you're impure. you've done bad things, been a cruel person, or you've been terribly wrong, and you've seen what the world really is. maybe you're bad, or maybe your road to hell is paved with good intentions. whatever the case is, there's red in your ledger.
they're pure. almost innocent, even. they're kind and open and the very opposite of worldly. maybe they're not always good, no one is, but their heart is clean.
despite these differences, there's something between you. you shouldn't relate, you should be worlds away...
how to play
comment with your character. mention if they're more likely to be pure or impure.
reply to others.
use the rng to determine the direction of your thread or come up with your own direction.
prompts
light || the pure is affecting the impure in a positive way.
dark || the impure is affecting the pure in a negative way.
purposeful || you want to corrupt something so pure.
forgive || they know what you've done and they've forgiven you.
death || something comes up from the dark past and strikes out at the one loved the most. they know it would hurt you to see them in pain - or worse.
life || the smut option. will there be hesitance in "defiling" purity?
cheer || never again did you think that there would be simple joys. picnics, birthdays, gentle holding of hands.
confessions || you have to get them into your life; they're the only good thing you can see.
teach || one party is teaching the other about more worldly pursuits, may or may not be sexual. perhaps they feel guilty for this, perhaps they don't.
end || you can't do this to them anymore. they deserve so much better than you.
[It stings, being told that he disgusts Estinien, but what else did he expect? He’d gone against the man’s wishes and saved his life despite Estinien clearly wanting to die, and now he’s paying for it. He’s never really dealt with any humans who want to die before, and he simply can’t understand it. Demons will do anything they can to stay alive, so the concept of suicide is difficult for him to grasp…]
…just why do you want to die so badly?
[All he wants is to understand, but something tells him that he won’t be getting any answers out of the man now that he’s gone and infuriated him. The nurse provides Estinien water and checks his vitals, and Aymeric watches silently as the human blatantly ignores his question. He really has screwed up, hasn’t he? If only there were a quick way to fix things…
Eventually though, whenever Estinien passes out again, Aymeric will finally disappear from the hospital, figuring that his presence is only upsetting the human. He doesn’t really know where to even begin trying to fix things, but he figures waiting for Estinien in his room as a cat couldn’t hurt. He’d rather keep an eye on the human, just in case his wounds open up again, even if he’s likely the last person Estinien wants to see.
He also goes through the trouble of providing a few things he’d stolen from the local pharmacy, including some over the counter pain meds, some antibiotic cream, and some bandaging supplies, all laid out on Estinien’s nightstand for him to use. Whether he will or not remains to be seen, however.]
[Estinien hopes if he stings enough, if he hurts enough, maybe Aymeric will take the hint and go. That he'll leave him alone and stop this strange crusade to save him. No one's been interested in him like this before and it's maddening. A demon shouldn't be trying to make him live, it shouldn't even care what he does with his miserable damn life.
When he asks that though Estinien just lets out a deep sigh, going silent. He gets the feeling he won't be able to explain in a way that satisfies the incubus, and he just doesn't care to. The nurse checks him over, lets him know he's improving, and then leaves them to their silence again. Estinien won't be entertaining any more conversation with Aymeric, at least not now.
Once he passes out though, he's mildly surprised to find Aymeric gone when he awakens again. The silent, empty room is a relief, honestly, compared to the way he's felt on edge lately around the demon.
Eventually they discharge him, with a mountain of pills and other things, and Estinien heads back to his room at the monastary. He reports in to the head of the order who tells him he won't be on jobs for a while, making him grit his teeth but concede. He walks back to his room with nothing on his mind but static, lost in a sea of fog.
But there's a cat in his room. Along with a mess of supplies on the table. Estinien looks at them all with dead, empty eyes, unsure what to make of the gesture. He drops his own bag on there with the prescription medications and abruptly turns from it, going to strip down into his pajamas, and crawling into bed without a word.
He lays there, unable to think of anything worth saying to the demon in his room. He feels empty, hollow, unable to escape from the misery that is his own life, and now he's somehow acquired a well-meaning jailer along the way. Why? What had he done, to deserve this? He tries his best, to follow Halone's will, to see things done in her name, and yet...
And yet...
If there are tears running down from his eyes, well, he doesn't acknowledge them. But with how hopeless he feels, it's maybe little surprise he is.]
[He knows that as a demon he shouldn’t care about the fate of some human he barely knows, and yet he does, for better or worse. He’s spent so much time around humans that he’s become soft, it seems, and that softness has led him here, to Estinien’s side. No doubt Estinien hates him for it and probably will for the rest of his life, and yet Aymeric simply can’t bring himself to regret saving him, no matter the consequences.
It doesn’t surprise him that he doesn’t get an answer out of Estinien, because why would he? The man has made it painfully obvious that he doesn’t want to talk anymore, and so Aymeric leaves it at that, letting the nurse go about checking Estinien’s vitals and such. Once the man passes out again it’s time to take his leave, though not forever, unfortunately for Estinien. He returns to the monastery after stealing some supplies from the local pharmacy, and once it’s all laid out he turns back into a cat and awaits the human’s return.
But when Estinien finally does return he looks more dull and lifeless than ever, and Aymeric isn’t sure what he should do next. He completely ignores the supplies from the pharmacy, instead changing into his pajamas and crawling into bed, and all Aymeric can do is watch helplessly as the man begins to cry silently, no doubt wallowing in his own misery. Aymeric can only imagine the pain he’s feeling right now, the hopelessness, the despair. He honestly wishes he could do more, but if he pushes too much Estinien will no doubt reject him. And so he simply curls up next to the human, his body pressed up against Estinien’s arm, hoping against hope that it brings the human at least a tiny bit of comfort.
Come morning Aymeric will sneak out to the kitchens to find something suitable for the human to eat while he’s recovering, even if he may very well end up throwing it back in his face. He settles on some chicken and vegetable soup, figuring that it’ll be easy enough for Estinien to digest. With tray in hand he brings the soup along with a glass of water to Estinien’s room, quietly entering before setting the tray on the nightstand so that he can attempt to wake Estinien up.
Maybe the feeling of his weight on the bed will be enough? If not he’ll try waking him with his voice before he resorts to touching him.]
Estinien…? I brought you something to eat. I know you don’t wish to talk but will you at least try to eat?
