the P H O N E H E L L meme

[m3m3]

Cell phones, eh? Sometimes they make your life easier, and sometimes they make it harder.



#1: Texts From Last Night
#2: Damn you, Autocorrect
#3: Recipient Misfire
#4: Mix & Match
#5: Wildcard

Option One:
Texts From Last Night
You know the drill: RNG, or pick one that tickles your fancy. Post blank and let others text you about their night, or send out a mass text for anyone to reply to by posting a TFLN when you tag the post.

Option Two:
Damn You Autocorrect
We've all done it. Either sit and wait for other people's mistakes to come to you with a blank tag, or take the bull by the horns and make the first move mistake by posting an autocorrect error when you tag the post.

Option Three:
Recipient Misfire
It's just so easy to hit the wrong name in your phone, isn't it? Embarrassment city! ...But is that better or worse than manually inputting the number incorrectly and texting a complete stranger by mistake?

Option Four:
Mix & Match!
Let autocorrect fuck up the TFLN you're sending to the wrong person. Go nuts!

Option Five:
Do Whatever The Fuck You Want
You know what, if none of these ideas are good enough for you, your ass can come up with something else. I don't even care.

Comments

[manofiron]

I can have JARVIS put a block on your number so she can't call you.

[therealgenius]

But then she'd call YOU and it would just

--I'll handle it.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........am I your new PA?

1/2

[manofiron]

Yes.

[manofiron]

But only if I can be yours, too.

[therealgenius]

Sorry, but you can't afford me. I refuse the position.

[manofiron]

Guess that means I'm on my own.

[therealgenius]

[file attached]

+

[file attached]

???

[manofiron]

Which one are you? Buzz or Woody?

[therealgenius]

Ernest Doggone Wild, duh

[manofiron]

I have a hard time picturing you in a cowboy hat.

[therealgenius]

The slinky dog!

It sucks Jim Varney died, though. I don't want to be a dead dog, but I like him the best.

[manofiron]

I'm just. I was making a joke. Play on words. Okay, never mind. It wasn't funny.

Did you ever have a dog?

[therealgenius]

No. But I had a twin.

[manofiron]

What?

[therealgenius]

They call it a "vanishing twin." There were two eggs. There were supposed to be two babies, but the other one died and I absorbed it.

That's the closest thing I had to a sibling. Or a pet.

[manofiron]

I had no idea. That's pretty cool. That's actually really cool.

I didn't have any real siblings. Or pets.

[therealgenius]

I was pretty torn up when I first found out, actually. I thought I was a murderer and it was just "okay" because I was a baby or whatever and "didn't know any better." And then I realized I was too, uh, gestational to think about it, and they'd already died so...I guess, when you're a fetus, eating dead fetuses isn't cannibalism but...hell, womb etiquette? Wombiquette? Something?

Do you think you could deal with a pet, Tony?

[manofiron]

You didn't kill anybody, Justin. You know that now, right? You're not a cannibal either.

Does it still bother you?

Unless it was something like JARVIS and smarter than me? Probably not.

[therealgenius]

Of course I know that! It took all of fifteen minutes of stressing out before I realized that. You know, once you reach the honest, logical conclusion? Ruminating on it is kind of pointless. I don't sit up at night on my birthday and talk to the ceiling like I'm talking to my dead twin in baby heaven or something.

I'd say you should get a dolphin, but...

[manofiron]

I'm just, you know, trying to be sensitive like I wasn't a couple seconds ago. I don't think you go through your day talking to your dead twin.

Do you really want Johnny Mnemonic to be a thing that happens? Because if I had a dolphin, you know it would.

[therealgenius]

It's okay, Tony. It's not a sore spot for me at all.

Okay, how about a bonobo? They're crazy intelligent. They're probably as smart as JARVIS. Which, now that I think about it, would be a bad idea, because they'd get their hands on super crazy tech and blow it all to hell.

Unless you want me to go down the Keanu Reeves route of this all instead.

[manofiron]

The monkey? No. Pass on the monkey. I don't want a monkey. I saw Planet of the Apes. I know how it goes. We'd be singing Dr. Zaius's praises in chorus line formation before you realized it if I had a monkey.

No. Don't do that. I know where that path goes and I don't want to go there.

[therealgenius]

They're like a supermonkey, though. You could make them little Mini Yous. Mini Iron Man suits. Like that one cartoon with the monkey sidekick? I think he was purple. You could color coordinate--

WAIT. Okay, so, if purple cells in plants are the masters of photosynthesis, you could start trying to figure out Iron Man in space using them instead. Almost everyone's sent monkeys into space at this point, it has precedence!

[manofiron]

Do you really think I need an Iron Monkey corp? That would be animal cruelty. Endangering the welfare of bozos everywhere.

I'm not experimenting on monkeys! That's why I have JARVIS. He runs test simulations. Although, you know, that point about the plants is a good one. I'm going to check into that.

[therealgenius]

Bonobos. Bozo was a clown who did children's TV on Sunday mornings. How dare you run his name through the monkey mud. I am offended on behalf of clowns everywhere.

You can't shoot JARVIS into space, though. And if you made a human JARVIS and tried to do that, I think I'd have to call SHIELD or social services. I can't decide if that would count as reckless endangerment of a child or Tony Stark needing a talking from the big man with one eye.