cuntryroads (
cuntryroads) wrote in
bakerstreet2023-01-12 01:46 pm
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Double D'd up, on a Thursday afternoon. Hella stacked.

You know the "rate that ass" meme? Well, here's a meme that allows you to rate the opposite! This includes a man's chest, a woman's chest, even a treasure chest if you're really into that sort of thing. Just show it off and give a rating from 0 (the absolute worst!!) to 10 (HELL YEAH) and go from there. Simple as that! And make sure to have fun!
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That much I can understand - the bloody knuckles bit, anyway. Is there much brawling at your restaurant or does it crop up in other ways in your life? I wouldn't have thought a chef would be the one doing the bouncing; that usually a specialized job and I didn't have you pegged for the type.
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Mostly in other ways, but my chef job used to be much more violent. I was a somewhat notorious delinquent as a kid, fight-happy and all that. By the time I started at the restaurant, I had cooled off considerably—but I chose to work in what was basically a watering hole for crooks and gangsters.
It took a bit of elbow grease, but I cleaned the place up and now we're a pretty respectable establishment. Most folks still won't bother coming by, but I don't blame them. Souper Noodle sits at the end of a dingy alleyway in the seediest part of town.
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Sounds like my kind of spot. In my experience the best places are usually out of the way holes in the wall that focus more on substance than style. The company tends to be more interesting there, too. Though I'm surprised to hear it's not more popular after all the work you've put into it! I would've thought your food alone would be worth dropping in for on the regular. Maybe I could help you drum up business if you'd like! I am a businesswoman after all.
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In any case, it's back to smiling—with a tinge of sheepish embarrassment coloring the tips of his ears. Compliments will always be hard to accept, but he knows she's not pulling his leg. ]
It's true. Souper Noodle's got the best noods in town, y'know? And everyone who eats there knows how to behave—or else. But bad reputations take a long time to shed. It'll probably be a few more years before folks feel confident walking in. [ He actually takes a moment to look around as if anyone else might be watching before punching his open hand. ]
I'll never turn down good advertising. I have to make sure the goons working under me have good job security when I eventually move on, and one of the best ways to do that is to ensure that business remains booming.
No guarantee I won't steal them if I ever start my own business, though. They're basically my goons.
What kind of business do you run? You were a mercenary before. What do you sell now? ...It's not just racy photos, right?
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Now that I believe, on both accounts. But maybe with the right kind of advertising and a little facelift, Souper Noodle can level up into Souper Duper Noodle! [Already she's delving into one of the pouches at her waist to produce a notebook and pencil, scribbling a few things in it before closing it with a snap.]
That you're considering your employees' futures makes me want to help you out, so I'll even give you a discounted rate for my specialized services! [She throws him a playful wink.] Though I think you should take them with you if you decide to strike it out on your own. It's hard to find loyal friends, so you should hang onto them as much as possible.
As for me I run a merchant guild, Sparrowfeathers - we specialize in just about anything and everything from your basics of food and clothes to rare antiques. If there's something you want and we don't have, there's a good chance we can search it out.
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Heh. The Souper Duper Noodle may just be in your care, then. My future's pretty nebulous. In a perfect world, I get to quietly settle down with my cat and start a humble little ramen shack. And if I can, then I'll bring my people over. Until then, I'll continue playing head chef slash bouncer every day.
[ He finally returns the wink. ]
All-rounders, huh? I've often been sent on scavenger hunts by clients. I'll have to keep you in mind in case I need something taken care of. If you can procure blast-proof dishware, you might just have a customer for life.
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[It's a future that's also a long ways off - there's far too much work that needs to be done before she can even think about switching professions, too many promises she has to uphold. For now though there is one goal that could be within easy reach.]
You continue to surprise! Chef, bouncer, and purveyor of miscellaneous goods, huh? Well, that could be a trickier item to acquire than most, yet I actually have an idea where I may be able to find something close. A couple of my friends know how to work armor, but if I ask or bribe them nicely they might be willing to try their hand at cookware.
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Of course he does. What's she gonna do, call him on it? ]
Heh. You could hire me as your personal chef then—assuming we both make it that far.
[ There's a teasing gleam in his eyes compounded by his playful expression. It's quickly shored up. ]
Armored cutlery and utensils...
Sounds interesting. Armored dishware... Well, it you're able to connect me with anyone, I'll happily pay the finder's fee in cash or various baubles I've collected as a result of these side jobs.
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Don't make offers you're not prepared to keep! I just might take you up on that when the time comes.
[Were she not so in love with the traveling life and the whole saving-the-world thing, the idea would be sorely tempting right now.]
We can discuss payment later since unfortunately I think I'd have to play the middleman. Most people can't see or hear my friends due to their nature as spirits.
[Her eyes are keen as she watches to see what his reaction will be. She's half expecting him to think her crazy, or at least a liar of the lowest caliber.]