[He feels the small, furry body press against his arm, but he doesn't react to him. It's not much longer after that when Estinien passes out once more, too exhausted from his injury and his misery to keep being awake. He doesn't understand this situation, not even a bit, and this anxiety follows him into his dreams. The nightmares are just as bad as they typically are, causing him to whimper and cry in his sleep, but there's little to be done for it.
When he wakes, it's to Aymeric's voice-- and it's good that he doesn't shake him awake, as he'd have an averse reaction to being touched right now. He stares blankly at the demon for a moment, before he's finally sitting up, taking the tray from his nightstand to examine what he's been brought.
He doesn't say anything, but he slowly starts to eat the soup. Careful spoonfuls of the stuff, his stomach growling faintly from how empty it is. Estinien keeps silent as he eats, the demon sat on the edge of the bed going without comment for now. Once the bowl is mostly empty, he sets the tray aside, moving his body to get up on his feet. He isn't going far, just to the desk where all the medicine is, and he dutifully finds the medicine the hospital gave him, grabbing his required dosage and popping them, gulping water down to swallow the pills.
He drains the rest of the glass before he crawls back into his bed, curling up on the side that isn't injured and turning away from the demon, pulling the blanket back over him.
Clearly, not much progress is going to be made today.]
[The nightmares that plague Estinien return that night, and all Aymeric can really do is lay next to him to let him know that he’s not alone. Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to help much, but he’s not willing to risk Estinien’s wrath by transforming into his demon form right now, so alas, it’ll have to do. At least he sleeps through the night, and come morning Aymeric will wake him gently so that he can eat something. He won’t be able to heal without proper nourishment, after all.
He’s not all that surprised when Estinien remains silent even after he wakes, but at least he takes the tray and looks over the offerings instead of throwing it back in his face. He even starts to eat the soup, one careful spoonful at a time, much to Aymeric’s relief. Once it’s almost gone he sets the tray aside and gets up to go take his meds, and even though Aymeric wants to scold him for moving around instead of asking him for help he bites his tongue, not wanting to upset the fragile peace between them.
Unfortunately that’s all the acknowledgment Aymeric is going to get it seems, because then Estinien is crawling back into bed and curling up on his good side, facing away from. A clear sign that he’s not open to anymore interaction right now. And so Aymeric will simply take the tray and head out of the room without a word, not wanting to disturb his rest. After dropping it off at the kitchens he’ll go out and find himself a meal, staying out until about midnight, when he returns to Estinien’s room as a cat to spend the night.
The next day is much the same, with Aymeric bringing Estinien a meal and some water. He offers a greeting and an attempt at conversation, but if Estinien doesn’t respond he’ll simply leave it at that. He really is trying to make up for causing him so much pain and suffering, but he has no idea if it’ll work or not. But regardless he’ll continue to bring him food each day, until Estinien either tells him to stop or finally decides to forgive him enough to hold a conversation with him.]
[He doesn't want to talk to anyone, least of all to Aymeric. Each day goes by the same-- he eats, he takes his medicine, he goes back to sleep. He doesn't engage in the demon's attempts at conversation, and he doesn't attempt any himself. Estinien doesn't look to be doing anything at all honestly. His phone is on its charger a distance from him and it's been there the whole time, unused. If he's gotten any calls, any texts, well. Too bad.
His brain stays full of static for days, but eventually even that relief from realty leaves him. His body hurts, it's sore and unpleasant, and he feels disgusting. His hair is greasy, his body is disgusting, and he's had enough of that. So once his food is done for the day and his pills are taken he gets up without a word and goes to the bathroom. Aymeric will hear the tell-tale sounds of the shower turning on, and soon he's washing himself. His stitches can get wet, as far as he recalls, as long as he doesn't soak the area.
So he's quick and efficient, scrubbing the grime and old sweat from his skin and washing his hair before he's turning the shower back off. He steps out, toweling off, making sure to dry his stitches carefully. He's getting dressed in fresh pajamas before he goes back into is bedroom, wet hair still a mess on his head.
He climbs back into bed, ignoring the tremors in his body-- likely from withdrawal, he imagines-- as he pulls the blankets back up. Finally, for the first time in ages, he looks at Aymeric straight on, a frown on his mouth.]
[That Estinien has shut everyone out after what he went through is no surprise really, but it’s still frustrating to deal with. Aymeric knows that he fucked up royally, but he’s making an honest effort to redeem himself, and he hopes that Estinien realizes that. Even if he doesn’t though Aymeric isn’t going to stop bringing him food and checking on him, not until he either gets a response or gets thrown out. Sorry, Estinien.
It’s good to see the man get up to go shower, honestly. He’s been glued to his bed ever since he left the hospital, only getting up to take his medicine and eat, and Aymeric is worried that he might start wasting away if he doesn’t make an effort to get some exercise, even if it’s just showering. He imagines Estinien's wounds must still ache, but at least he has pain medicine to take if he needs it. But anyway, Aymeric will take the tray back to the kitchens before returning to Estinien’s room and waiting for him to come out of the shower, perched on a chair in his demon form for now.
The human looks cute with his hair all wet like that, but Aymeric doesn’t say as much as he watches Estinien climb back into bed, not really expecting him to speak. Those tremors are a little worrying, but Aymeric doesn’t mention those either, figuring his concern will fall on deaf ears.
But then Estinien is looking at him and speaking to him for the first time in ages, and Aymeric blinks a few times before letting out a huff.]
Until I got a response. And I have. I figured you would kick me out before speaking to me though. How are you feeling, by the way?
[Estinien is still trembling slightly though, which is concerning. It’s either the medication or…]
Hmm. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?
[It's a little surprising that Aymeric stayed in his normal form instead of returning to his cat form. But as he climbs back in bed, he's trying to ignore his own shaking, sipping his water as he waits for Aymeric to reply to his question.
Apparently he just wanted a reaction. Annoying. He lets out a sigh at this information, wondering why he even bothers. Aymeric is just trying to rile him up, what else did he expect?]
I'm fine.
[A lie, of course, but he doesn't care.
He frowns at Aymeric's next question, shrugging his shoulder.]
Likely before my mission. I hardly have access to my cigarettes in here.
