bakerstreet | You could do better.

It is true. [Connor has a weirdly big soft spot for John. Even he's not sure why. Maybe it's because he thinks deep down, John just wants to be loved and accepted? And that is something Connor can relate to. Yeah, he's done bad things, but so has Connor. It seems to him that usually when he's doing those things, extreme as they might seem, he's doing them to protect the ones he cares for. There's something oddly endearing about that.]

How in the hell do you find dirt on Batman to blackmail him? That must have been some potent info. No wonder you were upset. I'm going to guess that her lying about you, while obviously not ideal, probably wasn't your focus, helping Batman was. She sounds like a truly awful, psychotic person. [Granted, he can't help wondering what John might have done to her to make her so vengeful.] No, no, you couldn't let that happen, not after what she did to your other friends. You don't have to sugarcoat it, you can call them your friends.

Batman's got a thing about not killing, doesn't he? It's a very restrictive standard to live by. Sometimes killing is the only decent solution.

[Nope, no outward judgment here. Connor's guilty of his own sins.]

It was, it was! She figured out ~who he really is~ and she STILL knows! That just doesn't SIT right with me! [ Before he can fly into a frothing rage about that, something else Connor says catches his attention. For a fleeting moment he actually looks almost... guilty-- definitely sad and conflicted, extremely alien expressions to almost every other iteration of him. But Bruce helped make this John Doe unique, and now, Connor is helping along the process. ]

To be honest with you buddy... I was really, really steamed she was lying about me. She was saying that I killed the Riddler, and when I thought about the slightest CHANCE that Batman might believe her I just... saw red. I didn't want him to believe her one little BIT. I wanted him to be proud of me and SHE was RUINING that.

And... I think I wanted them to be my friends, but they weren't. That doesn't mean I wanted to be FORCED to fight them though.

[He looks at Connor with supreme relief at his seemingly easy agreement that sometimes murder is the tidiest solution.]

That's-- excatly. Thank you. Thank you. It's so nice to know I'm not completely crazy for thinking that!

Oh, I can only imagine the kind of repercussions that might have if she decides to spill. I can't believe he's okay with that! [Uh, thank goodness?

Connor might like to talk to Bruce as well as Lauren. He'd be honored to know John feels that way about him.]

You set him straight on that, didn't you? You've been trying so hard to be that person worthy of his pride and I'd hate to think he'd believe someone like her over you. Surely he knows you better than that?

You wanted who to be your friends? Batman and Waller? I thought you and Batman had come to an understanding?

[Was he wrong about that? That would be disappointing if so. Also, Connor? Killbot. Terminator. Robocop. All nicknames he's gotten for himself at some point or other at the DPD.]

Not in my book you aren't. [Does his voice sound a little heated? He needs to nix the combat protocols right now.]

I'm not really sure if Brucie ever believed that. I don't think so. He's always given me the benefit of the doubt before, even if I... maybe don't deserve it. [ He's always careful about letting Batman's real name slip-- but considering Connor's already had his skin hijacked to look more like Bruce for that lovely cage match they were thrown in, John figures it's probably safe to trust him with this much. ]

Oh, uhm... there was a group of us. A Pact. Me, Harley Quinn, Bane, Freeze, and Bruce. I wanted us all to stay together... but everything, everyone just... fell apart.

[ He can't help a tiny Cheshire grin when Connor insists that he doesn't think John is mad; John is absolutely aware he's Nucking Futs, but he still appreciates the kind (if not, skewed) opinion. How the hell is he supposed to believe he can be a better person, if no one else does first? ]

Anyway... Bats wanted to save Waller, and I wanted to kill her. So we got into a fight. KINDA a big one...

[ John shows Connor the scarred slice that goes straight through one of his palms-- curtesy of a batarang Batman used to pin his hand to the nearest surface. Should Connor feel like a little scan, he could also note that the attached arm is full of metal pins and bars, medical repair from being brutally broken in two different places.]

[Bruce, okay. A tidbit of information, along with...yeah. He's looked like the man before. Connor could go snooping with what he has, but does he want to?]

John, if he's given you the benefit of the doubt, it's probably because he thinks you do deserve it. [He pauses.] I see. I'm sorry that happened. But you haven't lost everyone.

[This is exactly why Connor so earnestly believes in him. Someone has to show him he's worthy of that belief.]

I guess finding yourselves on opposite sides of that argument can't have been easy for either of you. Immovable force, meet unstoppable object and all.

[Connor stares at the scar, eyes going wide as he blinks at John, then at his hand again. He will take a scan, thanks very much.] Holy shit, John. He did all this to you?

[For a split second, as Connor comments that John has not in fact lost everyone, his biohazard green-hazel eyes shoot to his companion with an almost undefinable look of-- what? Uncertainty? Gratitude? Vulnerability? All of that and something else; a swamp of mucky emotions that all vanish a splintered moment later.

