bakerstreet | Who left this baby?

The Baby Meme

You don't know where it came from, you don't know who it belongs to, but suddenly there's a baby in your presence, and it's looking like it's your responsibility. Whether this child was left behind on a train or they just showed up on your character's doorstep, something has to be done here.

Time to ask others for help.

How to Play

State your character and preferences in the top-level.
Tag around and enjoy baby hijinks!
Bring diapers.

The Responsible One
Clearly, someone has to take charge here. This child needs to be returned to its guardians!

The Reluctant One
Nope, not happening. Not dealing with this. This is not your character's problem and they're more than happy to pawn this little bundle of joy off on someone else.

The Domestic One
While this kid might not be yours, it can't hurt to make things comfortable while you think of a plan. Maybe go shopping for kids' things, unless you already have some conveniently lying around the house.

The Rational One
Hello? Call the police?

The Reckless One
The last person who should be trusted with a child. Activities include taking the child for a motorcycle ride, attempting to feed the child cold pizza and Sprite, and educating the child on what it means to be punk rock.

The Co-Parent
Teamwork makes the dream work! Congrats. You're in this together, whether you want to be or not.

Choose Your Own Adventure
Naturally, every character will react differently upon being thrown into such a bizarre scenario. Feel free to ignore all of these possibilities and have your character march to the beat of their own drum!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ The doorframes, ceilings and even most of the furniture in this particular moderately creepy suburban home are unusually well-prepared for someone of Hellboy's build and stature.

Alex makes a "help yourself" gesture to the charms. They've been keeping extras in the house since Sarah's injury.

The mice cheer again and Alex sighs at the telltale sounds of other people in the house getting up. He turns and flicks a lightswitch on his way into the kitchen, where the sounds of a large pot of coffee being put on start to drift out. ]

I have a lot of questions to ask you, but I'll start with 'where'd you find him?'

[ Alex can't identify the baby's species, but that doesn't mean it's one he isn't already familiar with. Not a lot of sapient cryptids go around showing off their newborns and hatchlings to the local human scientists. That makes knowing what to feed him a matter of educated guesses, at best. Going by the shape of the teeth, though, Alex doubts it's going to be chocolate bars and pancakes. ]

Mrrrrt!

[ This commentary is offered by Crow, Alex's rescued pet church griffin (a creature resembling a mix of a Maine coon cat and a raven) cheerfully announces his arrival, lest anyone forgot to drop food and/or scratch behind his ears. He immediately sets to weaving between Hellboy's legs and making sure his cats can detect hints of fur and feathers on his clothes when he gets home. ]

[ Hellboy slips a second charm into his pocket, already having decided a hand of cards is thinking too small (if he can get Liz in on it, too, there's gotta be a substantially more entertaining prank in there, somewhere) and follows Alex toward the kitchen.

Though he's pretty well prepared to wash his hands of the responsibility, already, the least he can do is keep an eye on the doc and his new surprise adoptee, for now, just in case things go sideways. More so than some slobber and a few missing buttons, anyway. ]

Got a call to some teardown on the crappier side of town - old apartment building, mostly empty. But the nasty I found squatting in the basement was sitting on a nest of eggs the size of basketballs. Just shells left over, except for the one our little buddy there was hiding under.

[ He pauses, considering, and then adds with a shrug: ] Think he mighta been breakfast, if I hadn't shown up.

[ Optimistically. There's a good amount of color he's leaving out, if not to spare feelings then just because he's never been particularly inclined toward eloquent storytelling.

He is, however, very much inclined toward scratching anything even remotely cat-like behind the ears. And if Crow isn't fast enough, he's going to get scooped right up into that big right hand so that he can get all of the adoring scritches a creature of his regal bearing so richly deserves. (Fur and feathers will be among the least offensive smells his cats have ever detected on him when he gets home, anyway.) ]

[ The surprised and slightly indignant squawk Crow makes when he's picked up is a good deal more avian than feline, but he doesn't protest once it's clear he's been placed on a suitable perch and is being given friendly attention.

Alex smirks, his back to the scene, but recognizing the distinctive sound of his pseudo-feline companion being bested by the affection of someone invulnerable to his talons. Without prompting, he gets the jar of Crow's liver cube treats from a cupboard and sets them on the counter. ]

So he's from an egg-laying species that doesn't guard its clutches. That's rare enough to be something to go off of.

[ He shifts back to holding the baby out and away from his body to look him over again in better lighting, making sure the ordeal didn't leave him with any yet-unseen injuries and making soothing noises that aren't entirely unlike the ones he makes at baby alligators and monitor lizards. ]

Cute little guy though, isn't he?

[ Said just as he has to dodge an incoming swipe of a tiny clawed hand to his chin, though it doesn't seem to bother him much to do so. ]

[ Hellboy considers the question for a moment, still idly petting Crow as he watches the baby take a swing at Alex. ]

I've seen uglier.

[ And meaner. Attempted murder apparently tuckers the little guy out, a jaw-cracking yawn big enough to show off all those pointy little teeth following the swipe. ]

Drank half a flask of holy water and decided he'd try teething on iron before I could get him outta my pockets, so there's nothing hinky in there, either.

[ He'd probably at least have had a touch of indigestion, if he were anything more than natural after that culinary adventure. Which definitely plants him more in Alex's jurisdiction than Hellboy's. ]

Who left this baby?

RIP the much better version of this tag lost during my laptop crash last night

oh nooo（ﾉ´д｀）rip i hate losing a tag so much

just realized you can describe them both as "cryptid cat dads." 2 nickels, weird it happened twice.

just with slightly different emphasis lol. perfect