isn't that right, darling?

[blacklisle]

The Fake Relationship Meme

You're not together. But you need to make people think you are. Because of reasons.

Maybe you secretly can't stand each other. Maybe you like each other, just not like that. (Or do you?) Maybe this is the only way you'll ever get to be with your crush. Maybe you just need to give off that couple vibe in public, or maybe you're going to be forced to engage in some hot'n'heavy fakeout makeouts. For reasons, okay?

You know the drill. Post, tag, profit.

1. Home For The Holidays ⇢ You need to prove to your parents that you do so have a significant other. Just until they're gone.
2. No Singles Need Apply ⇢ The place is perfect, but the landlady will only rent it to a nice, respectable couple.
3. It's Not Safe For A (Wo)man Alone ⇢ One of you is vulnerable in this big, bad world without a partner to protect you.
4. Public Relations ⇢ There's only one way to stop these pesky rumors: start your own.
5. Undercover Mission ⇢ They'll never suspect a couple of lovey-dovey honeymooners of... whatever it is you're actually up to.
6. Marriage Of Convenience ⇢ It's good for both your families. Or your finances. Or your hetero street cred. Whatever: might as well make the best of it.
7. Well That Escalated Quickly ⇢ It's common knowledge that you're together, except you're the last to know. Is it worth correcting people?
8. Free Space ⇢ Bring your own bottle scenario.

Comments

no worries

[venomnomnom]

[It's Venom that tells him that she's there before she knocks. His partner seems to be very aware of her and her proximity. It's a little weird, but hey, maybe gooey black tar symbiotes have crushes?

He answers the door, dressed in slacks and a button up shirt. Hey, he'd even found a jacket to go with it, and a tie. He and Venom had had a long debate over why they had to wear a noose.]

Look who cleans up nice. You wanna come in first, or we on our way?

[metempsychics]

[She holds onto her clutch before giving him a smile. She’s not used to positive attention— except from Scott. But it’s nice.]

I should be saying that to you.

[Another quick smile.] I have a car waiting.

[Not like they can’t wait a little longer if she told them to, but Jean going rogue still tried to the right thing and only minorly bent the rules.]

[venomnomnom]

Thanks. It's amazing what a shower and a good cup of coffee will do. C'mon. The sooner we figure out what's going on with this stuff, the quicker I can get outta this thing.

[He tugged at the tie, shaking his head.]

[metempsychics]

You look good, [She gives him an offhand compliment, but a genuine smile follows before she's turning and heading down his apartment. Her heels clack lightly down the steps themselves before she's in the car and moving over for him.]

[venomnomnom]

She is impressed. Perhaps you can practice your mating skills this evening as well.

Perhaps you should shut up, that ain't happening.

Why not? She would be a formidable mate.

That's not how this works... just... quiet.

[He locks up behind them, moving to follow her to the car.]

Thanks. Sorry, he's... I can't take him anywhere.

Nonsense. You have to take me everywhere.

[Eddie sighed and shook his head as he slid into the seat next to her.]

So, what's the game plan, Red? You want to snoop while I distract, or should we both look for an opening to put our noses where they don't want us to?

[metempsychics]

You need to practice? [She shouldn’t entertain Venom, but it’s hard not to listen to them banter. She sits beside him, lifting her chin to look up at him with a small, playful smirk before they’re on their way to the venue.]

It could be either. You’re a pretty well known person. That could either help get us where we need to be or draw more attention. I think we should feel the room.

[venomnomnom]

What?

[Crap.]

No, no. He wants to practice, or figure out how 'earth people do it', but the problem is that he has to use my body for it and I'm not into some of the, ah, suggestions he makes.

[Elephants had intrigued Venom. Eddie was terrified. They'd had to have a very in depth conversation about what species could and could not play with humans. It essentially boiled down to 'humans and metahumans that had all the same parts'. Venom was still pushing for experimenting. Venom could suck his dick- no, wait. That might give him ideas.]

Feel the room? What are you an- ah. Wait. Never mind. Right. Well, I never did well with the whole feely thing. I get what I get by just sort of... barreling in or finding an opening.

[metempsychics]

[Jean wants to question that, but she’s learned not to go down that whole. It appears male symbiotes are similar to men (though far more unrestrained in general). Jean’s suddenly glad that what’s inside her doesn’t communicate the same way. It just seems to exist, though it likes to flex its power more often than Jean would like. It’s still taking used to.]

