bakerstreet | the jail cell meme

[So you ever like, use your x-ray vision to check out a super hot chick on the street, find out she's got no bones, realise she's a supervillain, follow her into a bar, get a boner, have a bar fight started on you, immediately end said bar fight, but then get framed for some bozo's murder (which isn't really so much a emotional conundrum as it is a financial and legal conundrum) and then use the element of surprise at the total willingness to abandon said false evidence to immediately run away as fast as your little hitman legs can take you before the supervillain can get to slapping you around with her stupendously strong jelly hands? And give as good as you got, sure, but then end up jumping into Gotham River just to make a clean getaway from the crazy lady and get fished out by harbor patrol and recognized with your nine billion other freakin' warrants?]

[Yeah, Tommy really hates his life sometimes. Sometimes he really wonders what his life would be like if he just stuck to Pat's plan of going to college and selling weed to rich kids.]

[So he's sopping wet in a holding cell, miserable, de-trenchcoated and de-shaded, and those asshole cops freaked out and made a huge deal about his gross lookin' eyes and now he feels self-conscious too. What a day. Right now though, he's just lounging in the corner trying to get comfortable while he waits for Nat to spring him. He hears the door at the end screech open, and he jumps to his feet without looking.]

Hey! [Tommy lets out an ear-piercing whistle and snaps his fingers as obnoxiously as possible as footsteps march in.] You boys in blue come back with my cigs yet? How 'bout that donut too? I'm friggin' dyin' here, an'..... Oh. Oh hell no.

[This day has not gone down the way Gemini expected. Pose as a glamorous model, entice some old rich guy and murder him for his money, that was her idea of an entertaining, productive day. Instead she'd gotten some raggedy-ass guy determined to flirt with her and who worse could somehow see through her disguise. At first she'd mistaken him an amateur, but after he'd shrugged off her attempted entrapment and then had survived several further attempts to kill him. That had made Gemini realise that she was dealing with a pro and that (reluctantly) sparked her interest enough to make some enquiries.]

Oh hell yes.

[Gemini's voice has a satisfied purr to it as she steps into the cell, wearing a police officer's uniform but otherwise very much herself and unlike Tommy entirely dry. The door slides shut behind her with a click and she folds her arms, cocking her head as she looks the assassin up and down with a smile that's more than a little evil.]

Tommy Monaghan. I'll admit my first thought was just to find and kill you, but you put up a good fight, in fact I was actually impressed. [Her fingers elongate into foot-long blades and she clicks them together almost casually, looking faux thoughtfully at him.] What am I to do with you?

[Well - that ain't great. Tommy scrambles back as she enters the cell. Not the most macho thing to do, but he might've dropped his dignity off on the Gotham seabed, along with his left boot and half his lung. His already-terrible day is just getting worse by the minute. Can't the universe cut a poor guy a friggin' break for once?]

Wow, you really can't get enough a' me, huh?

[Now Tommy likes a lady in uniform, but not that lady and not that uniform. His gaze darts from her hands to the cell, tossing up whether it'd be worth the migraine to try to read her mind - if that would even work. At her thorough inspection, his face twitches when it reaches his jaw, like he's not sure if he wants to turn his face away or not. But there's even less to look at elsewhere - just a guy with pitch black eyes shivering in a clingy, see-through undershirt and one boot on. At least he's got pants. Cause if this is the day his luck runs out, they're not gonna find him with his bits out. He's shot enough people on the crapper that it's important.]

Well... if you’re really taking suggestions, how about you don’t chop me up like I live on Elm Street, an' just... get going? [He twirls a finger in the air hopefully.] Just a thought, sexy scissorhands. Since you asked my personal opinion an' all.

[She's got to admit, that attitude is growing on her, it takes balls to give her attitude after how much he's already annoyed her today. It's enough to make her laugh, her blue eyes not shying away from his pitch black orbs, she's seen worse, indeed she's been worse and they at least mark him out from the mundane norm.]

Well that's an idea. But you think you can handle a woman like me?

[She pushes off the door, swinging her hips seductively as she moves toward him, cop uniform melting into a slinky black and white bodysuit which reveals a lot of cleavage, even more when she bends forward, resting her hands on either side of his legs as she gives him a smouldering look.]

Is this what you want?

[She veritably purrs, leaning in slowly like she's going to kiss him, close enough for him to smell her expensive French perfume, only for her head to transmogrify into something utterly monstrous, massive jaws opening wider than his skull, razor sharp teeth as big as fingers hovering inches away from his face.]

How about a little kiss? [A deep utterly inhuman voice rumbles from that horrific maw.]

Edited 2021-09-21 10:56 (UTC)

YAAAAAH!

[Tommy’s a screamer. A high-pitched, terrified, really disgusted screamer. He’s also a wriggler and a kicker.]

[Jesus! At this point he’d give each cop in the precinct a grateful kiss square on the mouth if they came running in now. But those thoughts are secondary to how his eyes right now are locked onto those friggin’ steak knives inches from his face that somehow looks more terrifying attached to the rest of that perfect Barbie doll body. He’s seen real life, dripping, salivating T-Rex about to eat him up close, and somehow this is worse. Way worse. He flails his arms up and grabs hold of two traffic-cone fangs, and tries to push that thing away from him, however futile that may be.]

