bakerstreet | ( let it snow )

Entry tags:

( let it snow )

❄ it's quiet
and the snow's beautiful tonight → a winter open meme

‧ post with whatever character you want
‧ responders roll for weather + scenario and get to threading
‧ ???
‧ profit

snowfall;

stage i; none, streets are already blanketed in white.
stage ii; very light and intermittent.
stage iii; light - moderate. lasts longer periods.
stage iv; continuous, heavy snowfall.
stage v; the hardest of cores - blizzards, snowstorms, you name it.

scenarios;

① fuck the police, this is the best time for a walk. hope you've got a nice thick coat on.

② stranded in the buttcrack of nowheresville? weren't you watching the time? now you've gone and missed that last bus out of there. or maybe you're lost, somehow. what do?

③ literally chilling, in this weather, is quite easy to do. sitting around relaxing in it is a wee more difficult, but sometimes much more enjoyable, especially if shelter can be found. the snow is beautiful to watch, after all.

④ the weather's not going to stop you. your snow fort's packed full of ammo and ready to go. those aren't snow angels over there; they mark where the poor souls you've downed have fallen. be careful with that snowman's head!!

⑤ you're about fifty miles from civilization but there's a roof over your head, so never mind the chilly draught, right? right. you mightn't be the only one lucky enough to stumble upon this little shelter, though. remember to share the blanket.

⑥ everyone stuck outside should be jelly. you've got a fireplace and hot cocoa and damn if it isn't awesome. a heater's not quite so romantic, but it'd do. there'd better be a backup generator in case the power trips.

⑦ mix and match, or make up your own ‧:❉:‧

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"Only... one?"

He glances at Subaru, but his gaze drops to Sakuya again.

"So... I can't do anything...?"

It's always like this. He always can't do anything to help... it feels almost frustrating to him.

It's the hypocritical part of him, so he doesn't like seeing Ruca sad because of him. Subaru reaches out, rests a hand against Ruca's shoulder and gives him a gentle squeeze.

"Only one person can grant my wish, can make me truly happy. But I'm glad you're here. I haven't had anyone to visit me in a long time."

At the touch Ruca looks at Subaru. He feels like the fact that he's here isn't enough, because he isn't doing anything, but then...

Subaru said he was glad that Ruca was here. Just those few words mean so much to the boy. It calms his worries that maybe he is just troubling Subaru, that maybe he shouldn't be here.

He doesn't even realize when he suddenly throws his arms around Subaru in a somewhat awkward hug.

Sakuya makes a noise mixed of surprise and annoyance when her warm napping spot moves suddenly and throws her out. She'll recover though, bounding up on the counter to watch them.

Subaru, for his part, is quite surprised, but only for a moment. He easily wraps his arms around Ruca, giving him a gentle squeeze.

There was a moment when he wanted to let go and apologize for is behavior, but when Subaru hugs him back that thought just vanishes suddenly and he closes his eyes, relaxing.

He'll apologize to Sakuya later.

"...Subaru... I can't do much, but... I can visit you again... and again..."

He just wishes Subaru wouldn't be sad or lonely. He knows how painful loneliness feels.

"Ruca...I'm used to being alone. You can come and visit me, but you don't have to worry."

Truthfully he wouldn't know what to do with a regular visitor. At least, not here. It might not even be safe for Ruca to be seen visiting him frequently. There's wards on the door, but spells will come back to him at some point or another, and if Ruca is there when that happens, it could be dangerous.

"B-but..."

He would still worry no matter what. That's just how he is. Especially when Subaru is giving him all the reasons to worry.

Saying that he's used to being alone doesn't help either. Ruca knows a few people who were used to being alone too and they were far from happy because of that.

The simple fact is that Subaru isn't happy, and hasn't been for a long time. His happiness can only be found, he's certain, in Seishirou carrying out what he'd meant to do so many years ago. Only in the pain of death by Seishirou's hand could he be truly happy.

"There's other people you should worry about before me."

The boy moves away from Subaru and frowns.

"I... don't have any reasons to worry about them." he thinks about his friends. "I know that they are doing their best... to make their own dreams come true."

Just like he is trying his best to become a doctor in the future.

He looks away.

"... I... know that because of who we are things might get complicated sometimes, but I'm not worried that much. I know they will be fine. Because they're not alone." he looks at Subaru. "...And you aren't alone either."

Not anymore.

It's hard to tell Ruca that he's one of those people who won't let himself be happy, and more than that it'd be unkind and unfair to tell him that he isn't able to lessen that. The momentary pleasures won't ease the long term pain, the scar carved deep on his heart.

