bakerstreet | What if we were together? j/k, j/k...unless-

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[meme] shipping

What if we were together? j/k, j/k...unless-

"FAKE" FAKE DATING MEME
aka 'fake turned real'

Whether you're trying to make someone else jealous, trying to save a stranger from a creep on the subway, doing a spy mission, running a con, trying to get your parents off your back about being single at a holiday dinner, or any number of other reasons, fake relationships are a hugely popular trope. From there, the hook that sinks downward is that the best laid plans go awry; what started off as pretend turns all too real. Of course, that'd never happen to you, right?

...rrrrrriiiiight?

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[ This was probably a great idea and absolutely nothing has gone wrong at all! ]

[ To her credit, Mion was aware that this was a terrible idea from the beginning - and even if she hadn't, Rena and Shion hadn't made any secret that they were afraid it would end with one or both of them getting hurt. Pretending to date the boy she actually has feelings for? Yeah, it's pretty much guaranteed heartache.

But her family's starting to put a lot of pressure on her to start thinking about marriage. She's getting older, and since she hasn't had any serious romantic relationships, it's time to start arranging one for her for the future. And while she's not exactly opposed to that idea in theory, Mion would rather wait a few years before making that big a decision. There's still a part of her hoping that she'll fall in love and get married that way.

So, in an effort to appease her family and show them that she's at least dating, and not doomed to become a spinster, she's roped Kei-chan into posing as her boyfriend as a favor. Which, of course, means going on fake, very-public dates in order to spread the news of her relationship around town, preferably in front of as many of her relatives as possible.

She's dropping by his house as planned, to collect him for their first attempt. She knocks on the door, hoping it's Kei-chan that answers and not his folks. She's not sure how much Kei-chan wants them to know about this, and she's already inconveniencing him enough as-is. ]

[ While Keiichi's always known that Mion must be under some pressure as the next Sonozaki family head, it wasn't until she approached him with this ploy that he realized just how serious it was. Her family bringing up marriage is one of those things that would be amusing if it wasn't so serious. This is about the rest of her life, about her decision to choose someone to spend it with. Even if he's not sure that this is the best idea, he can't stand the thought of her getting stuck in some arranged marriage for the rest of her life.

So, he's agreed. And to keep up the illusion, he's even told his parents a little bit about spending more time with Mion. They seem to be getting the idea that they're dating, but his dad is annoyingly excited about the prospect of his son having a girlfriend.

So, in order to avoid his old man bothering him and Mion, he waits close to the door for Mion to arrive for their first "date." When there's a knock on the door, he quickly gets up, yells a good-bye to his parents, and opens the door to slip outside before his dad can have a chance to say anything. By the time his parents will even register what's happened, the door is shut, and he turns to Mion, wiping his forehead with his wrist. ]

Whew. Sorry about that... my dad's getting really carried away with this whole thing.

[ Mion can't help but wince at that statement. She already knew that asking him for help with this was asking for a lot, but she still feels bad hearing how it's clearly inconveniencing him. Especially since the ruse only benefits her. ]

Sorry... if it's too much, we can always call it off.

[ Yeah, that leaves her in the same position as before, and it means he suffered through the initial teasing for nothing, but she means it. Kei-chan is doing her a huge favor, and if he doesn't feel comfortable with it, that's reason enough to stop. She can figure out some other way of not being married off just yet if she has to. Their friendship comes first.

Which is all there really is between them, she reminds herself again for good measure. Just friendship. He's a good friend trying to help her out, and doesn't really want to date her at all, and she shouldn't get any silly ideas from any of this. No matter how much she might wish they weren't playing pretend, she knows better. ]

[ Keiichi is quick — rather quick, in fact — to brush off her concerns, giving her a little nervous laugh and waving his hands dismissively. To him, the idea of giving up and possibly dooming her to a life of being trapped in some arranged marriage is unfathomable, no matter how his parents might end up acting. ]

Haha, don't worry! I can handle my dad. This is only a little more annoying than what he was doing before.

[ His dad was the one making the most insinuations about how all of his friends were girls, and while he had seemed to be focusing most of his speculation on Rena at the time, Mion and even Shion weren't spared from his old man's delusions. At least this way, he and Mion dating isn't really much of a stretch, and is even the lie they're trying to make everyone believe in the first place.

