bakerstreet | ( let it snow )

Entry tags:

( let it snow )

❄ it's quiet
and the snow's beautiful tonight → a winter open meme

‧ post with whatever character you want
‧ responders roll for weather + scenario and get to threading
‧ ???
‧ profit

snowfall;

stage i; none, streets are already blanketed in white.
stage ii; very light and intermittent.
stage iii; light - moderate. lasts longer periods.
stage iv; continuous, heavy snowfall.
stage v; the hardest of cores - blizzards, snowstorms, you name it.

scenarios;

① fuck the police, this is the best time for a walk. hope you've got a nice thick coat on.

② stranded in the buttcrack of nowheresville? weren't you watching the time? now you've gone and missed that last bus out of there. or maybe you're lost, somehow. what do?

③ literally chilling, in this weather, is quite easy to do. sitting around relaxing in it is a wee more difficult, but sometimes much more enjoyable, especially if shelter can be found. the snow is beautiful to watch, after all.

④ the weather's not going to stop you. your snow fort's packed full of ammo and ready to go. those aren't snow angels over there; they mark where the poor souls you've downed have fallen. be careful with that snowman's head!!

⑤ you're about fifty miles from civilization but there's a roof over your head, so never mind the chilly draught, right? right. you mightn't be the only one lucky enough to stumble upon this little shelter, though. remember to share the blanket.

⑥ everyone stuck outside should be jelly. you've got a fireplace and hot cocoa and damn if it isn't awesome. a heater's not quite so romantic, but it'd do. there'd better be a backup generator in case the power trips.

⑦ mix and match, or make up your own ‧:❉:‧

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Ruca smiles sheepishly.

"Ah... well... Mother was worried when she saw I was gone, but I got home right after she noticed, so at least she didn't worry for too long." he looks away. "Father was a little angry at me though..."

Well, he couldn't blame them. He should had told them he was going out, but... it was so late. He didn't want to wake them up.

"But it was all my fault so..."

It's always his fault. He just wishes he wouldn't be such a burden to other people.

A smile is still on his face but now it looks more forced than anything else.

"I'm sorry, I may have kept you too long."

Subaru hadn't wanted to get him in trouble, after all. But Ruca had needed and accepted his help, and he hadn't been about to leave him if he didn't have to. In the end, he's not sorry that he did help him.

Sakuya, as if sensing Ruca's unhappiness, climbs up on his lap with a soft mew, and rubs her head against him, purring.

Ruca shakes his head.

"N-no! It's all my fault..."

He looks down at Sakuya and smiles at her a little thankful for her attempt at comforting him. Still it's a bit of a sad smile.

"...I just wish I wouldn't be such a burden to other people..."

"Is that what they say?"

Assuming that Ruca is with most other people as he is now, Subaru can't imagine that anyone would truly call him a burden. Of course, he doesn't know much of anything about Ruca, really, but if the healing of the wound is anything to indicate, there's more to him than meets the eye.

Ruca blinks, looks at Subaru and shakes his head again after a moment.

"...No, b-but..." he frowns slightly. "... I'm only making everyone worry..."

He doesn't really know how to explain, but this is how he feels. He isn't reliable or helpful and he doesn't have much confidence either... there is no way someone like him could not be a burden to others.

"They care about you. If they didn't, they wouldn't worry."

He crosses to Ruca, sitting next to him and gently reaching out to pet Sakuya where she is. She stretches a bit, but stays curled up in Ruca's lap, purring away.

"I don't think someone who cares about you would call you a burden."

Ruca still doesn't seem convinced. He watches as Subaru pets Sakuya.

"...I don't want them to worry." he pauses, then closes his eyes. "I want them to be happy."

He wants them to be happy and proud of him and he wants to be able to help them if they ever need it.

But he rarely knows how to do any of that.

"Happiness is rarely something we can control."

Worrying about making other people happy...he's spent much of his life to ease the pain and suffering of others, while his own eats away at him. If they're so determined, some people will stay unhappy forever. Despite the best efforts of those that love them, they'll never be happy.

"Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, some people will never be happy until they allow themselves happiness."

He looks at Subaru, thinking of his words. Then suddenly:

"Are... you happy, Subaru?"

He doesn't know why he's even asked that question. It wasn't anything he should ask about, but... ever since he met Subaru on that day he wondered about that. It always felt like... he was sad for some reason and Ruca, despite everything, wanted to know why.

He quickly waves his hand dismissively in the air.

"Ah, s-sorry! Y-you don't have to answer!"

He looks down, suddenly paying more attention to Sakuya now and patting her head.

"...I'm sorry."