Good thing you have me then. Maybe we won’t get kicked out.

[venomnomnom]

[Men were men, no matter the species. Venom apparently took interest in some of the things Eddie couldn't control about his own body. Especially that part and how it made him feel. Eddie has, so far, been reluctant to partake of any extracurricular activities since 'hey, I have a talking parasite' wasn't something he wanted to divulge to a party while it was also one he thought he'd have to. That and he doubted Venom would stay where he was during. God, what a mess. So far, he hadn't had to deal with it.

So far.]

Oh, I'm sure we will at some point. Just a matter of when.

[metempsychics]

You might be surprised at what I can do then.

[They would make a good team, she thinks. He knows what he’s doing, and she needs that kind of experience. Jean has the capability of making sure they don’t get stopped.

The car pulls into the vallet and stops right at the path that heads into this lavish, mansion style place. It’s certainly meant to make a statement. They just need to get into the right rooms. Looking up through the car window, she waits for Eddie to get out first.]

[venomnomnom]

[Eddie gets out, straightening his jacket, then holding out a hand to help her from the car.]

Almost sounds like an offer, Red. One I'd be tempted to take up on another night. C'mon. Let's go snoop.

[metempsychics]

[She takes his hand and steps out. It’s like a scene out of a movie. She’s been to press releases and the occasional event that the Professor has thrown, but this feels different. It’s a glamor she’s not used to. It’s hard not to get caught up in it for a moment— this is a first for her. But after a moment, she takes his hand and heads out.

Eddie has the press badge and so far it makes them look at him, not her. It’s as exactly as planned. Once in the main room, she scans the room herself. Leaning in, Jean quietly points out the doctors and specialists she believes are involved.]

Do you feel like schmoozing out here?

[venomnomnom]

Normally, I'd feel like warning a date that they need to be on guard at these events. But right now, I just feel kinda bad that you might be able to know what those predatory looks you're getting are really thinking. Just so you know, I wouldn't judge if you wanted to give 'em a few headaches.

[He'd hated that when he'd taken Anne to a few events, even though she'd been capable of handling herself.]

Or we could eat their heads entirely

No, there'll be no eating of heads. C'mon, man. Let's schmooze. Schmooze away.

[metempsychics]

[‘It’s better than them fearing me,’ she thinks to herself and is glad neither Eddie nor Venom can hear her. Eddie is probably only the third person that knows what she can do (to some extent) and isn’t afraid of her. It probably helps that he’s been through similar things with Venom.

Her arm loops through his as they move through the room. She keeps her head up, but she doesn’t say much. She’s just trying to blend in and hope no one notices her. It helps that she doesn’t have a big X across her chest.

Eventually they manage to get to the end, and she has a barely touched glass of wine in hand. She places it on the table before looking at him and then the back hall. There’s no one down it now, and she can make sure no one wants to head that way.]

C’mon, I think it’s a good time.

[venomnomnom]

[He's used to sneaking around on his own, but at a gig like this, it was probably a good idea for them to sneak off together. Particularly if they wanted to try to lessen the chance of anything happening. It was easier to pass off 'couple looking for a place to be naughty' if they wanted to.

He moves to start tugging her as if he's being playful, just in case someone was peeking their way. He hoped she picked up that intention and could play along with it.]

Yes, ma'am. You pick up where any activity's going on?

[metempsychics]

[She manages to not flinch when he touches her, knowing it’s for the rouse. Jean can play along, looping her arm in his. It’s been awhile since anyone has touched her, and for a moment she feels a pang of guilt for Scott. She has to tell herself it’s better this way.

Once in the hall she nods and heads down it.]

They use this place as a sort of museum for all the work they’re doing off site. The director’s office is in the back.

[Suddenly she can feel the kitchen staff coming. It’s better to press herself against him before telling the waiter he doesn’t seem them. He continues down the hall like the two of them aren’t even there.]

[venomnomnom]

[There was a surprised flicker across his face when he was suddenly against the wall, but he heard a voice in his head telling him that there was someone coming. Venom's voice was familiar by now and didn't have him freaking out anymore. Thank god.

He looked off to the side, since she was suddenly very close and yes, he was aware that she was attractive and apparently had curves in places that fit nicely against his and-]

We should invite her for a victory mating after this is done.