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[ There would be a lot of traveling, regardless. Kaito's got restless feet himself.
Spirits. Kaito pauses for a long time, tilting his head and eyeing the redhead as if she's just said some otherworldly term. Golds narrow... He's squinting...
—Abruptly, he smiles and clasps his hands behind his head. Something about his entire countenance has changed, as if he's doffed a mantle reserved for dealing with... normies. ]
I wasn't sure if you'd be on this side of the veil or not.
Communicating with spirits shouldn't be a problem.
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[During the silence Rose's gaze remain steadily on Kaito's, almost challenging him to call her out as crazy or fanciful. It'd be understandable if disappointing, not that she'd have any room to talk.
...but thankfully her concerns prove unfounded. Having met with acceptance, what little tension had been running through her shoulders drains away with the quiet, relieved laugh she gives.]
I admit there for a long time I turned my back on it. It was pretty frightening to see things other people couldn't as a kid! I'll have to introduce you to my friends sometime now that I know we wouldn't have to go through a silly routine just for you to hear them.
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Truthfully?
Her grin combined with that rush of relief just made him want to smile bright. He thinks it's sweet. He's embarrassed. ]
I have grown up surrounded by what laypeople would call the supernatural, or monsters, or demons. They're all just people to me. Your spirit friends will be, too.
...
Though I am intrigued by this "silly routine" you mentioned.
I like silly routines.
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Though something in her expression softens to hear that all kinds of supernatural beings are the same to him. It's like listening to Sorey talk about his family and his dreams of humans and seraphim living together in peace.]
They'd like that, I'm sure. So few people aside from their own kind can perceive them these days that anyone willing to call them friends is greatly appreciated.
Though one of them would miss said silly routine! When someone has a little spiritual resonance but not quite enough to speak with them on their own, it's possible for that to be bypassed by holding hands with one who can as they close off their senses - closing their eyes, covering their ears, and holding their breath, and so on. A pretty elaborate way just for two people to talk to one another, huh?
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[ Kaito resists the urge to tug at his gloves. Touch is a complicated subject for him, but... ]
Well, I wouldn't be opposed to doing the ritual for that particular spirit. I'd have to keep my gloves on, but it can be done. It sounds like an elaborite routine, but that's not too dissimilar to how we might get people from outside the veil to speak with the spirits peeking from behind it.
Whose hands would I be holding, anyway? Yours, or another's?
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I'm not sure gloved hands would work, but that's okay, it's not really necessary anyway. The spirit in question would only want to do it that way because she's a little troll anyway, not out of sentimentality or sense of propriety. Though I gotta admit I'm pretty surprised you have a method that anything like that. I thought it was strange myself the first time I heard it.
But hey, if you want to give it a try we could! Normally my friend is in charge of that since he's basically my spiritual boss, but I think we could do it with just me. How come you need to keep your gloves on, though?
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[ He trails off there, smiling—yet the expression doesn't quite reach his eyes anymore. After a few seconds of deliberation, he gently sighs and nods. ]
Suppose you should know now rather than after an accident.
Have you ever been burned or electrocuted before? The sensation that shoots up your nerves is pretty awful, and no matter how many times it happens, you don't get used to the pain. Not unless you kill your nerves.
I've got a condition where touching people produces a similar sensation. Doesn't matter if they're human, spirit, alive, dead... The only way I can dampen the effects is to wear layers.
[ Under his breath yet still audible enough, he mutters: ]
Kinda sucks that a touch-starved guy gets the no touchy curse, yeah? Real ironic.
[ Kaito clears his throat. ]
There are exceptions, and there are cases where it's mostly okay for me to touch people, but most of my life has been lived with a pair of gloves over my fingers.
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Rubbing the back of her head awkwardly for a moment, she then nods slowly.]
I've definitely burnt myself before a number of times. To put it bluntly it kinda sucks. ...but your situation seems worse than being on the receiving end. Even if the gloves help, I don't know how you could have managed all those years.
[What he says under his breath doesn't go unnoticed by her, and after a couple of moments Rose thrusts her hand out, expression determined.]
Here! Let's give it a try! I don't know what causes it to be alright or not, but I'm willing to give it a go and see if we can. Not like I haven't gotten shocked in the past!
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[ Kaito flexes his fingers idly as she speaks, but halfway through the response he winds up tilting his head. It's neither an abrupt nor obnoxious motion; just a little turn, with eyes blinking as if having made some sort of connection.
And then she sticks her hand out. What a daredevil. Some of the weight from before spills off his features, and it's with a much more genuine smile that he holds his gloved hand out. ]
Very ill-advised, but your go-getter antics have already won me over once. Here.
[ Without further fanfare, Kaito simply leans forward and clasps his fingers around hers. The shake is firm, yet there seems to be a significant amount of caution that he puts into the motion. More than firm, it's... gentle.
Though, there is a blip of tightness, and if she's paying more attention to him than herself, she'll see his arm spasm and his jaw clench.
