she's trying, with poe. she's trying to like him. but it's not working. not when she sees kylo ren behind every shadow. not when he doesn't understand her like he did, not when she can't talk to him about this.
the futility of it infuriates her. that fury touches the dark side. she knows it. she hates it. it only gives him more of what he wants. ]
you're only sorry because you're alone. you're not sorry for the resistance fighters you killed. you're not sorry that luke is gone. and you're not sorry that i feel like this.
[ You can practically hear his tone through the text. Not condescending. Not argumentative. Soft and simple. Surprising serenity given the rest of his ferocity.
They've danced around the subject. He's sure she's felt so much more of his mind than she lets on. It scares them both.
He knows if he vocalizes what he's feeling-- truly feeling, every disgusting vulnerable miserable frightened emotion... she'd come delivering herself to him again to rip apart the entire fleet.
He can't ask that. He can't comprehend that. He could hardly believe when she came for him in the first place. He can't risk it again.
He thinks of trying to change the topic or just ending the conversation... but strangely he finds he can't do that to her now. He's taken too much choice away from her already. ]
Shaking and crying it's true also sorry for short I'm at dinner
[ He won't defend himself against the other accusation-- though it had been clear to everyone, including Hux and Snoke that his priorities had laid elsewhere for some time. Always personal, specific.
If he had lost his laser focus on her, on Luke, the entire Resistance would have been destroyed.
He's only lucky that no one had either noticed or thought to tell Hux or Snoke in his hesitation over killing General Organa. ]
he came back to take responsibility for what he did. he protected us from the monster he made. of course i forgive him. he gave his life trying to fix his mistakes.
[ A pause before a flurry ] None of them came for me.
No one.
Luke ran away. Let the galaxy think he was dead.
So did my father.
My mother formed the Resistance.
They left me. For six years.
When you met my father did he want to look for me? Or did he try to run away? When you left did my uncle follow you to help? Or did he tell you I was beyond hope?
Would any of them come if it weren't for you?
[ She should feel that rush of emotion now ]
I loved them and they left. I loved them and they decided I was beyond salvation.
They didn't fix their mistakes. You did.
[ The Resistance never came for him. Even his mother hadn't tried. Luke attempted to kill him, he defended himself. He ran to the only person who offered him protection from the man whom he adored and feared with every fiber of his being. The only person who could guarantee that he could make him stronger. Strong enough to face him.
No one came. No one except-- ]
You were the only one Rey. You came for me and no one else has.
Despise me all you want. Kill me the next time we see each other. Destroy me if you must. But you came for me.
[ A pause here, considering how to end his rant. ]
I'll never forget that.
Edited (whoops there aint worlds here. just galaxies and typo whoops) 2017-12-30 07:47 (UTC)
i came for you, and you turned me away. just like you did them. the only difference is i'm alive to talk about it.
i can't save you, ben. you can't wait for someone to come for you who can. no one can save you but yourself.
[ that's what she had learned, coming for him when she did. seeing the connection they had, and seeing him resist it to continue on the path he'd laid for himself. ]
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what a big baby
i'm sending that hux after ur rey in vengeance.
[ His entire motivation for wanting to burn it down. ]
VENGEANCE FOR WHAT but also do it
i don't miss you at all.
i found someone else, someone kinder, someone who can be what i want.
[ be angry. hate me. anything would be better than this. anything would be better than the hurt of acknowledging what had been lost. ]
FOR FEELINGS.
You're not a very good liar, Rey.
oh ok guilty as charged
[ not back then. but now ...
she's trying, with poe. she's trying to like him. but it's not working. not when she sees kylo ren behind every shadow. not when he doesn't understand her like he did, not when she can't talk to him about this.
the futility of it infuriates her. that fury touches the dark side. she knows it. she hates it. it only gives him more of what he wants. ]
you're only sorry because you're alone. you're not sorry for the resistance fighters you killed. you're not sorry that luke is gone. and you're not sorry that i feel like this.
