Grasping futilely for the tissues

[madreen_rua]

 

 

THE SICK DAY MEME

RULES
► Post with your character, name and fandom in the header.
► They are now, for some odd reason, sick (headache, fever, runny nose, cough, whatever you want).
► Another character replies and is struck with the sudden urge to take care of them (bringing them soup, extra blankets, Sudafed, sexual healing, what have you).
► Go from there!

originally from mememaster!

Comments

[greenlighting]

I didn't shout. I cursed but I didn't shout.

[ arguing specifics here but it's all he had then. if he wasn't as tired and weak as he feels, that sentence would've involved a lot more actual shouting.

it's then he wished he wished barry was here instead. barry would've been here in minutes and then gone in an hour after tucking hal in or something equally responsible and caring. and none of it would have been out of place. what are best friends for after all.

he looks at bruce with his expensive suit, with gotham bleeding out of him and in to the air around him, and he rubs his face and sighs louder than he wanted to be. ]

I don't mean to be ungrateful. But a five hour-- three hour flight for soup and being nice? I don't have anything worth your while here, if you know what I mean.

[ sick or not, he can't forget about the transactional nature of their relationship. well, most of his relationships anyway. maybe this is new to bruce, but what does he know. hal offers, with a slight cringe, both at himself and the idea ]

You want me to jack you off?

[batsuits]

[ there's a glare there that shows hal exactly what bruce thinks about him arguing semantics. he really doesn't get why hal is fighting him so hard here, why they're even arguing in the first place. it's just -- he just wanted to be here, to do something nice for hal. he asked him to come and he sounded so sad about it that bruce couldn't help but just... want to do it. want to do anything to make hal stop sounding sad.

he hadn't seen him in a while either, knew hal was in space for a month or two now and maybe he missed him a little. he didn't think this would be such a big deal but his presence is clearly upsetting hal and he... he doesn't get it.

then, hal says that. he spits it out, as if bruce is only here for sex, only here for his body and bruce's eyes widen in pure shock. he didn't think hal would go that far or even think he was capable of that but it's clear that bruce misinterpreted this badly. his mouth falls open in quiet shock and he steps back, as if he's been slapped. he wasn't looking for sex. he just... ]

I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer. You know that's not why I'm here. You know I wouldn't treat you like that.

[ bruce lifts his hand, pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to think, to explain himself. he just... ]

I don't know what's wrong with you. Flu or not, there's no reason to be a jackass, Hal. I came to help you, that's it. I don't want anything from you. I just...

[ why is he here? why did he come? with all of this, with the confusion of their relationship yet hal asked him to jump and he essentially asked how high. he's here, he came all this way and there's only really one reason why. ]

I just wanted to see you.

[greenlighting]

[ bruce says he should know and hal has the decency to look shame faced about it. he's right, hal should know. there's no proof of bruce ever treating him that way and they both know it. it's just hal and that vague feeling of guilt nestling in hid stomach.

he toys with the idea of shrugging it off -- you're still not my boyfriend, asshole. we just fuck. don't get any ideas. -- and he snorts. that's one sure way of fucking whatever this thing between them is. bruce wanted to see him, so alright. he's not too embarrassed about his state of dress or lack of composure to allow it to happen, to let bruce see him without the smart mouth, the pilot jacket, or the bravado.

hal looks at bruce, shadows under his eyes and his face sharper than the last time they saw each other, and allows himself to just be seen for a moment.

when he speaks again, it's a hoarse but steady voice that crawls out of his chest. ]

Could you-- I don't want to move and I don't want to talk with you over there. Could you just get over here?

