You only get once chance to put your best foot forward. Screw that up, and you'll be forever seared in someone's mind as the person who had spinach in their teeth, or worse!
✨HOW TO PLAY
1. Drop a top-level!
2. If you have previous CR with someone, you'll have to let them know what your first-impression of them was.
If this is your first time meeting, you'll be compelled to share what kind of vibe they give off. It's okay to be honest! Are they gross? Do they seem approachable? Do you find them incredibly hot?
3. Find out if your first impression was correct! Maybe that strange loner actually has a heart of gold? You'll never know unless you talk to them!
O... okej... I can do it... [ He'll just shuffle after him. Marik probably isn't happy he befriended someone this embarrassing but it's hard to be angry at the Swede, he is very sweet. ]
[He's dealt with all types of people in his organization. None quite this... simple but still. Swede seems a decent sort so he's willing to give him a chance.
It's also a bit of a challenge for himself to see if he can be patient and understanding to a certain extent so there's kind of a reward?
Whatever the case, Marik will take Swede to some town and buy any dress the man wants. Unless it's something really cheap. Then he'll insist they "go big or go home." Only the prettiest more gorgeous dress is what he'll buy!]
[ Judging what he's currently wearing, he'll probably pick something pink and loose, nothing very pretty or glamorous. He needs some help... of course he'll still go in it, it's hard to sell any garnment with that face. But he'll be so happy! You'll witness twirling. ]
I hope... my crewmates will not tease me. [ Probably not, they already heard him sing and knows he wants to be a mermaid. ]
[Then help he shall get! Marik might be even willing to spare some of his kohl to use on Swede to make his eyes stand out. You can't go wrong with guyliner.
The twirling will make him smile. I-It's not like helping people feels nice or something, okay?!]
Ignore them if they do. You know what you want and that's all that matters.
[ Swede's eyes definitely have a very strange shape, tiny and close together but also wide for some reason and he has very light eyelashes and eyebrows b-but maybe Marik can do something with it. ]
Ja... what I want matters...? [ Does it? It does now? He has no idea! But- but he is getting a pretty dress... he is so excited! ]
[ That is almost an impossible task, almost as impossible as putting make-up on him... but... he will probably feel more confident in nicer, clean clothes. This pink, burlap tunic and big pants outfit is not... not very flattering on anyone. ]
... He might throw in some fancy pirate clothes into their shopping trip as well. Should Swede want to switch between masculine and feminine when he feels like it.]
[He rubs his chin in thought. Yes, keeping up appearances is important. The Swede raises a very good point.]
Yes. They will.
... I tell you what, I'll grab you some more mundane looking clothes that you can wear into the store itself. This way you'll just blend in with the other customers.
O... okay... I never wore clothes other... these are my only clothes I ever had... [ He got these when he was fifteen or so, they were even bigger then. Before that he wore a nightshirt the entire day. He is not ready for new clothes! But- but it is time... ]
Oh ja... I hope so! It is okej... when I was your age I only play with my sisters' dollies... but... [ He shyly tugs at his shirt. ] I am big now... and most of my crewmates have someone... when it is my turn to find loff?
[As mildly uncomfortable as the topic is just because it's uncharted territories, Marik still can't exactly fault him. He knows what he wants in life. That's more than most can claim.
... He'll need to give the Swede a full makeover. He'd personally rather not think of this man that way but there's plenty of men out there that like the naive, innocent, feminine blonde type. Spruce him up and he'll have... his pick, the teen guesses?]
I'm guessing you want something more then just a ... uh... "booty call?"
[His face turns red. Ugh. Why did he think using that term was a good idea. What is 90s slang. Why is he discussing this.]
I don't know... what this means? [ Marik is right about that, the Swede won't even want to hold hands before marriage. He is very innocent yes but- but dumb and naive and eager to please doesn't mean he has interest in- in that... he is listening to his Mama and waiting with everything. That and he just... no clue about anything sexual, maybe no interest even. He just wants a boyfriend. Don't worry Marik, Swede is all about rugged looking men! He is a pirate after all. ]
Booty call? [ ...with that voice, it's hilarious. ]
[He will be relieved when/if he ever figures that out or the other tells him.
Marik snorts because as embarrassing as this discussion is, hearing Swede say that is kind of funny. Also thinking of J. Todd Ross uttering "BOOTY CALL" in all of his deliberate Marik cadence is pretty funny. He holds up his hands and waves them dismissively.
Right. He needs to be blunt with the man. No witty quips or analogies unless they're as plain as day.]
... A lover. You're wanting something with more substance, yes?
[Hmm. If that is the case, he'll need to teach Swede how to read people. Obviously he knows nothing about flirting but he knows how to manipulate. Flirting is a form of manipulation so...
If the Swede doesn't learn, he'll have his heart broken very easily Marik suspects.]
I want to get marry... [ It is his dream to get married and not have to swab anymore. Even just talking about these things makes him blush so badly. These are all his secret thoughts. Some of his crewmates are gay and did hook up so it's not like being gay is not accepted on the ship it's more like... the Swede being the Swede having romantic thoughts would be seen as odd. People assume he is too simple to have those thoughts. ]
Please don't tease me... I never told my crewmates...
