bakerstreet | Can't wait

Can't wait

❝Finally❞

There's always been tension between the two of you, a will-they-won't they kind of vibe. Perhaps you're even romantically involved, if that's your way. But for some reason, you haven't taken the next step yet.

Now, though, you're finally ready to be sexually intimate.

How to Play:
★ Comment with your character and preferences.
★ Comment to others.
★ Play out the scene.

Prompts:
☆ First Time: This is your first time having sex, so it was something to approach with caution.
☆ Unsure: You're uncertain of your skill or prowess or even how to go about this.
☆ Uncorrupted: One of you is more innocent, younger, more inexperienced, and the other doesn't want to take that away.
☆ Differences: The two of you are different enough - perhaps even different species - that intimacy may be an issue, but you're ready to attack it head on.
☆ Taken: You aren't "together," and one of you is involved with someone else. This is the big decision to do an act that may be viewed as heinous.
☆ Forbidden: There's been no sexual contact because it's utterly forbidden, be it incest, class difference, enemies, etc.
☆ Realization: Maybe you'd been friends, but this is the first time you've really seen them in that light.
☆ Otherwise Distracted: Whether it be a job, a holy mission, or anything else along those lines, you've just been too busy to be with someone like that because it would take your mind away from what you have to do.
☆ Finally Free: Before, you just didn't have the chance. Now you do.
☆ Only Time: You were unsure before, but now, it looks like you'll only have this once chance to be together.
☆ A Long Time: You've been separated and it happened before you could get to the good parts. You want to pick up where you left off.
☆ Desperate: You've wanted them for so long...God, this feels so good, you never want it to stop.
☆ Romantic: You want it to be perfect.
☆ Waiting Until Marriage: Doing things all proper-like.
☆ FREE STYLE

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Oh, right. The rest of the world.

Steve groans and rests his forehead against Bucky's. "No," he admits and he's definitely pouting. "But only because everyone's going to get it all wrong and they'll butt in where they're not wanted."

The very quiet, small, selfish part of Steve wants to keep this all to themselves. The world has taken so much from them. Weren't they owed something that's just theirs? Something good that's just for them?

"But I'm not going to hide how I feel about you," he says firmly with that steady conviction of his. "If you're ready, I'm ready."

And he seals the promise with a firm kiss.

He grins and kisses the pout on Steve’s lips, “It’s the pushiness that gets me, the way people seem to think they’re just… entitled to knowing someone’s life like that.” The kind of thing no one might have dreamed up back before the war. The kind of plastic intimacy of celebrities have with fans on social media still feels like a weirdly invasive thing. Private conversations on the public stage.

“I wouldn’t ask you to,” that would feel far too much like walking backwards. “but I’m okay with not handing this to the world yet.”

If not for the fact that he was already settled in the bed when Steve kissed him like that, Bucky is sure that his knees might have given out on him. He curls his fingers into the fabric of Steve’s t-shirt and pulls him close, “letting it belong just to us for awhile isn’t so bad.”

Steve has no social media. Everyone already knows his life story. Historians have turned over every rock about him from his medical records as a kid to his mother's family in Ireland. He doesn't want any more eyes on him than he already has. Considering how outspoken and confrontational he is, well, he probably would've been banned on some social media platforms as well.

"Just us," Steve murmurs softly against Bucky's lips. "I like that."

Maybe when they're done with their trip. Maybe when Bucky feels more like himself. Steve can see a million different ways they could go public with this. That is the future, though, and he doesn't have to plan it right now. Even though he kind of wants to because that's just who he is.

He grins against Steve's mouth, "Me too." Maybe they both deserved at least that much. Privacy is a lot like a secret, the only difference is it's made under good conditions. Secrets are borne of fear or shame, privacy is a choice. Sometimes, having the choice is still an overwhelming concept for him. Less these days than it was at first, but still just a little jarring every now and then.

Bucky kisses him a few times in quick succession, pulling one arm tight around his waist. He pulls back to look at him, smiling a knowing little smile. "What are you thinkin' about?"

"Just... what comes next." It's not like he can lie to Bucky. Steve can't lie in general. He can get away with the innocent "gee, shucks" act sometimes but Bucky would see right through that. Might as well be straight with Bucky.

"I have a feeling I'm going to want to punch a lot of people when we go public because they're going to be ignorant assholes." And Steve is pretty easy to provoke. He does not hold his temper well.

"But I'm trying not to think about that. I'm thinking about this." Steve kisses Bucky hard and deep, sliding his tongue back into his mouth. Time to wipe out all thoughts except Bucky.

