i hate talkin' about specific shit. i don't want to share things with people... but you feel like? safe?
[he really doesn't trust anyone else or he wouldn't be bugging Tony. Tony is too busy for his stupid shit.]
she gave me two options. supposed to either discuss a good memory from the past with someone. i guess like? some shit that makes someone happy to think about? so i thought that'd be not too bad... apparently i've never sounded like i've enjoyed anything in my life to her. isn't that bullshit?
[The other was about regret and he doesn't wanna have to talk about regret. Nope, not with anyone.]
I'm not sitting there in your sessions to judge but considering you sound like you enjoy a lot when we're together, it might be that you're not talking to her about the things you enjoy a lot. If that's her verdict, anyway.
But I'm here to help. Did you pick something out already?
[This definitely will not be his strong suit but he is going to try his best.]
what am i supposed to say babe, oh yeah. i'm doing great, my guy, he lets me come over a lot and fuck him into the mattress 'til he can't stand it anymore and then lays in my arms forever and makes me feel like a fuckin' god?
[Okay so maybe not in those words but she might let you off the hook a bit sir..]
right before i shipped out went to a carnival and met some really cute girls. wasn't nothin' like romance or whatever, or even sex. but we spent the day together just havin' a good time. no weight of expectations or guessin' what other people want from you.
anyways thanks for listening im sure you can go back to your brooding now sorry for bothering!
Hey come on that's what I do. Drop something and dash. You can't take my play.
Also because I don't think that's what she meant by talking. Just dumping info and riding off into the sunset. That sounds nice, though. The simpler world before the weight of everything else set in.
oh come on. you know it's true. you're Tony fuckin' Stark and i'm just some guy who fell of a train at a bad time. you choose me and i get to be greatful.
you know, they say a good soldier always learns to mimic the movements of their sparring partner.
are you sure we gotta like? super talk about it? it's okay if we dont.... but yeah. i'd say maybe we could go on a trip sometime where we don't have to be people with the weight of the world, but i'm pretty sure anywhere in the world we go they know you huh?
[It hits him just how hard that bit must be for Tony. Well fuck, was this why he got assigned this work?]
I wouldn't be with you if you were just some guy. You're a lot more than that.
It's up to you. I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to. But we can take a trip. You're not wrong about the getting noticed thing, but it's not insurmountable. I don't know about any carnivals nearby, but Coney's a close approximation, I think. I might complain about the coaster fucking up my back, though, if you really wanna ride it.
And if I read the room totally wrong there and you want like a five star hotel lavish experience and a private beach, I'm definitely amenable to that, too.
oh come on. you know i didn't mean it like that way. i'm just sayin'-- we're not at the same status in life so when we get lost in a scene, yeah it makes me feel great.
[He did not mean for this to change to actual vacation talk and now he's panicing a little bit.]
less people is good, in general. although the idea of you wanting to recreate that memory is really sweet.
you ready to talk to me about why you were half way through a bottle of scotch and feelings now? or do you just want to curl up in my lap later and let me play with your hair 'til you're over them?
And that sounds good, too. I just don't wanna take up your entire evening. I've been realizing I have a habit of asking you to drop everything for me. Feels unfair.
[Bucky has become his go-to. His rock. He's not really sure when that happened but he at least knows how. Still. He does feel selfish about it.]
[How to be as direct at this as possible, because he sucks at this.]
Tony, if you want to say no to me, you can say no to me. you don't gotta make excuses to not want me around if that's what you're doing.
if you do want me around, you don't need to worry about me having 'a lot to handle' i'm a big boy, i can do that.
i know you trust me in bed, you can trust me out of it too. i'm here to support all your needs.
[He of course, leaves all of those complex feelings of his own out of it. How he likes being near Tony, how he worries about him, how he feels not alone for the first time in ages, and just like himself, with him]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
3 - Please take care of yourself <3;;;
... as for the question, not if you're in a mood where you don't want to talk to me.