[The Swede is bizarrely wholesome. A wonderful juxtaposition to the stereotypical pirate. People with a certain light to them, a certain purity intrigue Marik greatly.
He shakes his head, offering a reassuring smile.]
I wouldn't tease you about that. I only asked because if we're giving you a makeover, there may be men who... only want you for your body. Not your heart. Does that make sense?
W... why... why do they want that? [ Probably because his body looks like this and if his face even gets halfway passable he will end up in a brothel. Poor thing is like an extreme butterface and he must never learn. ]
Are they going to want to eat it, like the cannibals? Or sell my organs? [ He doesn't like this. ]
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Just let me know whatever one catches your eye.
[Money isn't an issue for him, thankfully.]
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I don't think I have ever been to a big city before.
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[The tomb keeper would insist sleeveless is the way to go anyways. Boy is allergic to sleeves.]
If you get overwhelmed, tell me, okay? I don't want your first experience to be a bad one.
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[He's dealt with all types of people in his organization. None quite this... simple but still. Swede seems a decent sort so he's willing to give him a chance.
It's also a bit of a challenge for himself to see if he can be patient and understanding to a certain extent so there's kind of a reward?
Whatever the case, Marik will take Swede to some town and buy any dress the man wants. Unless it's something really cheap. Then he'll insist they "go big or go home." Only the prettiest more gorgeous dress is what he'll buy!]
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I hope... my crewmates will not tease me. [ Probably not, they already heard him sing and knows he wants to be a mermaid. ]
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The twirling will make him smile. I-It's not like helping people feels nice or something, okay?!]
Ignore them if they do. You know what you want and that's all that matters.
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Ja... what I want matters...? [ Does it? It does now? He has no idea! But- but he is getting a pretty dress... he is so excited! ]
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Gods, he shouldn't be troubling himself with all of this but a challenge is a challenge!]
Right. Remember that, okay?
[Who knows, maybe Marik's teaching and semi-pampering will make the Swede's crew take him a little more seriously.
He's trying not to expect much though.]
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Okej... I will try...
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... He might throw in some fancy pirate clothes into their shopping trip as well. Should Swede want to switch between masculine and feminine when he feels like it.]
Good. I'm glad to hear it.
Now let's go get you that dress.
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...I am shy... are the people in the shop going to know I have never been to a shop before?
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Marik tilts his head.]
Ah... Hmm.
[He rubs his chin in thought. Yes, keeping up appearances is important. The Swede raises a very good point.]
Yes. They will.
... I tell you what, I'll grab you some more mundane looking clothes that you can wear into the store itself. This way you'll just blend in with the other customers.
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Don't worry. I'll grab you something that'll make you look handsome.
[... Ish.
Then, despite thinking it's probably best to burn the clothes, he'll opt for just getting them professionally cleaned instead.
Why? Because he has money.]
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Do you think... I will find a boyfriend... [ Not this again. But nice smelling clothes may help! ]
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[The man is strangely endearing. How he got mixed up with a band of pirates and remains so... light hearted is a mystery.]
... Eh?
[Marik looks surprised.]
You... might? Relationships aren't exactly my... area of expertise so I can't help you there.
[He's only a teenager himself. World domination got in the way of thinking about dating so. Yeah. Absolutely clueless, this one.
Better think of something quick though. Don't want to break Swede's heart.]
... I'm sure the new clothes and confidence will attract someone.
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[ This dress was a mistake. ]
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... He'll need to give the Swede a full makeover. He'd personally rather not think of this man that way but there's plenty of men out there that like the naive, innocent, feminine blonde type. Spruce him up and he'll have... his pick, the teen guesses?]
I'm guessing you want something more then just a ... uh... "booty call?"
[His face turns red. Ugh. Why did he think using that term was a good idea. What is 90s slang. Why is he discussing this.]
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Booty call? [ ...with that voice, it's hilarious. ]
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Marik snorts because as embarrassing as this discussion is, hearing Swede say that is kind of funny.
Also thinking of J. Todd Ross uttering "BOOTY CALL" in all of his deliberate Marik cadence is pretty funny.He holds up his hands and waves them dismissively.Right. He needs to be blunt with the man. No witty quips or analogies unless they're as plain as day.]
... A lover. You're wanting something with more substance, yes?
[Hmm. If that is the case, he'll need to teach Swede how to read people. Obviously he knows nothing about flirting but he knows how to manipulate. Flirting is a form of manipulation so...
If the Swede doesn't learn, he'll have his heart broken very easily Marik suspects.]
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I want to get marry... [ It is his dream to get married and not have to swab anymore. Even just talking about these things makes him blush so badly. These are all his secret thoughts. Some of his crewmates are gay and did hook up so it's not like being gay is not accepted on the ship it's more like... the Swede being the Swede having romantic thoughts would be seen as odd. People assume he is too simple to have those thoughts. ]
Please don't tease me... I never told my crewmates...
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He shakes his head, offering a reassuring smile.]
I wouldn't tease you about that. I only asked because if we're giving you a makeover, there may be men who... only want you for your body. Not your heart. Does that make sense?
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Are they going to want to eat it, like the cannibals? Or sell my organs? [ He doesn't like this. ]
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Because of the challenge. Damn his pride.]
No, Swede. They're not going to want to eat you.
[Not in that sense.
Marik clears his throat.]
... They'll want you for sex.
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