NOOO THANK YOU!! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!!

[No he doesn’t.]

[That scream is music to Gemini's ears and Tommy's struggles only deepen her enjoyment, his kicks only making her press the snout forward, mouth widening enough to swallow him whole should she wish. Worse should he try to let go of the teeth he'll find his hands are stuck to them like glue, sliding backward to draw him inexorably in...

Then just like that the grip on his hands vanishes, the monstrous maw is gone and it's just Gemini's almost inhumanly perfect features smirking at Tommy.]

Aww don't you like me?

[She pouts in pretend disappointment, although her eyes glint with amusement as she straightens, folding her arms and flicking away some imaginary dirt on her gloves.]

Finished thinking with your dick yet?

Hell no, I don't like you. [he breathes out, with extreme prejudice.]

[Tommy sits up once freed, more than a little embarrassed. There's no space to really scoot any further away from her, though. And not really much point. And now that the freakshow's over, he can come out with some words that aren't "yaaargh" or "get it the hell away from me".]

Get going, like - [He points an outraged finger at the cell door.] Get going! Gone! Shoo! C'mon, was that Sarlacc impression really necessary? You already got me dunked in the river once today, an' that thing's scientifically eighty percent piss.

Now that hurts my feelings! [She claps her hand over her heart, or where it should be, and completely ignoring his demand to leave she instead sits herself gracefully down right next to Tommy. Personal space? Apparently Gemini doesn't believe in that.]

If I remember correctly it was you who jumped in the river of your own accord to get away from me. How did that work out for you?

[While she could have jumped in after him, who wanted to go swimming in excrement?]

Sarlacc? Now that's an idea, I do a great Rancor too, wanna see? [Her shape doesn't actually change, but she taps her chin thoughtfully as if thinking about it.]

Oh yeah 'cause I just totally love spending my afternoons trying not to get my face pounded into the pavement, [Tommy mutters sarcastically, but also very quietly. He keeps a wary look as she rests next to him. Maybe it'd be best to cut to the chase. Not that he doesn't appreciate a good digression now and then, but seriously, he has a feeling that this isn't going to go anywhere good (AKA a scenario where Tommy is lounging on his couch safe with all of his bits intact, and stress-smoking his troubles away in two hours) if he just lets it. No tellin' how long it'll take for her to get bored.]

Umm..... Nah. Totallyfinethankyou. Here's an idea though - Why don't we just skip the next ten minutes of Tommy makin' a fool of himself and screamin' yadda yadda while you screw with him like a bulldog shakin' the hell outta a tiny baby kitten and get to what do you want from me?

[He might be sounding a little desperate at the end there. But hey, he's had a long day. Also she's really close to him right now and it's stressin' him out.]

Well if you insist. Am I making you uncomfortable?

[It's obvious she is and that she has absolutely no intention of doing anything to make him less so. In fact Gemini actually leans in closer, reaching for his forehead, gently caressing his cheek with cool leather clad fingers that had only a minute before been razor sharp blades.]/small>

I'm in need of a subcontractor, somebody to take those jobs that I don't have time for. I've pulled your record and I think you're just the man I need.

[Her smile could be described as enticing were it not for the coldness in her crystal blue eyes, a hint that this is not the kind of offer that can be refused.]

[Ah. Now they're gettin' down to the meat of it. His body trembles a little as she takes his face in her hands, but Tommy's own eyes turn a little colder, the set of his face turning just a little more serious as he drops some of the humor.]

If you really pulled my records, you should know that everyone's tried to headhunt me. I've turned down offers of "permanent employment" from the CIA to freakin' demons from hell with a capital H. Didn't turn out well for all of 'em.

[From that look in her eyes, he can tell this is "an offer you can't refuse" type of deal. And yet, Tommy finds perfectly well that he can. If she punches his ticket now... Well, he's come to terms with that a long time ago.]

What makes you think you'll be different, Gemini? I like bein' freelance. An' I like choosin' who I hit. Somethin' tells me that workin' under you - no matter how nice you might make it - won't give me that kinda choice.

Oh it's choice you want? Well here's one for you now; an excellent salary, assorted perks, protection from the cops, I'll even throw in a kiss from your favourite model or movie star.

[She smiles sweetly, then her fingers clamp tight on Tommy's head, his skull creaking under the pressure.]

Or you'll be locked up in solitary for several months, then spend the next year looking over your shoulder, wondering who or what in your life might be me, right up until the day I come for you. The the Brain will put a chip in your head which won't leave you with any choice whatsoever; you'll spend the rest of your working life doing exactly what I say until you grow too old to be of any use and I break every bone in your body, leaving you to eat through a straw for your 'golden' years.

[She let go of his head, and leans back slightly, regarding Tommy with a vicious smirk.]

How's that for a choice?

Edited 2021-10-16 13:13 (UTC)

the jail cell meme

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sorry for the delay!

no worries! I've had a bit of food poisoning, so haven't been on dw much

aw that must have sucked, hope you're feeling better!

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