bakerstreet | Ask me about my memes

Ask me about my memes

The Awkward Questions Meme

Does your character have a deep, dark secret? An embarrassing past? A sensitive issue? Something they really don't want to talk about? Well, too bad. That thing is now written on their chest on top of a bright red sticker, and the sticker won't peel off no matter what. Uh oh!

Rules:

Post with your character. Write out what their sticker says - it can be something dark ("Ask me about how many people I've killed"), something gossipy ("Ask me about my crush on my friend"), something silly ("Ask me about my fear of clowns") or something vague ("Ask me about my secret identity.") No blank top levels, please!
Comment to other people asking about the thing.
Have fun and be awkward.

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No, no. It's none of my business.

[His own sticker reads, Ask me about my place of birth, and that is the absolute last thing Claude wants to talk about with anyone.

So, no. Not going to snoop where it's not wanted.]

Um. [He thinks about Dimitri- prince of delusion, the boar prince... eh. There are other examples.] Yeah, of course. Are you a mercenary? Seems to work better for them.

Oh, yeah! All you have to do is find a way to use it, you know? Find some guys who everyone agrees need to die, go out and do your job, and everyone's happy. Everyone who matters, anyway. What about you? Not a mercenary, but not everyone likes rubbing elbows with us either, and the ones who do don't really want to talk about the messy stuff. Are you a soldier or something?

Sounds about right to me. [Everyone hires mercenaries. It's normal and expected.]

Oh, I should probably introduce myself. Claude von Riegan. I'm a duke, but I do also lead my troops as a general.

I'll rub elbows with anyone I can rely on to get the job done.

Nice! I love a guy who knows how to be practical.

[He grins, wide and warm, and offers his hand to shake. The duke thing makes 'ask me about my place of birth' even more interesting, doesn't it? No chance now that the Bull's going to go and ask about it, though, not after the guy was so decent about the Bull's whole thing.]

I'm the Iron Bull. And I call you... Sorry, the way you guys do your titles and stuff still trips me up. Is it 'duke Claude' or 'duke von Riegan' or do I just call you 'your highness' or something?

Glad to hear it. Too many people put pride ahead of practicality.

[Claude returns that smile and shakes the outstretched hand. A person's hands often tell a story more honestly than their appearance, though in this man's case, both point to a very experienced fighter who is confident in his abilities and not afraid to show it off.

That isn't something to ignore. Not that he can imagine ignoring someone like the Bull.

He grins at the question and casually shrugs a shoulder.]

Technically, it's Duke Riegan. But just 'Claude' is fine. And you? How do you prefer to be addressed? I've never met someone with a name like yours.

Oh yeah, just Riegan because the von's like... yeah, that makes sense. And you can call me anything you like, it's the way people say it that makes a difference.

[He grins.]

You haven't met a lot of qunari though, right? It's a little like you guys with all your royal titles, we like getting named for what we are.

Huh. That's really interesting.

[Quite the unique way to handle names. There's definitely something about it he can appreciate.]

No, can't say I have. I'll try not to overwhelm you with questions, but I would really like to learn more about your people.

[Claude's natural curiosity burns at times like these. And with the ambition to build connections between different lands and break down borders wherever he can, learning more about qunari would be very helpful.]

...Maybe over a drink? I'd be happy to treat you.

Be happy to be treated. Whatever you're in the mood for works for me.

[He heads over toward the bar, then looks at Claude thoughtfully. As long as they're both learning--]

You said you're a general, right? But you look a whole lot younger than most of the guys I've met with that job, so you guys must do the soldier thing a little differently. How's all that work?

Great!

[Claude follows. He thinks for a moment, then orders both of them whiskey. the Iron Bull looks like he'd appreciate something a bit stronger than ordinary beer.]

Yeah, that's right. In Fodlan, nobles are expected to protect the people living in their territory. No one's going to be picked to lead their house if they can't fight and lead troops.

[There are a lot of problems with Fodlan's current social class structure, but he does appreciate that the nobility take to the battlefield rather than hiding behind walls and watching their people die for them.]

