bakerstreet | The "Be Careful What You Wish For" Meme

Then he wasted a lot of make out time.

Jerk.

So in like a minute?

Well sadly Monroe doesn't know that. It would have been nice if Nick had said any of that. Instead of running away and getting mad at him for doing nothing. And Monroe likes that idea better than his, but he's not buying that it'll actually happen. Nick's head isn't on right.

Good job catching onto the 'thought' part. That was the key part. He really wished Nick would open the door. At least he sounds better. Less angry and hurt. He'll take confused over those any day. "Nick, Juliette dumped you. I didn't. We've never dated."

Believe him?

Oh that. Yeah, he did. Stupid make out time waster.

Stubborn.

Yeah pretty much.

Sorry, next time Monroe casually informs Nick that he got dumped, Nick'll stop to explain why that upsets him before going off to be upset in another room. And Monroe better start buying it, because it's the truth.

Nick's starting to feel a little silly, talking about this through a closed door. Especially since anger and hurt have almost entirely faded into confusion. He unlocks the door, opening it to lean in the doorway, brows furrowed. "Who's Juliette? And what - that can't be right. There's no way we weren't dating."

He's the real idiot. Damn. Maybe that's why he keeps trying to get Nick to believe that.

Jerk.

Finally!

Oh finally the door is open, and he knows the relief is showing on his face.

"You're girlfriend. Well your ex girlfriend, since the whole dumping thing." Right not mentioning that again. "You guys were together for years. We've never dated man." He really wishes they had though. That doesn't count though.

Quit projecting the idiot-ness, Monroe!

Nick feels guilty at seeing Monroe's obvious relief. He hadn't meant to worry him. Well, actually, he hadn't particularly cared about worrying Monroe at the time, but that was before Nick realized he'd apparently gotten the situation wrong.

He frowns at that, tracking back through everything he'd observed and taken note of and all of their conversations. "Then why do we treat each other like we're dating?"

His bad? He needs some therapy to deal with his issues. If he and Nick get together can he be on Nick health insurance? Self employment doesn't come with very good health care. Well it doesn't come with any and the shit he bought doesn't cover mental health.

Thanks for that dude. Monroe is nice enough to help Nick out with all this and all he gets in return is Nick getting mad at him and locking him out of his bedroom. He is going to give his Nick so much shit for this. Right now he's just worried about Nick doing something like this again.

"We don't treat each other like we're dating." Yes he's denying that instantly. Nick probably been basing his behavior off of Monroe's. So he's really fucked up. Now his Nick is going to know how he feels about him. Oh shit.

Yeah, man, Monroe can absolutely get on Nick's health insurance. Or Nick can sneak him in to see the police psychologist. Nick's seen her often enough.

Sorry? Nick was just confused, okay. It's not his fault he thought they were dating, it's a reasonable assumption.

Nick just looks at him for a long moment. "I called you at one am to come get me in a bar after I'd been drinking with my friends, and you picked me up and brought me here, and told me the reason I wasn't in your bed was because you didn't want me throwing up in it. You make me coffee and breakfast in the morning, you know how I like my coffee and my eggs, you take care of me when you think I'm hung over, you're the person I call and talk to the most, and you get concerned when I'm not eating properly and threaten to make sure I'm taking care of myself. I have a key to your house and half a drawer full of clothes, not to mention an extra toothbrush in the bathroom."

He realizes he's been talking kind of a lot, so he stops there. "And that's just the actual things I saw, I didn't even go in to the way we act around each other, or the way we look at each other."

Couples therapy through the police department?

No it's not! Ok yes it is but only to everyone that isn't them.

That's a long long list. And it's pretty damning. So Monroe does some fast thinking to try and explain. And by fast thinking he's really just saying aloud the excuses he's been saying to himself for awhile. "That what friends do. It's not like you could call your girlfriend to pick you up. And I the not throwing up in my bed was sarcasm. And the rest of that is because of Grimm work."

Look at all the holes in that story. It's got more holes than Swiss cheese.