Steve’s an awful liar, and Bucky’s always told him so. So, the honesty doesn’t surprise him. It’s little things like that, that still ends up striking him in a certain way. How refreshing that kind of genuine honesty really feels only seems to contrast against everything HYDRA stole from him.

He really wishes he could leave that behind, but if it was easy, everyone would do it, right?

“Yeahhh,” he drawls on the word a bit, laughing softly. “probably. Ignorant assholes are a plague on the Earth, unfortunately.” Bucky reaches up to cup his cheek in his hand, his thumb drawing soft lines against sharp cheekbones.

Oh.

He practically melts against Steve as he returns that kiss, hungry and eager.

Those assholes weren't here right now. Steve's not thinking about them.

He's thinking about how it feels to have Bucky kiss him like this. It feels electric and warm and hot. Steve nudges Bucky over a little bit, settling his weight on him as they trade kisses back and forth.

Finally, he has to come up for air. He's breathing faster and runs his tongue over his lips. He looks a little dazed.

"No wonder you liked kissing dames so much," he breathes. "This is really great."

He sinks back, lets Steve shift against him, deepening the kiss. Bucky chases him when he pulls away, but allows him the space to breathe.

Bucky can’t stop the way his eyes drop to Steve’s lips when his tongue darts out like that.

“Mmhmm,” he hums softly, reaching up to twine his fingers into Steve’s hair. “It’s better with you,” he smiles up at him, the grin on his face just a little lopsided.

He only got one good kiss with Peggy and it had made him feel a rush like this. Maybe if they had more time he could've really gotten to enjoy it. He's never going to compare the two but besides the showgirl Steve really hadn't kissed anyone. Natasha's kiss didn't count either.

His kiss is gentler the next time he closes the distance between them. Steve settling into the sweetness and warmth it fills him with. It's so nice.

"Really starting to love this," he warns with a playful smile and feeling very daring bites gently at Bucky's lower lip. "You're going to make me into a monster."

If Bucky knew about this weird counting-and-not-counting system of Steve's, he'd argue he was wrong and all of those counted.

"Yeah?" his eyebrows shoot up and he smirks up at him, a laugh that cuts short into a hum of approval at the nip at his lip. "Nm-Mm," he shakes his head, kissing Steve once- twice- and one more that lingers just a little longer before he mumbles, "you couldn't be a monster if you tried," he laughs softly, but it's a gentle tease, nothing meant seriously- even if he did technically mean it, still, too.

That's absolutely the wrong thing to say because it triggers that punk that lives in the back of Steve's mind.

Instead of diving in for another kiss he goes right for tickling Bucky's sides, hands sliding under his shirt. "Yeah? I can't be a monster?"

He is relentless and even after all this time he remembers where Bucky's most ticklish. Hopefully, he still is and Hydra hadn't changed that part of him somehow with their strange science.

"Nope," he says, so so very sure of himself until he sees that little mischievous glint in Steve's eyes a second before his hands slide under Bucky's shirt.

The sound he makes when Steve catches his fingers in the worst spots around his ribs is basically pure, unadulterated glee.

Suffice it to say, no. HYDRA didn't break that part of him at all.

Being tickled can be awful if it goes on too long, but honestly? Bucky didn't even know he could still laugh like this. It's good to know he isn't completely broken.

But he still has limits–

"Okay," he gasps between breaths, reaching for Steve's wrists to try to stop him. "Okay, okayokayokay- you win- oh, God, I can't breathe-" but he's still laughing, too.

Bucky laughing so free and easy makes Steve's heart sing. He thought he might never hear him laugh like that again. Another part he thought Bucky had lost to Hydra but there it is. There's Bucky.

When he stops he leans down and rests his forehead against Bucky's. Steve's so happy right there he wants to hold on to this moment as long as possible. Just the two of them laughing and happy and whole.

That's the right word for it. Steve feels whole.

Steve's forehead is pressed against his and Bucky is just trying to catch his breath, breathy little gasps still escaping a few times like an aftershock of giggles he can't quite stop yet.

He buries his face in the crook of Steve's neck. Bucky presses a kiss softly to his shoulder and breathes him in. "Iloveyou," comes in a soft mumble against his skin.

Steve feels his heart jump into his throat. He closes his eyes and holds Bucky closer. He turns his head into Bucky's hair but his voice is clear and sure when he speaks, no trying to hide it.

"I love you too."

Because of course he does. Steve's loved him since they were kids. The love is growing to something new, including some new elements Steve never let himself imagine before but of course he loves him.

