The Eulogy Meme

[never_francesca]

Dearly Beloved...



How Does it Work?

❧ You're dead! Well, everyone thinks you are, at any rate. What did you do this time? Or does the universe just have it in for you?

❧ In any event, post a blank top level for your character.

❧ Others will respond with a brief (or not) eulogy about your character. It will not be of the serious and tear-jerking variety.

❧ Your character may then respond to said eulogy.

❧ Tag around, have fun. Subvert tropes, rise to the heights of oratory - whatever you want!

❧ Try not to actually die by starting a fracas with the eulogist. But if you do, we've got a convenient casket ready.

Comments

Korra | The Legend of Korra | OTA

[avatar_state]

Doctor Drakken | Kim Possible

[complains_about_lemons]

[Make it salty.]

Jason Todd | DC Animated Movies

[robintohood]

((Is it post-warehouse explosion? Did he get himself a second death? Go nuts with this))

Oh I think I know what to do here. :P Hi, you may remember me from Batgirl before. :P

[gothams_joker]

He strides up to the lectern, with a small tape player with speakers in hand. He puts that to the side, theatrically bending over to turn it on, and 70s-style somber organ music spills out. He holds up a closed hand to his mouth, coughing to clear his throat. A pile of note cards are pulled from a jacket pocket.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...whoops, heh heh, that's for another day." The cards are then tossed behind him with a flourish.

"Folks, we are gathered here today to mourn a bird-boy. He was foolish for his age, an age wherein you can determine the IQ by dividing the years by the number of hormones and arrive at a tally."

"You know, though? The part I remember the most are the quirks. Like his willingness to rush in like a putz. Or his allergy to iron." He holds up his hand to the side of his mouth in an aside. "In bar form, specifically, hah!"

He straightened his tie.

"But I digress. I'd like to think of this more as a celebration of life. Specifically, mine! So we've got one bird in the box, and it's time to round up the best in Gotham villainy to go add the bat in the belfry to the collection. Who's with me? Or at the very least who's for Chinese? I'm starved!"

Jean Grey | Earth-616| X-Men

[heartofthedream]

[the_goblyn_queen]

Well what's to be said that hasn't already been said? I mean, except that "She's alive!"

Don't worry I'm sure that will happen soon enough, pretty sure she's part cockroach.

Jean was a special sort of woman, the sort you just can't seem to get rid of no matter how hard you try.

But I suppose that gave me something to always keep striving for, well that and a husband.

So here's to you Jean, may you rest in ... something.

Kristin Ortega | Altered Carbon

[kristinortega]

Allison Hargreeves ☂ The Umbrella Academy

[numberthree]

s1-ish, Mom didn't Fix It™

[bestfuneralever]

Klaus sits at the crude grave that holds his sister's body. They all sort of knew how it would go for them one day or another: Fast, hard, and bloody. None of them could have ever pictured their mousy baby sister being the reason for it. The scenes flash through his mind–

Allison on the ground in the cabin and, fuck there's so much blood–

Luther clutching her too small, too still body in the car, like he was her only life line–

Everyone crowded in the clinic, all of them clamoring to offer to help–

Mom shooing them them all out so she could work; they all waited in their own ways:

Pacing, sitting in a heap, chewing fingernails, trying not to sob, it varied as much as the siblings themselves–

The look on Grace's face when she walked out. So calm. So serene. So...plastic. And her words even sounded scripted. "She didn't make it. I tried everything I could."

"I love you, you know? I know... we never talked really, after we left the Academy... I should have called. I should've done a lot of things, I guess," he laughs softly, but it's bitter and self-deprecating and humorless. "Maybe we all should have. You weren't s'posed to die before me, you know. I mean– what the fuck, Universe? How's that make sense? That was a stupid decision on the Cosmos' part."

"But heyyy– you can see Ben now..." He scoffs softly and shakes his head, taking a long drag from his cigarette, folding his legs under him lotus-style. "Come on, Allie Cat... where are you?" He glances over his shoulder, and around him, waiting, waiting, waiting. She wouldn't just leave without... something, right?

Sara Lance | Arrow/Legends of Tomorrow

[strongerthanyouknow]

Octavia Blake ↠ The 100

[thegirlunderthefloor]

post-finale methinks...

[epitaphs]

[ Clarke takes a deep breath and stands, looking around at the grimly gathered faces. They're all waiting on her. All, as though their tiny number didn't mean her loss had decimated them. They all knew Octavia well enough by now for any one of them to have spoken on her behalf. They'd grown into a real family at last, little by little over the past year on an empty Earth, but habit meant that Clarke still fell into the role of leader as easily as breathing. ]

What do I even say? You all knew her. Some of you saw her at her worst; we all had the privilege to finally know her at her best. Kinda want to yell we're back, bitches for her one last time and call it a day, you know?

[ She's trying for humor; Octavia wouldn't have let them wallow. A few small smiles show it's working at least a little. ]

I guess we could all fight to the death in her honor if anyone's up for it. Symbolically only; if anyone else dies on my watch I'm dragging you back from oblivion with my bare hands.