He gives one last glance over his shoulder, then starts walking away from his house with her. It feels like he should offer her his hand or something, strictly to keep up appearances of course, so that's exactly what he does. ]

So, uh, where are we going?

[ As much as he's brushing it off now, Mion makes a mental note to come back and explain things to his fathers once it's all over. Hopefully that'll both stop any lingering teasing and make him more understanding when Kei-chan brings a real girlfriend home. It'd only be a baby step in paying him back for this, but at least it'd be a start. Maybe she could even help with hooking him and Rena up, as painful as it'd be.

For now, though, they're the ones playing at dating, and so she'll take his hand to keep up the charade. Even if it makes her stomach do flips. ]

One of my uncles owns a restaurant in Okinomiya. I figure that's a good place for us to get spotted together.

[ It's a good spot for a dinner date, too, so it won't look too much like she's trying hard to sell it. It's a casual place where plenty of couples try out first dates, or so her uncle likes to claim. Plus, this uncle is one who likes to be more hands-on with his business, so there's even a good chance of him directly seeing them on their "date" and reporting that back to the family. ]

The food's not bad, either.

[ Just how many uncles does Mion have, anyway? That's a thought he's pretty certain he's had at least a few times. Still, there are worse things than having a family with lots of connections. Especially if those connections result in some delicious food.

He nods, figuring that a restaurant is as good a date spot as any other. He wouldn't mind going to a restaurant with her even if they weren't pretending to be dating. Come to think of it, this whole exercise does seem like a rather good excuse to get to spend time with her alone, something he realizes he hasn't had much of a chance to do. ]

I see. Did you wanna ride our bikes there, or did you have something else in mind?

[ The weather's actually pretty nice for the summer, but walking would take them about twice as long to get there. Of course, there's always the possibility that the bus is running today. It's strange how he's walked by that bus stop every day, yet he's only rarely actually stepped on the bus itself.

Now that he's thinking about it, maybe they should be riding a tandem bicycle. That would really sell the illusion that they're dating, and... it kind of seems fun. Sharing something like that with Mion really doesn't sound bad at all... ]

[ Mion hadn't really given much thought to the details, just the general gist of the plan: go on a "date" at one of her uncles' restaurants, be spotted by townsfolk and family, and rinse and repeat until the rumors reach her grandmother. Everything else, including how they were going to get to Okinomiya, was something she could fill in later. Of course, now that they're actually going on the "date" and he's asking, she can't keep putting it off.

She rode her bike over to his house in the first place, so biking there is definitely an option. But would walking together be more romantic? Then again... it's not like anyone's going to see them on their way there, so she should probably prioritize speed over potential optics for now. It's not like they couldn't bike together if they were dating, after all. ]

Yeah, let's bike there. It'd take too long to walk, after all.

[ Not that they really have any sort of time constraint... this is one of the more causal restaurants her family owns, so rather than make a reservation, she's just planning to walk in for seating. And closing hours are a while off yet. The plan for a romantic dinner should still be a go, even if they take their sweet time getting there. ]

[ For someone who's as bad at studying as she is, Mion sure is dependable and capable of thinking ahead. Keiichi probably wouldn't have thought to bring his bike in this situation if he were in her shoes, but she seems raring to go. And a nice, leisurely bike ride is lots of fun, too. They can easily race each other or find some other way to pass the time.

Hell, if being her fake boyfriend for a while means they get to spend lots of time together, that's not a bad thing. She's probably out of his league, though. He's just one of the only guys her age she knows, and undoubtedly the one she's the closest with. ]

Yeah, that's a good idea. You know, we've never gone to Okinomiya by ourselves, have we? Maybe this is a long time overdue!

[ Now that he thinks of it, he hasn't spent much time alone with Mion whatsoever. That feels weird, considering that she's his best friend. He's had time alone with Rena at the garbage heap, Shion when she walked him around Okinomiya to show him around, and even Satoko and Rika-chan at times, yet he's rarely ever been alone with the person he regards as his best companion.