Is Connor talking about himself, John catches himself wondering, before the shadows in his mind smother out the disruptive thought. 'Is he saying I still have him?' 'Dangerous Machinations, Those.']

Yeah, no kidding. And I did say it was a big fight, right? [ There's a strange mutation of pride in his grin at Connor's shock to all the damage he'd sustained.]

That was all him. We both took ambulances home that night, so... don't you go thinking I don't dish it as ~good~ as I take it. Anyway, I can hardly be mad at the guy. He saved my life at least once amid me trying so desperately to kill him. The memories are still kinda fuzzy.

[Connor can't decipher the emotions that pass over John's face. They're conflicting and confusing, and causing errors in his social programming. John seems to be good at that, probably with other humans, too.

He is talking about himself. Unless John does something unforgivably heinous, Connor isn't going anywhere. His own passing thought is wondering what Lucy might have made of John.]

You did say that. I wasn't expecting this level of damage, that's all.

[He catches that look in John's eye, and shakes his head a little at the sight of it. If he wants Connor to be impressed at his survival, he's got it.]

I wouldn't have dreamed anything less of you, John. [He does wonder briefly if the people at the hospital uncovered Batman's identity.] I'm not surprised the memories are fuzzy- it sounds like you had one hell of a good time that night.

[ Confusing Social Programming is definitely something John manages to inflict upon organics just as much as Connor. Though it should perhaps be obvious that Connor meant to be assuring, it seems like too much for John to hope for. He knows people say those things. They don't often really mean them. But Connor isn't quite 'people', is he? ]

Oh, it was the best and the worst all at once. I felt so... Free. But so... broken. And I just had to tell him what I really wanted. Admit to myself, what I really wanted. Which... [ big breath, John. ] ... was for him to love me.

I-It's kind of embarrassing to say, like this... I was reigning mayor of Crazy Town when I told him but uh... jeez, this is harder. Saying it with a level head... more or less [ he trails off into nervous, still faintly creepy giggles, his long lanky arms coiling around his ribcage so he can hold himself while he chuckles.]

[Not quite. He also meant what he said, despite assumptions to the contrary. Connor doesn't say things he doesn't mean to people he cares about.

Connor eyes him with a serious expression that doesn't waver.]

That kind of admission is huge, John. What did he say? How did he take it?

[Saying it with a level head means that John truly feels that way about Bruce. He can't pass it off as riding the high of spur of the moment craziness. These are serious, actual feelings he's talking about.]

How do you feel about it, John?

Oh, well, right after I told him I kinda... punched him in the face. Or was it elecrocution with my Joy Buzzer? I dunno, anyway... I kept going at him. I was just so mad that I tried so hard to make myself into someone he would love... or maybe just like...

But it didn't work. [ He actually looks... genuinely sad. And what's even more amazing is that it's the truth. A true anomaly of the multiverse, this guy. ]

But... I guess I feel okay about it? Because he did come to visit me, in Arkham, after all that. He was smiling, too. I just know we were ~this close~ to talking everything out. Then suddenly I was in that dumb sex city... [ he rolls his eyes, obviously disgusted by the petty inconvenience of being thrown into a different reality.]

...Oh. [His expression morphs into one of shock. That was...different. He holds up his hands after a moment more of listening to John explaining what happened.]

Wait wait wait. Back up. John, you can't make yourself into someone else just so he would like you. You have to do it because you want to be that person. You have to change yourself for you, not anyone else. Maybe that's why it didn't work. Maybe he thought you weren't serious about changing.

[Will John get angry with Connor now? Possibly. He's only saying it because he cares. He doesn't want to see John hurting himself for the sake of making Bruce love him. It won't end well.]

What happened when you came back? Did you get thrown into a different part of your timeline? [He'd hoped John would have been returned to the exact moment he left, but it doesn't sound like it.]

I don't know, Connor. I really like the guy-- hell, I... I love him, but we don't always want the same things. I wanted to kill Waller, he didn't. I wanted to kill Bane, he didn't. But most of all, I really wanted us to be friends... and I think he did, too.

[ His temper sure has a hairline trigger, but surprisingly it's not set off. Maybe he's been through too much with Connor-- maybe, he's projecting too much onto Connor to be cross with him over just that much. Maybe he's really overdue for a counselling session about all of this social and romantic drama. Let's be real, it's all of those things. ]

It's just everything else that's all messed up. And don't even get me STARTED on Harley Quinn-- because it's not like I'm NOT in love with her, too. Because, how could I not be? And yeah-- no. That whole thing happened with Brucie, then I was at Duplicity, and now I'm here. So. Kind of a terrible cliff hanger, isn't it?

You could do better.

Hahahahaha please do!!

You @ any other memes rn? I may once John stops dominating my brain so much XD

not right now but i'll pm you if i tag into any! i like the stargazing and word association

Ditto! Perhaps I'll go poking once I finish my John tags... >:3

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