[He can see through that lie, but it’s fine. He didn’t expect Estinien to warm up to him overnight, and he doubts that the man will feel like sharing his pain with him anytime soon, be it physical or mental. Still, there must be something he can do for Estinien to kickstart the process of mending their relationship, even if it’s something small…
Hearing that Estinien hasn’t had a cigarette in a good long while gives him an idea though, and though he should probably be concerned about the human’s lungs he decides that the benefits of giving the man a gift that could potentially help him feel better both physically and mentally outweigh the risks.
And so he stands up from the bed, stretching his wings a little before turning to Estinien.]
I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.
[He doubts that Estinien will, but still. With that he glamours himself before heading to the nearest gas station and picking up a carton of the cigarettes that Estinien usually smokes using money he absolutely stole from his last meal. Nobody needs to know, right? Right. Anyway once he purchases them (along with a few snacks and drinks) he returns to the monastery before heading to Estinien’s room, bag in hand. Hopefully this gift will bring the man some much-needed relief.
Once he arrives he lets himself in before handing the sack over for Estinien to sift through. Hopefully he still has a lighter on him.]
Here. I figured they might help with the trembling. And the pain.
[He rolls his eyes at being told not to go anywhere-- like he even could right now. Estinien is a stubborn bastard but going out and about like this is asking for trouble. Now that he isn't in immediate danger of dying, it seems he's more agreeable to recovering.
But time without Aymeric isn't unwelcome. He lays in his bed and dozes briefly, his pain killers making him excessively sleepy. There's really no telling how long Aymeric is gone before he hears him return, handing a plastic bag of merchandise from some gas station to him.
He frowns, suspicious, and half expecting dirty magazines or some such nonsense inside. He looks in and sees snacks, drinks, and ah. His brand of cigarettes. An entire carton of them. He isn't sure what to make of the gesture but his shaking limbs and aching head won't let him ignore it. He's ripping the carton open to get to a pack, smacking the pack on his open palm to prime the cigarettes as he fishes on the bedside table for one of his lighters.
Once that's done he's taking a cigarette out and lighting it up, taking a long drag and holding it in his lungs as long as he can. He slumps back against his pillows and lets out a sigh, the smoke leaving his mouth in one big puff. Halone has he needed some nicotine.
He glances briefly at the demon, still suspicious, but...]
[He’s glad that Estinien seems to be taking care of himself now that he’s been forced not to take any missions, and hopefully he’ll recover soon. The sleepiness is probably a good thing, otherwise the man would be bored out of his mind being stuck in his room all day. It’s not like he has a TV or anything to keep his mind occupied besides his phone, and that can get tiring after a while.
Aymeric had picked out a few different snacks and drinks for Estinien to choose from, including chips and candy bars and gummies. The drinks are just different varieties of soda, nothing alcoholic, unfortunately. Probably best not to mix those with pain killers. But of course the most important thing is the carton of cigarettes, the exact brand that Estinien usually smokes, and Aymeric waits patiently to see the man’s reaction to his gift.
And oh, the man really must’ve been craving them, because he quickly tears into the carton before grabbing a pack and popping out a cigarette, and Aymeric can’t help but feel pleased. Feeding a bad habit really isn’t anything to be proud of, he knows, but he’s a demon, so of course he’s going to encourage such things. Plus the human is shaking so bad that it’s worrying, and if the only thing that will help is a cigarette then so be it.
Aymeric watches in silent amusement as Estinien inhales the smoke deeply and holds it in his lungs, clearly relishing the feeling. He doesn’t really indulge in smoking much himself, but he imagines that it must feel heavenly to get a hit of nicotine after going without for so long. Once Estinien slumps back against his pillows and exhales Aymeric lets out a chuckle, because really, how cute can one human be?
He’s not expecting the thanks, and he blinks a couple of times before nodding with a smile.]
You’re welcome. Enjoy.
[He has a seat on the chair nearby, humming a little as he eyes the pack of cigarettes Estinien had opened.]
[Estinien doesn't care much at the moment for the snacks and such, the cigarettes very clearly take all of his attention the moment he spies them. He's lighting up hastily, not giving a shit that Aymeric is watching him fumble for it, too eager to get his fix to really care. Once the smoke is in his lungs he feels marginally less awful, even if his formerly punctured lung doesn't really appreciate his addiction.
Hearing that chuckle isn't even enough to dissuade him from taking another long drag, ignoring the demon's amusement with him. If he wants to laugh at his misery then whatever. He doesn't care anymore.
Of course the demon is asking for one, and he rolls his eyes, holding the pack out to the creature.]
[Estinien being this addicted to cigarettes isn’t exactly a good thing, but whatever, he’s injured and Aymeric figured he could use a fix, so here they are. He’s not laughing at his misery, he’s just amused at how cute this human is, but he’s not about to say that, so Estinien can think what he will. At least the human is speaking to him now, and he even offers Aymeric a cigarette after he asks for one, which he takes with a thank-you.]
I could have, but I doubt I would’ve smoked the entire thing.
[He waits for Estinien to either light the end or pass him the lighter before he inhales deeply, the smoke filling his lungs and giving him a nice rush. There’s no risk of him getting addicted or suffering any other ill effects from smoking, so why not indulge?]
You have good taste. But you know, you should consider vaping. For your health. There’s plenty of different flavors to choose from. Like cherry. Or grape.
[He hums at his answer, not really sure what to say about that. Demons hardly concern themselves with waste as far as he knows, and an incubus concerned with excess seems laughable. Estinien assumes the demon just wanted one from him specifically, for whatever reason.
He'll light Aymeric's cigarette for him after he realizes he's waiting for it, then he's just going back to enjoying his own. He's tapping his ash off in the ash tray on his bedside table, giving a shrug to his words.]
I don't care about the health risks. And I'm not interested in fruity flavors. I like the taste of tobacco.
[In fact he takes another long drag, savoring the taste of it.]
Besides, the people who vape are all obnoxious twats.
[Don't call him out like this!! He just wants to share a cigarette with Estinien, is that so wrong? Maybe he just didn’t want to spend his pocket money on cigarettes he wouldn’t smoke!! But anyway, Estinien is lighting up his cigarette and Aymeric inhales deeply, enjoying the rush of nicotine in his veins. He can see why humans get addicted to these things so easily, though he’d honestly take good sex over a smoke any day.
Estinien insists that he likes the taste of tobacco though, and that he doesn’t care about the health risks of smoking. Neither of which comes as any surprise to Aymeric, but hey, he had to try!]