"The way we act around each other?" Oh shit. What has Nick seen?!?

Nah, they don't need couples therapy. They can figure it out on their own.

Technically, Nick isn't them right now.

Yeah, it's very damning. Damning enough that Nick really isn't going to buy any excuse Monroe can come up with. "Right, I'm sure I do all of that with all of my friends. I must have a hell of a lot of clothes and a ton of people who know how I like my breakfast."

Nick's noticed those holes, Monroe. He's going to poke at them.

"Yeah. We have zero personal space, way too little for this to be purely platonic. The responses you expected from me, when you thought I had my memories, none of that was platonic. The way I looked at you, the way I kept touching you, and you treated that as normal, also not platonic. And you don't look at me like you'd look as someone you just see as a friend. I wouldn't have noticed it if I wasn't studying you really closely, but it's there."

Then Nick can't be mad when he does stupid shit. And nuzzles fix all fights right?

Damn.

Oh great. He is so screwed. How is he supposed to get Nick to believe him? Hand puppets? "No, but- The clothes are because of the Grimm work. And I just paid enough attention to how you like your breakfast because-" He loves him. "you pass out on my couch often enough after a case."

Damn. Quit poking at his holes.

So Monroe has been ridiculously obvious. And now Nick knows how he feels. There is no way he can deny that. And all of the is just evidence of how he feels about Nick. Not anything about how Nick with his memories feels about him. "I need to check on lunch."

He turns around and heads back down the stairs.

He can be mad! But he can also forgive him quickly. And yes, they do! Nuzzles time?

Monroe could be screwed, if he wanted. But Nick will probably believe him if he insists long enough. Even though he's still skeptical after that, raising an eyebrow at Monroe. "Those sound a hell of a lot like excuses."

No. Nick likes poking at his holes.

And now Nick is confused. What did he do? Was he that wrong, and Monroe is mad at him for even thinking there could ever be anything between them? No, that can't be right. All of the actual facts aside, there's no mistaking the way Monroe acts around him, the way Monroe looks at him. And there's also no mistaking the way Nick acts around Monroe - obviously, given his stupid crush.

But Monroe'd been honestly surprised. And concerned. And - maybe Nick had misjudged, the actual officialness of their relationship. But he knows he hadn't misjudged the feelings behind it.

After a long few moments, Nick follows Monroe down, stepping hesitantly into the kitchen.

"We weren't dating," he says quietly, leaning in the doorway.

Damn, he thought he found a free pass. Oh well, Nick forgiving him for whatever he does is good enough. And why is the assumption that Monroe will be doing things to make Nick mad? Nick's the aggravating one that wake him up early in the morning and middle of the night then doesn't finish he breakfast. Oh right because Monroe can't actually get mad at Nick. And Monroe wishes it was nuzzle time.

Wanting to isn't the problem. Other things are. Monroe shifts his gaze past Nick and into his bedroom. His room is going to smell like Nick now. Great. He won't be thinking about that for the next month or so. He's going to have no peace from Nick now. The one place he didn't have to smell Nick was in his room. Now even that's gone. "Even without your memories you're still a detective."

Pervert.

Sorry, man. And what's wrong is that Nick basically called him out on being in love with him when Nick can't possibly return those feelings. Even if he did think they were dating. What worse is that Nick is pretty much right. It does look like they're dating. Just without the benefits. Well the benefits not counting having someone to talk to, ask him about his day, and to keep him from feeling lonely anymore. He could live with just those. Now he has to worry about how Nick will act when he gets his memories back. Please don't run away.

He can misjudge the feelings behind it. Nick's feelings. He's dead on with Monroe's.

Monroe busies himself with their lunch. He pulls the Bread out of the oven. Tosses the half made salad. Who cares if it's mostly lettuce and only a few kinds of vegetables? Right now he is just trying not to focus on Nick coming down the stairs. He doesn't look up when Nick comes in or speaks.

"No we weren't." Why does he sound sad about that? He was trying to sound like he was just stating the facts. There is no sadness there. Damn it Monroe stop thinking about how much he wishes Nick was right, and he was wrong.

