You only get once chance to put your best foot forward. Screw that up, and you'll be forever seared in someone's mind as the person who had spinach in their teeth, or worse!
✨HOW TO PLAY
1. Drop a top-level!
2. If you have previous CR with someone, you'll have to let them know what your first-impression of them was.
If this is your first time meeting, you'll be compelled to share what kind of vibe they give off. It's okay to be honest! Are they gross? Do they seem approachable? Do you find them incredibly hot?
3. Find out if your first impression was correct! Maybe that strange loner actually has a heart of gold? You'll never know unless you talk to them!
Oh ja... I hope so! It is okej... when I was your age I only play with my sisters' dollies... but... [ He shyly tugs at his shirt. ] I am big now... and most of my crewmates have someone... when it is my turn to find loff?
[As mildly uncomfortable as the topic is just because it's uncharted territories, Marik still can't exactly fault him. He knows what he wants in life. That's more than most can claim.
... He'll need to give the Swede a full makeover. He'd personally rather not think of this man that way but there's plenty of men out there that like the naive, innocent, feminine blonde type. Spruce him up and he'll have... his pick, the teen guesses?]
I'm guessing you want something more then just a ... uh... "booty call?"
[His face turns red. Ugh. Why did he think using that term was a good idea. What is 90s slang. Why is he discussing this.]
I don't know... what this means? [ Marik is right about that, the Swede won't even want to hold hands before marriage. He is very innocent yes but- but dumb and naive and eager to please doesn't mean he has interest in- in that... he is listening to his Mama and waiting with everything. That and he just... no clue about anything sexual, maybe no interest even. He just wants a boyfriend. Don't worry Marik, Swede is all about rugged looking men! He is a pirate after all. ]
Booty call? [ ...with that voice, it's hilarious. ]
[He will be relieved when/if he ever figures that out or the other tells him.
Marik snorts because as embarrassing as this discussion is, hearing Swede say that is kind of funny. Also thinking of J. Todd Ross uttering "BOOTY CALL" in all of his deliberate Marik cadence is pretty funny. He holds up his hands and waves them dismissively.
Right. He needs to be blunt with the man. No witty quips or analogies unless they're as plain as day.]
... A lover. You're wanting something with more substance, yes?
[Hmm. If that is the case, he'll need to teach Swede how to read people. Obviously he knows nothing about flirting but he knows how to manipulate. Flirting is a form of manipulation so...
If the Swede doesn't learn, he'll have his heart broken very easily Marik suspects.]
I want to get marry... [ It is his dream to get married and not have to swab anymore. Even just talking about these things makes him blush so badly. These are all his secret thoughts. Some of his crewmates are gay and did hook up so it's not like being gay is not accepted on the ship it's more like... the Swede being the Swede having romantic thoughts would be seen as odd. People assume he is too simple to have those thoughts. ]
Please don't tease me... I never told my crewmates...
[The Swede is bizarrely wholesome. A wonderful juxtaposition to the stereotypical pirate. People with a certain light to them, a certain purity intrigue Marik greatly.
He shakes his head, offering a reassuring smile.]
I wouldn't tease you about that. I only asked because if we're giving you a makeover, there may be men who... only want you for your body. Not your heart. Does that make sense?
W... why... why do they want that? [ Probably because his body looks like this and if his face even gets halfway passable he will end up in a brothel. Poor thing is like an extreme butterface and he must never learn. ]
Are they going to want to eat it, like the cannibals? Or sell my organs? [ He doesn't like this. ]
[ People have sex on the ship, people go to brothels but whenever they do, Swede always stays on the ship. He just... he is kept out of all of that for everyone's sake. But he should learn, at least about consent. ]
[Marik steeples his fingers and bites his lip. A sixteen year old should not be explaining this to a... he's not exactly sure how old the Swede is.
But he doubts anyone else will explain it. Better he do it and save the guy from learning about it from someone unsavory. Also consent. Consent is important, even to a sheltered, repressed, evil teen like him.
He takes a deep breath and slowly exhales.]
When you see a really handsome guy, how does it make you feel?
[ Probably like... 35-40ish?? Who knows. Too old to not know this. But- but- he should learn.... ja? It is better someone at least tells him before he talks to men who might be interested in him. ]
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[ This dress was a mistake. ]
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... He'll need to give the Swede a full makeover. He'd personally rather not think of this man that way but there's plenty of men out there that like the naive, innocent, feminine blonde type. Spruce him up and he'll have... his pick, the teen guesses?]
I'm guessing you want something more then just a ... uh... "booty call?"
[His face turns red. Ugh. Why did he think using that term was a good idea. What is 90s slang. Why is he discussing this.]
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Booty call? [ ...with that voice, it's hilarious. ]
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Marik snorts because as embarrassing as this discussion is, hearing Swede say that is kind of funny.
Also thinking of J. Todd Ross uttering "BOOTY CALL" in all of his deliberate Marik cadence is pretty funny.He holds up his hands and waves them dismissively.Right. He needs to be blunt with the man. No witty quips or analogies unless they're as plain as day.]
... A lover. You're wanting something with more substance, yes?
[Hmm. If that is the case, he'll need to teach Swede how to read people. Obviously he knows nothing about flirting but he knows how to manipulate. Flirting is a form of manipulation so...
If the Swede doesn't learn, he'll have his heart broken very easily Marik suspects.]
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I want to get marry... [ It is his dream to get married and not have to swab anymore. Even just talking about these things makes him blush so badly. These are all his secret thoughts. Some of his crewmates are gay and did hook up so it's not like being gay is not accepted on the ship it's more like... the Swede being the Swede having romantic thoughts would be seen as odd. People assume he is too simple to have those thoughts. ]
Please don't tease me... I never told my crewmates...
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He shakes his head, offering a reassuring smile.]
I wouldn't tease you about that. I only asked because if we're giving you a makeover, there may be men who... only want you for your body. Not your heart. Does that make sense?
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Are they going to want to eat it, like the cannibals? Or sell my organs? [ He doesn't like this. ]
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Because of the challenge. Damn his pride.]
No, Swede. They're not going to want to eat you.
[Not in that sense.
Marik clears his throat.]
... They'll want you for sex.
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...ja... what is that?
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But he doubts anyone else will explain it. Better he do it and save the guy from learning about it from someone unsavory. Also consent. Consent is important, even to a sheltered, repressed, evil teen like him.
He takes a deep breath and slowly exhales.]
When you see a really handsome guy, how does it make you feel?
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Shy...
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And warm? Kind of tingly?
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Hmm...
[... Oh. His shipmates!]
Have you seen when your shipmates start kissing and doing other strange things to other people?