I see.
[Aymeric inhales again as well before blowing the smoke up towards the ceiling and flicking the ash into the ash tray. At least Estinien is talking to him now, even if he’s likely still upset with him. Progress!
Estinien saying that people who vape are twats catches him off-guard though, and he laughs out loud, because wow, he wasn’t expecting that.]
I can’t deny that. Stick with smoking the good stuff then.
[He finishes off his cigarette before tossing the butt into the ash tray, and now it’s time for snacks. He doesn’t need to eat actual food but he likes to indulge sometimes anyway, and he grabs and opens up a pack of chocolate snack cakes before biting into one with a pleased rumble.]
How did you start smoking anyway? Peer pressure? That’s how it usually happens, right? Smoking, drinking, doing drugs, all of it usually starts in the teenage years.
[Estinien planned to stick to his cigarettes regardless, he's too stubborn to change his ways once he's set in them. He keeps taking slow drags of his own, ashing it when he needs to, watching the smoke curl up in the air towards his ceiling. It's relaxing, to watch them twine together as they rise, making him slump into the pile of pillows behind him as he indulges.
But Aymeric is done smoking and moving on to other delights, which seems to include snack cakes. He looks at him absently as he starts to bite into one, wondering why the incubus bothers. He supposes it doesn't hurt any and if the demon likes to indulge in things then human sweets are hardly off the list...
It seems he's intent on prying more, though, and Estinien quirks an eyebrow at the barrage. And, weirdly enough he lets out a short laugh at that. Honestly.]
Hardly. I didn't have any 'peers' growing up here.
[He shrugs a shoulder, finally snubbing out the butt of his cigarette before he reaches into the bag to fish out some soda-- seems it's cherry Pepsi-- and popping it open.]
My first solo mission. The demon I killed, he was smoking a cigarette. I finished it for him.
[He nearly chokes on his snack cake when he hears Estinien laugh like that. It sounded genuine, with a light, airy quality, and Aymeric can’t help but enjoy the sound of it. If only he could make the human laugh more often…but baby steps. They’re slowly making progress, at least Aymeric thinks so, and maybe one day they’ll be on friendly terms. Not by the end of the night, certainly, but someday…
Aymeric tilts his head curiously at Estinien saying that he had no peers growing up here though.]
A few of the order look close to you in age though. Like Heustienne. Did she not join until later?
[Aymeric isn’t trying to pry really, he’s just curious, but if Estinien doesn’t want to talk about it he won’t push.
He finishes off his treat before grabbing out an orange soda and popping it open, not worried in the slightest about the sugar content. Hearing that Estinien got his first cigarette from a demon is rather surprising though, and Aymeric huffs a laugh at that, tail swishing in amusement.]
Oh? What kind of demon was it? And you liked it that much, hm? Ever tried weed?
[Aymeric mentioning any of his order by name has him cocking his head to the side like a confused dog. But he nods to his question, sipping his soda.]
She joined at 18. Most of them did. I'm the only person who grew up here.
[But he fishes some Combos out of the bag and pops the bag open to start in on them, still hungry enough to eat he supposes. His hands are more stable now that he's had a cigarette, noticeably. The demon is certainly chatty tonight but for once, Estinien doesn't seem to mind it too much.
What sort of demon? He hums.]
It was a Wendigo, if I remember right. Nasty creature. Ah, no, but I could I suppose.
[There's nothing in his oath saying he can't. As long as he doesn't dishonor Halone while he's high anyway.]
[He might know a few of their names by now, either because he’s slept with them or, as is the case with Heustienne, he’s simply overheard them while eavesdropping on conversations. Not that he’s going to tell Estinien that, of course! But wow, it must’ve been lonely growing up in a monastery with no other children around…]
I see. Sounds lonely.
[Then again some humans are solitary, just like some demons are. At any rate Aymeric is glad to see that Estinien has an appetite, and that his hands have steadied quite a bit. It’s incredible what nicotine can do for a person, honestly. The human is also tolerating his presence and chatting with him, which is unexpected but certainly not unwelcome.
Aymeric sips at his soda, eyebrows raising in surprise when Estinien says that it was a Wendigo that he killed.]
Truly? That’s quite the beast to take down for your first solo mission. I’m impressed. And really? Maybe I’ll bring you some sometime.
[Weed brownies, anyone?]
Hm…out of curiosity, what all exactly are you forbidden from doing as part of your oath?
[He shrugs to the comment on his potential loneliness, because he supposes it's true. He was lonely, for a long time, but eventually he grew used to it. He'd been so young when he'd been left here, his family freshly murdered, that he'd found it impossible to connect with any of the adults who tried to speak to him. With no other children around, he just ended up keeping to himself.
And then he never really stopped. Not that he can say he minds being solitary. People are rather grating to him overall and the fewer people who harass him, the better. It does leave him unable to really understand why Aymeric keeps hanging around though.
He sips his own soda and raises an eyebrow at Aymeric's impressed words. A wendigo is hardly prey for a first timer but he recalls it had been dire, and he had been well trained, so...]
You're going to bring me weed? Suit yourself.
[Whatever.
But he's taking another cigarette and lighting it up, taking another long drag. Gods he's missed smoking...]
I can't fuck. I can't have a romantic relationship. I may not worship any other deities. I'm obligated to perform services in Her name when able. I can't have meat on Wednesdays.
[He knows that Estinien would rather just be left alone, but at least the man is tolerating his presence and engaging in conversation with him. That’s more than he could’ve hoped for after everything that’s happened, honestly, and he’s grateful for it. He does wonder if he’ll ever hear more about Estinien’s childhood and what growing up in a monastery was like, but he won’t push too much for now, not wanting to risk Estinien clamming up on him again.
Taking down a wendigo by yourself is a daunting task even for veteran hunters, so yes, Aymeric is definitely impressed. That question gets a hum out of him, one clawed finger tracing around the rim of his soda can.]
Maybe. I’ll see what I can do.
[Another cigarette? Estinien really must’ve missed smoking. Well whatever, let the man have it.
He’s not surprised about most of the things that Estinien isn’t allowed to do being a devout follower of Halone, though the meat thing gives him pause.]
What? No meat on Wednesdays? Why?
[He’s a bit baffled about that one, honestly.]