[batsuits]

[ after his confession, because it most certainly is a confession in some way, he's not sure how to react. he's not sure if hal is going to lash out, call it stupid, tell him to leave, everything like that. so, he waits quietly, watches hal and braces himself for impact.

except the impact doesn't come. nothing does. instead hal seems to let go of his anger and let bruce... see him. bruce looks right back, notes the differences from when they last met. hal was healthier and a little more filled out then. tan from being in the sun for a while and had a wolfish smile as he pushes bruce into a closet and attacked his throat. it was a good memory, something that pleased bruce even after hal left and... stayed gone.

now, he looks a little different. a little most ghostly. bruce supposes that's why he needed to see him, needed to be able to ... help.

hal asks him to come closer and it surprises bruce but his hesitation doesn't last for long. he moves away from the kitchen sink and back around the kitchen island as he goes closer to the couch and where hal has his soup. he pauses just a little when he gets to the couch before slowly sitting down at the other end, letting hal have his space. when he sits there, he leans his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands together. ]

I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Hal.

[ he gets it. maybe hal didn't expect it, bruce's sincerity. it must have been incredibly uncomfortable for him for bruce to wash his dishes, to fill out his fridge. he should have asked first. ]

[greenlighting]

[ there's the problem; they don't make each other comfortable. they have always been uncomfortably present in each others' lives, when they are in each others' lives. hal thinks this but doesn't say it. his mind is just blank. there's too much going on underneath the surface here. bruce had shown him a side that he hadn't expected, it was an opening and hal had slammed it shut in his face because he thought that was the right thing to do-- to create boundaries.

sitting here now, he opens that door again. he doesn't respond with any reassurance for bruce, that he didn't make him uncomfortable. that'd be a lie, and he doesn't want to lie to bruce now. not after that dressing down. he rubs his face again and feels his head and shoulders ache at ht movement. ]

You can't do this and expect me to think it's only Bruce being nice for a friend. [ and because he can already feel the backlash of his words -- why can't he just be nice, it's not a problem to him, it shouldn't be a problem if they're friends -- hal groans loudly and scrubs that five o'clock shadow on his cheek ]

The thing is I start to think that maybe it's more than that, and I can't afford that. Not with you. So if you're here because you want to be nice for a friend then thanks, I appreciate it but I don't need you to make me fall in love with you more. Just tell me I am reading too much into it again and we'll close the books on it.

[batsuits]

[ bruce isn't exactly sure where hal is going with this at first. he seems frustrated, upset, and bruce wants to make it right but everything he's doing seems to be the opposite of what hal wants. he wishes he could go back to just ignoring that part of him, just bulldozing right over hal and doing what he wants but it just isn't the same anymore.

he's seen things, parts of hal that he doesn't share with anyone else, soft smiles meant just for bruce and sleepy mornings where all they do is kiss for a while. it's not something they meant to share but it happened and there's no going back from it. right now, bruce wishes they weren't having this argument while hal was so sick, wishes he could just convince hal to drop it and get some rest. he doesn't want him to feel worse, you know?

but then hal keeps speaking and bruce keeps listening and suddenly what hal's saying is just a little too much. his eyes widen as he watches hal, pieces together what he's saying and his mouth falls open a little in shock. hal... is in love with him? hal's in love with him and has been hiding it this whole time, that's why he's so angry with bruce. it's hurting him for bruce to be nice to him with the distance between them.

oh, hal. ]

... Hal, I'm taking care of you because it's the right thing to do. I care about you a lot and I don't want you to be here, alone, trying to suffer through your flu. There's no motive there beyond that. Just me, a person who cares for you, not wanting you to suffer.

[ then he stops and turns to hal, reaching out and placing a hand on hal's knee as he looks at him sincerely. icy blue eyes meeting warm brown, he needs to make this very clear to him. ]

I'm not doing it because I have feelings for you, let alone because I love you. That wouldn't be right. My taking care of you doesn't hinge on my affection for you. You're my friend and I'll always be there for you, no matter how much we argue.

[ and before hal can get the wrong idea, he follows up very quickly -- ]

That said, I do have feelings for you. I may even love you but I'm not sure, I haven't explored the feelings yet. I've kept them to myself because you made it clear a relationship wasn't on the table but if that's something you'd like to pursue, I wouldn't be opposed. Is that okay?