Is it too much to hope that's the end of the conversation about how they're not dating.

Hey, Monroe made that assumption first. Nick was just assuring Monroe that he'd forgive him quickly for whatever it was that Monroe did to make him mad. And hopefully Monroe will remember that he can't really get mad at Nick, because that's probably going to come up soon.

Those other things don't have to be a problem. Nick instinctively glances over his shoulder when Monroe looks past him and into the room, but he can't figure out what Monroe's looking at, so he turns back, and makes a try at a smile. "Apparently I can't stop it."

Yup.

But. Nick didn't mean to call him out. He was just saying what's true, what he thought was already known. And he absolutely can return those feelings, thanks. Don't tell him what he can't do. But at least Monroe agrees that it looks like they're dating, then maybe Nick won't get in too much trouble for assuming that.

No, he can't. Nick knows his own feelings, thanks.

That not looking up is a bad sign. Monroe doesn't seem mad, he just seems - upset. Nick's not sure what to do, but maybe admitting that he got the wrong impression will be a start. Of course, the sadness in Monroe's voice just confirms what Nick's thinking - maybe he should stop doing that, stop observing everything like he's gathering evidence, but he really doesn't know what else to do, with no memories to rely on.

"But we wanted to be."

Yeah, it's too much to hope for that. Sorry, Monroe.

... What is Nick planning?

He's looking at something that isn't Nick, but he feels like an idiot when Nick looks over his shoulder. He settles is gaze on Nick's chin. There, he's looking at Nick. That counts for something. Unless Nick ends up thinking he has something on his face. Monroe snorts but he's not amused. One of the things he's loved and admired about Nick is really coming back to bite him in the ass here. "No you really can't. Curse of being a detective and a Grimm."

Damn.

Nick won't be in any trouble for assuming anything. Monroe is going to be in trouble for acting like he has feelings for Nick, when he does, around an amnesic Nick.

Right now he might. Key word being might.

Nick can keep gathering evidence. He's doing a good job of it. And Nick wouldn't be Nick if he didn't. Monroe just wishes Nick had stuck with keeping it to himself.

"You don't know what you want right now, and you really can't know what you're going to want once we get your memories back." Notice he says nothing about how it isn't what he wants. Just what Nick wants. Nick please just stop. It's not alright to keep taunting Monroe with everything he wants. Especially with no guarantee that he'll still feel this way later.

He figured. His life sucks some times.

Nothing, except convincing Monroe that they both wanted to date each other.

No, Nick understands, after that. Between nothing actually being behind him and Monroe not quite meeting his eyes, Nick's got it. "I feel like I should apologize for that."

Mwahaha.

Why would Monroe be in trouble for that? He's been acting like that all day, and he hasn't gotten in trouble yet.

Remember that when Nick starts in on his next round of evidence: evidence why Nick with his memories wants to date Monroe. Because he's not going to keep that to himself, either.

"Oh, of course not. I'm completely incompetent, and I can't possibly have any idea of how I feel. I obviously must have been imagining the reaction I had every time you smiled at me, or got too close." And yes, that was a little cranky, but telling someone they don't know what they want right now is pretty much the worse thing to say.

But Nick feels bad, because he does get what Monroe's trying to say, and he sighs. "I'm not coming into this blind. Before I told you that I'd lost my memories, when I got you to believe I knew what was going on, I was making observations, about what behavior was normal for me. And the way you expected me to act towards you, to look at you, all of the things that I do with my memories? That's not how someone who only has platonic feelings acts. And I'm obviously very attracted to you, and that's not something that's going to change based on memories."

Not possible.

"You don't need to apologize for being good at your job." He tries for a slight smile and is moderately successful.

He didn't get into trouble before because Nick never paid that close of attention to how Monroe acted.

Of course Nick wouldn't keep it to himself. That would just be too easy.

"That's not what I-" He mashes the palm of his hand over his face. He knows about those reactions already. He figured that out on his own. "You're just feeling like this because I'm the only person you know."