So you can’t fuck or have romantic relationships, hm? A shame. Can you jerk off? Watch porn?
[Though admittedly Estinien doesn’t really seem to be the type.]
And what about killing other humans? Is that allowed?
[He missed smoking quite a bit, really. His body went through intense withdrawals in the hospital and it's only continued while he's been stuck in bed. He might not admit it but he's feeling at least a tiny bit grateful that Aymeric brought him some to ease his suffering.
It seems that some of Halone's rules are confusing to the demon, and he shrugs a shoulder to his question.]
She is infinite in Her fury but we are called on to recall Her mercy as well. We're to abstain from killing on Wednesdays, and that extends to animals. There are exceptions of course.
[Such as if a demon needed to be slain on a Wednesday, they'd obviously do it anyway. It's a strange grey area.
But Aymeric's other questions make him roll his eyes.]
I can. To both.
[He doesn't watch porn but the option remains.
Killing other people? He thinks about it for a moment.]
[He’ll take Estinien actually talking to him as a sign that he’s managed to get on his good side by buying him cigarettes. In fact he’s even taking the time to explain what he’s not allowed to do as a devout follower of Halone, which Aymeric is honestly surprised at. He didn’t think he’d bother trying to explain the rules to a demon, but here they are.
He hums at that explanation, scratching his chin a little.]
You mean if a demon needs to die that day it will?
[Good to know. Not that Estinien is interested in killing him, but still.
But surprisingly Estinien is allowed to jerk off and watch porn, which Aymeric hadn’t been expecting. These holy types tend to be all about maintaining purity, after all.]
Really? What do you watch, then? Don’t worry, I won’t judge. I’ve heard of just about every kink there is and tried a good amount of them.
[If he watches any at all, anyway. Doubtful, but still, it can’t hurt to ask, right?
So killing humans is frowned upon but not out of the question, hm? Interesting.]
I see. But you’re not the type to go around killing humans that don’t need to be killed. Not like some of my kin. The slaughter I witnessed upon our first meeting was inexcusable.
[He finishes off his soda before crushing the can in his hand and tossing it into the trash.]
I don’t enjoy killing. It’s a terrible waste. Plus humans are quite ugly once you get past the outer skin.
[He nods to his first question, because yes. If a demon needed to die, then it would be done. Day of the week doesn't matter if something truly powerful needs to be put down. Halone wouldn't want innocents to pay for Her holy day.
He sips more of his soda and take another drag of his cigarette, rolling his eyes at Aymeric's next question.]
I don't. Watch any, I mean. I've never seen porn.
[He means it, too. He's never seen any porn, and has no interest in it. There's no sense in giving his brain more fodder to torment him with when his hormones act up. His current fantasies are probably all perfectly chaste and tame to someone like Aymeric, really.
He listens a bit to the demon explain that he doesn't enjoy slaughtering humans, and it makes sense. The demon feeds on living humans, so why kill off potential food? Saying they're ugly without their skins makes him snort softly, because really. What a demon thing to say.]
Muscle and guts are rarely attractive. But I suppose a dead human is useless to an incubus.
[It makes sense that demons are the exception to the no killing rule on Halone’s holy day. What’s the point of having such a day if your followers die because of it?
Estinien saying that he’s never actually watched porn just baffles him though. Sure, he doesn’t seem like the type of guy who watches it on the regular, but to have never seen any at all? He calls bullshit.]
Never? Not even pictures? Or drawings? Or art? Surely you’ve seen some lewd paintings before.
[If not then what does he think about when he jerks off? It is a mystery…
He nods to that though, tail curling around the leg of the chair.]
Indeed. Dead people can’t put off any desire. Neither can children, which is why we leave them alone. We don’t feed off each other either, because it would be pointless.
[Incubi and succubi may put off desire but they would also feed off one another, which would cancel out any desire they would gain. A shame, really.]
Other demons are fair game though. Obviously some are easier to mate with than others.
[Slimes and such don’t put out much desire and are typically toxic, so yeah, not ideal sex partners.
He pulls his legs up underneath him then, setting his chin on his knees as he looks at Estinien curiously.]
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bakerstreet2021-03-11 07:50 am
no subject
…just why do you want to die so badly?
[All he wants is to understand, but something tells him that he won’t be getting any answers out of the man now that he’s gone and infuriated him. The nurse provides Estinien water and checks his vitals, and Aymeric watches silently as the human blatantly ignores his question. He really has screwed up, hasn’t he? If only there were a quick way to fix things…
Eventually though, whenever Estinien passes out again, Aymeric will finally disappear from the hospital, figuring that his presence is only upsetting the human. He doesn’t really know where to even begin trying to fix things, but he figures waiting for Estinien in his room as a cat couldn’t hurt. He’d rather keep an eye on the human, just in case his wounds open up again, even if he’s likely the last person Estinien wants to see.
He also goes through the trouble of providing a few things he’d stolen from the local pharmacy, including some over the counter pain meds, some antibiotic cream, and some bandaging supplies, all laid out on Estinien’s nightstand for him to use. Whether he will or not remains to be seen, however.]
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When he asks that though Estinien just lets out a deep sigh, going silent. He gets the feeling he won't be able to explain in a way that satisfies the incubus, and he just doesn't care to. The nurse checks him over, lets him know he's improving, and then leaves them to their silence again. Estinien won't be entertaining any more conversation with Aymeric, at least not now.
Once he passes out though, he's mildly surprised to find Aymeric gone when he awakens again. The silent, empty room is a relief, honestly, compared to the way he's felt on edge lately around the demon.
Eventually they discharge him, with a mountain of pills and other things, and Estinien heads back to his room at the monastary. He reports in to the head of the order who tells him he won't be on jobs for a while, making him grit his teeth but concede. He walks back to his room with nothing on his mind but static, lost in a sea of fog.
But there's a cat in his room. Along with a mess of supplies on the table. Estinien looks at them all with dead, empty eyes, unsure what to make of the gesture. He drops his own bag on there with the prescription medications and abruptly turns from it, going to strip down into his pajamas, and crawling into bed without a word.
He lays there, unable to think of anything worth saying to the demon in his room. He feels empty, hollow, unable to escape from the misery that is his own life, and now he's somehow acquired a well-meaning jailer along the way. Why? What had he done, to deserve this? He tries his best, to follow Halone's will, to see things done in her name, and yet...
