bakerstreet | Am I your soulmate? Are you mine?

[ I'm always a fan of the red ribbon setup, but hearing the same song in each other's heads being sung by their soulmate is good too. But really I like just about anything, toss your ideas my way! ]

[ angst-- like something potentially involving Vergossen; I like AUs where maybe Essek may have scars on his arms from where Bren/Caleb was used by Trent; as some sort of shared pain Soulmate trope. So when Caleb and Essek meet, the reason why Essek is very modest is because of those scars and then in Aeor when Essek has to strip down to check for eyes, Caleb sees the forearms which are as scarred as his own

I know we need another thread like a hole in the head though ]

Edited 2023-03-04 16:49 (UTC)

Edited 2023-03-04 13:26 (UTC)

[ota platonic, cast-mates or m/m for romantic]

(( umm yes please give this to me thx

I love the angst.

And will happily hoard threads with you so... ))

[ When Essek had followed them into Aeor, he had somewhat known what he had been getting into-- it had been at Caleb's insistance that had been the clinching factor, something about those eyes had made it impossible for him not to agree, it was similar to how he had felt upon giving those lessons to the Wizard. It had been something he had been not so prepared to feel.

And so into Aeor they delved, a group of eight working to fight a grand power that the world did not know about-- but stood to affect them at any rate. There had been so much that affected them, affected him-- especially when he realized the Assembly was onto him, and would likely now work to hunt him down.

It was the choice between two certain deaths, and when he had to think about it-- the option was not really an option at all. He would rather go with friends, than against foes.

What had been unsettling was the 'Eyes' and it was their first night in Aeor, after hearing the voices that Beau and Caleb had instituted a 'eyes' check. He'd felt a tingle but he had thought it was nothing, then they clamoured for him to undress to which there was a brief stilling on his part-- the group had known he was modest however he could understand this and so he allowed his mantle to fall from the floor, turning his back to the others, in the cold of Aeor he allowed them to check him.

He was careful to pull off his shirt, he was not used to being naked. He wanted to do this as quickly and efficiently as possible. As he tucked his tunic under his arms though, on his upper arm an eye of nine, and then a pattern of scars along his forearm... forearms, like little slashed marks that were like lightning cuts, but which aside from phantom pains... did not bother him. ]

It appears that I have an Eye...

Edited 2023-03-04 19:27 (UTC)

[Open to all scenarios, but I do have a weakness for people marked as soulmates who initially don't get along (though that's not required).]

[They had needed Essek with them; Caleb truly believed that. For what they were doing, the drow wizard was brilliant with magic and understood the strange play of Dunamancy that would help them survive Aeor, if they were lucky. But something more darkly selfish simlpy wanted the other man with him. He couldn't exactly put a name on it, but there'd been a pull to him since the moment they'd first met, and even the emotional earthquake of finding out that Essek had been the one working with the Empire to steal the Beacons had not shaken it.

They'd survived the day at least, and now it was simply a matter of making sure this strange and worrying condition of these eyes appearing has not spread. So it was only natural that they check their friends.

hen Essek disrobed though, Caleb's attention was not focused on the eye that now marred that perfect, lavender skin, oh no. Instead his own gaze was focused on the scars along his arms. The familiar scars. His own hand went to grip his own forearm without consciously realizing it. He wanted to ask. He needed to aks.

But he pushed the thoughts down and back as hard as he could for the moment at least.]

So it does. Only the one, at least. But we will need to finish this soon, before we are all overcome. [Not great.]

[ just as in Eiselcross, Essek does not meet Caleb's eyes as he is given the once over, and once the eye is located, he quickly pulls his tunic on over his torso and then follows it with the mantle. It is easy to use the cold as an excuse, after all the chill in the air is not ideal at all but is convenient enough to get his clothing on so he does not tarry.

He comes back to the float and watches the party with a tinge of embarrassment while he rubs his hands together, normally cool blooded but the flush of embarassment is what stains his skin and then makes it colder than it actually is. ]

I agree with Caleb, we should press forward, the sooner we get to Lucian.. the sooner we finish this.

[ Settled in Widogast's dome, he settled in close to one of the edges then, still floating in a cross-legged position and making himself appear smaller. The Dome was close-knit and very much the sanctuary it was reported to be, there was very little space to situate. ]

I only need four hours so I can do two watches, that allows someone extra sleep, yes.