I've held a bow for as long as I can remember.

And for qunari?

Oh, for Qunari it's like... nothing gets inherited. If you're already in a command position that helps, but when a position opens up whoever's around who's the best for the job gets picked to fill it. No bloodlines or anything, at least, not when it comes to deciding who gets to make the calls about troop movements or whatever.

Your stuff's pretty close, though; I've never heard of a noble family picking who gets to be in charge because of what they can do, usually it's just the family lining up whichever kid's the oldest and everyone else just hoping the new guy's going to actually give a shit. Must be a pretty rough competition to get that position, though. How do you keep everyone who's in the running from just hiring assassins to off each other? I mean, unless that's how it actually goes, in which case, not judging.

[Okay, maybe judging a little. But not to the guy's face and not as much as he would have, once. He's spent too much time working for Orlesians not to be a little more blasé the 'assassins as a normal part of government' thing than he used to be. At least in theory. In practice it's a lot more of a pain in the ass.]

That's an admirable way to run things. I bet it takes a lot of cooperation to make it work.

[Claude can't really imagine enough people in Fodlan or Almyra agreeing to something like that. And if they did, he doubts it would remain that way for long. Once enough people rose to high enough positions of power, they would want to pass on their wealth and status to their children, and then everyone would be back to where they started.]

Well, the heir isn't picked entirely based on capability. They still have to be born or adopted into the family. And if they have something called a crest, they're almost always going to jump to the front of the line.

[He... has little interest in explaining crests to anybody from outside Fodlan. Maybe Bull already knows about them. If not, the system is going to sound confusing and absurd.

The comment about assassins hits uncomfortably close to home for Claude. His discomfort shows on his face for a moment, but he quickly pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind.]

Sure, some people hire assassins, but not too often. The Leicester Alliance, where I'm from, doesn't have a monarch, so there's less need to kill each other for the position.

[He nods, takes a drink of the whiskey -- the ones you sip aren't what he usually drinks so it's a little weird, but not bad-weird -- and tries to decide whether it'd step on any toes to ask more about the assassin thing. Not time to back off yet, he decides, not when he doesn't know what put that uncomfortable look on the guy's face in the first place.]

How's that make a difference? Not trying to sound like I'm doubting you or anything, I just grew up in a place where 'a lot of cooperation' is how everything gets done, so it all the rest is always going to come out sounding weird to me. Seems like if somebody wants the role, though, killing off the competition's going to help them out whether there's a king or queen around or not. That change the way heirs get picked?

[Claude taps his fingers against his glass, thoughtful. This is a good exercise- considering the best way to explain Fodlan's system to someone entirely on the outside.]

Part of it comes down to just how ancient many of Fodlan's noble houses are. Their origins are part of the church's religious dogma, so most people wouldn't really consider assassination a feasible option.

If the person responsible was caught, everyone would want them dead. The church would also call for their execution.

[Making it far too risky for most to attempt. Of course, the system in Almyra is very different, and Claude has the scars to show for it. Hidden, of course, under unnecessarily bulky clothing.]

The Church of Seiros has a huge amount of power in Fodlan. Do the qunari have a central religion?

Not really, but I, uh--

[It's weird, talking to somebody who doesn't know enough about the Qun to think anything specific about the implication in just why he doesn't work with them any more. Not that a lot of people know as much as they think they do, but even then, everybody's got an opinion. Weird to not have to think about that too much when he talks about it.]

I haven't worked a whole lot with the Qun in a while, so I get what you mean. No one's going to go against the church, and if they do, it's going to be a huge deal. Bet that makes things a whole lot neater, huh? Shit, half of the nobles I work for already think they're the Maker's gift-- but they love their Game stuff and all that political crap too much, probably wouldn't go for it even if the Divine decided to tell them they're right about it.

How's that work with you guys leading battles and stuff? There must be a bunch of rules about who's allowed to go for you in a fight and how and when, right? Can't imagine some footsoldier getting away with taking a piece out of a general who's been handpicked by a god.

