tfln

[sockslayer]

the same thing we do every week, pinky

Comments

1 (????)

[fifthbar]

hell no.

what happened? what's got you asking for help? [ And then redacting said request, which is about the most suspiciously ominous fucking thing Hank's seen all week. ]

[coinflick]

Don't worry. I've taken care of the fire on my own.

[fifthbar]

[ :||||||| ]

send me photographic evidence that you haven't burned the house down or i'm calling 911

[coinflick]

All right, I will. Just give me approximately ten minutes first.

i laughed irl

[fifthbar]

How much money did you say you’re worth, again?

I need to figure out how much they’ll be garnishing from my pay after I strangle you

🔥

[coinflick]

More than you could afford, judging by the value of your car, house, clothes, etc.

[fifthbar]

Didn’t know you got more money the more you spent it on shit you didn’t need

[ Do you even know what a savings account is, Connor. Do you.

You’re probably still too expensive for Hank to afford but that’s not the point right now. ]

[coinflick]

You also waste a lot of money on drinks.

[fifthbar]

it’s not ‘wasting’ if it does what you want it to do

unlike some other, more expensive things you can buy with money, apparently

[coinflick]

[ wow go fuck yourself. ]

You should avoid strangling me then. It would be unfortunate for you to waste money on repairs.

:)

both of these guys are just embarrassing

[fifthbar]

[ NO, U ]

you realize this started with me asking what you needed fucking help with, right?

🖕

can't take em anywhere

[coinflick]

Yes, but it did devolve into threats of physical harm three times faster than our last conversation.

[fifthbar]

yeah, but that was friendly threatening. [ ""Obviously"". ]

it's called banter. it's hyperbole.

[coinflick]

I used a smiley face.

[fifthbar]

[ ...you know what, okay, that’s— ] fair enough.

you really start a fire? or were you pulling my leg?

[coinflick]

Yes. But the situation is under control.

[ A brief pause, then another text: ]

Would you have found that humorous? [ ???? if this is what a joke is, maybe he really doesn't have a sense of humor. ]

[fifthbar]

no.

well

not in the moment

in the moment, i would have just threatened physical violence again

but maybe afterwards.

[coinflick]

[ aight, might as well give it a shot. ]

There is another fire.

[fifthbar]

[ Holy shit, Connor, you’re terrible at this. If Hank had anyone else to talk to he’d be screenshotting this moment to share.

...How far can he let this go. ]

wow, that’s some shitty luck, connor. need help?

[coinflick]

[ mmmmmmmmmfuck he didn't think about what to do after that. ]

No.

It's too late to be helped.

[ ??????? ]

[fifthbar]

[ hank's just gonna be roasting his popcorn.gif over this imaginary fire, don't mind him ]

well, i guess i'm just glad you made it out alive, then. that's the important part

[coinflick]

Most of your personal effects were destroyed.

[fifthbar]

good thing we already established that i only own cheap shit

means that if you and sumo made it, everything i care about survived

[ look, if there’s any chance at all, however slim, that hank can twist this into connor feeling bad about this awful attempt at a prank...he’s gonna go for it ]

[coinflick]

[ ]

I'm sure you're very angry.

[fifthbar]

not really. i can buy new shit.

can’t buy a new sumo

or a new you, which we covered earlier

guess i’ll just sleep at my desk for a few weeks