Fail Sex Meme

[memesss]

 Fail Sex♦The Meme


While it would be fantastic if it was, not all sex is magical. Sometimes, sex is awkward and funny or just really, really bad. Sometimes people just fail at it and don't know what they're doing! Or something goes wrong and ruins it all.

It's all about how you handle it...

- Post your character's name | series | preferences.
- Not anything you might not be interested in playing out.
- Others go to random.org and role 1-3 for a type of fail, then 1-10 for specifics or make up your own.
- Respect others.
- Have fun!

bodily functions →

1 ♦ happens to everyone...
You can't get it up or you're just not getting wet enough for this to be comfortable. Don't worry, this happens to everyone at some point.
2 ♦ cramps/injury!
Ouch, your leg is cramping or your back is protesting the position. Maybe you fell off the bed and hit your head. Ouch.
3 ♦ Can't get there.
Is it the position? Your partner? Whatever, you just can't get off tonight.
4 ♦ Broken!
Oh, oops, the condom broke. Or maybe you forgot to pull out fast enough, take your pill or some other contraceptive fail.
5 ♦ Embarrassing noises...
You just got caught passing gas or something equally embarrassing.
6 ♦ minute man
You just came way too fast.
7 ♦ blame it on the alcohol.
That last drink sounded great, but now you're literally too drunk to do anything.
8 ♦ I'm fine...
You can't do it because you're actually injured and your lover would definitely see if you took off your clothes. Maybe you can be clever about it...
9 ♦ love bites
Those aren't from your current partner... well, maybe there's a good explanation as to why they're there!
10 ♦ sick
You're down with a cold or flu and you just don't feel very sexy at all.


mental blocks →

1 ♦ guilty
You might want to, but you did something wrong and you don't feel like you should have the right.
2 ♦ distraction
You just have way too much on your mind to focus today...laundry, bills, work, school. Maybe you're just trying to figure out the plot to that movie you just saw!
3 ♦ not in the mood
You're tired or just not in the mood, no matter how hard you try.
4 ♦ wrong name
You just called out the wrong name... sorry, honey.
5 ♦ jealous
You think you saw your lover with someone else and you're too mad to care about sex right now.
6 ♦ it's not you- okay, so it is...
You're just so totally turned off by your lover right now...
7 ♦ over the line
Dirty talk is great, but not that name!
8 ♦ laughter is not always the best medicine
Your lover is trying so hard to be sexy for you, but you just can't stop laughing...
9 ♦ nervous
It's your first time and nerves are making it so hard to do. You just don't even know what you're doing...maybe you should wait!
10 ♦ trauma
Trauma is keeping you from enjoying this moment to the best of your ability. 


outside influences →

1 ♦ caught in the act
You were caught in the middle of the act and the reaction wasn't great.
2 ♦ where did i put that...
You can't find the lube or the condoms or that nifty new sex toy...
3 ♦ phone
The phone just won't quit ringing!
4 ♦ another person's clothes...
You were getting hot and heavy until you find a suspicious item of clothing shoved under the pillow or cushion, maybe under the seat of the car! Hey, maybe there's an innocent explanation!
5 ♦ stop cockblocking me, bro!
That friend of yours is making sure you're not going to get any tonight... maybe on purpose.
6 ♦ threatened
You were threatened to not be with your lover anymore, so you better try to explain yourself.
7 ♦ Weather
Outside sex sounded great! Until the weather picked up... Snow or a lightning storm just aren't very sexy.
8 ♦ wrong person!
You just sent a sexy message or photo to more than just your lover!
9 ♦ I want to suck your duck
Auto-correct just wants to spice up your sexting, that's all.
10 ♦ not working...
That toy or being tied down is just not going to work for you...

Comments

Jaime Reyes | Young Justice | OTA

[hasnomentor]

Violet 'Vod' Nordstrom | Fresh Meat | OTA

[gentlenodes]

roman godfrey ;; hemlock grove ;; ota

[upier]

Tony Stark | MCU

[manofiron]

2:10

[agentx13]

[ Sharon isn't waiting until tomorrow to hate herself for this. She started hating herself for it as soon as she'd first kissed him clumsily at the bar. She shouldn't have. She knows she shouldn't have. Steve is dead, and she murdered him. She knows why she kissed Tony. She knows why she's still here, her shirt tossed carelessly aside and her hands struggling with Tony's pants. She needs Steve, but Steve is gone, and Tony is the closest she can get to him. Tony carries as much guilt over Steve's death as she does - even though she feels she deserves it more. She's known Tony for years, hung out with him and Steve, known she could depend on him to save Steve when she couldn't.