[He knows that absolute bare minimum about the qunari, and now that he's met the Iron Bull, that ignorance feels particularly unacceptable. Even if he knew more, however, Claude knows the value of keeping his judgments to himself. Helps people open up when they aren't on the defense.]

Neater... maybe.

[It's obvious he doesn't agree or approve, but Claude knows that he needs to keep the bulk of his opinions on the church to himself for now. Change will come eventually, he intends to see to that personally, but if he shows his hand too early, he might end up branded a heretic.

And while Bull has no connections in Leicester nor any reason to care, Claude doesn't take unnecessary risks.]

There aren't any written rules about who can attack who in battle, but there are plenty of norms that might as well be law. Generals face off against generals. Usually a few words are exchanged before the fight. It's seen as honorable to offer the opportunity for surrender before landing a killing blow.

[He has certainly accepted surrender from his enemies before. Makes it a lot easier to deal with the defeated general's troops.]

What rules of war do the qunari have? Does the Qun outline most aspects of life?

[Drink forgotten, Claude is watching Bull intently, soaking up any information he can get.]

[So, not real fighting, is what the Bull definitely isn't going to say. He's done those fights too, where you give the other guys a chance to surrender, take prisoners, make sure they're treated right, all the legalities. They're alright, and there's always a chance you're not going to make it out. But a general who can only fight other generals isn't going to get the chance to lose himself in the other kind of fighting, which is... maybe a shame, for a soldier. Or maybe it isn't one. Doesn't matter either way, it would just be a dick move to say it.]

Uh, most aspects, yeah. As far as war goes, though... Not a lot, I guess? At least, not when it comes to what you do to the other guy. You win more than you lose, make sure most of your guys make it out most of the time, that's pretty much all the Arishok's going to expect out of anyone who's in charge. Actually had a lot more rules to follow once I started with the mercenary thing. Everywhere has slightly different rules for engagement and whatever else, so if you want to stay legal in as many places as possible you've got to keep up with all of them. Is it like that where you are too? People outside, uh, Fodlan have different rules for all that stuff?

[The generals do fight ordinary soldiers as well, but it's... a bit complicated. Like many other aspects of life in Fodlan.

Again, Claude doesn't bother to explain in too much detail.]

Yeah. There are a lot of unspoken rules.

[A lot that he doesn't always follow. His use of less than traditional tactics has earned him quite the reputation... if they didn't lead to successes, people would probably have chased him out of Leicester by now.]

It's really a shame, having all those rules. I might bend them from time to time. Just a little.

[The Bull chuckles.]

I mean you've got to, right? A good leader knows which rules need to get bent a little bit to get the job done. Especially when they're the unspoken ones. I mean, say what you want about the Qun, at least they let everyone know where they stand when it comes to what you're supposed to do. I guess that's part of doing the whole nobility thing though, right? Bunch of expectations and stuff no one talks about so they don't have to admit they're all breaking the rules in secret, or... I don't know, however it is they operate. Looks like a pain in the ass from the outside.

Outside or not, you seem to have a pretty good feel for how things work. Been around a lot of nobles?

[Claude asks casually, but he is quite interested to hear the answer.]

Oh yeah, that's how I get food on the table. My company, the Chargers, we're not exactly in the price range of the average worker off the street, so a lot of the stuff we do just boils down to helping a nobles out with their fancy dick measuring contests.

[He grins. If Claude was a certain kind of noble that comment would probably annoy him. The Bull's pretty sure he isn't and that it's going to be fine, but still, it's usually a good idea to poke at people a little so you're certain you've got a good idea about who they are.]

So I get to see a lot of it up close, without having to actually do any of it. You get the money and the fancy food without a lot of that backstabbing drama crap. It's a pretty good deal, if you can push through the first few years building up your reputation. What about you? You been uh... duke-ing for that long? If no one knows who's going to get the job until later on it must be a lot to get used to, getting thrown into it like that.

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