The Bad Customer Service Meme

[prat]

“Thank you for calling Walmart, how may I help you?” Whoever you are, wherever you're from, whatever you were doing two minutes ago, you have suddenly found yourself the victim of a terrible fate - or at least a really bad joke. That's right, you're at Walmart, and you're the sucker they've assigned to customer service. There's a desk and a phone and a cash register, but most importantly there is a phone planted in front of you, every line busy, and otherwise ringing off it's hook. Each blinking light on the panel represents an angry customer you have to satisfy. HOW TO PLAY: 1. POST with your character, fandom, and preferences. Prepare to be bitched at. 2. TAG either in character or anonymously as a customer with a bone to pick, or maybe someone who is just bored and has nothing better to do than prank call Wally World on the weekends. 3. Have fun.

Comments

Castiel | Supernatural

[babyinatrenchcoat]

.

[(Anonymous)]

So you guys sold me a thing of K.Y. that's supposed to 'add some heat.' Guess what? It freaking burns!

Gabriel | Supernatural

[tricky_angel]

.

Sam Winchester | Supernatural

[nothisvessel]

.

[(Anonymous)]

Who do I talk to about a dead fish?

Dean Winchester | Supernatural

[hunterusheroicus]

.

[(Anonymous)]

Hello yes, I am calling to find out what your exchange policy on pharmaceuticals is.

James Bond | movie!verse | ota

[oldfashioned_007]

{ oh yeah, be prepared to be bitched right back at. (/fakesmilesmilesmile) }

fire emblem | virion

[noconcessions]

no regrets

[formulator]

[ When Virion picks up, the voice is obviously Robin, and she sounds pissed. ]

It's about time somebody picked up! Do you know just how long I've been holding for!?

Atropos | Supernatural | OTA

[ihadajob]

[Obviously, times are hard...]

[(Anonymous)]

Soooooo those lace women's underwear you guys had advertised buy one get one half off? Do those come in mens sizes?

Harold Saxon | Doctor Who | OTA

[thedrumsofwar]

[(Anonymous)]

Excuse me. Who do I go to for instrument repair? My drum is broken.

Frederick | Fire Emblem: Awakening

[battlebutler]

[(Anonymous)]

Sir, you sold me these drapes last week. I specifically asked for canary yellow, and these are sunflower yellow!! This just won't do!

Albert Wesker | Resident Evil

[tobeagod]

[There were worse fates. Just what those worse fates might be Wesker wasn't sure of as he stared down the phone.]

[He was a god, sort of. He got to sit around and snark at idiots all day, put them into On-Hold Hell when it pleased him to and could inflict the truly terrible on whichever department deserved it the most. It was looking like Electronics today.]

Wal-Mart. What is it?

Here. Have a giant alien arthropodal geneticist.

[broodofone]

[Abathur isn't entirely sure if his call was routed directly. The Terran operator he spoke to did not seem to know what they were doing.]

Samples denatured in transit. Genetic strands, unreadable. Bacterial and fungal growth interesting, but not requested product.

Require replacement "beef" products.

the eleventh doctor ↝ doctor who ↝ ota!!

[mmiab]

[ just trying to get a refund for your dodgy can of beans? ssssssucks to be you today ]

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, hi, I've been looking on your website for your electronics return policy for over half an hour, and I can't find it. Can you please clarify how long I have to return a TV I purchased under warranty?

ryan newman | wilfred

[sugarpills]

[ christ. ]

Thor | Marvel Cinematic Universe

[asgardian_prince]

[Thor has been banished to Midgard and is now working in Walmart. Enjoy]

[notasoldier]

[Tony narrowly misses the doors as he enters the black hole that is Walmart. He is fairly certain he's taken a wrong turn somewhere.

He might be thinking about his life choices. Or he might be drunk.]

You. Where am I?

Korra || Legend of Korra

[polar]

[(Anonymous)]

The turtleduck soup I bought from this store had shell in it!

Asami Sato | The Legend of Korra

[chittybang]

Chipp Zanuff | Guilty Gear

[trafficked]

Metacrisis Doctor/Theta Sigma | Doctor Who

[(Anonymous)]

[Cue one bored Metacrisis disassembling one phone while talking on the other. Nothing like making a Superphone in customer service. No one is going to mind getting service calls from Centaru Four, right? Right!]

Of course! You tell this Clint person that the Peterson arrows our sports department sells are the best there is. Well, I don't know why he lost to someone named Robin. Uh-huh. Oh. Maybe he's a bad shot then. Sir, that sort of language isn't-

[Thta sighs as thy hang up, moving onto his next call. This was fun!]

(Could have sworn I was logged in)

[notthedoctor]

James Potter | Harry Potter

[staggeringego]

[ He barely knows how a phone works. ]

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, the DVD I bought last week is defective, but the Wal-Mart I bought it from won't take it back. If I bring it to your location, can I get a refund?

Abathur | Starcraft 2: Heart of the Swarm

[broodofone]

[Walmart's hiring policy is apparently highly equal-opportunity.]

[His head is at his designated post, but the tail end of his body terminates somewhere in the men's underwear section.]

(a wild OC has appeared!)

[everydayimswoopin]

[Ring ring ring. Ring ring ring.

The voice on the other end is human, or at least humanoid. Youngish, female, and with a funny accent.]

Customer service?

beavis | beavis & butt-head

[bunghole]

[Beavis snickers as he picks up the headset and puts it on.]

This rules!

[t_forthemonarch]

[Well, stranger with a headset who presumably works here, prepare to face the wrath of THE MONARCH.]

Great! I finally get to talk to a human after twenty minutes of infuriating synthesized smooth jazz.
You people would do well to pay closer attention to your customer support lines!

Draco Malfoy | Harry Potter

[draconifors]

[(Anonymous)]

Hello? Is this Customer Service?

Carter Blake | Heavy Rain

[callthecops]

[goddamn economy.]

CAN'T BE TAMED

[foolishwren]

<sub>[There is no legitimate reason for a high-schooler to own three lighters.]

[Which is of course why Heather has four stashed in her pockets.]

[They're not even the first lighters she's stolen. She has like seven at home.]

[It's not that she's really doing anything productive with them, they're just stashed in a drawer somewhere. It's just about getting away with it.]

[Of course, as much as she's perfected the casual I'm-just-browsing saunter, the fact that she's a teenage punk who keeps making her way back to the same aisle might tip someone off that she's up to something.]</sub>

kido tsubomi | kagerou project

[obscuress]

[ why ]

[duplicitoussight]

[RING RING RING!! Who's this mysterious caller? Certainly not the guy loitering about in one of the aisles near customer service.]

Conner Kent | DC Comics | ota

[tactilekonesis]

Ushiromiya Maria | Umineko no naku koro ni

[ex_jawbone809]

I'm sorry...

[trashcompacting]

These cleats your store shipped to me are the wrong size. Now because of your damn error and the fact that those other pieces of trash were busy I've had to come all the way here myself. [ Obviously his teammates should be available at all hours to run his errands. ]

Well?