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Ask me about my memes

The Awkward Questions Meme

Does your character have a deep, dark secret? An embarrassing past? A sensitive issue? Something they really don't want to talk about? Well, too bad. That thing is now written on their chest on top of a bright red sticker, and the sticker won't peel off no matter what. Uh oh!

Rules:

Post with your character. Write out what their sticker says - it can be something dark ("Ask me about how many people I've killed"), something gossipy ("Ask me about my crush on my friend"), something silly ("Ask me about my fear of clowns") or something vague ("Ask me about my secret identity.") No blank top levels, please!
Comment to other people asking about the thing.
Have fun and be awkward.

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[He nods, takes a drink of the whiskey -- the ones you sip aren't what he usually drinks so it's a little weird, but not bad-weird -- and tries to decide whether it'd step on any toes to ask more about the assassin thing. Not time to back off yet, he decides, not when he doesn't know what put that uncomfortable look on the guy's face in the first place.]

How's that make a difference? Not trying to sound like I'm doubting you or anything, I just grew up in a place where 'a lot of cooperation' is how everything gets done, so it all the rest is always going to come out sounding weird to me. Seems like if somebody wants the role, though, killing off the competition's going to help them out whether there's a king or queen around or not. That change the way heirs get picked?

[Claude taps his fingers against his glass, thoughtful. This is a good exercise- considering the best way to explain Fodlan's system to someone entirely on the outside.]

Part of it comes down to just how ancient many of Fodlan's noble houses are. Their origins are part of the church's religious dogma, so most people wouldn't really consider assassination a feasible option.

If the person responsible was caught, everyone would want them dead. The church would also call for their execution.

[Making it far too risky for most to attempt. Of course, the system in Almyra is very different, and Claude has the scars to show for it. Hidden, of course, under unnecessarily bulky clothing.]

The Church of Seiros has a huge amount of power in Fodlan. Do the qunari have a central religion?

Not really, but I, uh--

[It's weird, talking to somebody who doesn't know enough about the Qun to think anything specific about the implication in just why he doesn't work with them any more. Not that a lot of people know as much as they think they do, but even then, everybody's got an opinion. Weird to not have to think about that too much when he talks about it.]

I haven't worked a whole lot with the Qun in a while, so I get what you mean. No one's going to go against the church, and if they do, it's going to be a huge deal. Bet that makes things a whole lot neater, huh? Shit, half of the nobles I work for already think they're the Maker's gift-- but they love their Game stuff and all that political crap too much, probably wouldn't go for it even if the Divine decided to tell them they're right about it.

How's that work with you guys leading battles and stuff? There must be a bunch of rules about who's allowed to go for you in a fight and how and when, right? Can't imagine some footsoldier getting away with taking a piece out of a general who's been handpicked by a god.

[He knows that absolute bare minimum about the qunari, and now that he's met the Iron Bull, that ignorance feels particularly unacceptable. Even if he knew more, however, Claude knows the value of keeping his judgments to himself. Helps people open up when they aren't on the defense.]

Neater... maybe.

[It's obvious he doesn't agree or approve, but Claude knows that he needs to keep the bulk of his opinions on the church to himself for now. Change will come eventually, he intends to see to that personally, but if he shows his hand too early, he might end up branded a heretic.

And while Bull has no connections in Leicester nor any reason to care, Claude doesn't take unnecessary risks.]

There aren't any written rules about who can attack who in battle, but there are plenty of norms that might as well be law. Generals face off against generals. Usually a few words are exchanged before the fight. It's seen as honorable to offer the opportunity for surrender before landing a killing blow.

[He has certainly accepted surrender from his enemies before. Makes it a lot easier to deal with the defeated general's troops.]

What rules of war do the qunari have? Does the Qun outline most aspects of life?

[Drink forgotten, Claude is watching Bull intently, soaking up any information he can get.]

[So, not real fighting, is what the Bull definitely isn't going to say. He's done those fights too, where you give the other guys a chance to surrender, take prisoners, make sure they're treated right, all the legalities. They're alright, and there's always a chance you're not going to make it out. But a general who can only fight other generals isn't going to get the chance to lose himself in the other kind of fighting, which is... maybe a shame, for a soldier. Or maybe it isn't one. Doesn't matter either way, it would just be a dick move to say it.]

Uh, most aspects, yeah. As far as war goes, though... Not a lot, I guess? At least, not when it comes to what you do to the other guy. You win more than you lose, make sure most of your guys make it out most of the time, that's pretty much all the Arishok's going to expect out of anyone who's in charge. Actually had a lot more rules to follow once I started with the mercenary thing. Everywhere has slightly different rules for engagement and whatever else, so if you want to stay legal in as many places as possible you've got to keep up with all of them. Is it like that where you are too? People outside, uh, Fodlan have different rules for all that stuff?

[The generals do fight ordinary soldiers as well, but it's... a bit complicated. Like many other aspects of life in Fodlan.

Again, Claude doesn't bother to explain in too much detail.]

Yeah. There are a lot of unspoken rules.

[A lot that he doesn't always follow. His use of less than traditional tactics has earned him quite the reputation... if they didn't lead to successes, people would probably have chased him out of Leicester by now.]

It's really a shame, having all those rules. I might bend them from time to time. Just a little.

[The Bull chuckles.]

I mean you've got to, right? A good leader knows which rules need to get bent a little bit to get the job done. Especially when they're the unspoken ones. I mean, say what you want about the Qun, at least they let everyone know where they stand when it comes to what you're supposed to do. I guess that's part of doing the whole nobility thing though, right? Bunch of expectations and stuff no one talks about so they don't have to admit they're all breaking the rules in secret, or... I don't know, however it is they operate. Looks like a pain in the ass from the outside.

Outside or not, you seem to have a pretty good feel for how things work. Been around a lot of nobles?

[Claude asks casually, but he is quite interested to hear the answer.]

Oh yeah, that's how I get food on the table. My company, the Chargers, we're not exactly in the price range of the average worker off the street, so a lot of the stuff we do just boils down to helping a nobles out with their fancy dick measuring contests.

[He grins. If Claude was a certain kind of noble that comment would probably annoy him. The Bull's pretty sure he isn't and that it's going to be fine, but still, it's usually a good idea to poke at people a little so you're certain you've got a good idea about who they are.]

So I get to see a lot of it up close, without having to actually do any of it. You get the money and the fancy food without a lot of that backstabbing drama crap. It's a pretty good deal, if you can push through the first few years building up your reputation. What about you? You been uh... duke-ing for that long? If no one knows who's going to get the job until later on it must be a lot to get used to, getting thrown into it like that.

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