shut up and kiss me

[blacklisle]

The Fake Relationship Meme

You're not together. But you need to make people think you are. Because of reasons.

Maybe you secretly can't stand each other. Maybe you like each other, just not like that. (Or do you?) Maybe this is the only way you'll ever get to be with your crush. Maybe you just need to give off that couple vibe in public, or maybe you're going to be forced to engage in some hot'n'heavy fakeout makeouts. For reasons, okay?

You know the drill. Post, tag, profit.

1. Home For The Holidays ⇢ You need to prove to your parents that you do so have a significant other. Just until they're gone.
2. No Singles Need Apply ⇢ The place is perfect, but the landlady will only rent it to a nice, respectable couple.
3. It's Not Safe For A Woman Alone ⇢ One of you is vulnerable in this big, bad world without a partner to protect you.
4. Public Relations ⇢ There's only one way to stop these pesky rumors: start your own.
5. Undercover Mission ⇢ They'll never suspect a couple of lovey-dovey honeymooners of... whatever it is you're actually up to.
6. Marriage Of Convenience ⇢ It's good for both your families. Or your finances. Or your hetero street cred. Whatever: might as well make the best of it.
7. Well That Escalated Quickly ⇢ It's common knowledge that you're together, except you're the last to know. Is it worth correcting people?
8. Free Space ⇢ Bring your own bottle scenario.

Comments

[torsion]

[ She almost corrects him with her preference for sir, but instead avoids it for the moment. She'd rather get down to business. She remains seated but attentive, eyes directly on him.

As he carries on, the first sentence alone has her visibly tense but there is nowhere it's more visible in bothering her than her eyes. For all she attempts to keep her feelings under wraps, there is a pooling edge that gives her eyes a gloss among the firmness of her gaze. Her nostrils slightly enlarge when she breathes in through her nose to calm herself, but she listens with rapt attention.

She keeps her hands folded tight to avoid trembling. She means to interrupt and ask questions, but she can see he has more to say and like the previous time he went missing (even if he hadn't really then), Jill waits for all the information. The moment she hears about a lead, though, she moves to standing. Quick to swerve around her desk, she goes to the small locker in her office and pulls out her personal leg holster; she generally wears it all day, every day even when she knows she'll be in the office but she's been busy. ]

I can be ready in less than fifteen. Don't worry, he's as good as back here if I'm involved.

[ She speaks with a stiff certainty, despite the way her heart beats in her chest in a way that feels like it might shrivel or explode. She's putting on the holster now, just below the one on her hip, and checks on her knife there. Sharpened not long ago, it's ready to go if things get rough. ]

I'll need to hit the lockers to get cold weather gear and meet you shortly. You can fill me in more along the way there.

[ She's at the door already, gesturing for him to make his way out with her, down the hall and to the locker room or meet and ready to take off. She doesn't much care which way he goes for now and she's little discomfort in tossing her shirt off for her compression gear and a coat. ]

[activated]

[ Piers tries his best to remain composed. The tension of the conversation was hitting them both as he notices a shift in her eyes. He tries his best not to look directly into them, both out of respect and because it was frankly uncomfortable to bear. It's almost distracting enough to pull him from his train of thought in the way that she suddenly stands and makes her way to the locker. While he didn't expect it, he couldn't blame her. He'd likely have reacted similarly had he been in the position to do so.

Somehow, he manages to carry on and finish without making himself out to be too obvious that his own nerves may not be as quelled as he's trying to put on. At least, he'd like to think that he wasn't. Her words are a relief taking away from the conversation. The ice was broken but not yet cracked down to what it needed to be. He still needed to fill her in on the details now that she had accepted. ]

Understood.

[ He nods trying not to stare as she puts on the holster. The movement is easy to want to instinctively turn to, but it also wasn't the same as being among Chris or his teammates where he felt more comfortable and less self conscious of his every move. Respect first and foremost, especially to his superiors; Maybe especially so because it was Jill Valentine of all people. Having the knowledge that he did of how Chris talked about her personally and Piers's own admiration for her though association to Chris may have made him more on edge than he should be.

He follows her lead out the door. She's quick and it takes him a moment to adjust his speed to match her's. It was definitely a contrast to following Chris who was slower in comparison even in walking. Piers is cautious to keep a distance behind her while staying within earshot. ]

The person of interest that we're looking for is a real estate tycoon in Lashiang. [ For the most part Piers is already dressed in full gear with his tactical gloves stashed in a pocket in his vest. He casually takes them out with the mention of Lashiang. ] The guy had pissed off some wealthy investors along the way and needed to hire a private security. [ He continues while putting them on. ] His security is top of the line and has been seen with a guy who fits Captain-- Chris's description as his personal body guard. The plan was to fake interest in property investment and land a meeting to see if Chris was there and to question him if he wasn't. My guy is ready to make arrangements.

There's one stipulation that you should know about.

[ There's a pause while he fidgets with the right glove to tighten it. Not that he wasn't able to do both, but because he was hesitant to bring up what he had to bring up next. ]

It would be best if we were... posing as a couple.

[ He stands just outside of the locker room tilting his head down as he mentions the last part. Piers is unaware of, nor cares to know of, the exact details as to what's going on in there other than she's acquiring gear for the elements. However, the current circumstance made the stipulation more than a little awkward to bear. He raises a hand to his mouth and clears his throat as if the gesture would ease up the feeling, if only psychologically. ]

My guy says that he's more likely to meet with a couple than anyone going in alone. Has the mindset that they'd be more vulnerable and willing to pay more. I wanted to make it seem more convincing.

[ His arms cross against his chest idly at that. ]

You can decline if you wish.

[ But ]

You also have just as much as a right to this as I do. Maybe more so. I want you to know that Chris is important to me -- To both of us. I'll do everything that it takes to get him back.

[torsion]

[ It's impossible for there to not be a heavy fog filtering through their conversation if it involves Chris's safety and well-being. She wants to be unprofessional and tell Piers that she'll handle it and he's already done enough. That she should've been informed the moment he was injured. She and him had failsafes like that, didn't they? That he was gone for this long already and it wasn't just "on a mission" (technically, it still was) has her silently fuming and with nowhere to vent that frustration it's piling up internally. Vaguely visible in her eyes, but otherwise it's as if it's in the air, lingering, gasping the oxygen.

She turns toward him, absorbing what he says, politely catching his eyes rather than just trudging off. ]

I see. Then all we can do is assume it's him for now. We've done similar work when we were mercenaries for a time and it's understandable if he's... in a place where he can't recall things that he'd do something he's confident in. [ It's good that he can at least trust his body, she thinks. She won't say it aloud, though, even if she is tempted to make more conversation, casual or otherwise. ] ...alright. Do you think you can manage to address me by name and act relaxed? I've done similar things with my partner, Parker, but you have to trust me and be convincing. If you can't call me by my first name or even touch my hip we'll be screwed fast and hard.

[ It's blunt, but she knows it is straight to the point. She hesitates after a moment, gazing to her hip -- at the gun, rather than suggesting he carry on the aforementioned gesture. ]

How casual will we need to be dressed? I'm sure it will involve a pat-down for weapons, as well, which I can manage but if I need to find a dress I'll have to go back home. How formal?

[ She doesn't necessarily want to dress normally, but she's done it before and if it has to be done then it has to be done. ]