"Maybe that's just how I wished you would act. Besides you're an affectionate person normally. You haven't seen how you act with your partner, or the other guys at the station. You're reading too much into all of that." Except that Monroe hasn't actually seen Nick and Hank interact very much. And they weren't that touchy then. But Monroe is just going to assume they do so he has a better answer. And they idiot has really confirmed how he feels. He pulls the eggplant Parmesan out of the over before it burns. It's one more thing he can mess with before he runs out of reasons why he can't look at Nick. He doubts either of them are going to be hungry after this.

Nick's going to try his best.

"I do when it makes you sad." Even though Nick can't really figure out why, exactly.

He was earlier today, and Monroe didn't get in trouble then.

Evidence must be shared with Monroe! Because Nick has a point to make.

"Maybe," Nick concedes. "Or maybe I just really like you. I wouldn't feel this way about someone who didn't help me, or joke with me, or be sarcastic at me, or smile at me the way you do, even if they were the only person I knew."

Nick raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, I have, actually. Assuming the guys I went to the bar with last night were my partner and other people at the station, I just spent over an hour watching myself interact with them. And it wasn't anything like how I am with you." Nick is pretty oblivious to how much Monroe is kicking himself over revealing that he has feelings for Nick. Possibly because it isn't a reveal for Nick, since he'd known that all day.

"And if that wasn't the way I acted normally, just how you wished I would act, you wouldn't have treated the situation like it was normal. Trust me, I was watching you really closely. Besides, you realize you just confirmed that, with my memories, the way I behave around you is the behavior of someone who wants to date you? If I was acting the way you wish I acted, and you wish I acted like I wanted to date you, but I was also acting normal enough for you not to realize I didn't have any memories..." Guess where Nick's going with that.

"It isn't making me sad." He's lying. Because he loves Nick and he can't have him. Nick's just saying all of this becasue he doesn't remember all the reasons he shouldn't want Monroe.

Yes, well this Nick is more of an idiot than normal Nick.

Nick has no points to make, and any he does are invalid because Monroe says so.

"Nick." He doesn't know what to say it that. But it doesn't matter how much sense Nick is making. The point is he's wrong. The trouble is convincing Nick of that.

"Well you were in public." He says lamely. That makes no sense, he knows it. He just wishes Nick let him have it anyway.

He sees where Nick is going with that. Nick's still wrong, but he can't point out why. Apparently Monroe should have been a donkey wesen. He's stubborn and a jackass. Change of tactics. He actually looks at Nick. He needs to make this point clear. "Nick, you don't remember anything. So you don't remember all the reasons you can't have feelings for me. The reasons you wouldn't want me."

Yes, it is. Nick's not stupid, he knows it is. But he doesn't say that, because he's been calling Monroe on a lot of stuff here, and he figures he'll give Monroe a break. Besides, Nick's expression probably says that well enough.

Hey. He is not.

Monroe says so is not a valid argument.

Nick isn't wrong, and he knows it. So he's not going to be convinced, though the way Monroe says his name does make his chest tighten a little. He doesn't really get why Monroe's fighting this so much.

And Nick just raises an eyebrow. Yeah, that makes no sense. Nick doesn't even have to say anything to let Monroe know that.

If Monroe can't point out why, then he doesn't get a say. Besides, Nick is right. He's the one with the evidence. The entirely correct evidence. Nick's encouraged when Monroe actually looks at him, though it fades at what Monroe has to say. "Why, because I'm a Grimm and you're a Blutbad? If it doesn't bother me now, I doubt it'd bother me when I actually have more memories of you. And, again, I wouldn't behave the way I do around you if I didn't want you. Because I do. Want you."

The look is almost worse than words. It's just Nick looking at him with those eyes making it clear Nick knows he's lying. It makes him want to say something, he's not sure what. Either to admit he's lying, or try and defend it. Instead he ducks his head away. He breaks off a piece of the fresh bread and holds it out to Nick without looking at his face.

So no contesting the idiot part at all?

Yes it is.

