bakerstreet | Status

( oh great. there are many things he truly believes kaveh excels at, but matchmaking? for alhaitham’s? that’s not going to be one of those. )

I’m fine with things the way they are.

( he could be happier, of course. but he’s also never known what it’s like to have a partner, so he can’t claim he’s missing anything in his life.

… the soft and persistent pining for kaveh fills a hole, certainly. )

I’m not interested in meeting anyone new.

[ ...Huh.

Kaveh has to admit that that's not what he expected. Probably because somehow over the course of the conversation, he's managed to get it in his head that Alhaitham actually wants a relationship, despite him having said nothing to that effect.

But at the same time, he's also kind of relieved. More than he wants to admit even to himself, actually.

Still, he can't help himself from teasing: ]

It might be hard for you to get married if you don't meet new people, unless of course you're planning on being with someone already in your social circle. [ And then, as he realizes belatedly that he's once again pulled the conversation closer to himself than he would like: ] Although if you intend for it to be Cyno, I would request a significant amount of alcohol be prepared at the afterparty for those of us who are forced to sit through his jokes.

I would rather swallow my own tongue than consider him a viable partner.

… I had heard he was involved with the Forest Ranger, at any rate.

[ The response is rewarded with an undignified snort on Kaveh's end. It is Cyno is with Tighnari, though, which admittedly makes Alhaitham's pool of potential suitors much smaller.

(He shouldn't be quite so thrilled about that.) ]

Mm... so then whom? Nilou, perhaps? Or the Eremite mercenary...?

[ He doesn't say his own name. He wants to, but he doesn't. ]

Ah, or perhaps the Traveler.

( ah.

alhaitham’s brows furrow and he shoots kaveh a very blank stare. however, the edges of his expression should indicate he’s anything but indifferent to this conversation. )

Are you simply running through the names you know?

( honestly. he holds back a slightly biting remark and sighs. )

No, Kaveh.

[ Clearly, Alhaitham has an opinion. He can see it all over the other's face, despite that stare he's being given.

And yet— ]

Ugh.

[ Kaveh's fists clench at his sides. ]

Of course I'm just going through names I know. You never tell me anything! How am I meant to have any sort of idea??

[ He's a hypocrite, of course, but oh well. ]

( why is kaveh reacting this way? it’s bizarre.

alhaitham’s pinches the bridge of his nose. breathes. deeply. twice, for good measure. )

When did you become so fascinated with my social life? ( seriously. ) It’s not anyone you listed.

[ It is bizarre. Unfortunately, he's worked himself into something of a state over nothing but his own thoughts. Self-sabotaging indeed.

He folds his arms over his chest, looks away.

This is stupid. He's acting like a kid. Apparently the idea of Alhaitham with someone else has upset him more than he'd like to admit. ]

...When I found out you're interested in marriage. But I guess you're right— it doesn't matter.

( it does matter. if only because it’s causing kaveh to be worked up needlessly.

sighing. again. )

I assure you, you will be the first to know if I enter a relationship of any sort.

( because it’d be with kaveh. it’d only be with kaveh. he’s the only one who alhaitham would dare let this close. )

[ At the statement, Kaveh raises both brows— and then grins, something jovial and teasing taking over his expression as a bright laugh escapes him. ]

Perhaps it would be best if I were the second, Alhaitham— I imagine the poor fool you plan to date should be first!

[ At least that gave him a good laugh. ]

( seriously? seriously. he really did just say that. )

Is that how you interpreted that statement? Interesting.

( kaveh, this is why he gave up trting years ago. actual. years. ago. )

[ In Kaveh's defense, the situation here is that he is just proving the truth of what the button says. And there's no surprise about it. With the hang-ups he has, he doesn't always find himself particularly lovable; he has no reason to believe someone like Alhaitham would care about someone like him. Nor does he have the courage to outright say his own feelings, lest he be left alone again.

Still, he can tell Alhaitham is unimpressed. It's enough to sober his mood again, make him frown slightly as he looks across at the other. ]

Huh? How was I meant to interpret it?