[His face turned red as he thought violently aggressive thoughts at the symbiote inside him that no, they were not going to be victory mating with anyone.]

Coast clear?

[Ignore the internal argument, Jean.]

[metempsychics]

[She’s become very aware of how well she fits next to him. He’s broader and taller than her, and she feels like she’s just noticed parts of him she hasn’t, yet. It’s hard to not turn a little red when she hears the two of them talking. Without saying a word, she lets Venom know psychically that she can hear him.

Flicking back a piece of hair, she gives Eddie one of those awkward smiles before stepping back and angling her head for them to continue.]

No one’s in his office. [They turn down another hall and are almost stopped by a door that has a key code on it. Her hand outstretches before a soft red orange glow appears. It helps when you can manipulate any matter to bend to your will.]

[venomnomnom]

[Eddie isn't aware of that little notification, but he's very aware of Venom's reply.

We would be honored to partake of a human mating with you.]

You really need to just shut the hell up with the whole mating thing, buddy. Jesus.

[He had a feeling he was going to have to have a lengthier talk later on that night with Venom. Or maybe rub one out and get him off his back.

But back to the task at hand. She did something that he certainly couldn't do, and there was a quiet click as the door unlocked. He darted a glance around, then opened the door and ushered her through it.]

In, in.

[metempsychics]

It’s— it’s fine. [She’s flustered of course, a little flattered. It’s just not something she’s used to. She only ever got attention for what she could do. People were in awe or feared her, never attracted to her. Other than Scott.

Jean just doesn’t want Eddie to think she thinks less of him for it when it’s Venom who clearly doesn’t understand human courting.

But she heads through down another smaller hall. There are less rooms back here, and she’s scanning the doors quickly. They won’t have a lot of time likely. Her breaking and entering shouldn’t have caused anything to go off, but it’s not like her mutation is in technological telepathy. So once she gets to the right door, she’s opening it up and immediately going to the desk.]

Try and find any information on camps. There’s on in El Paso that’s confirmed already, but we need locations and names.

[venomnomnom]

[Considering that he was aware she could probably turn him into a drooling zombie, the last thing he wanted to do was offend her or piss her off. Well, not without intent, anyway. Venom hamhandedly trying to get them both laid was going to wind up getting them both killed, and he was trying to make sure that the symbiote understood that.

That and that you just don't run around asking women to mate with you. They weren't birds or dogs in heat. No meant no. At least the symbiote got that part.

He shook his head and muttered threats mentally to his partner while he moved over to a bookshelf, looking for any signs of a safe or hidden cache that might lead to something a bunch of bad guys would want to hide that might not be so obvious as a file in a desk. Which might be there anyway. Who knows?]

El Paso? Color me not surprised. Wouldn't be surprised if most of the border towns had locations. Easy to hide them under immigration facilities. Like those places aren't shady enough.

[metempsychics]

[Jean certainly could do a lot, but she liked Eddie. He’s unconventional, but he’s never pushed too much or feared her. They had an unsaid understanding of each other, and she didn’t feel so alone, both as someone carrying around something powerful inside of her and having only been in this city for a few weeks now.

She’s looking through the calendar, going over notes. The laptop is gone so that’s a bust, but there has to be a list of doctors or facilities around here somewhere. She tries the drawer.]

That’s what some of the underground is saying. They throw them up wherever they can.

[venomnomnom]

I mean, if you look at it, immigration detention centers are probably their best bets. Lots of traffic moving in and out, basically zero accountability, media blackouts... I mean, call me crazy, but if I were some evil mastermind looking for a place to do illegal experimentation on mutants, that'd be a prime spot. Either in them or under one of them. They don't call it the underground for nothing, right?

[He'd been pulling on books, but a black tendril left his shoulder and snaked out to slip between the back panel and a section of the shelf. There was a quiet click, and then a portion of the shelving opened up to show a recess with folders inside.]

Hey, look at that. Jackpot.

[metempsychics]

[She stops and looks up, seeing Venom reach out and open the secret compartment. Her smile is bright as she rushes toward them to see what’s inside. It’s definitely useful having him around.]

What’s it say? [She presses into his arm to read over his shoulder, scanning for any pertinent information she can give back to the mutant underground.]

[venomnomnom]

El Paso, Candelaria, Langtry, Laredo, Falcon Mesa... there's a few border towns here. And a couple bases that they might be outfitting... Jesus. I think that's a body count. About half going out as in.