bakerstreet | fortune cookie meme

"Do not upset the penguin today."

[ A part of her is conflicted and the other knows this is good advise, but all of her wants to punch a hole in a wall. ]

A little on the nose, but that's the first time I've seen one of these say something useful.

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"Your co-workers take pleasure in your great sense of creativity."

Not really accurate but I'm memorable at least.

"Tell them what you really think. Otherwise, nothing will change."

Hm. This feels a bit pointed.

Funny how that works, huh. Maybe there is merit to these fortune things after all.

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"Love is on the horizon. The stars predict he will be tall, dark, and a centaur."

Hmm... A centaur, it says...

You don't appear to be too concerned.

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"Remember this: duct tape can fix anything, so don't worry about messing things up."

... Seriously!?

All this time I was worried about Koujiro I should've been worried about duct tape instead. Clearly you've got some kind of love affair with them.

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"You can create your own stage. The audience is waiting."

I would've done so anyway, without this slip of paper telling me to. Furthermore, this can hardly be considered a "fortune."

"Jealousy is a useless emotion."

......

"You don't get harmony when everyone sings the same note."

... isn't that what harmony means, though...?

Yeah, that one's kinda confusing...

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"Don't worry, half the people you know are below average."

Only half?

Well, that’s a bit mean.

[…but Gin won’t deny it.]

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"Compassion will cure more then condemnation."

Far be it for me to condemn anyone.

[ What does he look like, a cop? ]

...Though some actions certainly warrant a sharp look.

[ A smile.

He takes a quiet sip of his tea. Agreeing with himself. ]

why hello >:3c

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so happy to see the medicine seller C:

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"You don't need the answers to all of life's questions. Just ask your father what to do."

Well, so much for the theory on fortunes having merit. My dad's already long dead, so this doesn't even make sense.

Perhaps a seance may be in order.

"If you want the rainbow, you have to tolerate the rain."

[ How original. ]

And what if it never stops raining?

Then you make do! Keeping down about it won't necessarily make the rain stop, will it? If you get a little creative, even a downpour can result in something good.

[ The silver-lining and all that. ]

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"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you."

[At least cookies love him still? Unless-]

Guess Rogers took a second job as fortune cookie lie writer.

They missed an opportunity to use "dessert" there.

“you are not a ghost”

[Gin, who is indeed a ghost, looks at his fortune.]

Really?

"You are admired for your adventurous ways."

If you count underage drinking, I suppose.

Didn't you break out of that crazy school of yours? That sounds like an adventure to me!

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"A lifetime of happiness is in store for you."

Well. It's a good one, buuuut--

[ Maybe it'll be better if this was for somebody else. ]

"If you love someone enough and they break your heart, you can't stop yourself from still loving them again even after all that pain."

...Fuck you, too, cookie.

That’s one helluva fortune! Hit a bit close to home?

tfw this was literally the first thing the page generated while I was already logged into this acct

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Fate!

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Meet your opponent halfway; you need the exercise.

"Listen here, you poor excuse for a dessert item---"

[ Fortune cookies are like daily affirmation cards, only with snacks! ]

Today you shed your last tear. Tomorrow fortune knocks at your door.

Why do I get the feeling that it won't be fortune knocking on my door?

Because of the line of work we’re in?

[ JJ offers a raised brow his direction, before swirling her chopsticks in the sweet and sour sauce at the bottom of her take out container. ]

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"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams."

Oh, and that is your fortune. I am not allowed to learn my own fortune this way. [She laughs while snatching up the pieces of, apparently, your broken cookie? She is quick to pop a few of the broken pieces in her mouth, crunching happily.] It's not bad advice at all, you know~

[ As a food thief in his own right, he certainly has no room to chastise her for cookie crimes. ]

All well and good, of course.

But there is a troubling issue...

How does one pursue dreams about riding a very large kitten through the forest?

Or

The one in which there is a shining green waterfall one is standing sideways in the midst of?

...Or...

...Especially...

Disembodied conjoined bottoms expelling commercial jingles?

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"Word to the wise: Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn..."

...why? What happened when they tried?

[This is Robyn's first ever fortune cookie and she already got a weird one...though she personally wouldn't mind meeting a unicorn.]

[His brow is deeply furrowed as he holds the small paper in his hands.]

Tell them what you really think. Otherwise, nothing will change.

[Surely this advice isn't meant for him?]

Oh dear...

Oh. That's so romantic.

[Unless it's about someone messing something up. Then it would still be true, but less romantic.]

You should do that.

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"One always regrets what could have done. Remember for next time."

( Truly cookie, how uninspiring. )

I don't think anyone needs a cookie to know this.

"Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change."

[There is the slightest tsk of annoyance for the dark onmyoji before he burns the paper to ash with ghostly fire between his long fingers.]

Glib fools. You think I have not tried with excess upon such a task?

Perhaps a more useful fortune would have been;

"Change comes within, not with a change in masters."

"I am a fortune. You just broke my little house. Where will i live now?"

O-oh my gosh!! I'm so sorry, please forgive me! Look, I can fix it! Let me just...

[She tries to push the cookie bits back together, and they only crack more. She pales, and opens her mouth in a silent scream.]

Ch'en | Arknights

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Jason Todd | DC Animated Movies

loki | 616 | ota

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riddle rosehearts | twst | ota

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reki kyan | sk8 the infinity | ota

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Shu Itsuki | Ensemble Stars

Shuu Fujiwara | Tsurune

Maina Ichii | Oshibudo

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Jiang Cheng | Mo Dao Zu Shi

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The Medicine Seller | Mononoke

hi ♥

james buchanan barnes | mcu

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Monika || Doki Doki Literature Club || OTA

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Tony Stark | Marvel

Re: Tony Stark | Marvel

Ichimaru Gin | Bleach | OTA

shion sonozaki | higurashi no naku koro ni

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Elaine Belloc | | Lucifer

Cherry Blossom (Sakurayashiki Kaoru) | SK∞

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Beetlejuice | Beetlejuice the Musical

Malcolm Bright | Prodigal Son

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