Jo Harvelle | Supernatural (Canon or CRAU)

[tobeclosetohim]

Padmé Amidala | Star Wars

[resoluteandunyielding]

Forgive me for taking it seriously for a moment.

[apathy_is_death]

The figure speaking seems not fully there, not truly. But echoes can speak to echoes, across time and space; such is the power of the Force, one of the few ways that even the speaker considers it good.

"Those who wield the Force," she begins, hood fallen over sightless eyes, "neglect all too often to realize how limited, and fragile they can be. Power, even the greatest power, can be severed in an instant; and it can be a lonely, solitary thing. They think, too readily, that those not 'gifted' by the Force are lesser - this is the thinking of fools."

Her sole remaining hand extends, in a gesture.

"The soul here, before you, was never gifted with power. She never sought it, never wished it; she lived her life as far apart from it as she could. And yet, she changed the universe more than anyone could possibly have fathomed - her life, the love she brought forth, echoes through time; a whisper that splits through universes and timelines - the power of water upon stone."

"This," she continued, "is the power of principle. Light or dark, Sith or Jedi, none can understand that power without living it. And she did, even unto her own end. The flame of her belief, that pure heart - nothing, not even time or death or darkness, can obscure that. And thus, entire galaxies turned."

She seemed to fold back in on herself.

"Let it be a lesson to you all."

Lady Marian || BBC Robin Hood

[queenofmay]

Rachel Berenson || Animorphs

[rachelberenson]

there is no way this one wouldn't be serious, ok.

[notprincejake]

Jake has been working and reworking his speech all week. He's not ready. He will never be ready.

He doesn't even own a suit. They managed to narrowly-avert the disaster of him having to wear one of Tom's; instead, his dad had gone out and bought him a new one for the funeral. But it means it's stiff in all its creases and sits uncomfortable on his body, with what feels like a tell-tale rustling whenever he moves. Then again, this would never be comfortable. There's a speech folded on a piece of paper, tucked into his coat pocket. He'd been on the verge of bailing on this ceremony so many times. How can he attend? How can he look his own parents and Rachel's parents and her little sisters in the eye, knowing what he's done? He'd tried so many times to try to tell his parents about it, but he can't explain it to them, either. Not with Tom's bedroom sitting empty. Not with his dad on the phone to his own grieving brother, Rachel's father.

I can't be there, he'd finally cracked and told Marco, and so it had been his best friend who practically dragged him out of bed. Pulled the brand-new suit down from the closet. Forced him to start working on the speech. Told him he'd have to be here, or Marco would carry him here in gorilla morph, slung over a shoulder like Tarzan and Jane.

I can't do it.

You have to do it, man. You were our leader. Her cousin. You can talk about her. People are gonna want to hear.

So. This fucking speech. One last awful task as their leader, and then he's done with it forever. All of it.

Jake's going on after the president, and how in the world is he supposed to follow that act?

When Jake walks up to that podium, and looks out across the array of people attending — humans, Hork-Bajir, even some Andalites who didn't even know Rachel — he feels like he's drowning. Clears his throat, which feels like he's swallowed shards of glass. It's hard to speak through that tangled knot. His knuckles go white around the edge of the podium. In the end, Jake's voice, when it comes, is cracked and rough:

"Rachel was my cousin. We were friendly, but we weren't really friends until the war." Were they even friends during? It had grown so hard to tell towards the end.

"Which might sound horrible, but at least that's one good thing that came out of it. It got me closer to her. We got to see sides of her that none of us would've guessed beforehand. People in her class would've told you that she loved shopping, fashion, teen magazines, TV. None of them knew her brave heart like we did. She was the most courageous and the most fierce out of all of us. A born warrior. If there was one person I could always, always trust to have my back, it was her. I can't—" He falters now. "I can't even tell you how many times she saved my life, everyone else's lives. We always joked that, whenever we were facing down some insane mission, Rachel was always the first one to say Let's do it. She didn't hesitate. She'd be the first one into the fight, no matter the cost. She wanted to save people and cared so, so much. And—"

And at the end, she was a loyal soldier. An obedient blade. When he told her to go into that last suicidal mission, she had done so unflinchingly. She'd known what would happen and hadn't hated him for it, and for that, Jake hated himself.

His pause goes on a little too long, and he imagines he can hear people fidgeting, restless. In the end, all he can manage is:

"We all loved her. The world is a worse place without her."

There's so much he can't touch on, the starker reality of Rachel— the bloodlust. Her dark heart. Their worries for her sanity, particularly towards the end. David. The living hell they all went through together. Her death. Her death. Her blood on his hands.

This is the sanitised version. It'll have to do.

Jake walks away from the podium, his shoulders hunched and his gaze riveted to the trampled grass underfoot, as if he's afraid to look up into the sky. When he sees the shadow of a redtailed hawk pass over the ground in front of him, though, he knows Tobias is up there, and that he heard everything.

Jake keeps walking.