It's an understandable curiosity, given the topic. Subaru doesn't mind, but part of him doesn't want to answer. There's nothing Ruca can do about him, but he knows that it'll only add to his desire to make people happy.

He shakes his head after a moment eyes cast downward.

"There's only one person now who could make me happy."

"Only... one?"

He glances at Subaru, but his gaze drops to Sakuya again.

"So... I can't do anything...?"

It's always like this. He always can't do anything to help... it feels almost frustrating to him.

It's the hypocritical part of him, so he doesn't like seeing Ruca sad because of him. Subaru reaches out, rests a hand against Ruca's shoulder and gives him a gentle squeeze.

"Only one person can grant my wish, can make me truly happy. But I'm glad you're here. I haven't had anyone to visit me in a long time."

At the touch Ruca looks at Subaru. He feels like the fact that he's here isn't enough, because he isn't doing anything, but then...

Subaru said he was glad that Ruca was here. Just those few words mean so much to the boy. It calms his worries that maybe he is just troubling Subaru, that maybe he shouldn't be here.

He doesn't even realize when he suddenly throws his arms around Subaru in a somewhat awkward hug.

Sakuya makes a noise mixed of surprise and annoyance when her warm napping spot moves suddenly and throws her out. She'll recover though, bounding up on the counter to watch them.

Subaru, for his part, is quite surprised, but only for a moment. He easily wraps his arms around Ruca, giving him a gentle squeeze.

There was a moment when he wanted to let go and apologize for is behavior, but when Subaru hugs him back that thought just vanishes suddenly and he closes his eyes, relaxing.

He'll apologize to Sakuya later.

"...Subaru... I can't do much, but... I can visit you again... and again..."

He just wishes Subaru wouldn't be sad or lonely. He knows how painful loneliness feels.

"Ruca...I'm used to being alone. You can come and visit me, but you don't have to worry."

Truthfully he wouldn't know what to do with a regular visitor. At least, not here. It might not even be safe for Ruca to be seen visiting him frequently. There's wards on the door, but spells will come back to him at some point or another, and if Ruca is there when that happens, it could be dangerous.

"B-but..."

He would still worry no matter what. That's just how he is. Especially when Subaru is giving him all the reasons to worry.

Saying that he's used to being alone doesn't help either. Ruca knows a few people who were used to being alone too and they were far from happy because of that.

The simple fact is that Subaru isn't happy, and hasn't been for a long time. His happiness can only be found, he's certain, in Seishirou carrying out what he'd meant to do so many years ago. Only in the pain of death by Seishirou's hand could he be truly happy.

"There's other people you should worry about before me."

The boy moves away from Subaru and frowns.

"I... don't have any reasons to worry about them." he thinks about his friends. "I know that they are doing their best... to make their own dreams come true."

Just like he is trying his best to become a doctor in the future.

He looks away.

"... I... know that because of who we are things might get complicated sometimes, but I'm not worried that much. I know they will be fine. Because they're not alone." he looks at Subaru. "...And you aren't alone either."

Not anymore.

It's hard to tell Ruca that he's one of those people who won't let himself be happy, and more than that it'd be unkind and unfair to tell him that he isn't able to lessen that. The momentary pleasures won't ease the long term pain, the scar carved deep on his heart.

So all he can do, now, is accept it.

"...thank you."

Ruca just shakes his head lightly.

"N-no... don't thank me."

To tell the truth he still feels like this just isn't enough.

"I... didn't do anything."

"You care. That's more anyone has done for me in a long time."

Though not without trying. Subaru has become especially good at deflecting people's best intentions to help look after him. But with Ruca it's a little more difficult, harder to simply brush him off gently. He doesn't want Ruca to worry because he's sure he has other people that he's close to and cares about more that could use his support, even if he knows they'll be fine.

"...Of course I care..." he mutters.

He doesn't seem to be convinced and wishes he could do more, but nothing comes to his mind.

He slowly reaches to touch Subaru's hand.

"...And that will never change."

Subaru doesn't want him to do more. If Ruca becomes part of his life, he'll only be sad when Subaru's true wish is realized. There's no way to tell him that he wishes to die, and that his death could come at any time. Sooner, hopefully, than later.

But he gives Ruca's hand a gentle squeeze, and just nods.

"Thank you."

There's nothing else to say.

Ruca remains silent, taking Subaru's hand in both his.

It feels like he really can't do anything... but then again: what did he expect? He knows nothing about Subaru, about what he's been through. He barely met him on that one night...

He frowns.

"...I... never told you what happened to me that night... about why was I wounded like that."

Subaru helped him so he deserved to know, but also... you can't expect someone to be honest with you, if you aren't honest with them, right?

( let it snow )

notifs where are you ;;

sob

;;

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