[Caleb understood that lack of eye contact, but he had decided he hated it. There were broken things between them that ought to be mended, especially if they were likely to die tomorrow. It would not do to leave things as they are.

With Essek's generous offer to take double watch well, that gave him the opportunity. Once the rest of everyone had gone to sleep, once it was the drow's turn to keep watch, Caleb Widogast rose and moved to settle himself by Essek's side.

Close. The dome was warmer than the icy air around them, but a chill seemed to have permeated its way to his very bones, and he craved the proximity.]

I'm grateful that you came with us, you know, though I am sorry to have dragged you into so much danger. [The appearance of that eye was evidence enough of that.]

You do not have to apologize for anything, I insist that you do not--

[ The human wizard was so warm, warm as a fire on a cold winter's day and was attempting to push that bone chill away just by proximity. Around them, the Nein slept-- Yasha and Beau spooning, Fjord and Jester side by side with hands touching, Veth and Cad even cuddled up close for warmth.

Everyone acting like each moment was precious, like the world may end tomorrow. As if they all could end tomorrow and the world would nary remember. Essek had never felt strongly about anything but save for his ambitions, until them and until Caleb Widogast. And he'd not known pain until he'd felt the knife go into his own neck as surely as it had gone into Caleb's..

And he'd known that Caleb was his soulmate.

When they had parted and he knew he'd disappointed the wizard, had betrayed them. Oh yes, he'd taken it hard with the realization that he did not deserve his own soulmate and he would hold himself apart from that perhaps as some divine retribution. ]

Consider this my way of.. atonement?

Edited 2023-03-05 03:00 (UTC)

(specific weakness for tattoos, shared memories, mindspeaking before meeting - but very open to all scenarios)

You have nothing to atone for with me, Essek Thelyss, that has not already been forgiven.

[It was simple enough to say.] There are things to atone for in the greater world, sins that cannot be so easily forgotten. But I am a man with my share of those too. All we can do is try to be better than we have been. And hope we can manage it.

[This was the path forward that Caleb had landed on, the only one that allowed him to continue forward despite the weight of the wrongs he had done. They were still heavy to carry, but at least he could carry them. And he found they became more bearable when he was no longer alone.

Reaching out, he set a hand oh so tentatively against the other man's forearm.]

Where did you get those scars? They are like mine. [They are identical to his. But Trent had never laid a hand on Essek that he knew of -- if he had that was all the more reason that man deserved to burn.]

[ For a moment their was the barest hint of a flinch; it was perhaps a similar reaction to how Caleb reacted to his forearms being touched-- though he did not feel anything other than phantom pain. With the scars, he had found that it had hurt the most at the inception of them, and while there were reminders, aside from the occasional phantom pain, they were only there as a remembrance-- a reminder that his soulmate lived.

For a long time he had thought that whomever was on the other side of the pain had died. It had been that silence that had done it, such cold-silence that he was sure that his soulmate had been dead. He'd worn those scars in requiem of what would never be his, he had thrown himself into studies, his work to accept what was to be. ]

These scars, they... [ He felt reluctant to share this even as his body relaxed to the touch against his forearms ] The first one appeared while I was asleep, nearly 18 years ago.

[Caleb's mind was too attuned to time, that he did not have to think much on the math of that.] Yes... that was when it started, wasn't it? Sometimes it feels so recent.

[But his life had been interrupted in between then, trapped in a prison of his own mind and suffering, kept there by the tainted magic of lies that Trent had forced into his brain. But that didn't matter right now.

Essek mattered, the small puzzle pieces that were falling into place and creating a picture that was finally coming clear. Caleb had never remembered the appearance of any scars on his body, and when he'd been younger, he'd assumed that he did not have a soul mate. Later when his life had come crashing down, when he'd come back to himself, he'd decided it was probably better that he didn't. He was too damaged to meant for someone else.

His hand drifted featherlight down that forearm, down until his fingers moved along Essek's hand, tracing tot he ends of his fingers before deliberately lacing them together with his.]

They hurt. I'm sorry they hurt. [He looks from their hands back to Essek's.] Am I yours?

[ That was the crux of it, the 'am I yours' that came so plaintively from those lips, a question and one that made him both systematically fierce and saddened at the same time. Was he Caleb's? Yes, he knew he was Caleb's. He'd always known ever since the beginning with how he'd been enchanted, thinking that he had been awakened from a slumber to have that hope to.. to feel again what his own everything had been too numb to understand.

