Swipe swipe, let’s match up

[hotlink]

the tinder meme Maybe you can't find a date. Maybe you don't want to find a date. Maybe this whole thing was set up by your well-meaning friends, or your prank-playing enemies, or your over-involved mother. Whatever the reason, you're on a swipe-based dating system. Call it tinder, cuddlr, e-harmony but for shallow assholes... you're on it. What's the worst that could happen?

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Comments

[omkara]

✕

What the hell are you doing on tinder???

[wearingguess]

Of course, I am looking for hookups!

[omkara]

Little demons shouldn't have access to Tinder.

[wearingguess]

Is that right? But I am unlikely to ever grow any bigger.

[omkara]

How does this help you find a partner?

[wearingguess]

Oh! Are you new to the app? It's quite clever. You simply swipe right on any profiles that intrigue you, and left on any that don't. Then the program matches you up with any mutually interested parties so you can get to know each other better and perhaps make plans to meet up!

[omkara]

That isn't what I meant!

How are you supposed to find a partner for yourself?

[wearingguess]

I don't understand what you are asking me...

[omkara]

Never mind, it...

Just don't be stupid.

[wearingguess]

My level of stupidity is something else I don't have much control over.
Are you worried about me, Yu Kanda?

[omkara]

Since when did you think it was okay to use my name?

[wearingguess]

I've been using it all along! You must have noticed by now! Is there something else you'd like to be called? "Sir" or "Mister," perhaps.

[omkara]

Kanda. JUST Kanda.

[wearingguess]

No interest in Mister Kanda at all... Duly noted.
But where is your profile, Kanda? I wish to swipe right on you!

[omkara]

I don't have one.

[wearingguess]

Alas!! Then I shall have to continue messaging you directly!

[omkara]

Why?

Find a profile of someone else.

[wearingguess]

Why do I have to stop talking to you just because I am browsing other profiles as well?

[omkara]

I don't know... I thought the point of this was to find someone to date?

Aren't you misplacing your energy on me?

[wearingguess]

Well, of course I would LIKE to date you, but I enjoy talking with you nonetheless. It is always time and energy well spent!

[omkara]

What?


You can't be serious. I'm undatable.

[wearingguess]

Challenge accepted! Where shall we go on our date?

[omkara]

How should I know?? I told you... I'm not the dating sort.

[wearingguess]

Well, just forget about what "sort" you are for now. Are you absolutely against the idea of going someplace fun together?