He didn't expect it to hit him so hard. It isn't like it's the first time they've even said so. But it practically steals the air from his lungs as the words sink into him, and Bucky crumbles right with them into Steve with something of a strangled sob that makes him cling tighter to him- clawing, desperate, like Steve is a goddamn lifeline.

And right now, maybe he is.

He doesn't know how to tell him how this feels, he's just sure that it looks like a terrible reaction on the other side of it right now. But it isn't, it isn't negative at all, it's just more emotion than he knows how to process all at once.

It's pretty unexpected. He thought Bucky might be really happy and laugh again to hear it. It's also definitely not the first time they've said it. They've said it like this and all sorts of ways. Until the end of the line is a declaration in and of itself.

He wraps Bucky securely in his arms and holds him as tight and as close as he could.

"It's okay, Bucky, it's okay." He rubs his hands up and down his back trying to soothe him somehow. "Don't forget to breathe. It's okay."

“Oh, fuck,” he swears under his breath, shaking his head where he’s still got his face buried in Steve’s shoulder.

He shifts just enough that his cheek is against Steve’s shoulder and his words are a little clearer for it. Except for the thick sound of his voice. “I ruined it… didn’t I?”

“I’m s- I’m sorry, it’s just…” he huffs softly and hides his face again. “I’m sorry, I don’t what came over me. I just-” he swallows thickly and his tongue darts out to nervously wet his lips. “It wasn’t a bad thing, okay? I-I know that… probably doesn’t make sense but…”

Words. Words are so goddamn hard to get out of his mouth sometimes.

"No, Bucky, you didn't." Steve huffs out a breath and presses a kiss to his temple. "I love you."

Because he still does. He still loves him just as much as when he was laughing a few seconds ago. He's still stupid over Bucky Barnes even though they're like this now and not just playfully making out.

"Let's just lie down and go to sleep." Because that's the sensible thing to do.

“Yes, I did… I’m sorry,” he murmurs softly, clinging even tighter to him for a moment. He can feel it in the, admittedly very narrow amount of space between them, the air is thicker and cloying, making his mouth run dry.

He pulls back, reaching up to drag his fingertips lightly across Steve’s cheek. “I’m serious… I’m sorry. It… it wasn’t a sad tears situation,” he whispers and sniffs softly, giving him a small, watery smile. “I just-” he scoffs, a nervous huff of sound. “It sounds so stupid but…” his tongue darts out to wet his lips. Another nervous tick. “I just love you so much,” he kisses Steve, slow and deep, lingering in it for as long as possible.

"It's not stupid," Steve says against Bucky's lips. "It's not."

Well, maybe it is a little stupid to love Steve Rogers. He risks his life and gets into fights and has no real sense of self-preservation. But there's nothing wrong with Bucky loving him so much that he ends up in tears.

Steve's never imagined someone could love him like that. Steve's never really had the chance to know what that feels like and how intense it could be.

He strokes his fingers through Bucky's hair. "We've waited a long time to love each other like this. It's okay. We're okay."

Sometimes, he thinks he just ends up so overwhelmed by his emotions that it has nowhere else to go. But it helps ease some of the pressure that seems to build in him, too.

He hates crying, but he always feels a little lighter for it. He closes his eyes and settles his cheek against Steve’s shoulder, his lips brushing his neck softly. “I know…” he mumbles softly against his skin.

He practically melts into Steve and whispers, “Thank you,” in a voice that’s almost inaudible.

Steve makes sure his arm is securely around Bucky. Kissing is probably done for tonight and that's fine. He's content just to hold him like it was any other night. They've been doing this for awhile with Bucky's insomnia so it's nothing different.

Just that he could kiss Bucky come morning.

"Anytime, pal." Steve presses a kiss to the top of his hair. He lets his eyes drift closed. "Sleep well, okay?"

There’s something so comforting to the feeling of Steve’s arms around him, it makes it so easy to relax. He settles comfortably curled up in his best friend with a soft, contented little sigh.

Beat.
Two.

“Don’t leave me in the morning,” he mumbles quietly. For his run, he means, but interpret at will, Steve.

Steve understands immediately what Bucky means. They practically read each other's minds anyway. It's not hard to figure out given what happened tonight. He can imagine how it might make Bucky feel to wake up alone after a night like this one.

"I'll be here." He can go running anytime. He chooses morning because he likes to get up early. If he ends up running at two in the afternoon instead that's just as good.

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notworthallthis - 2023-01-25 16:53 (UTC) - Expand

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Can't wait

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f e e l s

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