Sexting the night away

[justformemes]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

[bozhemoi]

I’m impressed. You could have had gratitude sex.
But I get the impression you’re angling for angry rough sex.

[blindninja]

I take everything back. I'll save you some.

[bozhemoi]

I can slap you on the ass if they’re good. Compromise?

[blindninja]

Don't you do that anyway?
I'll be presumptuous and assume you're nearby and not in Mombasa. I'll keep them warm.

[bozhemoi]

It’s just such a great ass.
You’d be right. I’m in Queens. I’ll leave now.

[blindninja]

I could bring these to you if you're busy.
The slapping or spanking should probably wait until we get home though.

[bozhemoi]

Just dropping something off for a fellow arachnid.

I’m not missing out on slapping and spanking.

[blindninja]

I'm surprised you're not bored hanging around my backyard yet.

[bozhemoi]

You know I’ll go if I need to go.
Boredom isn’t quite a sensation I feel with you.

[blindninja]

[bozhemoi]

Are you sure you’re not bored?
... but it was cute.

[blindninja]

You have to ask Siri specifically for Winnie the Pooh because otherwise she'll give you

[bozhemoi]

And that really would be a mood killer.

except not because laughing too hard at work

[blindninja]

Yeah I found that out the awkward way.

that’s when you know you got it right

[bozhemoi]

Do I want to ask what happened?

Siri/Bigsby don't actually do emojis, they will just write out 'egg plant emoji' which is funny too

[blindninja]

I just sighed. As usual, Siri let me down in new and interesting ways.

Of all the emojis to write out lol

[bozhemoi]

I don’t want to have to keep saying I’m better than her but...

Well then I started arguing with my colleague, like maybe Siri calls it a brinjal or aubergine...

[blindninja]

You are. Don't let her try and convince you otherwise.

Damn fancy siri and her international ways

[bozhemoi]

She keeps trying to get between us, but I won’t let her.

4 people in the lunchroom screaming OHHHBURRJEAN EMOJI! COME ON! STUPID PHONE!

[blindninja]

She's not getting any of my baked goods, so I think she knows she can't compare to you.

Ha ha ha omg gold

[bozhemoi]

Am I allowed to ask what’s in them, or is it a surprise?

Yeah. Unfortunately, still no go. "aubergine emoji"

[blindninja]

Beef and mash, mostly. Nothing exciting. I have no qualms taking my fists to a sword fight but give me a knife and whole vegetables and I get worried about losing a finger.

[bozhemoi]

I’m still impressed that you even made them. Are your fingers okay or do I need to kiss them better?

[blindninja]

I burnt the back of my hand on the oven but it's not serious.
If anything it might add to the flavour and crispiness of the puff pastry.

[bozhemoi]

See, normally I'd be able to offer to pick up a sexy nurse's uniform but I always have to think differently with you.
Mm, essence of Murdock... um, oops.