And yet...
If there are tears running down from his eyes, well, he doesn't acknowledge them. But with how hopeless he feels, it's maybe little surprise he is.]
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It doesn’t surprise him that he doesn’t get an answer out of Estinien, because why would he? The man has made it painfully obvious that he doesn’t want to talk anymore, and so Aymeric leaves it at that, letting the nurse go about checking Estinien’s vitals and such. Once the man passes out again it’s time to take his leave, though not forever, unfortunately for Estinien. He returns to the monastery after stealing some supplies from the local pharmacy, and once it’s all laid out he turns back into a cat and awaits the human’s return.
But when Estinien finally does return he looks more dull and lifeless than ever, and Aymeric isn’t sure what he should do next. He completely ignores the supplies from the pharmacy, instead changing into his pajamas and crawling into bed, and all Aymeric can do is watch helplessly as the man begins to cry silently, no doubt wallowing in his own misery. Aymeric can only imagine the pain he’s feeling right now, the hopelessness, the despair. He honestly wishes he could do more, but if he pushes too much Estinien will no doubt reject him. And so he simply curls up next to the human, his body pressed up against Estinien’s arm, hoping against hope that it brings the human at least a tiny bit of comfort.
Come morning Aymeric will sneak out to the kitchens to find something suitable for the human to eat while he’s recovering, even if he may very well end up throwing it back in his face. He settles on some chicken and vegetable soup, figuring that it’ll be easy enough for Estinien to digest. With tray in hand he brings the soup along with a glass of water to Estinien’s room, quietly entering before setting the tray on the nightstand so that he can attempt to wake Estinien up.
Maybe the feeling of his weight on the bed will be enough? If not he’ll try waking him with his voice before he resorts to touching him.]
Estinien…? I brought you something to eat. I know you don’t wish to talk but will you at least try to eat?
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When he wakes, it's to Aymeric's voice-- and it's good that he doesn't shake him awake, as he'd have an averse reaction to being touched right now. He stares blankly at the demon for a moment, before he's finally sitting up, taking the tray from his nightstand to examine what he's been brought.
He doesn't say anything, but he slowly starts to eat the soup. Careful spoonfuls of the stuff, his stomach growling faintly from how empty it is. Estinien keeps silent as he eats, the demon sat on the edge of the bed going without comment for now. Once the bowl is mostly empty, he sets the tray aside, moving his body to get up on his feet. He isn't going far, just to the desk where all the medicine is, and he dutifully finds the medicine the hospital gave him, grabbing his required dosage and popping them, gulping water down to swallow the pills.
He drains the rest of the glass before he crawls back into his bed, curling up on the side that isn't injured and turning away from the demon, pulling the blanket back over him.
Clearly, not much progress is going to be made today.]
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He’s not all that surprised when Estinien remains silent even after he wakes, but at least he takes the tray and looks over the offerings instead of throwing it back in his face. He even starts to eat the soup, one careful spoonful at a time, much to Aymeric’s relief. Once it’s almost gone he sets the tray aside and gets up to go take his meds, and even though Aymeric wants to scold him for moving around instead of asking him for help he bites his tongue, not wanting to upset the fragile peace between them.
Unfortunately that’s all the acknowledgment Aymeric is going to get it seems, because then Estinien is crawling back into bed and curling up on his good side, facing away from. A clear sign that he’s not open to anymore interaction right now. And so Aymeric will simply take the tray and head out of the room without a word, not wanting to disturb his rest. After dropping it off at the kitchens he’ll go out and find himself a meal, staying out until about midnight, when he returns to Estinien’s room as a cat to spend the night.
The next day is much the same, with Aymeric bringing Estinien a meal and some water. He offers a greeting and an attempt at conversation, but if Estinien doesn’t respond he’ll simply leave it at that. He really is trying to make up for causing him so much pain and suffering, but he has no idea if it’ll work or not. But regardless he’ll continue to bring him food each day, until Estinien either tells him to stop or finally decides to forgive him enough to hold a conversation with him.]
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His brain stays full of static for days, but eventually even that relief from realty leaves him. His body hurts, it's sore and unpleasant, and he feels disgusting. His hair is greasy, his body is disgusting, and he's had enough of that. So once his food is done for the day and his pills are taken he gets up without a word and goes to the bathroom. Aymeric will hear the tell-tale sounds of the shower turning on, and soon he's washing himself. His stitches can get wet, as far as he recalls, as long as he doesn't soak the area.
So he's quick and efficient, scrubbing the grime and old sweat from his skin and washing his hair before he's turning the shower back off. He steps out, toweling off, making sure to dry his stitches carefully. He's getting dressed in fresh pajamas before he goes back into is bedroom, wet hair still a mess on his head.
He climbs back into bed, ignoring the tremors in his body-- likely from withdrawal, he imagines-- as he pulls the blankets back up. Finally, for the first time in ages, he looks at Aymeric straight on, a frown on his mouth.]
How long do you plan to keep this up for?
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It’s good to see the man get up to go shower, honestly. He’s been glued to his bed ever since he left the hospital, only getting up to take his medicine and eat, and Aymeric is worried that he might start wasting away if he doesn’t make an effort to get some exercise, even if it’s just showering. He imagines Estinien's wounds must still ache, but at least he has pain medicine to take if he needs it. But anyway, Aymeric will take the tray back to the kitchens before returning to Estinien’s room and waiting for him to come out of the shower, perched on a chair in his demon form for now.
The human looks cute with his hair all wet like that, but Aymeric doesn’t say as much as he watches Estinien climb back into bed, not really expecting him to speak. Those tremors are a little worrying, but Aymeric doesn’t mention those either, figuring his concern will fall on deaf ears.
But then Estinien is looking at him and speaking to him for the first time in ages, and Aymeric blinks a few times before letting out a huff.]
Until I got a response. And I have. I figured you would kick me out before speaking to me though. How are you feeling, by the way?
[Estinien is still trembling slightly though, which is concerning. It’s either the medication or…]
Hmm. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?
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Apparently he just wanted a reaction. Annoying. He lets out a sigh at this information, wondering why he even bothers. Aymeric is just trying to rile him up, what else did he expect?]
I'm fine.
[A lie, of course, but he doesn't care.