Then the knife stab to his neck, and then when they had been in the hot tub in the Xhorhaus, he'd seen those scars and he'd known. He'd been so close to telling Caleb, but not yet; he'd been so close to admitting it to Caleb after they had finished Veth's spell-- but he'd convinced himself to wait. And then?

It had been too late.

He nodded slowly as he watched Caleb's hand wind to take his own and to curl their fingers together. They were approaching certain death, they would likely not have tomorrow. And if it came down to it, they would have to give their everything to put an end to Lucian-- they were not afforded anything other than the moment. ]

Yes, I am yours..

[ and a tear started to slip down, to cool on his high cheekbone as he regarded the enfolded fingers, how palm pressed effortlessly to palm ]

I do not deserve you however...

[It was a fraught time to be coming to this realization. Caleb would have asked why Essek had not said anything, but he could guess the whys. There had always been a reason, always an excuse. He wished there hadn't been, wished that he had known.

He knew now, he supposed, and that would have to be enough. They could die tomorrow, likely would given what they were up against, but... None of that mattered. Even before he had any inkling of this soulmate connection, he was grateful that Essek was here with him. Now knowing that they were meant to be each other's...

Seeing that tear tore at his heart, and he reached his free hand up to brush along his cheek, sweep it away.]

I don't deserve you either.

[He answered softly, leaning close to kiss at that tear-tracked teach, the saline taste on his tongue as he lingered for a long moment before drawing back.]

But it turns out that is not how love works.

[ There was no question in the fact that Essek cheated himself toward gentle calloused hands that wiped his tear away. It was simply a matter of the pull between two circling orbits, the pull that he'd felt since they had first met and one that he had denied to himself after a point and fashion.

Like gravity.

If things had not played out in the way that they had, Essek knew he would've confessed by now. But, one could not turn back the clock-- although Essek had struggled to find ways to do so in all of the arcane researching he'd thrown himself into during his adult life. So many things he would've done differently. ]

It went from pain every week, to only a gaping void of nothing.

[ His voice was starting to artfully shatter as he cast his eyes up at Caleb, for the first time making eye contact willfully. A swirling galaxy of purple shadows within a miasma of feeling that felt hard to deal with for the Drow. ]

If I had the power to go back in time, I would have gone back and found you-- and kept you safe, but I was helpless and powerless. And the road that I put myself on was so that I would never feel helpless or powerless again, but look at where it turned out.

[ A weak and wry laugh huffed out, only half thinking that the way fate played the cards was hilarious ]

Edited 2023-03-05 12:32 (UTC)

[This is the last component of a spell circle, and now that it has been filled in, the rest of the glyphs flare to life and everything makes so much sense. Essek has been the missing piece this whole time. How hadn't he realized all this time?

He falters at those words, meeting those eyes -- those beautiful, star-filled eyes -- and a rush of realization and regret flash across his face.]

I'm so sorry. Ikithon's training was cruel, and I broke. I lost myself, was left in the Sanitarium for so many years. I didn't know... [He didn't know he'd had a soulmate waiting for him, wondering why everything had gone so silent.

But he smiles, a soft, sad thing as his hands come to cup at either side of Essek's face, thumbs caressing softly along those sharp cheekbones.]

It was a hard road with many mistakes for both of us. But it led us here. To each other. I cannot regret that.

[ It was bittersweet right here and now, to know that on the eve of the final battle, it came to this confession between them where there was so much uncertain, including their fates and futures. Those eyes though, they do not judge Caleb for those words, or what happened. Just a careful tilt to his head, a nod as he looks into Caleb's searching cerulean blue eyes and finding himself reflected there.

Those fingers are calloused but gentle and he closes his eyes against the sweet intimacy of it, like a cat rubbing against something that brought a modicum of pleasure. Cheekbones sharp enough that they could perhaps cut-- but never Caleb. ]

I do not blame you for anything, Caleb Widogast--

[ It felt fragile, the way that his hand moved up to a collar and then he placed his fingers-- gloved and cool against the side of Caleb's neck and felt the warm pulse there that thrummed reassuringly ]

It is nice-- that you know now. That whatever happens tomorrow, it does not take this moment away, that I am for you.

Am I your soulmate? Are you mine?

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