where did you come from, baby dear?

[blacklisle]

accidental child acquisition meme

For all your "whoops I guess I have a kid now?" needs. Did you always want to be a parent? Did you swear you'd never ever be a parent? Doesn't matter now.

Possible scenarios include, but are not limited to:

• Left on your doorstep with a tearjerking note
• Wandering around unsupervised
• Entrusted to you by a friend/stranger/enemy
• Has apparently adopted YOU
• Product of your past indiscretions
• Product of your PARENTS' past indiscretions
• Summoned from another dimension
• Rescued from a mad scientist's lab

The kid in question can be whatever character tags yours, or you can enlist that character to help you wrangle your new NPC rugrat. Suit yourselves. Have fun!

Comments

[nocturnumque]

Aahhh..

[Noctis's voice is just as nervy as the cooing of the squishy little human bean in his arms. He's practically paralyzed, sitting on the bed while his eyes dart between the tasks of watching Prompto and keeping an eye on this unnamed child. He's never really held anything so fragile before, not one that he actually cared about the outcome of.

But of course Ignis and Gladio would leave something like this up to them. In some ways Noctis isn't mad, because, well. He sure wouldn't know what to get. What do babies eat? How much of it? Why are there so many different brands? He's never even had to look in any baby sections of any stores before.

This is all new and foreign and terrifying. Gladio'd even barked at him over not knowing how to hold a baby right and fixed it, and Noctis still feels like he's doing it wrong.]

Are you sure you don't want to hold 'er? I. I think she's gonna cry, or something,

[He mutters, giving an unsure glance at the baby's equally unsure face, her lips stretched into a downward arc but at least, so far, no sign of wailing.]

[photoshooter]

What, so you wanna pass her off to me? Right before the waterworks? Dude!

[Prompto also sounds anxious--well, when doesn't he? Prompto sounds more anxious than usual, though, hunched over in his chair with his elbows planted solidly on his knees, like he has to physically push his legs down to keep from jittering right out of his seat. Even then, both toes of his boots are still taptaptapping against the floor at a rapid pace. Meanwhile, he clutches his phone in both hands, Moogling babysitting tips like his life depends on it. It feels like it is.]

Awwww, if she were just a little older, I'd totally know how to do this. I mean, I'm great with Talcott, right?

[He looks up to confirm it, but nods to himself and squints back down at his screen without waiting for an answer.]

But, like--you can't teach a baby how to play darts. You can't even talk to one! How are we supposed to entertain her if all she hears us say is "goobledy gobby boo boo boo!"?

[nocturnumque]

How old do you think Talcott is?

[Noctis asks with a breath of a laugh. A 'little' older, as if he were three. It's probably a good thing Noctis can't exactly sit still himself right now, bouncing the infant gently in attempts to hold off that crying spell a bit longer. She just stares at him, though, as if expecting him to explain what all has gone wrong (or perhaps that's all he can imagine she wants to know) and Noctis has to look away.]

I don't know. I couldn't even tell how old she is.

[Bouncebouncebounce. Noctis adjusts the swaddling she's wrapped in, and the baby stares at his (freshly washed, as per Ignis's instruction) hand.]

Man, I don't know anything about babies.

[As if it has Literally Just occurred to him.]