He's fighting this because one of them needs to put a stop to this, and it looks like Nick can't be bothered.

And Nick answers him with a look again. Great, but he knows he was wrong. "Ok, so maybe it wasn't because you were in public."

"That's part of it, yeah. But you're a homicide detective, and I've killed people. I have to stay in control or I'll turn back into that. You're a good person. I'm not. You can do better than a neurotic hermit." And does he have to say he wants him? "We can't. I-"

No he's not saying anything else. He isn't going to tell Nick that he needs him and he can't lose Nick. Especially for one or a few nights. It's not enough.

Nick feels bad, at that. He hadn't meant to make Monroe feel worse. He was trying to let it go. "Sorry," Nick says quietly, even though he's not really sure what he's apologizing for. For making Monroe sad, or uncomfortable. He takes the bread, letting his fingers brush against Monroe's.

...no, he is a little bit of an idiot.

No it isn't, man.

It's not that Nick can't be bothered. It's that he doesn't understand why they have to put a stop to this.

"So it's just you, that I act that way around." Yeah, Monroe is wrong.

"I already figured that part out. Both of those. And I'd like to point out that none of that matters to me when I have all my memories, because I still act like I want to date you. Pretty sure someone who's not a good person wouldn't have come to pick me up at one am, or let me sleep on his couch, or made me coffee and breakfast in the morning, or spent all day trying to get my memories back."

"What can't we?" Nick asks, taking a hesitant few steps in the kitchen. "I'm not asking you to jump in bed with me or anything. I'm just asking you to believe in the possibility that the way I feel about you is real, that I feel something similar with my memories. I just-" He cuts off, looking away, then looks back at Monroe, eyes earnest. "I just don't want to constantly be forcing myself to not sit close to you or take your hand, when I know we both want it."

Monroe lets his fingers linger. He likes it when Nick does this normally. He doesn't want to stop it. Looks like Nick was right about that touching thing. They do this a lot, but it doesn't mean anything. He's sticking with that. "Eat your food."

Glad to hear it.

Who is the wesen expert? Monroe. Out of the two of him he's the expert on inter species dating.

Because Monroe said so.

"I never see you interact with other people." Dodging the question, but yes. It's just Monroe, and even if he doesn't normally see it he has to admit to himself that maybe Nick only acts like this with him. But it's just because Monroe is the only one Nick can talk to about anything and wesen stuff.

"That doesn't make me a good person. I'm not altruistic. I'm getting something out of that." Dodging again.

"But what if you're wrong? I can't go back to being alone." Fine he said it. You happy Nick? He's scared of having to spend the rest of his life alone again. Then Nick gives him that look. Those damn eyes that make him want to do whatever Nick wants because it makes him happy, or because Nick needs him. He drops his eyes to the floor. He can't turn Nick down while looking at him. He takes a self steadying breath before speaking. "You can't promise won't change things after we get you back."

Nick's taking that as encouragement. He's not going to call Monroe on it, or even linger longer than Monroe is, but he's going to file it away for later, evidence that maybe he can convince Monroe that this is okay. Because of course Nick was right, and it definitely means something. "I'm eating," he says, taking a bite of the bread. "This is really good."

That still doesn't mean Monroe's right. Or that Monroe said so is anywhere near a valid argument.

"Than I guess I've seen me interact with more people than you have, which would make me right." Nick sees that dodging, Monroe. Quit arguing this, man, Nick has all of the points.

"Not being entirely altruistic doesn't make you a bad person. Technically, everyone gets something out of the good things they do, even if it's only good feelings for doing something good, or making up for doing not so good in the past." And hey, Nick gets paid for the saving people he does.

"No. I can't," Nick says quietly. "But if something was going to make things change after I get my memories back, it's already happened. I've thought we were dating all day, and I've been acting like it." Which is kind of embarrassing now, and he glances away briefly as he admits, "I'm not sure I can stop."

Then he moves closer into Monroe's personal space, looking back up at him earnestly, because if nothing else, it's important that Monroe know this. "I'm not wrong. But I already know myself, and you, well enough to know that I would never leave you alone."