...And he just holds it after the shake. No extra yanking or swinging. He's just holding her hand. Smile splitting into a grin, the empath settles his gaze on hers.
Wait.
There was no shock. No fire. Nothing at all. Was he lying, or— ]
It seems I may have misrepresented this conundrum by mistake. See, you were never in any danger.
[ Gloved digits squeeze gently, and Kaito has to fight back a laugh...after flinching a touch. ]
Like an idiot, I didn't specify that the one who receives the pain is me.
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At first it doesn't make any sense and she's well on her way to calling him out when he explains just where she made her mistake. Then realizations dawns and she immediately jerks back her hand, somehow going both slightly pale in the face yet with an embarrassed tinge as she looks him over with a worried gaze.]
Well, damn, why the hell didn't you say so! There wasn't any need for you to go and suffer just because I misunderstood, idiot!
[Although the insult is thrown Kaito's way, it's meant more as a rebuke towards herself for having caused him pain even if by accident. Scowling, Rose turns her furrowed brows towards digging through her pouches for a couple of gummy-like gels which she holds out to him.]
Here! Eat these, they should help alleviate some of the pain and damage I caused you. Geez... You really are an odd one, and that's saying something coming from me!
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Yet when she yanks her hand away and (seemingly) scorns him, he beams wide and looses a laugh. Rather than immediately respond, he simply takes the strange gels and—without hesitation—scarfs them all down at once. ]
...Oh. These are kind of addicti—
—Hic.
[ And that's a hiccup. It's in perfect time with the medicinal effects kicking in. Kaito looses another pitched sound before thumping his chest. ] Wow. These would completely disrupt our pharmaceutical industry, especially if they're cheap...
[ Kaito shakes his head, smoothing out his coat and beaming his brightest smile yet. ]
Sorry about that.
I just wanted to know the feeling of your hand.
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Whoa, slow down...! Take it easy there! There's plenty more where they came from!
[Her expression turns from worry to one of exasperation once he seems okay. She has to wonder if this isn't how Dezel feels always having to look after her stupid ass getting into trouble. If it is, she's beginning to get a better understanding of why he has no patience at times.]
They're pretty basic stuff where I'm from, so heh, yeah, I bet the would cause some waves.
[Finally lowering her hand she looks from it to him, then down again. The touch of other people is one of those things she'd taken for granted up until now.]
Don't go apologizing to me! You're the one who got hurt. ...was it worth it, at least?
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But if anything, Kaito just seems increasingly amused as Rose fusses over him. Maybe it's because he's seeing another side to the energetic woman, and maybe it's because eating too many gels in one bite could have hilariously catastrophic effects.
He's still got one apple-flavored gummy that survived the first Gelpocalypse. It's casually popped into his mouth as she poses her question. Without missing a beat, he holds his opposite hand out, palm up.
And there's that stupid smile. ]
I dunno. Wanna hold it again so I can get a better feel?
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Which may be why Rose is reeling so much - she's not used to dealing with anyone who comes close to matching her own level of quirky oddness and energy, and Kaito in particular is something of a mystery she hasn't quite been able to put her finger on.
But that's what makes it fun, if a touch trying. She's certainly not out to kill the guy via burning or gel overload! He hasn't struck her as someone unable to look after himself, though, so she glances from his smiling face to his hand with a hint of trepidation.]
I know you don't do promises, but you better not keel over on me, got it?
[With that she sets her own hand atop his, far more gently this time, so much so that they're barely touching at first. Only once she sure he's not about to pitch over does she allow more weight to rest on his hand.]
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Perhaps it just doesn't matter to him. Maybe he likes it. I couldn't tell you. This guy's been living rent-free in my head for thirteen years and I still don't understand him at times— ]
Don't worry. It's going to take a lot more than this to send me packing.
[ So he says.
When she ghosts her hand atop his, he can't help the brief flinch that comes from his arm tensing up. It's not nearly as visible or telling a reaction as before, and when she feels confident enough to settle more weight onto it, he reciprocates by wrapping his fingers around and holding it gently.
Golds flick open to cast a teasing, mirthful gaze. ]
Hm.
Yes, I'd say this is worth it.
Especially since I didn't order another set of your pictures for myself.
[ Kaito. ]
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It better!
[Her hands are irreparably bloodstained, but she wouldn't want to have this unintentional one on her conscience. Already she likes Kaito quite a bit and the guilt would be tremendous. Thankfully their more ginger approach to this whole touching deal seems to be working better than the last attempt, and by the time they're properly holding hands the faint tinge of color has returned to Rose's cheeks. It feels almost like the ritual of making a pact with seraphim, although less formal.
More so when he hauls out that line.]
You can be one smooth talker when you want to be.
[Meeting those piercing gold eyes briefly she finds herself looking right back to their hands, a warmth covering her cheeks as she smirks.]
I still have a few unsold extras. If you're willing to pay.
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