THROWS FEELINGS BACK UP ON YOU.
Do you believe that?
[ You've been in his mind. You know how deep his sorrow strikes. ]
no i didn't want these
[ no. but she's afraid of it. ]
To bad they’re what you ordered
Return this to the kitchen I'm allergic
/whispers/ you love it
[ You can practically hear his tone through the text. Not condescending. Not argumentative. Soft and simple. Surprising serenity given the rest of his ferocity.
They've danced around the subject. He's sure she's felt so much more of his mind than she lets on. It scares them both.
He knows if he vocalizes what he's feeling-- truly feeling, every disgusting vulnerable miserable frightened emotion... she'd come delivering herself to him again to rip apart the entire fleet.
He can't ask that. He can't comprehend that. He could hardly believe when she came for him in the first place. He can't risk it again.
He thinks of trying to change the topic or just ending the conversation... but strangely he finds he can't do that to her now. He's taken too much choice away from her already. ]
Shaking and crying it's true also sorry for short I'm at dinner
It's okay I'm about to run off and become a magical girl agai-- that's just odd to say on kylos acct
You know what you believe.
[ An assurance.
'she's more powerful than she knows.' ]
Transformation sequence music plays
VADER PRISM POWERRRR MAAAAAAAAAAAAKE UP.
Trust yourself.
Your convictions are your strength.
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I didn't kill Skywalker.
[ He won't defend himself against the other accusation-- though it had been clear to everyone, including Hux and Snoke that his priorities had laid elsewhere for some time. Always personal, specific.
If he had lost his laser focus on her, on Luke, the entire Resistance would have been destroyed.
He's only lucky that no one had either noticed or thought to tell Hux or Snoke in his hesitation over killing General Organa. ]
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of course i forgive him. he gave his life trying to fix his mistakes.
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He pulls away from her. ]
You have your answers then.
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you're not sorry. you don't want forgiveness because you don't believe your crimes require it. you believe they're justified.
dear you both. chill.
forreal why are they so extra
you didn't stop when i begged you to spare the resistance.
you didn't stop when i turned you away.
why would i stop now?
they need to fuck probably. Also prepare ur kokoros
None of them came for me.
No one.
Luke ran away. Let the galaxy think he was dead.
So did my father.
My mother formed the Resistance.
They left me. For six years.
When you met my father did he want to look for me? Or did he try to run away? When you left did my uncle follow you to help? Or did he tell you I was beyond hope?
Would any of them come if it weren't for you?
[ She should feel that rush of emotion now ]
I loved them and they left. I loved them and they decided I was beyond salvation.
They didn't fix their mistakes. You did.
[ The Resistance never came for him. Even his mother hadn't tried. Luke attempted to kill him, he defended himself. He ran to the only person who offered him protection from the man whom he adored and feared with every fiber of his being. The only person who could guarantee that he could make him stronger. Strong enough to face him.
No one came. No one except-- ]
You were the only one Rey. You came for me and no one else has.
Despise me all you want. Kill me the next time we see each other. Destroy me if you must. But you came for me.
[ A pause here, considering how to end his rant. ]
I'll never forget that.
no i didn't want this
i can't save you, ben. you can't wait for someone to come for you who can. no one can save you but yourself.
[ that's what she had learned, coming for him when she did. seeing the connection they had, and seeing him resist it to continue on the path he'd laid for himself. ]
1/2 I REFUSE TO LET THIS END ON A TERRIBLE NOTE GODDAMMIT
2/4 I LIED AND I HAVENT DONE ONE OF THESE IN A WHILE CONGRATS
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DONE
LMAO BLESS HIS HEART
IMAGINE HIM STALKING THRU HALLWAYS TRYING NOT TO CRY
ben solo you are embarrassing
I mean.. once he took off the mask we realized that he was just on the verge of tears all the time
true he lives in a state of near tears
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