💙 my brain feels like ooze lol but thank you 💙
That's definitely not my mood. What's up?
no subject
[He feels bad asking for anything himself, like surely he's just in this relationship to give right?]
no subject
I'm here. I'm great at talking. Some say I never stop. One of my better traits. What topic exactly?
no subject
[he really doesn't trust anyone else or he wouldn't be bugging Tony. Tony is too busy for his stupid shit.]
she gave me two options. supposed to either discuss a good memory from the past with someone. i guess like? some shit that makes someone happy to think about? so i thought that'd be not too bad... apparently i've never sounded like i've enjoyed anything in my life to her. isn't that bullshit?
[The other was about regret and he doesn't wanna have to talk about regret. Nope, not with anyone.]
no subject
But I'm here to help. Did you pick something out already?
[This definitely will not be his strong suit but he is going to try his best.]
no subject
[Okay so maybe not in those words but she might let you off the hook a bit sir..]
right before i shipped out went to a carnival and met some really cute girls. wasn't nothin' like romance or whatever, or even sex. but we spent the day together just havin' a good time. no weight of expectations or guessin' what other people want from you.
anyways thanks for listening im sure you can go back to your brooding now sorry for bothering!
no subject
Hey come on that's what I do. Drop something and dash. You can't take my play.
Also because I don't think that's what she meant by talking. Just dumping info and riding off into the sunset. That sounds nice, though. The simpler world before the weight of everything else set in.
no subject
you know, they say a good soldier always learns to mimic the movements of their sparring partner.
are you sure we gotta like? super talk about it? it's okay if we dont.... but yeah. i'd say maybe we could go on a trip sometime where we don't have to be people with the weight of the world, but i'm pretty sure anywhere in the world we go they know you huh?
[It hits him just how hard that bit must be for Tony. Well fuck, was this why he got assigned this work?]
no subject
It's up to you. I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to. But we can take a trip. You're not wrong about the getting noticed thing, but it's not insurmountable. I don't know about any carnivals nearby, but Coney's a close approximation, I think. I might complain about the coaster fucking up my back, though, if you really wanna ride it.
And if I read the room totally wrong there and you want like a five star hotel lavish experience and a private beach, I'm definitely amenable to that, too.
no subject
[He did not mean for this to change to actual vacation talk and now he's panicing a little bit.]
less people is good, in general. although the idea of you wanting to recreate that memory is really sweet.
you ready to talk to me about why you were half way through a bottle of scotch and feelings now? or do you just want to curl up in my lap later and let me play with your hair 'til you're over them?
no subject
Maybe funny isn't the right word. But it's definitely something.
[Hey recognizing it is like... a step, right?]
Not that I don't appreciate the offer. But I don't think my mess needs to get on your mess. You're dealing with enough.
no subject
[He doesn't push it because he would never, but maybe a slight mild panic setting in.]
is that a no to the whole, ignoring life shit together by curling up in my lap and watching a movie while you let me pet your hair as well?
no subject
And that sounds good, too. I just don't wanna take up your entire evening. I've been realizing I have a habit of asking you to drop everything for me. Feels unfair.
[Bucky has become his go-to. His rock. He's not really sure when that happened but he at least knows how. Still. He does feel selfish about it.]
no subject
just remember, you in my arms feels just as good to me as it does to you.
[He doesn't have to words to say that he likes being needed. It makes him feel amazing.]
trust that you make me happy okay? i'd take up all your time in the world i could, so don't feel bad about askin'.
no subject
Then that sounds like a good deal but. I didn't drink as much as I wanted. To dull the rough spots. I might be a little
[What's the word he wants here. Difficult? Jumpy? Annoying?]
On edge. Which I'm told is a lot to handle. So don't feel like you have to. The only person who actually has to put up with me is me.
no subject
Tony, if you want to say no to me, you can say no to me. you don't gotta make excuses to not want me around if that's what you're doing.
if you do want me around, you don't need to worry about me having 'a lot to handle' i'm a big boy, i can do that.
i know you trust me in bed, you can trust me out of it too. i'm here to support all your needs.
[He of course, leaves all of those complex feelings of his own out of it. How he likes being near Tony, how he worries about him, how he feels not alone for the first time in ages, and just like himself, with him]