Steve McGarrett || Hawaii Five-0

[thebesteverseen]

Yuri Katsuki || Yuri!!! On Ice

[theglassheart]

Yalena "Dutch/Yala" Yardeen | Killjoys

[dutchyardeen]

Elvira Mistress of the Dark

[mistress_of_the_dark]

[ You know what to do. ]

[ridesapalebinky]

He is pushed, bodily - though that isn't precisely the right word - onto the stage, by a smaller woman dressed all in black with white hair in a tight bun, from which, nevertheless, some hairs have managed to escape. Insofar as a skeletal face can convey any expression, this one looks puzzled.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY IT SHOULD BE ME DOING THIS, Death said, looking at this granddaughter, who muttered something about universal coincidence, earned rewards, and finishing on a 'you're here, you might as well do it.'

Death straightened up at the lectern, bony fingers drumming for a moment.

I GENERALLY DO NOT STAY FOR THIS PART. IT IS GENERALLY CONSIDERED GAUCHE. THE LAST TIME WAS BECAUSE A RELATIVE CHOKED ON SOME OF THE FOOD AT THE WAKE. I BELIEVE IT WAS A CATFISH BONE.

THOUGH WHY ANYBODY WOULD WANT TO CROSS A CAT WITH A FISH IS BEYOND ME.

He seems to be waiting for a laugh line that isn't coming. There is a deep sigh, like the cracking of mountains, and he tears up a few notecards.

VERY WELL. WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT ELVIRA? OF ALL THE HUMAN SOULS, HERS WAS CERTAINLY...VERY HUMAN. THE MISTRESS OF THE DARK, SHE WAS KNOWN FOR...

Another card is fished out. Death peers at it, looking over at Susan.

WELL THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT. I CAN'T SAY THAT AT A FUNERAL, CAN I? WHAT IS THAT LOOK, IS...OH, VERY WELL. SHE WAS KNOWN FOR HER STELLAR...FILMS AND PRODIGIOUS...COMMENTARY ON MOVIES OF A HORRIFIC NATURE. LET'S SEE HERE...HMM...

OVER A LONG CAREER, NOT NEARLY ENOUGH OF IT SPENT ON HER BACK - POOR THING MUST NOT HAVE GOTTEN ENOUGH SLEEP - PARTS OF HER WILL SURELY REMAIN WITH US FOREVER.

J'onn J'onzz 👽 DC

[yourfavorite]

[ Did you mean: Final Crisis: Requiem? ]

Clarke Griffin | The 100

[epitaphs]

Madelyne Pryor | Marvel 616

[odynia]

(( Her tombstone is just this. ))

Kylo Ren/Brianna Solo • r63!Star Wars • ota

[umbraeternam]

Aeryn Sun | Farscape

[do_your_duty]

Nikola Tesla | Sanctuary

[vampiris_tesla]

I wonder how cathartic this would be after having to deal with some of his moods :P

[codenametesla]

"And here we have this alcoholic asshole, the petulant pomp, the sulky shit who may never get into our hair again. Let us drink beer in his honor and let loose a flock of pigeons as he would have wanted."

[It was clear she was nervous as hell being so mean in general, let alone to Nikola, but if there was one thing she did, it was follow directions.

And okay, she was pretty amused by it.

Leonard Church (Alpha) | Red vs. Blue

[originalcopy]

[Here we go again. Again.]

welp this veered into Actual Feelings because she does what she wants

[gobooyourself]

"Here lies a fucking idiot."

That's it, the end, goodbye, oh look she's still here.

"He's not resting in peace because he has no idea how to do it. If I was going to be fair, I'd admit that neither do I, but who's going to call me on it? Not him."

Now she's done. Stretching her arms, turning to leave, that one last lingering glance that's kind of obligatory -

"Shadows. Fragments. Echoes. It's all true, and it's all bullshit. For a while, we were just us, and it fucking mattered. So this isn't just one hand talking about the left, and it isn't Allison talking about Leonard."

Fine. Fine, she's just going to sit down on the grass and lean against the grave that isn't actually covering a damn thing, she's almost certain. Shit's weird, okay?

"Tex and Church. We were a disaster, and it was the most fun I've ever had. I think you might have been my best friend, which is probably pathetic. I'd give anything to punch you in the face right now."

Is her voice a bit rough? Well, that probably depends on if she can actually cry or not. Guess who's not telling.

"You were a stubborn, impulsive, whiny pain in my ass who couldn't shoot the broad side of a barn. Somehow you stumbled into being a half-decent leader, especially compared to some people I'm not talking about. I'm sure our morons will make it, though, they're scrappy."

Granted, she could have also said that about - anyway.

"We both died for something. That matters, too."

Ghost | Marvel 616 (Thunderbolts)

[hacktivist]

[prefertothink]

[Eddie is amused but effusive, just straight-up going for it.]

Here floats Ghost, name and nature. A wraith, reinvented to find and expose truth, refusing to be nailed down by any possible binary systems -- two motives that I personally find laudable.

I would say they will be missed, but as most of us have made their acquaintance after their death, it seems more accurate to predict that we will continue to enjoy their company for some time yet.

Shall I go on, my phantasmal friend?

Daniel Jackson | Stargate SG-1

[sg1_daniel]