like his own are slim, but it's still funny.

Loki is always gratified by intelligent people listening to what he has to say. It's frustrating, when you feel you have a point to make about the universe but everyone just shakes their heads and reminds you you're a villain. Yes, of course he's full of drama, he's morally grey, he's a little misanthropic, but he's not wrong about everything. He's pretty sure the same could be said of her.]

Thank you. [He looks amused, but really he is pleased by the support.] I don't think most people would just roll over and let themselves be executed. I just happen to have more faculties to fight back with.

[Once again, she's made a point he would like on the back of a t-shirt.] I know, right?? If we all just accepted every dogma we were ever fed, nothing in the universe would ever change for the better.

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