You are such a pain in the ass. ok...check the guy, see if he has anything on him. an ID, or a uniform...anything like that. Isn't this supposed to be your thing? Cop kid and all.
Yeah, it is, which is exactly why I'm not tampering with a possibly-dead body in the middle of freaking nowhere and making myself a potential suspect by leaving all my fingerprints everywhere!!!
[ thank fuck no one is around to hear the frankly-embarrassing noise he lets out when he nudges this potentially-dead person with the toe of his shoe. because the person is not actually dead and just some drunk homeless dude passed out in the middle of the woods in the middle of whooo the fuck knows where.
honestly, stiles is mostly just unsettled because he doesn't remember how he got wherever here is. ]
He's just drunk. And mostly useless as far as information goes.
[There are so many thing he could say right now, but he's trying to not be a total ass since Stiles is actually lost it seems. He waits patiently, and would honestly have loved to hear that noise just so he could tease him about it for...forever. ]
[ what was he doing, what was he doing. come on stiles, think. ]
Talking to Scott. I was leaving LAX practice and I was talking to Scott and he gave me this weird look and then I just
[ this is... stiles doesn't like this. ]
Everything after that is just blank. It's like I blinked really slowly and when I opened my eyes again I was standing in the middle of the woods with some not-dead guy.
[Sighing, he actually goes to retrace steps because how else is this going to work? And yes, he's trying to get a hold of Scott in the process or anyone that may have seen Stiles before this happened.
WHY. DOES. NO ONE. ANSWER. THEIR. PHONES.
He isn't a bloodhound.]
Scott really needs to just bite you and prevent this from happening again.
[ why does scott even have a phone it's not like he eVER USES IT one day stiles is going to kill him. or maybe just duct tape his phone to the side of his head jesus christ come on. ]
That sounds like a breech of consent and I'm pretty sure Scott wouldn't really be down for that, all things considered. Just saying.
Anyway, what are you doing that you don't believe you're doing?
[ because stiles is just going to start... wandering through the fucking woods i guess. bye, homeless dude. stay warm. ]
I feel like it's been a while since I've told you I hate you so: I hate you, and also screw you. Not everybody actually wants to run around sprouting awful sideburns and weird eyebrows and claws every time they get pissed off or the moon is full or someone crosses some invisible line drawn in the sand.
[ he was offered the bite, once, what feels like a long time ago now. he was offered, and he almost took it, but in the end he decided he was good being awkward, clumsy, regular stiles. he's happy being human, even if that sometimes leads to him being a little helpless. at least he makes up for it in other ways. ]
I don't need you to rescue me. [ ugh, theo. ] I just need you to find Scott.
[ because that's what he's concerned about while he's out in the middle of the woods with a gap in his memories. priorities. hashtag friendship. ]
I'm just saying, if you were a little more than human with horrible service, you wouldn't haven woken up with a dead homeless man.
You did have pants on, right?
Anyway, whatever. Being human is fine. You're doing fine. Except for right now.
You aren't moving are you? Cause that's going to really make this hard if you're going in different directions.
[He pauses a few times, catching little whiffs this way and that but eventually he smells something not so pleasant along with Stiles and heads in that direction.]
[ stiles may or may not be in the middle of aggressively thumbing out a response to that text, standing there with his head down and his shoulders hunched and the glow from his phone casting sharp, angles shadows over his face (because i've just decided it is suddenly night time, would you look at that). he may or may not be so focused on textually slaying theo raken that he doesn't hear the approach of said intended recipient until his voice is suddenly. there.
stiles may or may not jump sharply, arms flailing a little and teeth clenching as he pulls himself together. ]
[And yes, there is a slow smirk building because he definitely noticed the angry typing, the sharp lit up angles of a clearly angry human face and then, of course there was the jumping.]
And, your welcome, Princess. Let's go find your Knight. Unless you want to finish that. Looked...important.
[ stiles shoves his hands into his pockets, which means his phone disappears with them. he shrugs his shoulder, rolls his head a little as if to let out some tension built up in his neck. ]
Oh, no. It was just a scathing text about how much you suck, but look at that: you're here! No point in wasting the data when I can do it in person.
[ can we just go these woods suck. this whole thing sucks and scott sucks but like, a little bit less than everything else. ]
[ name one time anything good has happened in the woods.
anyway, stiles is mostly cooperating in that he's following, but grudgingly. guess who's looking forward to listening to theo use this whole rescue situation against him whenever it's convenient? not stiles, that's who.
except now he's suddenly trudging a little bit ahead because if he doesn't he's going to start slinging things at the back of theo's head. like... rocks, maybe. handfuls of leaves. a pine cone. forest things. ]
Holy God, yes— I woke up [ he holds his hands up, making air quotes even as he treks ahead, ] with my pants on. And my shirt and my socks and my shoes, can you please just shut up.
But he can reign it in a little. Besides...he's secretly happy to know that Stiles didn't somehow end up molested. He's also secretly counting limbs, fingers, various things to make sure everything is intact. ]
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Where are you even???
[Bad decision making?]