( the problem with dealing with someone as highly intelligent as kaveh is that he’s capable of reasoning most others aren’t. whether he exhibits willful blindness is an entirely different matter.

it’s not often that alhaitham talks himself into a corner. when it happens, it’s only with kaveh. )

Hm. ( that’s it, that’s the answer. ) Nevermind.

( which means it’s absolutely something if alhaitham is dismissing it. )

[ For a long moment, Kaveh just stares.

Alhaitham is blunt to a damn fault. He always has been. It's a habit that was a big part in that stupid fight they had so long ago, words that Kaveh struggles to forgive him for even today—

(because they were true)

And yet, now, he refuses to answer?

The blonde takes a step forward, eyes narrowing. ]

No. You don't just get to do that. Not again. You don't get to be so smug about me interpreting something wrongly and then refuse to elaborate!

( alhaitham is unflinching.

because kaveh is right. this is out of character for him. even if what he says has a risk of hurting kaveh, he always says it. not out of malice but a need to keep his friend in check with reality.

this is entirely different. )

There are two possible ways to interpret what I originally said. The way you did, and the other. ( he lifts a brow, unimpressed. ) You have a brain. I refuse to spoon-feed you an obvious antithetical.

[ Ugh! And of course Alhaitham refuses to expand on his words. He remains, as ever, stubborn and smug and superior and entirely self-absorbed, and honestly Kaveh can't even believe sometimes that he has feelings for him in spite of all that. His eyes narrow, and he glowers. ]

You... you are so...! If you want me to interpret your words in a different way, use different words! You always say what you mean, so why should this be any different?!

[ Besides, how can it possibly be interpreted a second way? Alhaitham said that he, Kaveh, would be the first to know if he, Alhaitham, found himself in a relationship. Which means, of course, that he would tell him first. Right? Which makes sense, given that Alhaitham being in a relationship would mean he'd want more privacy around the house that they share, would probably want Kaveh to consider moving out. Therefore: first. It's not a matter of his importance to the scribe, but the fact that they're intertwined quite thoroughly in each others' lives.

Right. So it makes sense that the only person who would find out sooner than first is the partner themselves, and they—

Sooner than first?

Oh. ]

[ Kaveh's insides, almost instantly, tie themselves in a jumble of knots. His brows crease further, and he stares at Alhaitham in silence, processing and reprocessing his thoughts. If the scribe claims there's only two ways to interpret what he said, then this has to be the other one. Right?

Well, too bad for him Kaveh's not going to play into his hands. Not when he's been wrong before about the other's meaning.

He takes another step forward, squaring his shoulders and standing as tall as he can, fixing Alhaitham with a look he hopes is anywhere near as smug and cold as the other often levies at him. ]

I get it. You're a coward.

( a coward?

there are many things people accuse the acting grand sage of being. egotistical, cold-hearted, robotic, cruel. heartless, apathetic, lonely. arrogant often rises to the top of the charts. smug, too.

but a coward? alhaitham has done nothing cowardly in his life. his actions range in varying degrees of selfishness, entirely focused on the benefit it can bring to his own quiet life and the handful of things he cherishes and wishes to protect. this, evidently, no longer is to protect anyone.

so, a coward?

alhaitham uncrosses his arms and heaves a sigh. there’s a flicker of something in that indifferent facade of his, but it’s gone after only a second. )

The other interpretation would be that you are the first to know inherently due to the fact you are the other party.

( you don’t scare him, kaveh. )

[ Kaveh is expecting some degree of pause. What he gets instead is a flicker, something hidden in Alhaitham's stoic expression that goes by too quickly for him to parse. Followed of course by words spoken in a voice equally as impassive despite the fact that they cut, effortless, right to the core of the architect.

He's pretty sure his hands are shaking as he lowers them to his sides. His voice, certainly, struggles to stay even when he responds. ]

That was my understanding upon further reflection, yes.

[ This should be a happy moment, he's pretty sure. Instead, he feels strangely vulnerable. ]

So... to read into the subtext of this discussion, the whole time we've been discussing this— [ the whole time Alhaitham has been saying he would consider marriage...! ] —the potential partner you have been talking about is me.

[ A breath. ]

Am I correct?

