You're now in Infomercial world meme!

[occults]

Did you ever just wish that you could live in a world of infomercials?

WELL NOW YOU CAN! THE INFOPORTAL 9000 IS EASY TO INSTALL. SIMPLY PUT IT ON ANY DOOR AND BE INSTANTLY TRANSPORTED TO A WORLD OF INFOMERCIALS! CALL NOW AND IT CAN BE YOURS FOR JUST FIVE EASY PAYMENTS OF 99,999.99$

Falling tupperware, lack of logic, no sense of physics, and two-minute batteries sold separately.


1. Comment with your character name/fandom in the subject line
2. Comment around, you're now in the world of infomercials. Comment with any sort of ludicrous invention you can think of. Pretend that your characters can't do simple tasks worth a damn.
3. Leave all sense of logic and real world physics at the door.
4. ???????
5. Don't profit because everything you know and love breaks to pieces.

Comments

Dale Cooper / Twin Peaks / OTA

[tibetanpeople]

[All the crazy fun, for a low price.]

[questionablewit]

[Hawke is scowling at the mug in her hand. It's filled with hot water. She looks quite frustrated. And quite tired.]

I'm so bored of drinking plain old hot water. If only there were something I could put in it to make it more...exciting.

[That's your cue, Coop.]

Reid Garwin | The Covenant | OTA

[garwin]

Sweetie Belle | My Little Pony: FiM \ human or pony

[sweetasabell]

[ trips over everything and breaks all the things in the most spectacularly implausible ways. Always. ]

[paluszki]

[Oh no, Poland's trying to flip burgers and it just LANDS AT SWEETIE'S FEET. Don't step on the burger, Sweetie...!!!]

[sweetasabell]

[ Of course because you said don't step on it that's exactly what's going to happen. So then she'll just going sliding into a cabinet where all the dishes are stacked. ]

[paluszki]

Sweetie!

[In his worried state, he tries to go after her and yet somehow ends up knocking the frying pan off of the stove. All the oils and grease somehow end up on the floor.

And Poland slips, right near Sweetie too where all the dishes are stacked in the cabinet.]

Poland | Axis Powers Hetalia | OTA

[paluszki]

[His life is an infomercial basically.]

[osoreirimasu]

[Poland. Poland, is that a can of soda you're trying to open? Or maybe a can of tea?

Be careful, Poland.

Japan is watching.

Only he opened his own can first and holy crap it just exploded in his hands.]

akdfj;aj;aka;fa

[paluszki]

[Poland was so busy laughing at Japan he failed to notice he also had a deadly soda can explosive as well. AND IT IS GOING OFF.

It's like this spray is neverending...?!!!]

JA--PAWWWWWWGGGGGGAWWWW

[osoreirimasu]

[omfg why are all these cans exploding??!

WHO THE HECK PUT AN ENTIRE SIX PACK NEXT TO THEM.

WHY ARE THEY ALL EXPLODING AT ONCE?!]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[paluszki]

[It's like a waterworks of soda in this room. The entire room is drenched and yet the can Poland is holding is still spraying.

In his face.]

WHY--BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

[He just blargh'd. SODA IS VERY STICKY and for some reason Poland can't just move the soda away from himself? THE ABILITY HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM HIM. HE CAN'T MOVE HIS HANDS!!!!]

[osoreirimasu]

[HE IS DROWNING IN SODA. WHY ARE THEY STILL SPRAYING EVERYWHERE?

Japan tries to throw his can, but it bounces off an impossible wall that suddenly appears and flies back to hit him in the face. He slips on the soda sprayed everywhere and falls, landing spread-eagle on his back.]

Ita---!!

[And the can lands on his face, spinning in place as it continues to spray soda everywhere.]

P-Poland-san!!

[paluszki]

[Oh no. No. Think about all the expensive damage done to the nice couch and paint job...! SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE.

And that something won't be done by Poland because he throws his can, gets up, but then the can goes to hit him in the head. So he falls and then his feet hit the cans and now the cans have flown into the air. ]

Ow!

[osoreirimasu]

[Oh god, they are both on the ground now and what is even going on?!?!?!?!?!

If only they had owned the Handy-Dandy Easy-Peezy Automatic Can Tab Pull! They could have avoided this sad, sad fate.