[greenlighting]

[ he does, predictably, take it the wrong way at first. he's already convincing himself that he can do that, he can be friends, too. and he'll try his damnest not to be a dick about it next time. he stares at the hands in front of him and nods weakly to everything bruce says. then it hits him that bruce is still talking, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. there's that door openning and he's being allowed to peak in, see what's going on in bruce's mind.

hal press his lips together and slowly lets his hand cover the hand on his knee, cover his callous palms over bruce's knuckles and lets his fingers slide between. he shivers, not entirely because his flu but everything does feel heightened then.

he's so stupidly far gone for bruce, he could laugh at the question. and he does, just a soft laugh that doesn't hurt him too much. everything about him is softer when it's clear he's being given a chance here. ]

It's more than okay.

[ it only catches up to him how vague bruce kept his own wants. he wouldn't be oppsoed isn't exactly i want a relationship with you too. ]

I'm not good for it. Relationships. But-- I want you outside of sex. That something you'd like to pursue?

[batsuits]

[ he gets it, is the thing. between the two of them, the normal boundaries and obligations of a relationship are not something they could manage. he doesn't know what it means for them, to even try, but he does know he wants hal in return. he watches their joined hands, turning his own slowly to catch hal's in a more secure hold as he leans over, presses his lips to hal's temple and pushes his nose into his hair. for a moment, he just stays there, just breathes him in and holds his hand.

when he pulls back, it's with a nod. how does he explain this, his wants, his needs, especially when he's not sure what he wants yet either. christ. ]

Yeah, that is. I want... [ he considers it, staring at hal's hand while his thumb rubs across his skin in gentle strokes. ] I don't want you to see other people. I want monogamy but I don't care about the... other stuff. I don't care if you go into space and don't come back for two weeks, two months, two years -- as long as when you come back, you come to me.

[ is that a relationship or just a reflection of bruce's loneliness? he's not sure but he knows it's something he needs if they're going to escalate this into something more than an occasional hook up. he looks to hal then, lifting their hands to press a kiss to the back of hal's hand. ]

And I want to be allowed to take care of you, like today. I want to be allowed to express my affection for you, in whatever manner that takes. We don't have to show it to others, I'm not one for that in the first place, but I want to show it to you.

[greenlighting]

[ hal's quiet for some time, his eyes staring at their hands and turning back up at bruce. he feels too vulnerable; there's nothing to shield him against this, no way for him casually grin and make a causal flirty comment to wave this off. and he doesn't want to. i'm in love with bruce wayne was something he avoided thinking for so long, it feels good to have it out in the open. for bruce to acknowledge it, even if he doesn't say it back.

hal lets go of bruce's hand and uses it to cup his face and nudge him forward until their heads rests against each others. yes, he's sick. he's not entirely convinced it's not an alien ... thing yet. but this is it. he keeps a shudder down his back to himself and nods against him. ]

Anything, Bruce. I can't promise you that I'll be good it. But you'll know I'll be trying.

[ he loves him and he thinks that's going to be a bitch on some days. today's going to be one of the good days; everything is bright and everything seems light and floaty. he falls into bruce's arms, puts his head on his shoulder and all 186lbs of him on bruce, and grins a dopey grin. ]

Guess I'll have to ask J'onn to stop sending me sexy telepathic pictures of us together.

[batsuits]

[ there's a sensible part of his brain reminding him that hal is sick, that he should probably extract himself and get hal to sleep. yet he can't bear it, instead letting hal pull him in and press so close that bruce can feel the heat of him. bruce responds in turn, sliding his arm around hal's middle and holding him tight as they lean together. his other hand still holds onto hal's, squeezing his hand just a little in his affection.

he's... well, he's not in love yet, he thinks. he's not sure. but god, does he have feelings for hal. he has such blinding affection for him it's hard to breathe sometimes. he's so glad that they've reached this point and there's a soft laugh as hal collapses into his arms, both of his going around hal to drag him into his lap and hold him to his chest as he presses his face to hal's hair. ]

... All I want is for you to try, Hal. That's it.

[ he presses a kiss to hal's temple and it's when hal makes the crack about j'onn that he pulls back slightly to raise an eyebrow at him. ]

You're kidding.

[ you better be. ]