So all he can do, now, is accept it.

"...thank you."

Ruca just shakes his head lightly.

"N-no... don't thank me."

To tell the truth he still feels like this just isn't enough.

"I... didn't do anything."

"You care. That's more anyone has done for me in a long time."

Though not without trying. Subaru has become especially good at deflecting people's best intentions to help look after him. But with Ruca it's a little more difficult, harder to simply brush him off gently. He doesn't want Ruca to worry because he's sure he has other people that he's close to and cares about more that could use his support, even if he knows they'll be fine.

"...Of course I care..." he mutters.

He doesn't seem to be convinced and wishes he could do more, but nothing comes to his mind.

He slowly reaches to touch Subaru's hand.

"...And that will never change."

Subaru doesn't want him to do more. If Ruca becomes part of his life, he'll only be sad when Subaru's true wish is realized. There's no way to tell him that he wishes to die, and that his death could come at any time. Sooner, hopefully, than later.

But he gives Ruca's hand a gentle squeeze, and just nods.

"Thank you."

There's nothing else to say.

Ruca remains silent, taking Subaru's hand in both his.

It feels like he really can't do anything... but then again: what did he expect? He knows nothing about Subaru, about what he's been through. He barely met him on that one night...

He frowns.

"...I... never told you what happened to me that night... about why was I wounded like that."

Subaru helped him so he deserved to know, but also... you can't expect someone to be honest with you, if you aren't honest with them, right?

"You don't have to tell me, Ruca. You don't owe me an explanation."

Subaru hadn't helped him because he wanted to know what was going on in his life. It'd been the right thing to do, the only thing to do, as far as he was concerned. But he also doesn't want Ruca to feel obligated to tell him because underneath it all, Subaru doesn't want Ruca to know about his own past.

"I was just glad I could help."

"B-but..."

He squeezes Subaru's hand lightly, feeling a little as if he just hit a wall that couldn't break no matter how much he tried.

He doesn't know what to do anymore.

He shakes his head eventually. Frowning and worrying won't help him now, right. He tries to smile, just a little, hoping that Subaru will smile too.

"...You probably wouldn't believe me even if I told you..."

Curls his hand with Ruca's gently, trying to be supportive but not outright encouraging. He doesn't quite smile, but rubs the pad of his thumb over Ruca's hand, gentle.

Truthfully, Subaru quietly doubts that anything Ruca could tell him would surprise him. Being an onmyouji, he's seen quite a few bizarre things in his life.

"Will it help you if you tell me?"

Ruca hesitates, looking at their hands. Subaru's touch is almost calming.

Almost.

"I..."

Will it help him if he tells Subaru what happened back then? Maybe not and maybe it will actually make things worse. Maybe he'll make Subaru worry instead or maybe... just maybe nothing at all will happen.

"...I don't know."

Subaru is quiet, patient. He can't make that decision for Ruca, if it's a good thing or not. A silence hangs between them, but then in the middle of it, a rather impatient meow.

Sakuya has trotted back over, and she's extending herself to reach up Ruca's leg, small claws curling into his clothing insistently. Enough talking, she's decided. This one owes her more attention for deposing her from her warm sleeping place.

"Oh!"

Hearing the meow, Ruca looks at Sakuya, at the same time letting go of Subaru's hand to pat the kitten in an apology.

"I'm so sorry Sakuya..." he says taking her into his hands again. "I didn't mean to..."

She purrs as he picks her up, claws kneading in and out of his clothing as she gets situated. Yes, much better.

Subaru watches them, quietly. He can't keep her, but she deserves a good home.

"You should take her, Ruca."

That causes Ruca to look at Subaru.

"...Me?" he asks clearly surprised. "B-but... what about you? Won't you feel... sad when I take her?"

Ruca looks worried, frowning softly, his gaze wondering from Subaru to Sakuya. He would love to take the kitten and take care of her even though he never had a pet. He does wonder if his parents would agree, but... that's not what he's worried about the most.

He doesn't want Subaru to stay all alone.

He shakes his head. "I'll be happy if you have her. I'll know she'll be with someone who will take good care of her."

"I..."

His gaze is fixed on Sakuya. What should he do?

"...I need to ask my parents first..."

That really isn't the problem here. He is worried. He doesn't want Subaru to stay all alone. He doesn't know why, but he has that odd feeling that if he takes Sakuya from here Subaru will disappear somewhere and they won't meet ever again.

He honestly doesn't know why it feels like that.

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( let it snow )

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