( ah.

alhaitham had been expecting kaveh to fluster and immediately drop the subject. a tantrum, maybe, about alhaitham callously saying things. he hadn’t expecting kaveh to so flawlessly piece together the muddy pieces into a perfectly clear narrative.

he wants to be proud, but there’s this stutter of his heart. rational thought and logic dictate that kaveh should feel the same, based on his actions alone, but alhaitham is human, and the irrational fear finally takes him as victim.

cheeks red, he looks off to the side. rarely does he break eye contact first. )

Correct. ( he won’t lie, not to kaveh. ) To quote you, you would be the “poor fool.”

[ Despite the anxiety and panic crowding into his thoughts, despite the trembling in his hands, Kaveh thinks he's doing a pretty good job of holding himself together in the face of Alhaitham's everlasting calm. There's a horrible urge to ask "why?", because even now there's a part of him that doesn't believe that the other could have those kinds of feelings for him, that wonders if maybe it is, in his mind, a relationship of convenience.

(Such a thing would be old-fashioned too, wouldn't it?)

That is, though, until red bleeds into the Acting Grand Sage's cheeks, until his gaze darts to the side. Then, Kaveh feels himself go to pieces.

Another few steps abolishes the space between them, and his hands lift, long lithe fingers closing around Alhaitham's wrists. And for someone who literally just called the other man a coward, he's still hesitant to put all his feelings and thoughts out there, although perhaps there's something of the truth creeping into his voice as he speaks. ]

Do you have feelings for me, Alhaitham?

( kaveh is close.

that’s what alhaitham’s mind focuses on, first. skinship is not uncommon between them when kaveh drinks: touches to shoulder, alhaitham hoisitng kaveh over his shoulder to drag to bed. none of this is too out of the norm.

except kaveh has never sounded like that before. and kaveh has never said that before.

alhaitham sighs, his hands only mildly shaking where kaveh holds his wrists. )

Yes. ( he thought it had been quite obvious, but maybe kaveh is as dense as he once thought. ) I suspect half of the Akademiya knew. ( he wasn’t very subtle. )

[ Under such circumstances, Kaveh would normally be inclined to close the last of the space between them and kiss Alhaitham for all he's worth. After all, it's the desired conclusion to months if not years of yearning, something he's dreamed about for too long—

But he's taken off-guard by the other's statement that he believes half the Akademiya is in the know, Kaveh's jaw dropping in disbelief. ]

Half of the Akademiya?! There's no way that half of the Akademiya knows! You're so obtuse that it's a wonder if anyone knows what you're thinking or feeling at any given time; Archons, even I didn't know, and I can usually—

[ He cuts himself off mid-tirade, expression softening, a hint of pink leeching into his own cheeks, because he's going about this all wrong— ]

I'm in love with you, you idiot. I have been for years.

( he’s very much convinced that most knew. anyone who spent more than a few moments with them would have noticed alhaitham’s affection and fascination, he thinks. it was so contrary to the indifference and lack of interest he showed others.

ah.

alhaitham had suspected his affection may be requited if only because kaveh, for all his complaining, lived here, kept showing as much unspoken kindness to alhaitham as alhaitham did to him. little gestures. a safe place to call home.

he hadn’t expected kaveh to be in love. maybe he should have. )

If that is the case, are you prepared to stop self-sabotaging yourself?

relationship status | a meme ♡

i’m having so many feelings for them

me too, they're both so dumb

1/2 sorry for the short tag but also not sorry

2/2

never apologize; I snorted

💖

kaveh's classical response: get mad

the classic shaking chihuahua mode

when it comes to alhaitham he knows very little else

poor kaveh :,,,)

"poor kaveh" is honestly, like... the truest statement to ever exist.

OH KAVEH…

but he......... nah, I got nothing.

rest in pieces kaveh…

or is the shoe on the other foot now?

the shoe is on the wrong person and wrong foot

1/2 (the shoe is honestly probably confused at this point)

2/2 (the shoe has gone to the moon)

HELLO???? kaveh i’m so proud of you

sometimes he has his moments!

the shoe is back

it came back from the moon and is now wavering between them, unsure to whom it should go

this poor shoe. it’s poor sole. get it, like soul—

...... get OUT, cyno

cyYES