bakerstreet | The Criminal AU Meme

THE CRIMINAL AU MEME

Warning: This meme will contain violent content and possible triggers.

HOW TO PLAY:
1) Post a comment below, detailing your character and canon. For best results, DO NOT LEAVE THIS COMMENT BLANK; pick a role, or an AU, or write up a little on what you'd like to explore with your character.
2) Tag around and make magic happen.
3) If you get stuck, use RNG to select from the options below.

THE ROLE.
1) Criminal. (The one who committed the act.)
2) Law enforcement. (Cop, FBI, prison guard.)
3) Witness. (What did you see?)
4) Victim. (Probably not applicable in the case of murder. … Probably.)
5) Lawyer, judge, or paralegal. (Participant in the legal system.)
6) Private security. (Unaffiliated, but with an interest in keeping your client safe. Or in getting your target caught.)
7) Other. (Let your imagination go wild.)

THE CRIME.
1) ROBBERY. The crime of stealing via force or threat or fear.
You need the money. You're desperate. You have the gun, the convenience store is right there, and everything will be better once you've finished the job.

Or maybe you've been hired. Provide a little intimidation, and someone else will take care of all your problems.

Or it's a thrill. Rolling across the country, robbing banks as you go. A Bonnie & Clyde crime spree, and it can only end one way.

2) BURGLARY. Illegal entry into a building for the purposes of committing theft.
Non-violence, for you; you're just going to break in, take this one thing. Maybe a television, to sell for the cash. Maybe some jewelry, a computer.

Or maybe you're a master thief, dangling from a wire into a museum. Sliding through the air ducts of a skyscraper in search of a particular little item.

3) GRAND THEFT AUTO. The criminal act of stealing a motor vehicle.
You know your cars. And you can steal one in under 60 seconds. Better hope you don't get tripped up with one of those newfangled security systems.

4) MURDER. The act of killing another.
He had to die. He had to, and the guilt of knowing where you buried the body, of knowing that the police are coming after you -- it's starting to wear down your sanity.

5) SERIAL MURDER. A crime involving the killing of three or more people over a period of more than a month.
You have a drive to kill. Again, and again. Nothing satisfies it, nothing stops it. Maybe you hate yourself. Maybe you hate the human scum who only exist to go under your knife.

Or maybe you're a professional hit man. You've killed dozens, you know how it goes. It's just business.

6) CONSPIRACY. An agreement between two or more persons to break the law at some time in the future.
Mafia, Yakuza, crime families who keep their operations quiet under pain of death, dishonor, betrayal of the family. You're part of one of these operations, whether as a patriarch or a peon.

7) FRAUD. Intentional deception made for personal gain.
Blackmail. Cover-ups. Insider trading -- the marks of corporate crime. Perhaps you're a CEO who thinks they can do whatever they want. Perhaps your business is on the rocks and you just need a little time to make your golden parachute before you ditch it.

Or maybe you meant to destroy it. Maybe you're a professional con man, and you're stepping away from your latest conquest with plenty of cash in hand.

8) KIDNAPPING. The false imprisonment of another person against their will.
Do you do it for the ransom? For the money? For revenge?

Or is it a hostage situation, with dozens of prisoners, for some sort of political gain?

9) TERRORISM. The systematic use of terror, especially as a means of coercion.
For a religion, for a philosophy. But -- are you a terrorist, or are you a freedom fighter? It might just be a matter of point of view.

10) WILD CARD. For any crime not mentioned above.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dale Cooper held his gun steady as he stared down the mad scientist. This was not going well at all. There were too many civilians in danger if that... weapon went off.]

Doctor! Put down the weapon or I will be forced to take action!

[Dr. Horrible had a remote in one hand, and on the other wrist was a wrist-mounted version of his Freeze Ray. The button on the remote remained unpressed, but when he heard the special agent call out to him, his head and arm swung in that direction, aiming the Freeze Ray at his chest.]

What action do you think a pea shooter will be able to take against me?

[Dale held his gaze. No backing down now.]

You don't want to do this. You don't need to do this. There's no gain for you by staying here.

[Dr. Horrible's mouth turned down in a frown.]

You have no idea what I want or need to do.

At least let the hostages go free, so we can talk about this without needlessly endangering lives!

[Maybe appealing to his better nature?]

I'm not the one with the deadly weapon here, officer.

[He looks at the crowd, sees a woman and a young girl.]

But as a good faith gesture, I'll let two leave.

[He keeps his freeze ray trained on the agent.]

Take one step toward me, and you'll regret it.

[He decides not to point out the blatant lie regarding weapons. Signalling to a few other agents, the woman and her daughter are removed from the building.]

All right, I'm staying where I am. What are your demands?

[No one but him knows for sure what it is that the remote in his hand will detonate if pressed. Suspense helps put the terror in terrorism, you know.

And all the Freeze Ray does is literally stop time around its subject for approximately three days (he refined the technology since his ill-fated debut).

He supervises the removal of the woman and her young daughter from behind his impassive tinted goggles, then looks back to the agent.]

I want two tons of Wonderfluonium and ten kilograms of Percussionite, as well as a private freighter to carry it.

[Dale makes sure the other agents have gotten that down before responding.]

I'm afraid that depends. I need to know two things before can proceed anywhere in negotiations.

[Yep. See, he knew you would say that.]

I bet you need to know what I plan to use it for.

Not that it matters, since if I recall, the United States has the technology to replicate Wonderfluonium, and lacks the technology to use it to its full potential.

And I know for a fact that I'm the only person in the world who's willing to explore the possibilities of Percussionite.

Yeah, see that's the thing...

I need your guarantee that the hostages will be free to go once you have what you want... And it would speed up negotiations if you could tell us where to find "Percussionite."

If I get what I want - and a clean getaway - then the hostages will go free. If--

[He gestures at the agent.]

--you agree to be my hostage while I make sure that I got everything I asked for.

[Dale briefly considers the options... before bolstering his gun.]

Very well. I will be your hostage.

[Dr. Horrible regards him, and then gestures him closer.]

Come here. Hands in the air.

[Without a moment of question, Cooper raises his arms up and steps toward the supervillain.]

[When the agent is close enough, Dr. Horrible unholsters the agent's gun and sequesters it in his duffel bag.

Sorry, you might get that back in the mail in about 6-8 weeks.]

Good choice. The rest of them will go free when I find out that my demands have been met. You're going to come with me to make sure it's all there.

There's a stockpile of Percussionite in Australia.

Fair enough.

[Mentally, Dale expressed a small amount of frustration. Australia?! This might take longer then he had thought. Still, he ordered the other agents to get working on those demands.]

The Criminal AU Meme

9/10 General Supervillainy? I decided to leave Pre- or Post- up to you

Post-canon okay, then?

Sounds good

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