Buy, buy, sell!

[groupon]

SELL ME YOUR CHARACTER

The Question: Why should anyone want to date/ship with/be in a relationship/fall in love with yours?
The Challenge: Answer that question under the character limit for a Dreamwidth comment subject header.

✱ Comment with your character. In the body of the comment, feel free to either link a picture of your character or leave it blank.
✱ THE CATCH IS THIS! Don't put the usual mumbo jumbo in the subject. Instead, sell us on your character by summing them up in an appealing (or funny, or dumb) way! IE, Bruce Wayne could be "rich Daddy with a love for costumes." Paul Atreides or Luke Skywalker could be "cute space messiah." YOU GET THE PICTURE.
✱ Everyone, including your character, can see the tagline.
✱ Any takers?

Comments

Big dominant energy who will never wear socks in his sandals.

[legislatory]

[ visual reference. ]

[desertpowered]

…do people wear socks in sandals?

Inquiring minds wish to know.

Talented and handsome genius with a fondness for death traps

[ainissesthai]

[Must enjoy riddles.]

[gravity_grrl]

Riddles huhn? Urmmm okay, here's one: what's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead woodchucks?

The shiniest man you have ever seen is here to be swooned over.

[acharmingsmile]

[He's absolutely blinding and WILL wink at you!]

Space messiah. Small but lethal. Good with animals (and knives).

[desertpowered]

Keeps you safe from demons, arrives to everything early, and makes pasta from scratch.

[fumitory]

( BOGO offer available: comes with +1 weird angelic entity. )

Cosmic warrior poet, enjoys philosophy, combat and baked goods.

[yourfavorite]

[time_warp_again]

Baked goods, you say? [Okay the cosmic warrior and philosophy intrigued him too.]

Chronically sleepy high school athlete with famous friends and overabundance of chill

[kunimeh]

((also comes in college student flavour))

Fed with heart of gold, bleeding edge tech, severe drug problem, and baggage to spare

[arihab]

((you'll never be the biggest fuckup in the room again with him around!))

Has a vast library, a good sense of humour, and is eager to learn all about you. :)

[dearjonah]

[ He's one year away from abandoning one of his ~associates in the Lonely. Run while you still can. ]

no self-preservation here this man has 9 lives

[lonedanger]

Damn, a whole library?

[ And one that hasn't been set on fire multiple times after undergoing nuclear fallout. What a novel concept. ]

Petty, broke nerd w/ no fashion sense, but extremely loyal. Will step in the way of danger for you.

[pettymuch]

( Also a virgin at 22. )

Very tall sad ginger elf.

[holdshisown]

Doctor with his own mansion in New York City. Great fashion sense.

[time_warp_again]

Oh come on.

[Did America do this? It's either her or Wong and Stephen is betting money on both of them ganging up on him]

[dawn_is_breaking]

You know...my mother always wanted me to date a doctor....

Space sorceress with a short fuse; loves swordplay, flying, and cloaks.

[umbraeternam]

[time_warp_again]

Cloaks, you say? [Never mind his scarf fluttering in annoyance because clearly it's the best where cloaks are concerned.]

future creator god. current small gay disaster.

[wordiness]

.. Neither of these things are selling points.

[ikols]

I would call you travel-sized.

Cocky. Asshole. Marine.

[baddestbadass]

Visuals

Sweet, adorable witch with a sad backstory, heart of gold, and magic powers that can crush your mind

[lethechained]

[ But won't* due to the aforementioned heart of gold.

DISCLAIMER: The heart in question might not actually exist in the metaphysical sense. ]

you probably shouldn't actually

[evenindeath]

 

[lethechained]

[ Listen... she's not here out of any personal interest or anything, but she does have the sign next to his and just. Is definitely giving him some vaguely concerned side-eye.

Are. You doing okay there, buddy? ]

ridiculously rich, daughter of a mobster, archaeologist, ballet dancer with awesome hair

[nominimercy]

......... (He will do the cooking.)

[gribbley]

[hamburgler]

[ Cooking? Food? Maya is down. ]

You're my new best friend!

broke murder dad will be there through thick and thin but will never declare romantic intentions.

[baring]

Professor. Field archeologist. Charming adventurer. Possessed by an extra-dimensional witch.

[exhumings]

[ Saddled with unspeakable evil powers. In desperate, incomprehensible need of an exorcism. ]

Hello, I'm The Doctor. Fancy an adventure? Oh, and he's - brilliant.

[borntolove]

Entirely platonic, will always make you smile, and great with kids! (as long as the lights are on)

[nychthemeron]

[Makes for a great security feature at night.]

[filiam]

...but...

[ C'mon, she's gotta ask. ]

...what if the lights go off?

Millennial web novelist reincarnated into a pathetic excuse for a cultivator

[pornforpay]

Witch who can kill and revive you over and over again, never be bored again!

[dorato]

[ Optional: includes killing your family over and over again as well and turning it all into a messed up board game. ]