Except for this time. This time, nothing could save Steve, and she was left alone, trying desperately to find any of that closeness she'd had with Steve.

And she hates that the closest she can come to feeling like she's with Steve again is Tony, the man she'd originally blamed for his death, the man whom part of her still resents - will always resent - for not saving Steve when she couldn't. ]

Kiyotaka Ishimaru | Dangan Ronpa | OTA

[justicealwayswins]

Touta Matsuda | Death Note | OTA

[matsudaaa]

Jack | Bioshock | ota

[obeyseventually]

[[nothing ruins sex faster than surprise bees]]

surprise bees you say

[who_is]

[Really, Atlas should have known something about this was going to go terribly wrong. It's a wonder why he even agreed to it in the first place.]

Christ, lad, would you put that away? [He stops whatever he's doing to swat away one of those bees. How did his life come to this.]

Yukiko Amagi | Persona 4 | OTA

[innfierybloom]

[A new muse for me so forgive the bumps and bruises and horrible cooking.]

Legolas | LOTR | m/m

[mirkwoodprince]

Nuada Silverlance | Hellboy

[wagingwar]

Josef Kostan | Moonlight

[fangedplayboy]

Kadaj | Advent Children | m/m

[merepuppet]

Nagi | SMT: Devil Summoner 2 | OTA

[conjecture_this]

Asami Sato | The Legend of Korra

[chittybang]

3 | 1 - caught in the act!

[anatural]

[SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM] IKKI GET OUT!!!!!!!!

[The little girl runs off and Korra would give chase except she's kind of naked. She groans and buries her head under the covers.]

Loki | mcu | m/m

[bitterbrother]

Bilbo Baggins | The Hobbit | m/m

[masterburglar]

Re: 1-2

[sonof_thrain]

[Thorin wanted to show how much the hobbit really meant to him tonight but felt a stab of pain when he went to wrap both arms around him. Curse that damned old injury playing up again. He had gained a nasty wound while fighting at the battle of Azanulbizar and now it was plaguing him again.]

Vicki Nelson | Blood Ties | ota

[hellmarks]

Erica Reyes | Teen Wolf | ota

[werebitch]

Nikaido ➝ Dorohedoro

[hungrybug]

Jane Foster | mcu | ota

[baddriver]

Rin Tohsaka ❧ Fate/Stay Night ❧ ota

[cgidolphins]

1 • 6 wow i am not even sorry

[disenfranchised]

[ of course this day had come! the day that tohsaka rin had finally seen the error of her ways after the two of them unknowingly got completely jacked on wine coolers and shit. who knew that jungle juice was alcoholic? it sounded like something you give to a child. nevertheless, it had been inspiring! in a moment of pure genius, shinji had dared her to sleep with him, wondering if he could possibly incite her aggressively competitive nature in his own favor for once. he goaded rin until her shirt hit him in the face and the next thing they knew, he was fixing to gift her with a first class ticket to pleasure town. yeah, that's right, he's gonna take her there. no need for a co-captain on this private flight, just the socialite mistress passenger and captain matou, taking off & quickly gaining altitude --




and subsequently crashing in two minutes and fourteen seconds.

casualties in this tragedy are yet unknown, but the prospects look grim. ]

Jessica Moore | Supernatural | OTA

[almostnormal]

Bruce Banner | MCU

[sardonicism]

1 ) 1?

[liabilities]

[ They still have all their clothes on by the time they tumble into bed together; Natasha makes sure of it. She knows that space is important, which is part of why she lies beside him rather than straddle his lap, long, tapered fingers cupping the side of his jaw as she kisses him.

It's not that Natasha doesn't like sex — it's that, for the most part, it's a generality. Sometimes it's good, like a refreshing drink on a cold day; other times, it's hit or miss. She knows through being who she is that it's not that Bruce isn't enjoying it, even if her hand snakes down and finds that he's not quite there yet.

She pulls away from the kiss with a small smile, no harm, no foul. ]

We can try again later, if you want.

Peter Parker | Spider-Man

[forsrstho]

[Someone took this ad out in the paper without Peter's knowledge. His address is underneath it, and there's no bear costume at Peter's place. If you have brought a bear costume, he will be doubly confused.]

1/2

[diplomatic_immunity]

[Knock knock. ]

jacqueline - original character - gq/m

[inyourgirlshoes]