That was encouragement but if asked he'll say it wasn't. Nick pretty much always ends up being right. Even when he's making guesses about Wesen he somehow figures it out without Monroe explaining everything. Monroe smiles slightly but doesn't respond to the compliment otherwise.

Yes it does.

"It doesn't matter who's right." Meaning Nick is right. Plus he's not ever sure what the point was anymore. Other than Monroe has no ground to stand on but keeps refusing that they can be together.

"Do you just sit at home coming up with arguments to use against me?" Because he's losing and he's being a little cranky about it. Why does Nick have to make sense when Monroe just wants to stop all of this.

"Dude, that is the last change I'm worried about." Idiot. If the only change is Nick actually wants him when he gets his memories back then this whole thing gets counted as a win.

"How can you be sure? You've only known me for a few hours." Have a good answer to that. Nick's recent track record or demolishing Monroe's points combined with that earnest look is starting to work on him.

Good thing Nick isn't going to ask, then. He's just going to assume he's right, because he usually is. And because he wants it to be encouragement, he wants this. Nick smiles back when Monroe smiles, encouraged even more. And feeling the familiar quick jump in his pulse, which he's actually kind of glad for. It means Monroe's smiling again.

Lies.

More lies. It does matter who's right, but since Nick knows that means Monroe's conceding the point, whatever it was, he won't say that.

"No?" He's pretty sure he doesn't, anyway. "I sincerely doubt I ever would have prepared for having to argue this specific situation, anyway. I'm not trying to use anything against you, I'm just telling you what I know."

"I didn't mean that." He'd meant that if Monroe was worried about Nick being awkward around him when he got memories back or something, then what would make Nick awkward around him had already happened. Continuing to behave like they were dating wouldn't make it any worse. But it occurs to Nick that he doesn't want to say that, doesn't want to in any way imply that that's a possibility. "I just meant, I've been treating you like we're dating almost since I woke up. If you really want me to stop, I'll try, but I'm not sure if I can. And it's really going to suck."

Nick steps completely up into Monroe's personal space now, reaching out to rest his fingertips on the back of Monroe's hand. "The same way I knew I could trust you after only talking to you for twenty minutes. Besides that, if the way I act around you and the number of times I call you is any indication, I'm pretty sure I couldn't actually make it without you."

And it's that damn heart beat again. All of this is Nick's pulse's fault. If it would have just stayed steady then none of this would have happened. They'd just be watching the surveillance videos eating lunch. Not standing around his kitchen awkwardly. And that damn smile Nick gives him is threatening to get him to smile again. The corners of his mouth perk up but it's not much more of a smile than that. He doesn't need the heart beat reminder. He needs to think about something else.

Not lies. Completely valid.

Phew. Finally, Nick's letting something go. But that just means Monroe is losing.

"Yeah I know, it just-" He doesn't know anymore. Nick has good points and Monroe is have trouble remembering his own points were. Other than they shouldn't even talk about this until Nick has his memories back.

"I don't want you to stop. Other than the heart racing thing you've been acting pretty normal. And I don't want things to get awkward. Now or after you get your memories back." He doesn't know what he wants right now. He'd love for him and Nick to curl up on the couch together snuggling but that would make things weird when Nick gets his memories back. Problem is Nick is right and if they try to act differently it'll make things awkward afterward too. He just doesn't know which one will make things even more awkward after. And which one will make it so awkward that their friendship is ruined and Nick slowly stops showing up for no reasons. Then Nick'll just call him, instead of coming over when he needs his Grimmopedia

And then Nick is even closer to him. And he's touching him. Monroe doesn't move. He wants to reach out to him, but that's not any different from the hundreds of other times Nick has been close to him. Nick is always too close. Or not enough. He's not sure anymore. Monroe drops his head a little in defeat. What is it with Nick and trusting him so quickly? He probably shouldn't have dropped his head because now his face is closer to Nick's. He snorts "You're not hopeless anymore. At this point you just need me to tell you what type of Wesen it is."

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