He frowns at Aymeric's next question, shrugging his shoulder.]
Likely before my mission. I hardly have access to my cigarettes in here.
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Hearing that Estinien hasn’t had a cigarette in a good long while gives him an idea though, and though he should probably be concerned about the human’s lungs he decides that the benefits of giving the man a gift that could potentially help him feel better both physically and mentally outweigh the risks.
And so he stands up from the bed, stretching his wings a little before turning to Estinien.]
I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.
[He doubts that Estinien will, but still. With that he glamours himself before heading to the nearest gas station and picking up a carton of the cigarettes that Estinien usually smokes using money he absolutely stole from his last meal. Nobody needs to know, right? Right. Anyway once he purchases them (along with a few snacks and drinks) he returns to the monastery before heading to Estinien’s room, bag in hand. Hopefully this gift will bring the man some much-needed relief.
Once he arrives he lets himself in before handing the sack over for Estinien to sift through. Hopefully he still has a lighter on him.]
Here. I figured they might help with the trembling. And the pain.
[The pain that Estinien denies exists.]
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But time without Aymeric isn't unwelcome. He lays in his bed and dozes briefly, his pain killers making him excessively sleepy. There's really no telling how long Aymeric is gone before he hears him return, handing a plastic bag of merchandise from some gas station to him.
He frowns, suspicious, and half expecting dirty magazines or some such nonsense inside. He looks in and sees snacks, drinks, and ah. His brand of cigarettes. An entire carton of them. He isn't sure what to make of the gesture but his shaking limbs and aching head won't let him ignore it. He's ripping the carton open to get to a pack, smacking the pack on his open palm to prime the cigarettes as he fishes on the bedside table for one of his lighters.
Once that's done he's taking a cigarette out and lighting it up, taking a long drag and holding it in his lungs as long as he can. He slumps back against his pillows and lets out a sigh, the smoke leaving his mouth in one big puff. Halone has he needed some nicotine.
He glances briefly at the demon, still suspicious, but...]
...Thanks.
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Aymeric had picked out a few different snacks and drinks for Estinien to choose from, including chips and candy bars and gummies. The drinks are just different varieties of soda, nothing alcoholic, unfortunately. Probably best not to mix those with pain killers. But of course the most important thing is the carton of cigarettes, the exact brand that Estinien usually smokes, and Aymeric waits patiently to see the man’s reaction to his gift.
And oh, the man really must’ve been craving them, because he quickly tears into the carton before grabbing a pack and popping out a cigarette, and Aymeric can’t help but feel pleased. Feeding a bad habit really isn’t anything to be proud of, he knows, but he’s a demon, so of course he’s going to encourage such things. Plus the human is shaking so bad that it’s worrying, and if the only thing that will help is a cigarette then so be it.
Aymeric watches in silent amusement as Estinien inhales the smoke deeply and holds it in his lungs, clearly relishing the feeling. He doesn’t really indulge in smoking much himself, but he imagines that it must feel heavenly to get a hit of nicotine after going without for so long. Once Estinien slumps back against his pillows and exhales Aymeric lets out a chuckle, because really, how cute can one human be?
He’s not expecting the thanks, and he blinks a couple of times before nodding with a smile.]
You’re welcome. Enjoy.
[He has a seat on the chair nearby, humming a little as he eyes the pack of cigarettes Estinien had opened.]
Mind if I have just one?
[Maybe they can bond over it.]
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Hearing that chuckle isn't even enough to dissuade him from taking another long drag, ignoring the demon's amusement with him. If he wants to laugh at his misery then whatever. He doesn't care anymore.
Of course the demon is asking for one, and he rolls his eyes, holding the pack out to the creature.]
You could have simply gotten yourself a pack.
[He's the one who bought them after all.]
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I could have, but I doubt I would’ve smoked the entire thing.
[He waits for Estinien to either light the end or pass him the lighter before he inhales deeply, the smoke filling his lungs and giving him a nice rush. There’s no risk of him getting addicted or suffering any other ill effects from smoking, so why not indulge?]
You have good taste. But you know, you should consider vaping. For your health. There’s plenty of different flavors to choose from. Like cherry. Or grape.
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He'll light Aymeric's cigarette for him after he realizes he's waiting for it, then he's just going back to enjoying his own. He's tapping his ash off in the ash tray on his bedside table, giving a shrug to his words.]
I don't care about the health risks. And I'm not interested in fruity flavors. I like the taste of tobacco.
[In fact he takes another long drag, savoring the taste of it.]
Besides, the people who vape are all obnoxious twats.
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Estinien insists that he likes the taste of tobacco though, and that he doesn’t care about the health risks of smoking. Neither of which comes as any surprise to Aymeric, but hey, he had to try!]
I see.
[Aymeric inhales again as well before blowing the smoke up towards the ceiling and flicking the ash into the ash tray. At least Estinien is talking to him now, even if he’s likely still upset with him. Progress!
Estinien saying that people who vape are twats catches him off-guard though, and he laughs out loud, because wow, he wasn’t expecting that.]
I can’t deny that. Stick with smoking the good stuff then.
[He finishes off his cigarette before tossing the butt into the ash tray, and now it’s time for snacks. He doesn’t need to eat actual food but he likes to indulge sometimes anyway, and he grabs and opens up a pack of chocolate snack cakes before biting into one with a pleased rumble.]
How did you start smoking anyway? Peer pressure? That’s how it usually happens, right? Smoking, drinking, doing drugs, all of it usually starts in the teenage years.
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But Aymeric is done smoking and moving on to other delights, which seems to include snack cakes. He looks at him absently as he starts to bite into one, wondering why the incubus bothers. He supposes it doesn't hurt any and if the demon likes to indulge in things then human sweets are hardly off the list...
It seems he's intent on prying more, though, and Estinien quirks an eyebrow at the barrage. And, weirdly enough he lets out a short laugh at that. Honestly.]
Hardly. I didn't have any 'peers' growing up here.
[He shrugs a shoulder, finally snubbing out the butt of his cigarette before he reaches into the bag to fish out some soda-- seems it's cherry Pepsi-- and popping it open.]
My first solo mission. The demon I killed, he was smoking a cigarette. I finished it for him.
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Aymeric tilts his head curiously at Estinien saying that he had no peers growing up here though.]
A few of the order look close to you in age though. Like Heustienne. Did she not join until later?