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Did you just completely gloss over the part where I said I don't know where I am and jump straight to murder?
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What is around you?
Yes, I went straight to the DEAD GUY part.
[FOCUS Stiles.]
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I can't get google maps to do anything useful and I barely have any signal and this dude isn't moving at all.
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ok...check the guy, see if he has anything on him.
an ID, or a uniform...anything like that.
Isn't this supposed to be your thing? Cop kid and all.
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Jesus, hold on a sec.
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anything useful?
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honestly, stiles is mostly just unsettled because he doesn't remember how he got wherever here is. ]
He's just drunk. And mostly useless as far as information goes.
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What IS the last thing you remember?
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[ what was he doing, what was he doing. come on stiles, think. ]
Talking to Scott. I was leaving LAX practice and I was talking to Scott and he gave me this weird look and then I just
[ this is... stiles doesn't like this. ]
Everything after that is just blank. It's like I blinked really slowly and when I opened my eyes again I was standing in the middle of the woods with some not-dead guy.
Scott's not answering his phone.
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[Sighing, he actually goes to retrace steps because how else is this going to work? And yes, he's trying to get a hold of Scott in the process or anyone that may have seen Stiles before this happened.
WHY. DOES. NO ONE. ANSWER. THEIR. PHONES.
He isn't a bloodhound.]
Scott really needs to just bite you and prevent this from happening again.
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That sounds like a breech of consent and I'm pretty sure Scott wouldn't really be down for that, all things considered. Just saying.
Anyway, what are you doing that you don't believe you're doing?
[ because stiles is just going to start... wandering through the fucking woods i guess. bye, homeless dude. stay warm. ]
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And convince him you want to finally be badass.
GPS doesn't always work, and trust me, there are some perks to this.
[He drives until the scent cuts off into some tree's. What in the hell were you even DOING?]
Rescuing you, obviously.
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[ he was offered the bite, once, what feels like a long time ago now. he was offered, and he almost took it, but in the end he decided he was good being awkward, clumsy, regular stiles. he's happy being human, even if that sometimes leads to him being a little helpless. at least he makes up for it in other ways. ]
I don't need you to rescue me. [ ugh, theo. ] I just need you to find Scott.
[ because that's what he's concerned about while he's out in the middle of the woods with a gap in his memories. priorities. hashtag friendship. ]
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You did have pants on, right?
Anyway, whatever. Being human is fine. You're doing fine.
Except for right now.
You aren't moving are you? Cause that's going to really make this hard if you're going in different directions.
[He pauses a few times, catching little whiffs this way and that but eventually he smells something not so pleasant along with Stiles and heads in that direction.]
I'll find you.
You find Scott.
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He wasn't dead. And I've been walking around? Trying to find less trees. A road. Literally anything.
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Found the dead homeless guy.
STOP.
MOVING.
Or I will bite you for the hell of it.
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But Scott might actually finally believe you're kind of terrible so. I'll have to weigh the pros and cons there.
[ oh, look. he's stopped walking. standing around in the middle of the woods looking like an idiot. this is g r e a t. ]
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It wouldn't be to bring you to the dark side it would be to prove you're a pain in my ass.
[How can you look like an idiot when all there are, are birds, bugs and an annoyed Chimera stalking after you? Wait. It's possible.]
This way. And don't start with me.
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stiles may or may not jump sharply, arms flailing a little and teeth clenching as he pulls himself together. ]
Jesus friggin' Christ what is wrong with you.
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[And yes, there is a slow smirk building because he definitely noticed the angry typing, the sharp lit up angles of a clearly angry human face and then, of course there was the jumping.]
And, your welcome, Princess. Let's go find your Knight. Unless you want to finish that. Looked...important.
typos galore in that last tag my b
Oh, no. It was just a scathing text about how much you suck, but look at that: you're here! No point in wasting the data when I can do it in person.
[ can we just go these woods suck. this whole thing sucks and scott sucks but like, a little bit less than everything else. ]
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[ The woods only suck if you're lost in them. So, yeah, it sucks for you, Stiles. Sorry.
Theo just sort of arches a brow and vaguely waves his hand to point Stiles in the right direction out before he turns back the way he came. ]
You never answered me before.
[ ...hes genuinely curious. ]
You did have pants on when you woke up with that guy, right?
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anyway, stiles is mostly cooperating in that he's following, but grudgingly. guess who's looking forward to listening to theo use this whole rescue situation against him whenever it's convenient? not stiles, that's who.
except now he's suddenly trudging a little bit ahead because if he doesn't he's going to start slinging things at the back of theo's head. like... rocks, maybe. handfuls of leaves. a pine cone. forest things. ]
Holy God, yes— I woke up [ he holds his hands up, making air quotes even as he treks ahead, ] with my pants on. And my shirt and my socks and my shoes, can you please just shut up.
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But he can reign it in a little. Besides...he's secretly happy to know that Stiles didn't somehow end up molested. He's also secretly counting limbs, fingers, various things to make sure everything is intact. ]
Good.
[ To the truck, Mr. Spazzy Woodland Man! ]
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