Not that Japan knows that because he is rolling on the ground in agony while simultaneously trying to swim through the growing sea of sodas.]

H-how are they still--

[And a can falls right onto the back of his head, smashing his face into the ground.]

!!

[Soda gods...just kill him now....]

[paluszki]

Japan! Japan! The carpet's like, completely ruined now! [JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW.

With all the cans going off, one of the streams goes into his mouth and wow it's hard to try to talk and have soda going into your mouth. THE WORST PART OF THIS IS?? It's diet. Ew he hates diet. Who bought the diet anyway?]

I hope this is okay, and if it's not, I blame the friends who enabled me

[niepokonany]

[Why are there two Polands? God, you ask the dumbest questions sometimes, narration!]

[I mean like, obviously it's because he ordered an amazing self-cloning device so he could hold the lightbulb and turn the table all by himself! I know, it's perfect! You're totally jealous that you didn't think of that yourself. FLAWLESS LOGIC.]

[Of course, even if the lightbulb thing works out as planned which it won't, there might be other... unforeseen complications.]

Oh my god, perfect. We've so got this, right?

Two Polands are always okay. Always.

[paluszki]

[A cloning device? With Polands? Nah, that can't go wrong at all!]

I believe in me! [Because they're the same, yeah...? Yeah!] I turn the table and you put the light bulb in. [Even with himself, he's bossy.]

Double your Poland, double your fun!

[niepokonany]

[And even with himself, he's not gonna take being bossed around.]

Seriously? Um, how come I've gotta do it?

[Waaaait... Wait, turning the table is totally harder work, isn't it?]

Whatevs. The totally badass Poland will let you get away with it this time!

[He starts to climb up onto the table, but the tablecloth slips underneath his feet, sending him crashing down into the middle of the table. Which promptly collapses like a cheap piece of shit, as Poland sort of flails and groans in the wreckage now on he kitchen floor. NO IT'S COOL, HE'S TOTALLY OK!]

Sorry about how long this took!!

[paluszki]

[That fall makes Poland start laughing. Even though it happened to himself. Kind of? Man, this whole thing is confusing. But it was still funny.

Until miraculously one of the pieces of table hits him in the head and he falls down. That's what he gets for laughing at himself! But now he's down and it's really hard to get up. His back isn't even that bad!]

I'm not a turtle! [HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET UP????]

Tyler Simms | The Covenant | OTA

[babywarlock]

Betta George | BtVS | OTA

[splendidpsychic]

Caleb Danvers | The Covenant | OTA

[sonofipswich]

Dante | Devil May Cry 3

[devilinred]

Sonata Shinonome | AKB0048

[sonati]

_{[There MUST be a better way!!]}

Kit Walker - American Horror Story: Asylum

[denokandafaran]

Harry Mudd (AU) | Star Trek Reboot

[space_pimping]

[Hey there, buddy/ma'am/potential customer/desperate idiot person, you know that mundane task that you do every day without a problem? WELL, no longer!

Now, imagine that you were utterly incompetent, or suddenly struck with quadriplegia, or possibly overwhelmed by massive, catastrophic structural failure of any one (or all) of your reliable appliances.

Eegads!

Don't you see the way that everything you do could go horribly, horribly wrong? Do you understand why you need whatever contraption or snake-oil Harry's peddling? You don't!?

WELL, no need for further interrobanging, good person(s).

Captain Harry Mudd is here to fix that.]

Dean Winchester|Supernatural|Gen or Destiel for smut

[impala_is_my_baby]

[Trying to seduce. Failing.]

Colin Mochrie | Whose Line

[captainhair]

Re: Colin Mochrie | Whose Line

[grandpapillon]

How can it be so hard to tell the alcohol in my refrigerator apart from ordinary beverages, such as juice? Or water?

late but hi

[whistlesoncue]

Hey Col! Have you ever noticed just how many people start their day by getting blind drunk? I sure have! And it's not just from personal experience, hahaha!

_{[ wow you're getting a look right now ok don't bring up my alcohol problem you asshole ]}

Well, we have here - songs of the alcoholic, and oh how an alcoholic can get his groove on with this special CD set! We've put 62 songs on 200 CDs, and a good portion of them are several minutes of silence for contemplative thought time, which is very important for any and all self respecting alcoholics, wouldn't you say?!