[Aymeric isn’t trying to pry really, he’s just curious, but if Estinien doesn’t want to talk about it he won’t push.
He finishes off his treat before grabbing out an orange soda and popping it open, not worried in the slightest about the sugar content. Hearing that Estinien got his first cigarette from a demon is rather surprising though, and Aymeric huffs a laugh at that, tail swishing in amusement.]
Oh? What kind of demon was it? And you liked it that much, hm? Ever tried weed?
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She joined at 18. Most of them did. I'm the only person who grew up here.
[But he fishes some Combos out of the bag and pops the bag open to start in on them, still hungry enough to eat he supposes. His hands are more stable now that he's had a cigarette, noticeably. The demon is certainly chatty tonight but for once, Estinien doesn't seem to mind it too much.
What sort of demon? He hums.]
It was a Wendigo, if I remember right. Nasty creature. Ah, no, but I could I suppose.
[There's nothing in his oath saying he can't. As long as he doesn't dishonor Halone while he's high anyway.]
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I see. Sounds lonely.
[Then again some humans are solitary, just like some demons are. At any rate Aymeric is glad to see that Estinien has an appetite, and that his hands have steadied quite a bit. It’s incredible what nicotine can do for a person, honestly. The human is also tolerating his presence and chatting with him, which is unexpected but certainly not unwelcome.
Aymeric sips at his soda, eyebrows raising in surprise when Estinien says that it was a Wendigo that he killed.]
Truly? That’s quite the beast to take down for your first solo mission. I’m impressed. And really? Maybe I’ll bring you some sometime.
[Weed brownies, anyone?]
Hm…out of curiosity, what all exactly are you forbidden from doing as part of your oath?
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And then he never really stopped. Not that he can say he minds being solitary. People are rather grating to him overall and the fewer people who harass him, the better. It does leave him unable to really understand why Aymeric keeps hanging around though.
He sips his own soda and raises an eyebrow at Aymeric's impressed words. A wendigo is hardly prey for a first timer but he recalls it had been dire, and he had been well trained, so...]
You're going to bring me weed? Suit yourself.
[Whatever.
But he's taking another cigarette and lighting it up, taking another long drag. Gods he's missed smoking...]
I can't fuck. I can't have a romantic relationship. I may not worship any other deities. I'm obligated to perform services in Her name when able. I can't have meat on Wednesdays.
[He thinks over it and shrugs again.]
I believe that covers the major points.
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Taking down a wendigo by yourself is a daunting task even for veteran hunters, so yes, Aymeric is definitely impressed. That question gets a hum out of him, one clawed finger tracing around the rim of his soda can.]
Maybe. I’ll see what I can do.
[Another cigarette? Estinien really must’ve missed smoking. Well whatever, let the man have it.
He’s not surprised about most of the things that Estinien isn’t allowed to do being a devout follower of Halone, though the meat thing gives him pause.]
What? No meat on Wednesdays? Why?
[He’s a bit baffled about that one, honestly.]
So you can’t fuck or have romantic relationships, hm? A shame. Can you jerk off? Watch porn?
[Though admittedly Estinien doesn’t really seem to be the type.]
And what about killing other humans? Is that allowed?
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It seems that some of Halone's rules are confusing to the demon, and he shrugs a shoulder to his question.]
She is infinite in Her fury but we are called on to recall Her mercy as well. We're to abstain from killing on Wednesdays, and that extends to animals. There are exceptions of course.
[Such as if a demon needed to be slain on a Wednesday, they'd obviously do it anyway. It's a strange grey area.
But Aymeric's other questions make him roll his eyes.]
I can. To both.
[He doesn't watch porn but the option remains.
Killing other people? He thinks about it for a moment.]
If it were Her will, yes. Typically, no.
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He hums at that explanation, scratching his chin a little.]
You mean if a demon needs to die that day it will?
[Good to know. Not that Estinien is interested in killing him, but still.
But surprisingly Estinien is allowed to jerk off and watch porn, which Aymeric hadn’t been expecting. These holy types tend to be all about maintaining purity, after all.]
Really? What do you watch, then? Don’t worry, I won’t judge. I’ve heard of just about every kink there is and tried a good amount of them.
[If he watches any at all, anyway. Doubtful, but still, it can’t hurt to ask, right?
So killing humans is frowned upon but not out of the question, hm? Interesting.]
I see. But you’re not the type to go around killing humans that don’t need to be killed. Not like some of my kin. The slaughter I witnessed upon our first meeting was inexcusable.
[He finishes off his soda before crushing the can in his hand and tossing it into the trash.]
I don’t enjoy killing. It’s a terrible waste. Plus humans are quite ugly once you get past the outer skin.
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He sips more of his soda and take another drag of his cigarette, rolling his eyes at Aymeric's next question.]
I don't. Watch any, I mean. I've never seen porn.
[He means it, too. He's never seen any porn, and has no interest in it. There's no sense in giving his brain more fodder to torment him with when his hormones act up. His current fantasies are probably all perfectly chaste and tame to someone like Aymeric, really.
He listens a bit to the demon explain that he doesn't enjoy slaughtering humans, and it makes sense. The demon feeds on living humans, so why kill off potential food? Saying they're ugly without their skins makes him snort softly, because really. What a demon thing to say.]
Muscle and guts are rarely attractive. But I suppose a dead human is useless to an incubus.
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Estinien saying that he’s never actually watched porn just baffles him though. Sure, he doesn’t seem like the type of guy who watches it on the regular, but to have never seen any at all? He calls bullshit.]
Never? Not even pictures? Or drawings? Or art? Surely you’ve seen some lewd paintings before.
[If not then what does he think about when he jerks off? It is a mystery…
He nods to that though, tail curling around the leg of the chair.]
Indeed. Dead people can’t put off any desire. Neither can children, which is why we leave them alone. We don’t feed off each other either, because it would be pointless.
[Incubi and succubi may put off desire but they would also feed off one another, which would cancel out any desire they would gain. A shame, really.]
Other demons are fair game though. Obviously some are easier to mate with than others.
[Slimes and such don’t put out much desire and are typically toxic, so yeah, not ideal sex partners.
He pulls his legs up underneath him then, setting his chin on his knees as he looks at Estinien curiously.]
What’s the strangest demon you’ve ever seen?
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