Why is that, he wonders? Oh, well. Time to make up for lost time, especially if it means saving her from an arranged marriage to some slug. ]

[ In all fairness, she spends most of her time in Hinamizawa for obvious reasons. She really only goes to Okinomiya for her job, for covering her sister's job, for visiting her parents, or for club events. So it's not all that surprising that she's never been alone with Kei-chan in Okinomiya before... most of their time together has been in the town they both live in.

Of course, the fact that they tend to only be together when the rest of the club is around is an entirely different bag of worms. Even now, when she has the excuse of playing up the fake-girlfriend role if he catches a glimpse of her true feelings, she still kind of wishes Rena or Shion were around as a buffer. Too bad nobody'd buy it if they had a friend third-wheeling. ]

That's probably because you spend all your time there at Angel Mort.

[ Kei-chan is a pervert at heart, after all. That's why he goes to Angel Mort to ogle girls instead of hanging out with her while she's working. It's not something she can be mad about; he's just being a teenage boy. ]

Which isn't where we're going, by the way, so don't get your hopes up!

[ There are guys dense enough to take girls there on dates - she's heard some of the stories - but it definitely doesn't work if she wants people to think they're serious. Plus, nobody goes to Angel Mort for the food, even if their desserts aren't too bad. ]

[ Honestly, he'd feel pretty weird if they did go to Angel Mort for a date. Unless Mion happened to be covering a shift for Shion, in which case, he wouldn't say no. That uniform does look pretty good on her, come to think of it, and at the very least, he could make sure none of the other customers got any funny ideas.

Of course, it's a little strange that his mind goes right to the idea of protecting her. Isn't she the one who's good at martial arts? If anything, she'd be the one protecting him if there was actually a fight. Probably yet another good reason why they're not going to Angel Mort, then. ]

Hey, I also go to the grocery store and the library. Don't you think you could spend a little more time at the library yourself?

[ He won't get on her too much about preparing for her entrance exams since they're supposed to be on a date, but he can't help but poke at her a little bit as a retort. ]

But anyway, I'm not really in the mood for desserts right now. To be honest, I think the best kind of date is just one where I can spend time with you, no matter what we're doing.

[ He says that earnestly as he pushes his bike along the path alongside her, thinking nothing of it. That's not weird, right? They've already established that this is just a fake date to throw her family off of her trail. So, therefore, there's absolutely no harm in talking about what a real date with her would be like. ]

[ she tries not to think anything of it. he probably means a generic you - her in the context of this fake date, but any girl in terms of a real date in the future. just because it makes a slight blush rise to her cheeks doesn't mean it actually means anything. she's not that naive.

but his teasing about the library - that, she knows how to handle. ]

Why should I? It's not like it really matters all that much.

[ can she rely on her family's wealth and influence to get into a decent school? probably. so she hasn't worried too much about it until now. ]

Anyway, the point of this "date" is to be seen being all lovey-dovey, so the library would've been a terrible fit.

[ because yeah, it's secluded enough that they could pretend to canoodle and have that excuse... but there'd be no guarantee of being caught. and she's not sure she's willing to go that far with kei-chan just to get her family off her back, anyway. it wouldn't be fair to him. ]

[ he lets her off the hook this time about the library, but he'll come back to the subject later, he's sure. for now, he needs to focus on the date ahead. he knows it's a fake date and that they're just doing it so that she can get her family off of her back, but... it wouldn't really be that bad to go on a real date with her, would it?

and come to think of it, they always got so embarrassed when someone assumed they were an item in the first place, and that was when they weren't doing anything differently. maybe they don't have to try so hard to convince everyone... maybe they just act casually. ]

Yeah, I think it'd be one thing if you were taking your studying seriously...

[ he sighs to himself. it'd be fun to go to school together with her, he thinks, but if she doesn't shape up a little bit, even with her family's money, she won't last in an environment like that. he really needs to help her at least learn how to fake being a good student at some point. but he doesn't give her a chance to retort before he moves on. ]

Hey, Mion. Why don't you have a boyfriend, anyway? A girl like you could probably have her pick of any guy she wants.

[ he says that rather casually, yet with a slight reservation to his tone. that's because it's something he couldn't have asked her before without it being weird, and now, he has a reason to ask it. or maybe just an excuse. ]

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What if we were together? j/k, j/k...unless-

keiichi maebara | higurashi no naku koro ni | m/f

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